by Amber Monroe
“She keeps all your secrets and puts you in your place when you try her,” Eric said as he walked closer to the bed.
“She’s going to be a great mother because she was built for this, and God didn’t make any mistake when making Janelle her mom.” Quel added.
“And she’s going to be a great woman because everything she’s been through only made her strong. And that’s how I raised her.” My mom said as she walked into the door. We all were shocked to see her. I didn’t even know they told her, but surprisingly I was happythat she was here. I was ready for the healing part of my life and was glad I was starting with her first.
29. Aretha
Two Hours Ago….
“Who is it?” I yelled through the door. I hated unexpected guests, and anybody who knew me knew that. I just got off from working a double, and I was ready to relax. I had the house to myself since Alexis was with my mother, and Eric was where only God knows. Probably working since that’s all he’s been doing lately.
“Lovebug.” I heard a soft voice say. Lovebug? There was only one person who went by that name, and that’s because I gave her that nickname when she was a little girl.
“Lovebug?” I said as I snatched open the door and was shocked to see what was standing in front of me. Kourtnee?
“Hey, big sis!” She said. I placed my hand over my mouth, and my eyes started to get misty. This can’t be. I’ve heard through the grapevine that she was back around, but nobody actually told me she was really back. I looked at her from head to toe, she looked the same and was till the same. Kourtnee was gorgeous and was the most exotic looking one out of all of us. I was always told I resembled LisaRaye. I didn’t see it, but everybody else did apparently. Kourtnee was stunning and could’ve been a model if she would’ve stayed on the right path. I always thought she reminded me of Beverly Johnson’s daughter, Anansa Sims. Growing up, Kourtnee was on the skinny, but curvy side now she has gained some weight, and it looked good on her. She looked healthy, happy, and remorseful.
“Lovebug!” I screamed and pulled her into a big hug. I was probably squeezing her death, but I didn’t care. I missed my baby sister and was so happy about her return.
“I know, I know.” She whispered into my ear when she heard me starting to break down.
“I tried to keep the kids from him, but mama wouldn’t let me keep them.”
“I know, but it’s okay. He’s gone now.” She smiled as she ended our embrace. I was probably the only person who knew her secret and the reason why she started to get out of control. We promised to never talk about it again, but if something was to happen to her: I would take care of her kids. I always felt guilty for not keeping that promise. But I really had no say because we never had it in writing, and the court saw that our parents were a better fit since I already had four kids at the time. And I couldn’t come out and say how my father was a monster without having proof. Kourtnee was the only proof, and nobody would believe me.
“Let’s catch up,” She said as she grabbed my hand, kissed it, and led us into the house.
∞∞∞
“So that’s where I’ve been. I’ve done a little soul searching. And I’ve been clean for about two years.” She concluded. I was at a loss for words because it was a lot to take in. However, I was as emotional as hell. I couldn’t believe after everything Kourtnee been through, she still was the same loving person I raised her to be. My mother may have birthed her, but Kourtnee was my baby, and she knew it.
“Wow, Lovebug, I can’t believe you’ve been through all that,” I said as I wiped my eyes with a tissue.
“I know me either. But I’m still here. So, obviously, He still has a plan for me, and I hope my kids are a part of it. I missed them so much.”
“They missed you too. Especially Keisha, she doesn’t think I know, but she used to write a letter to you and stick them in my mailbox whenever she came here to visit. She did it right after you left up until she was about thirteen. I don’t think she knew how the mail system ran, but I kept the letters if you want to see them.”
“I would love to! That’s my baby right there, I know she acted like she didn’t miss me, but I felt her crying out for me. I wanted to come back so bad for them, but I wasn’t in the right mental space to take care of them.”
“I know, and that was a sacrifice you had to make to get yourself together. They turned out alright, for the most part. Kiara is in college, Keisha is super smart, Kamille and Kalliyah are apart of so much in school, they have tons of awards. And your baby boy Keshawn is an old soul with a loving heart like yours. Mama did a good job.”
“I know she did. I saw them a couple of days ago. And as much as I’m still angry with her, I can’t overlook the fact that she took care of my babies after I just dipped.”
“Yeah, but that’s the past. You’re back, and things are different.”
“Much different. Everything seems fine, but my baby Keisha is gone to Atlanta to raise my grandson with Charlotte’s noman ass.” She said. I burst out laughing.
“You mean, Mormon?” I laughed.
“Noman. Mormon. Stuck up, bitch. Same thing.” She smiled. It crazy to hear her say that since Charlotte never treated her badly like the twins did.
“You are crazy!”
“And I have pills for that.” She joked.
“Well, make sure you take those, but you’re going to need it after being around this crazy-ass family. Hell, we all may need to take pills.”
“Girl, tell me about it. But I’m not worried about the family. I just care about my kids and my first grandbaby! And I don’t care if I’m a thirty-three-year-old grandma, I’m going to own that title. Just wait until Keisha comes to visit with him. I’m spoiling him to death.”
“I bet you are, you’ve always wanted all boys.”
“I know, but I’m grateful for my one. However, I wouldn’t mind trying one more time for another one.”
“You’re still young enough, but who will be the daddy?” I questioned with my eyebrow raised. One thing about Kourtnee was that she could keep a man whether she wanted him or not.
“Girl, I heard you don’t even need them anymore to conceive, well at least not to have sex with them. I don’t mind getting my eggs fertilized with a random donor. You know, I don’t know how to pick ’em anyways except for Keisha’s father.”
“Daniel was a good one. I don’t know how you let that getaway.”
“I didn’t. His pickled head ass mama ruined that. The nerve of her to think I trapped him, Daniel wanted Keisha. He wanted a baby by me and even wanted to marry me. Hell, we were engaged. Still are in my eyes since we never ended the engagement.” She snickered.
“Girl, bye. You’re going to marry him in heaven or something?”
“I wish. Rere, I feel bad, awful, and that’s why I’m glad Keisha is not around right now. It wouldn’t be good for her pregnancy, but I have a secret that involves her. I just found out myself, so it’s not really my fault that she doesn’t know.”
“As much as I want to ask what it is, I’m not because you know my relationship with Keisha, and I don’t want to be in it. Whatever it is, just promise me that you’ll tell her as soon as you can. Shit, I have my own shit with my child that I have to fix one day. I can’t have my favorite niece hate me too.”
“Hate? Rere, what the hell are you talking about? Is this about Bre being pregnant?”
“How do you know? Uh, don’t answer that. I know you have your ways.” I smirked.
“Sure do, and I heard how things played out with y’all. I’m not going to judge, but you were wrong.”
“Kourtnee!”
“Look, I’m just being honest, and you were! She was only sixteen, and you sent her right into the arms of the beast.”
“Well, she’ll see what I’ve been trying to tell her.”
“No, Rere. Listen to what I’m telling you. You. Sent. Her. Right. Into. The. Arms. Of. The. Beast.” She clapped.
“What are you sayi
ng, Lovebug?”
“I came across your sister, Cookie’.”
“Your sister too.”
“Allegedly...anywho that bitch was quick to tell me that her punk ass son Marco was cool with Bre’s boyfriend. And that he’s witnessed him abusing her.”
“Abusing her?”
“Yeah, sis. I know you were trying to teach her a lesson or something. But sometimes those self-made lessons make shit way worse. You need to reach out to her, she needs you.”
“Abusing?” I repeated again. I didn’t completely let my baby go, I had ways of keeping tabs on her through Kingsley, but he never told me anything like that. Last I heard she was fine and due any day now. I mean, Kingsley told me she was staying with him for a while, but he never said anything that would make me concerned.
“Rere, I know it’s not your fault, but it’s time to forgive your baby girl and bring her home. You know I know what it’s like to have one of my kids hate me. Kiara still hates me and probably will always do. Fix shit before it’s permanent.”
“I don’t know how,” I said as I started to cry. Did I really push my baby into the hands of a beast? Who was Jemar? Who did my baby really fall in love with?
“I know-how. Kamille told me before I got here that Bre had her baby yesterday.”
∞∞∞
I was probably outside of Bre’s room since I saw Wayne and Eric standing outside then walk in. I waited about five minutes until I found the courage to walk in myself. I honestly didn’t know how she would take seeing me or if she would welcome me. So, I listened to my kids as they stood around Bre, offering encouraging words and knew this was my moment to come in. I walked in slowly and took a deep breath.
“And she’s going to be a great woman because everything she’s been through only made her strong. And that’s how I raised her.” I said and looked around at my kids. I missed them, and I missed moments like this, where we were all together.
“Hey, mommy,” Alexis said. I looked and saw her on the couch with her tablet in her hand.
“Hey baby,” I said as I walked over to hug her.
“Did you come to see the baby?” She asked, her eyes were lighting up.
“Yes, and I came to see my baby,” I said as I looked towards Bre. She was avoiding eye contact with me, and I deserved that. After the way I treated her, I’m not sure if she would ever forgive me.
“Come!” Alexis pulled my hand over to the nursery bed, where my newest grandchild was resting. She was making faces and moving her mouth as she slept. She was so beautiful.
“She’s gorgeous,” I said, never taking my eyes off of her.
“Pick her up, mommy.” Alexis encouraged. I felt the room tense up and looked at Bre to see if it was okay. Her face was hard to read, and I was scared that my unknown presence was too soon.
“May I pick her up?” I asked.
“Sure, just wash your hands first.” She said nonchalantly, but not mean. I smiled, placed my purse down on an empty chair then walked to the sink to wash my hands. After I finished drying off my hands, I went to pick up my grandbaby. As soon as I picked her up, she started to stir in her sleep, but instead of crying, she looked at me. I snuggled her and saw a little smile on her face. I don’t know what came over me, but I burst out crying.
“I’m so sorry.” I cried out. I started to put the baby back in her bed and grab my purse. This was too much, and I felt like I wasn’t even welcomed. And I had nobody to blame, but myself. I caused this rift in my family and made my kids feel uneasy around me.
“Don’t go, mama.” I heard Bre call out. I stopped my tracks and slowly turned around to face her.
“I don’t want to make it tense in here. Y’all were having a moment, and I ruined it. I’m sorry. I just heard the news that you had the baby and thought it was time I apologized. However, I don’t think now is the time. Just call whenever you would like to talk. Congratulations, I know you’re going to be a great mom.” I cried then walked to the door.
“Mom, please stay!” Bre yelled. I stopped once again. I heard shuffling behind me then felt a hand on my back when I turned around it was Bre with a soft look on her face.
“You shouldn’t be up,” I said I could tell she was in a little pain.
“I’m fine, I’m supposed to move around a little.” She half-smiled.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. I was wrong.” I cried and leaned my head on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry too, mommy. I was wrong too, and I hope that you could forgive me.”
“No, I hope you can forgive me. I’m sorry for how I treated you. You made one mistake, and I took it too far. I should have never put you out and forced you in the real world like that. I should’ve talked to you, listened to you, and made it work.”
“There’s a lot of things that we could’ve done differently. But none of that matters anymore, all we can do now is move forward. That’s if you want to…”
“Of course, I want to. I missed you, and I don’t want to miss any moments with my new grandbaby. I just want everything to go back to normal...for all of us.” I said as I looked at my other kids standing around watching us.
“We want that too, mommy,” Raquel said as she walked over and hugged me on my side.
“Yeah, mama, we all want that,” Wayne said as he and Eric walked over.
“Me too!” Alexis said as she wrapped her little arms around me. Lord, thank you for giving me a chance to make things right with my kids. Thank you for allowing them to be so forgiving, especially Bre. My Bre. I pray that we fix things and get our relationship back to how it was. I really hope we do.
30. Bre
It felt so weird, but yet so good to have my family surrounding me. I felt the love, I felt the support and forgiveness. My mother and I had a long way to go, but as long as she was willing to try, I was willing to try as well. My dad eventually made it back after moving my things out of Jemar’s apartment and came to check on the baby and me. Chianne said she would come through after my family left because she wanted me to spend so much needed time with them. My mom was currently hogging Janelle in her arms as my siblings and dad surrounded her on the couch, just overlooking and admiring the new baby.
Knock-knock
“Come in!” I said, hoping that Chianne came through early. I was missing her, and she was a part of this family too since we grew up together. However, it wasn't my bestie, but it was Roon and Mikayla coming back to visit. I can’t lie and say I didn’t miss this chemistry between Mikayla, Wayne, Roon, and Quel. I don’t know what kind of brother/sister exchange was going on, but it was kind of cute and weird.
“Hey, Bre. They told us that you already had a room filled, but I wanted to drop off these gifts and balloons.” Mikayla said as she walked in and over to the baby. She placed the pink gift bag on the floor while Roon brought the balloons to the little table by my bed.
“That’s so sweet of you, but I’m over here, sis.” I laughed. I guess I gotta get used to that now that Janelle has stolen the show.
“My bad. I’ve just had baby fever ever since laying eyes on her.” She said. My mother took the hint but gave Kay the look that said, “Wash your hands before you touch my baby.” Kay took the sign and quickly walked over to wash her hands. My mother got up to meet her halfway then handed the baby off to her.
“Let’s go get some food, Kingsley. Want to come, Alexis?”
“Oooh, can we get some cookies?” Alexis said as she jumped up from the couch.
“Only a couple. We’ll be back, y’all.” Mama said as she, my dad, and Alexis left out.
“Can I babysit?” Mikayla asked. I could tell that she was really feeling the whole new baby.
“Umm, you can come to visit whenever you want,” I said. I liked Mikayla, but I didn’t know much about her. When she was around when we were little, we never really hung out, and she just randomly came back around. I didn’t mind her coming to visit, but I wasn’t leaving my baby around her.
“Oh, yes,
definitely, that’s what I meant.” She smiled. Then she went back to looking at Janelle. Seconds later, I heard her crying. What the fuck? I thought.
“I’m sorry. Moments like this always get me so emotional. I hope to experience motherhood one day.” She sniffled. Roon and Wayne walked over to her, but she turned into Wayne. Roon didn’t seem bothered, but it did seem a little awkward. Lawrd, these fools need their own story, so I soak up somebody else’s drama besides my own.
“Awww Kay, one day, sis. You have plenty of time, and you need someone to put a big rock on your finger first. Or at least fall in love.” Quel said as she walked over to her and rubbed her back. Mikayla handed Janelle off to Quel.
“I already did.” She mumbled, but we heard her. And I think I know who she was talking about. And he did too because he put his arm around her.
“Aunty!!” Asia and Ariana said they burst into my room, running towards my bed. Whew, chile! This is probably not about to be pretty. And I was right, because Aniyah came right in after them and looked at me with a smile, but that smile turned into a mug once she saw Wayne all close to Kay.
“Oh, did we interrupt something?” Aniyah said, mugging hard on Kay. I mean, she just walk in and didn’t even know what was going on. However, nobody could miss that baby bump she was sporting.
“My kids didn’t, but you did. How you get access to Bre’s room?” Wayne asked.
“I was already in the hospital, on my way out when I saw your parents headed to the cafeteria.”
“What were you doing here?”
“I had an appointment for our child,” She said, rubbing her stomach—this bitch.
“Go head with that bullshit. We both know that’s not my child.”
“We both know what went down a couple of weeks ago.” She smirked.
“And you’re already showing? Make that make sense,” Mikayla added. Wayne looked at Kay, and she mouthed, sorry.
“Bitch, please mind the business that pays you.” Aniyah shot.
“Bitch? Hoe, I will beat your ass and show you the real bitch in me.” Quel jumped in as she walked over to Aniyah with Janelle in her arms. Roon came behind her, trying to stop her.