Curious Obsession

by Elora Ramirez

  “Jasper.”

  He looks at me and hands over the note. It doesn’t take long for me to recognize the handwriting. My fingers start shaking as I read.

  You know I can’t tell you where Juniper is — but she’s safe and sound. I bet you can’t find her.

  “He was here.” I twist my head around the living room, expecting something to give me some type of clue. I look at Jasper, already up and rummaging through the mess left behind by the forensics team.

  “He was here,” I repeat, looking at the note and then back at my bag. “He put this in my bag. He was…” the tears start falling then and Jasper turns back toward me and is by my side in an instant. He gathers me in his arms and places his hand behind me head, pulling me close.

  “I know,” he whispers. “I know.”

  This whole time, I didn’t understand. I knew Juniper was alive because I felt her like I always do right beneath my ribcage. And then the notes started showing up and I thought maybe it was just some stupid prank her students were pulling or that there would be some type of logical explanation for why they kept showing up but now I’m not so sure.

  Now I’m beginning to see the severity of her not being here next to me.

  Now I know that I have to find my sister.

  If I don’t find her, now I know he’ll kill her.

  10

  I’m frozen on the couch. I can’t think, can’t move — I lose track of who is coming and going. I can’t grasp anything. It’s like I’m in a tunnel with images that blur into fading light. I’ve never been this terrified before — this shaken. From the time I left the cottage with Jasper to take a walk until the time we came back for the forensics team, it couldn’t have been more than an hour. Which tells me two things: he was watching me, and he’s efficient at what he does. This is what stops me in my tracks. Juniper is the most vigilant person I know. Her efficiency is rooted in preparedness. For him to have caught her off guard means she knows him. I close my eyes against the nightmare and pray that somehow, I’ll wake up in my loft sweaty and shaky and laughing at the horror of this dream.

  Jasper gives Morty the note and they inspect my purse, just in case. I watch them inspect the stitching and turn the purse inside out, cringing a bit when they pull at a loose thread.

  That’s a 500-dollar purse, I think to myself.

  I might be in the middle of a nightmare, but I have my limits.

  Dan returns to the house and looks at me for an extended amount of time before sitting in front of me on the coffee table. He’s reading me. He’s trying to find a way to start the conversation.

  “I don’t bite,” I say.

  He nods and looks at his hands.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t listening to you before.”

  I glance up at him and then back down to my thumb circling my fingerprints, one by one. Mom used to grab my hands when I did this, telling me it was a nervous twitch. I breathe in tight and swallow.

  “I can’t lose her too.”

  I don’t bother with the apology. As difficult as it is for guys like Dan to apologize, I also know he’ll probably be an ass again in about 30 minutes.

  He sucks in his lips and looks out the window. The buzz of the forensics team is starting to slow down, and Jasper has come to sit next to me. I close my eyes and soak in his presence, a neutral energy.

  “So, it seems we were right. We have someone who is in it for the hunt.”

  I look up at him and pray he can’t see the way my heart rate just doubled.

  “What does that mean?” My voice struggles to find purchase — it lands softly against my tongue and I clear my throat. My pulse turns staccato.

  I hate this feeling.

  “We have no reason to believe Juniper has been harmed. But due to the pattern of notes we found written to her before her disappearance, we think he might have his sights set on you now.”

  “Okay, so we trap him. Right? Doesn’t that seem obvious?”

  Dan tilts his head, a compassionate gesture that I want to punch. His change in demeanor is unnerving.

  As if everything I was feeling about Juniper’s disappearance is actually true.

  The drumbeat turns louder in my veins.

  “Naturally, that would be the thing to do. You would think he would be easy to read.” Dan leans back and rests his hands on the wood. “The problem, though, is this person is calculating. He’s probably watching us right now and more than likely, is three steps ahead of what you are thinking.”

  “So what do we do?”

  “We wait.”

  My spine straightens in protest and I inadvertently grab Jasper’s knee with my fingernails. He gasps and shoots forward and I let go quickly.

  Oops.

  “We…wait?” I repeat, in disbelief.

  “It’s the only thing we can do. We still move forward with the investigation, but we need you to act as normal as possible. The threats, although serious with potential, are still pretty tame compared to what they can be — there hasn’t been any promise of physical harm.”

  I watch him, unmoving. I am once again in disbelief.

  Ah. Here’s the asshole I know and loathe, I think to myself.

  “And we’ll never be more than a few minutes away, just in case.”

  Jasper chuckles at this and I look to him for support. He’s still rubbing his knee where I left four indentions from my nails, but he’s shaking his head in disbelief.

  “So detective,” I say, feeling every ounce of sarcasm and fear in my words. “What does normal look like?”

  He looks at me and glances toward the forensics team packing up. When he finds my gaze again, I can almost see the hesitancy in his expression.

  “Well first, we’re going to organize a search party.”

  “A search party.”

  He nods, massaging the space between his thumb and pointer finger. “What we know now is Juniper is missing. He knows we know that. As far as we know, he doesn’t necessarily know anything else of what we’ve discovered….and it’s important that we keep it that way.”

  “You don’t think him dropping my sister’s ID on the other woman’s body is a particular tell we should be concerned about?”

  “Oh we’re concerned about it. We just can’t play our hand yet.”

  “But a search party is okay? How?”

  “Because you would expect someone to look for a missing loved one. You’ve asked around, but we haven’t really done any extensive searching for Juniper.” He pauses. “Right?”

  I nod. I showed up and immediately called him. I hadn’t really done any searching on my own.

  “So we’ll host a search party. See if we can get a bunch of people to show. Pay attention to anyone acting remotely suspicious or particularly bought into the ordeal.”

  He studies me and Jasper. “Whatever you do, though — don’t say anything about this case yet. Not to anyone. We have no idea who we’re looking at here….okay?”

  He waits a beat before dropping his eyes to meet my gaze. “Okay?”

  I roll my eyes. “Yeah. Whatever. I get it.”

  “I also need her ex’s number. What’s his name? Sam?”

  “Simon?”

  He points at me. “Yes. Him. We need to chat with him about their relationship and make sure there isn’t anything there we should be concerned about….”

  I stifle a laugh.

  “Simon is not the guy you’re looking for, Dan.”

  He twists his lip and stares out the window.

  “That’s what they said about Ted Bundy.”

  .::.

  By the time we leave the house, there is nothing that hasn’t been touched by the forensics team. I’m only allowed to bring my purse because it passed an initial inspection of good enough.

  And, bonus for me! I now have a security detail. Apparently I’m a risk.

  I roll my eyes when I see the tinted windows of the car trailing us in the rearview mirror.

  “That’s not discree
t,” I mumble.

  Jasper mimics my glance in the rearview mirror and frowns. “If he’s watching you, and we think he is, there’s no way he doesn’t see them trailing us.” He glances at me and then returns to focus on the street in front of him.

  “The offer stands, Lavender. If you need —“

  “I don’t need.”

  He nods, purses his lips, and I glance out my window. I’m done talking for the night and I’m definitely done interacting with people I’ve barely met.

  He breathes in, as if he’s about to say something else, and I close my eyes, willing him to stay quiet. I don’t begrudge him the hospitality, I’m just…spent.

  He doesn’t catch my cues. He continues his thought.

  “I’m not comfortable with leaving you alone tonight.”

  I sigh.

  “I’m a grown woman, Jasper.”

  “Yeah, and so is Juniper and she’s not here right now, is she?”

  I watch as his knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel.

  “No…” I whisper. “She’s not. But I’ll be fine. You’re dropping me off at the hotel. You can walk me to my room if you want.” I roll my eyes and motion behind us. “And these guys aren’t going anywhere any time soon, unfortunately.”

  His facial expression tells me he’s not convinced, but there’s no changing my mind.

  I need space. I need to think.

  And besides, there’s not much more I can do at this point. I’ve never felt so powerless before. Well, yes I have — but that memory lingers just below the surface and I refuse to let it lift.

  I clench my fists so tight that tiny crescents form on my palms. I watch as we move from Newport to Providence, the view turning from coastal to collegiate. By the time we reach the hotel, I’m exhausted. We get into the room without any issues. Jasper immediately moves to the window and shuts the blinds and curtain.

  “Who’s the discreet one now?” I ask, the sarcasm oozing from my tone.

  His lips are a permanent line of stress, and he says nothing as he prowls across the room, checking the shower and the closet. He catches my eye during one of his pass-throughs, and I raise an eyebrow while collapsing into the chair. He checks the lamps, the sheets, the chest of drawers. He checks to make sure the phone is connected. He checks behind pictures.

  Behind pictures?

  “Jasper. This isn’t Cabin in the Woods. You’re not going to find a double-sided mirror there. Can you just…it’s fine. You can stop. Seriously.”

  Satisfied, he stops in the middle of the room in with his hands on his hips.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m sure.”

  I’m not.

  “Do you promise to call me if anything happens?”

  “I will.”

  Not likely.

  He nods to himself for a few moments before puffing his cheeks.

  “Okay then.”

  I get up from the chair and walk toward the door.

  “Okay.”

  I open it. He walks past me and out into the hall, stopping for a quick wave before turning around again. I wave back, but it’s too late. He’s already around the corner. Breathing deep, I close the door and press my forehead against the wooden frame.

  What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

  I see the tears dripping off my chin before I realize I’m crying. I push away from the door, wiping the stray tears, and wish for something to throw against the wall that would shatter into pieces. I don’t want to cry right now. I want to thrash and fight. I want to see things break the way it feels as if I’m breaking internally.

  Instead, I opt for one of the pillows on the bed. One by one, I throw them against the wall with everything I have, my chest heaving with sobs. With each quiet thud, my frustration grows. I pick one off the floor and scream into the fabric, feeling my insides crack into a million shards.

  I cannot handle this grief anymore. No wonder I pushed Jasper away. It’s too much loss for one person to handle. I collapse onto the floor and curl up into a ball, letting the sobs move through my body. I think of my mom, broken beyond repair. I think of Jack and his promises of forever. I think of Juniper and the man who made her vanish into thin air.

  And when I can’t sob anymore, I think of myself and my tendency to run and I let out a guttural wail.

  This is pain I cannot get away from no matter how hard I try. I close my eyes against the memories, but they’re too vivid. They take me under.

  .::.

  The day my mother died, I was at a guy’s house. Thad was five years older than me, and I thought I was tough shit catching his eye. We met, of all places, at the movie theatre. I had gone to see a show with my friends and he was there, checking tickets and directing us to the correct theater.

  When he handed me my ticket torn in two, his fingers grazed my own and he winked. Never in my life had I felt the level of electricity that coursed through my veins when he touched me.

  I was a goner.

  During the movie, I acted like I had to use the restroom and walked out to find him standing right where I left him. I completely forgot about my friends, spending the rest of the movie talking.

  “Aren’t you with friends?” he said.

  I shrugged. “This conversation is a lot more interesting than the blood and guts they wanted to watch.”

  “Oh yeah? Are you a rom-com girl?” He smirked and I wanted to lick the smile off his face.

  “Indie.” I looked him in the eye. “Rom-coms are fake.”

  He didn’t need to know he actually read me pretty well: my friends and I argued for hours before I finally gave in because at least I wouldn’t have to be in the house pretending to do homework.

  “So…what’s a guy gotta do to get your number?”

  I smiled, and with confidence I didn’t realize I had, I reached for his pocket.

  “Give me your phone and you’ll find out.”

  We spent all night texting. I never considered it odd that a man in his 20s would want to hang out with a teenage girl. Juniper, ever the wise one, told me it would only lead to heartbreak, but I refused to listen.

  “Really, Lavender. It’s so predictable, it’s pathetic. He only wants you for one thing.”

  Of course, that infuriated me, and so I stopped talking with her for the first time in our lives.

  She got concerned by my silence. When my mom picked up on the ice between us, she cornered Juniper — the one who could never tell a lie. She told my mom, which resulted in me being grounded from everything for the rest of my teenage life, so said mother.

  “Really, Lavender? A Thad?! Out of all the boys you fall for — you fall for someone named Thad?!” She grimaced as I rolled my eyes. “Do I need to spell it out for you why this is a bad idea? I didn’t even have to know his age to know this would be catastrophic.”

  Juniper was horrified that she was pressured to tell my secret, and was determined to make it up to me despite her disapproval of my relationship with Thad. So like any red-blooded teenager, I rebelled against the punishment handed to me and snuck out one night to meet him at his house. I turned to Juniper, in our room studying for a test.

  “He has a surprise for me, Juniper. Can you cover for me? Please?” I crawled into bed with her and snuggled close, desperate.

  She sighed. “Seriously, if you can’t figure out what surprise he has for you then maybe y’all deserve each other.” Her eyes widened. “Just this once, Lav. Promise.”

  I kissed my index and middle fingers and held them toward her so she could do the same, our secret handshake since we were five.

  “I’ll be back before you know it,” I whispered as I crawled out of our window.

  “That’s what I’m afraid of,” she called after me.

  He was waiting for me in his car when I got to the street. I still remember that feeling of dropping into the passenger seat and driving down the highway toward his place with the windows down and the heat of spring wash
ing over us. I felt alive. Free. It lasted only a moment.

  When we got to his place, I knew immediately I was in over my head. It was a secluded area of town and he was the only one home.

  “Where are your roommates?” I asked, suddenly nervous.

  “Oh, they knew we needed some time so they left for a few hours.” His voice was melodic — I realized too late he’d been drinking and was silently thankful we didn’t get into an accident on the way there.

  When he kissed me and I tasted something foreign on his lips, I knew I was dealing with more than alcohol.

  “Come on,” he said and I fought from making a face at the smell. “Let’s go inside.”

  His house only had one bedroom where both of his roommates stayed. He stayed on a pull-out couch in the living room.

  “It’s just for now though,” he said as he caught my gaze lingering on the sheets haphazardly fit around the cushions. “I’m on the waitlist for an apartment in another part of town.”

  He walked into the kitchen and grabbed spritzers from the fridge. I took one from him and pretended to drink, knowing full well the way my stomach was flipping on its side I would regret drinking anything other than water.

  He looked at me for a few seconds before taking his hand and grazing my cheek with his finger.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  I blushed.

  His hand moved down my arm and thumbed the space in between my crop top and skirt. I felt the skin prickle despite my uncertainty. He gave me that smirk of his that at one time won me over and pressed his hips into my own so I could feel him. I swallowed as he started kissing my neck, making noises as he pulled me closer to him and pushed us up against the wall.

  I pushed him away, trying to act coy by running my fingers along the zipper of his hoodie.

  “So what’s my surprise?”

  He pulled me close.