by Amber Monroe
"Damn….so she probably doesn't even like me, huh?"
"Oh nah, that broad really likes you, and that's going to make it difficult for Tino if he ever feels like he wants to get rid of you. Just watch your back, bro. You can't trust those Henríquez folks."
"So, what should I do?"
"If you want out, I can pull some strings and get you out, but you may have to go away for a while."
"For how long?"
"Maybe a couple of years. I don't know, lemme work on something for you, and I'll get back to you."
"Alright, but can we keep this between us? I don't want Wayne or Raquel to know."
"I got you, lil bro," He said as he dapped me.
∞∞∞
My mind was so far gone for the past twenty minutes that I didn't even notice when Chianne came out.
"Y'all ready to head back?" I heard Chianne ask. I sat up in my chair and saw her slowly walking over to us. She saw me and noticed Tiffany sitting next to me. Shit! I thought to myself. She probably wasn't going to talk to me now or ever again. Wayne and Quel quickly stood to their feet. Kay, Roon, and I followed suit. I could feel the heat from Tiffany's body as she was burning a hole into Chianne's head. I ignored her ass.
"Is Bre okay? How is the baby?" Quel questioned.
"Bre is alert. She wants to talk to y'all." Chianne said.
"What about the baby?" I asked.
"Just head to the back and let Bre tell y'all."
"Tell us what?" Wayne was anxious and becoming angry, so Kay grabbed his hand.
"Look, I know y'all have questions, and Bre is ready to answer them. Just don't judge her. Listen as she talks and be there for her. She needs it." Chianne said, then started walking away. We were all confused, but Wayne, Quel, and I followed her to the back.
"Let them go check on their sister, sis." I heard Kay say to Tiffany, and I was glad because I hope she didn't think she was welcome to come with us. I looked back at Kay and nodded towards her. She winked and pulled Tiffany's hand back into the waiting room. Once I knew Bre was good, I was going to get my shit together and figure out how to lose Tiffany. I would literally take anything to get away from her and her daddy.
28. Bre
An Hour Ago....
“Do you know what you’re going to name her?” Ricky asked.
“Yeah, Janelle Rici Allen. I want her middle name to represent you since you’re the reason she’s made it into this world.” I said as I looked down at my healthy baby girl. I don’t even know how to explain this miracle I was looking at, but God only comes to mind; God. I was beyond grateful for Him sending Ricky in when He did because I don’t know what would’ve happened. According to my doctor, I was losing a lot of blood, and my baby’s umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. That’s just a little information I retained because it was a lot, but all I could focus on was my little angel’s birth. Janelle was so freaking cute! She had the cutest gray colored eyes that I was hoping would stay since I knew babies go through a lot of changes as they grow. She had two dimples and soft black curly hair. It was hard to tell who she resembled more, but I could definitely see Jemar in her. And I wasn’t even mad since he was her father. Even after everything he put me through, I forgave him because, crazily, he possibly saved our daughter’s life. I remember the doctor saying that it was a good thing I came when I did because they were able to save Janelle since she was almost choking. Thank God, I was still able to have her vaginally because she was starting to crown. There was so much going on that I couldn’t enjoy her birth like I intended to, but I’m happy that Ricky, Chianne and my dad were here to help me. I actually requested for all three to stay in the room with me. I don’t know how things will be with Jemar now, but one thing I know is that I don’t want to keep him from his child. If Janelle doesn’t have a relationship with him, that will be because of him and not me. Of course, I didn’t trust him alone with her, but I was willing to arrange supervised visits if he wanted it.
“I like that.” Ricky smiled. We were on Facetime, and I had the camera view on Jenelle so he could see her.
“And I want you to be her godfather. That’s if you want to be.”
“I would love to be that for her. You know I got her…..and you.”
“I know. And I appreciate that. And thanks for not telling my dad everything.” I said softly. Even though my dad and I had that talk when I first came to his house, I still didn’t share everything with him. I definitely downplayed the whole domestic situation and told him it only happened twice, and I fought back both times. I know I haven’t shared too much about Kingsley Allen, but from what you can see, he knows a lot and has reach. And I know that if he knew what was really going down, Jemar was a dead man walking. I didn’t want that to be on my conscience, even though he deserved something to happen to him, that wasn’t my call. I know that one-day, Jemar will have to answer and account for all he’s done, known and unknown. However, I did tell Ricky the truth about what led me on the floor, bleeding.
“No problem. I’ve heard stories of Kingsley Allen, and I don’t think these streets want the wrath of that man walking around.” Ricky joked.
“So when are you coming up for a visit?” I asked.
“Missing me already?” He asked, licking his lips. Thank God the camera view was still on Janelle, who was drifting to sleep. My cheeks were burning, which was weird since I’ve just given birth to another man’s child.
“Actually, I do,” I admitted. Yeah, it felt weird, but Ricky didn’t mean anything by it. I was the homie to him and actually everything he witnessed me go through, I was probably damaged goods.
“I miss you too, Bre. I’m not sure yet. We need to get settled in and adjust to this new city.” He sighed. That new life, Ricky, was trying to get me to start with him was very real. His mother had a new job that required a relocation to Atlanta. Today was his last day in DC, and he was headed to see Jemar to get his last payment. He had to rush to the airport to make his flight after he stayed to make sure Janelle and I were okay. His mother said she would’ve rescheduled for a later flight, but Ricky said if they didn’t leave when they attended, he was afraid he may never leave. He would’ve gotten himself into my shit, and that wasn’t his battle to fight.
“I get it. It’s no rush, I just want Janelle to get familiar with you.”
“She will. We have time because I’m not going anywhere, and wait until I tell my mother I’m her godfather, she’s going to think I made her a grandmother.”
“Ms. Gina is going to fall in love with her as soon as you show her pictures.”
“I already did, and she said we need to hurry up and get back so she can meet her. Nelle will probably grow more attached to her than me.”
“Probably so.”
“Flip the camera around.” He said.
“Why? I look a mess, and Nelle is sleeping so cute.”
“Yeah, she is, but I want to see you.” I contemplated for a second or two then decided to flip the camera around. I hadn’t seen a mirror since I got dressed earlier before all of this shit went down. I know my hair was all over the place, and my face was crusty.
“Happy?” I snapped but was just joking.
“Yeah, I am.” He smiled. I tried to hide my smile, but the corner of my mouth was betraying me.
“So, what’s next?” He asked.
“Shit, I don’t know. I’m officially moving in with my dad after I’m discharged. He said that he was sending some people to get my stuff from Jemar’s place. Once I’m healed, I’m definitely going to start summer classes, so I catch up with school. My dad said he had a job for me once Janelle is old enough for daycare. In the meantime, he’s going to support us financially.” I shared.
“That’s good. Well, you know you can always still come to Atlanta. My mother said you are more than welcomed if you ever need another option.”
“Thanks, maybe I’ll take you up on that offer one day.”
“It’s no rush. So what about ole’ boy
?”
“I don’t know. I’m not going to stop him from pursuing a relationship with his daughter. Still, shit is definitely not going to be sweet.”
“You trust him?”
“Not really, but I don’t want Janelle growing up and feeling like I kept her from him even though I have every right to. If she doesn’t have a relationship with him, it’s because of him and not me.”
“I understand. Do you think he’s going to come around, especially after what happened?”
“Probably not. He’s a coward, and he knows what he did was wrong. He’s not going to want to face me.”
“Do you want to face him?”
∞∞∞
“She’s so pretty!” Alexis screamed.
“Shhhh! Not so loud.” Raquel scolded her while she held Janelle, who was sleeping peacefully. My family was now visiting me, well us, and I was happy to have them around. Grandma Pep came through an hour ago with my cousins, Kalliyah, Kamille, Keshawn, and Alexis. I had a minute to Facetime Keisha and give a quick update. I didn’t feel comfortable showing my baby off since knowing her plans for hers, but I know that she was happy for me. After they left, Alexis stayed with my other siblings so she could spend more time with the baby. Wayne and Eric were sitting on the couch that was in the corner. They were quiet, I guess, just waiting for me to spill the beans—Alexis and Raquel was by my side on the bed. My room had been filled overnight with balloons, gifts, flowers, and cards. Most were from my family, but Chianne and Roon contributed to most of the balloons in the room. Chianne had been around all night, too, but decided to give me some time with my family while she went home to change and rest a little. She definitely seemed a little bothered with Eric being around. And every time he found a reason to be close to her, she had a very irritated facial expression. I know Eric could be annoying at times, but this seemed different, and I was quite curious about what was up with them.
Anywho, this was my second day in the hospital, and my doctor said I would be released in about two days. After my conversation with Ricky, I got sleepy myself. I ended up falling asleep after the nurses came to take Janelle back to the nursery. By the time my family came to see me, I was already sleeping. And instead of leaving because the visiting hours were over, they somehow got to stay in my room all night. I knew I wanted to talk to them and speed them up on what was going on with me. I know they cared about me and would care about Janelle just as much. I’m not sure how much I’m willing to tell them, because Wayne and Eric were crazy like my dad. Raquel would probably feel bad and become a mama bear. Wayne and Eric were loose cannons, so no telling how they would react to hearing Jemar put hands on me.
“Sorry,” Alexis said as she kissed Janelle’s cheek.
“It’s okay.” I smiled. I knew that she was so happy about a new baby being around.
“I’m going to be the best Auntie ever!”
“I know you are. Janelle doesn’t know what she’s about to get herself into.” Raquel shook her head. Just then, Janelle started to stir in her sleep and burst out crying. Poor Alexis thought she did something wrong and quickly handed her off to Quel, who began to rock her.
“Sorry, Bre. I didn’t mean to.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, she’s probably hungry,” I said and reached my arms to retrieve my baby. I was determined to give Janelle all of these nutrients from my breasts because they will be filled with milk. Homegirl was going to love the free milk because the way my breasts were already hurting, she better appreciate every sip.
“You hungry, mama?” Quel said in her baby voice as she handed Nelle to me. I pulled my hospital gown down to expose my left breast and allowed Nelle to latch on. I can’t lie the first time she tried, it didn’t work out, but after a nurse showed me how to get her to, it worked.
“Wow, she’s hunnnnnnngryyyyy.” Alexis giggled. I saw Wayne and Eric out of the corner of my eyes, frowning up their face.
“Why y’all looking like that?” I said with an attitude. They were my brothers, and since Wayne was a father, I would think he would cool with seeing me feed my daughter. However, I don’t think Aniyah breastfed the girls, so this was new to him.
“It’s just weird seeing you….feed her...like that. You can’t put that in a bottle or something. I don’t want to see your titty.” Eric said as if he was disgusted.
“It’s just a breast. Y’all probably sucked on plenty.” Quel said while rolling her neck. She handed me one of Nelle’s baby blankets. I frowned. “What?”
“I don’t want to cover up. I don’t want to be one of those women who gets shamed for wanting to feed her child publicly. Y’all are my family. I should be able to feed her without somebody feeling uncomfortable.” I expressed.
“It’s fine, Bre do your thing. Eric and I will step out for a minute until you’re finished.” Wayne said as he got up from the couch, and Eric followed him out of the door.
“They are so dramatic,” Quel said as soon as they walked out. I just shook my head and continued to feed Janelle.
“Does it hurt?” She asked as she stood over me, watching Nelle feast.
“A little, the nurse told me the pain will go away once my breast gets used to the feeling. But I don’t mind the pain as long as my baby is happy and fed.”
“She definitely is happy and fed. She’s already getting a little chunky.”
“No, she’s not!”
“Yes, she is. She was getting a little heavy in my arms when I was holding her.”
“You calling my baby fat?”
“Of course not, but that baby got weight!” She laughed. I rolled my eyes while chuckling at her corny joke. I fed Janelle until she seemed full then burped her. I fixed my gown and got comfortable in the bed. Quel changed her diaper as she fell back to sleep then let her rest in her bed. Wayne and Eric came back in the room, and I figured it was now or never.
“I’m ready to talk to you guys, but promise me no judgment or getting all crazy. Just listen and let me tell y’all my story,” I said. They all sat down on my bed, looking at me.
“Does Alexis need to be here?”
“I want to be here,” Alexis said as she crossed her arms across her chest. I think she was offended, and I understood why. We were always sending her away when we felt like she was too young for a particular conversation. However, this is a conversation I wanted her to hear, but not now. She wouldn’t understand, but once she got older, I will personally tell her my story so she could be precautious when she’s ready to date.
“She can stay, but I’m not ready for you to hear this conversation. So whenever you get older and ready to start dating, we have a sister date, and I will tell you. So for now, I want you to get your tablet and earphones and tune us out, okay?”
“Okay, Bre,” She said without any questions. She trusted me, and I knew she would still trust me when I told her my story. She grabbed her backpack, took her tablet out, and went over to the couch. Once she had the earphones on, she gave us a thumbs up and focused on her screen.
“So, what’s up?” Wayne said, eager for the details that would probably put a hit on Jemar’s head.
“Promise me, first. No judgment or getting hot-headed,” I said as I put my pinky up.
“Promise,” Quel said with her pinky up. Eric looked at Wayne, and Wayne sighed while putting his pinky up. Everybody’s pinky was up.
“Well, I guess I should start at the beginning,” I said and took a deep breath.
∞∞∞
“So….you and Roon?” I asked Quel. I was curious or more so nosey to know what was up with them. And we needed something else to talk about after everything I just told them. I decided to be honest, entirely honest, and share my story. I could tell that they were pissed, especially Wayne. After I told them what occurred a few months ago and what led me into early labor, Wayne and Eric went to get some fresh air. I knew telling the domestic violence part would piss them off, but I was ready to get this shit off my chest. I wasn’t doing it as a w
ay to get revenge on Jemar, his karma would come on its own time. They took everything pretty well, for the most part, even Raquel. She seemed supportive and even cried when I went into details about Jemar admitting to hating me. I thought sharing my story would push us apart, but it seemed to bring us closer. I was grateful for them and wished I was as open and honest before we got here.
“Nothing. So you and Ricky…” She teased—typical Quel. I shook my head.
“Nothing. I made him Janelle’s godfather.”
“Mhm, that’s it? The way dad told us how he saved you and stayed around when he had a flight to go catch doesn’t sound like nothing.”
“I’m not in a mental or physical space to date. And I’m damaged goods. No dude would want me.”
“What’s damaged goods?” Alexis asked. I forgot she was in the room since she was so quiet.
“It’s when something good gets damaged to the point that no one would want to buy it or want it for free,” I said.
“Nobody wants you? Then I’ll take you,” She said as she walked to me and laid her head on my shoulder.
“Awww. Thank you.” I said as I felt a tear drop down my face.
“She’s not damaged goods, Lex. She’s just dramatic as usual. I think she forgot her worth and needs us to help her remember who she is. Let’s see, she’s beautiful. Super intelligent. Can be funny at times. Oh, she can dress, especially when she takes stuff that I accidentally leave behind. She has a big heart. Hmm, what else?” Quel said.
“Ummm, she’s nice. She’s a great big sister and best friend. She’s a great cook, especially when she makes my favorite chocolate chip cookies!” Alexis chimed in.
“She makes the best cookies! And she’s very forgiving although she tends to forgive everybody, except herself.”
“And she’s a great aunt and doesn’t mind doing things when she’s not required to,” Wayne said as he walked in with Eric behind him.