“Tracey. We’re always running into each other, aren’t we? Do you know if Principal Stahl is in today? Or is he missing again? You would know, right?”
Her eyes widen just enough I know I’ve reminded her of our conversation the other day. I rub my tongue along my teeth, grateful for the ability to side step her. This time. I take a sip of my drink and feel the fizz run down my throat. I close my eyes and sigh.
I’m also grateful for caffeine.
34
When I think about that night, I will think about all of the ways I should have seen it coming. I don’t know why I ended up staying. I promised Simon I would only stay late if Jasper was with me, but that also meant I would be home alone.
At least being alone in my classroom meant other people were most likely here working? At least for a little bit. Still. I remember thinking it was safer than my house.
I hadn’t heard from Silas in almost 24 hours and the silence gave me too much confidence. I wasn’t as hyper-vigilant as I normally am. I should have texted Jasper. Met him at a coffee shop for a co-working session. I should have called Lavender instead of sending her a Marco Polo. I should have broken my agreement with Simon and texted him to come sit with me. I should have done a lot of things, but instead, I sat at my desk and pretended not to hear the noises that were slowly making their way closer to me.
I tried to tell myself it was the custodian, knowing we had a few who worked overnight with the security guard. At first, it was. He came in the the classroom and I startled him.
“Oh. Sorry. I can come back — I didn’t realize you were still here.”
“No! No. It’s fine. Come on in. I’m just….finishing up.”
Another body this close felt comforting. Safe. Even if I wasn’t entirely sure whether I was allowing my fear to get the best of me or tapping into a very real intuitive hit of danger being imminent. I talked myself out of it so many times. Surely I couldn’t be in danger.
Not me.
Not now.
I tried to tell myself it was the tree knocking against the window next to my desk. Too afraid to actually get up from my desk, I wondered if the teacher’s lounge was unlocked and what it would look like if I just stayed overnight on the couch.
That would take walking down a dark hallway, though.
But so would me leaving.
I turned on my lamp, hoping more light would make it less foreboding. It only cast more shadows than before and I couldn’t shake the feeling in my body that something was coming.
Or someone.
When I finally decided to leave, I had my keys in between my fingers like we do. Makeshift claws. I’m guessing I thought I could use them as a shank if something happened.
But what I didn’t know is that someone had been watching me, toying with me, the entire time. I almost made it to my car. I remember seeing it in my vision and feeling a deep sense of relief.
I made it.
But then, I didn’t. I never got there. Instead, my keys fell from my hands and I was overtaken by a familiar scent. I heard him laughing under his breath before anything else. By the time I turned my head, my fist poised to strike, he had me. The last thought I had was one of Lavender, and her thinking this was all her fault. I hoped she knew there was nothing she could’ve done. I hoped Simon would be able to tell her how much I loved her. And then, despite how much I attempted to fight, the blackness took over and there was nothing.
Like a mouse in a game, I had completely underestimated the cat toying with his prey.
Lavender
35
We walk out of the hotel and I can barely feel my limbs. I have no idea what he gave me, but it’s made me loopy at best and completely reliant on him to keep moving at absolute worst. I look around me, trying to find one familiar face, but there’s no one. The sun is blinding and I have to squint against its ferocity when we cross the parking lot.
“You’re not…you’re not….”
I try to speak but his hand grabs my arms and squeezes tight. The vice makes me breathless and I inhale, trying to breathe through the pain.
“Youcantgetawaywiththis.” I throw all of my words into one gasp as he pushes me into the passenger seat of the car and leans his entire torso in after me, reaching for the seatbelt. He pauses for a moment, staring at me.
“It would benefit you to stop talking,” he says. I give him a snarl, at least that’s what I’m thinking I’m doing to my face, but I have no idea what it actually looks like.
His eyes brighten, delighted.
“Just like Juniper. Beautiful when spicy.”
I bite my tongue and taste the metallic undertones of blood. I want to fight. I want to kick free and run across the parking lot to safety. I want to know if Jasper is okay.
I think about the perverted since of reality this guy has and it makes me wonder what he believes about the situation. Now I have a face for the one terrorizing my sister — and know what he did to Simon — the lengths he went to try and separate them. Even still, I can see how Jasper and I played into his hand. Just like them. I remember Simon’s words and a chill rushes through me.
“During those last few days we thought we were three steps ahead of him, but in reality, he knew everything. He knew every move. He’s a master. He’s done this before, Lavender.”
The seatbelt clicks into place and he runs a finger down my arm and I lean my entire body away from him, trying to avoid his touch. It doesn’t work. Whatever he gave me has completely disconnected my brain from my body. I can think and process and know exactly what’s happening, but I can’t do a damn thing about it.
It’s terrifying.
A single tear falls from my cheek and he notices, wiping it with his finger and then bringing it to his mouth.
“You sister does the same thing, you know. Cries as a way to get my attention. As a way to prove her love and devotion to me.”
He straightens and adjusts his belt and I glance away with just my eyes, my head now stuck in his direction. He laughs then.
“Don’t worry, my love. We’ll have plenty of privacy later.”
I send as many subliminal signals as I possibly can to Dan and Simon, begging them to hurry and find us. What no one knows is that before Simon and I got off the phone, before Jasper came and interrupted our conversation, he told me he was going to drop something off at the front desk of the hotel.
“Please trust me, Lavender.”
I told him I did, but only because Juniper trusts him, and I trust her more than anyone.
“It’s not going to look like much, and that’s on purpose. Just stick it in your pocket and find a way to discreetly pull the sticker off before throwing away the paper."
It was a tracker. I knew it. I picked the envelope up from the front desk and knowing I was being watched, made a show about pulling the paper out of the envelope and reading it, smiling as though it were a secret message. I took my hand and scratched my neck, and then slowly, almost imperceptibly, I slipped the tiny piece of sticker backed by metal into my pocket when I was thanking the front desk clerk.
It was our ticket — our escape. I only hoped it worked.
Silas shuts the door and walks over to his side of the car and gets in, starting the ignition. I open my mouth to try and speak and nothing comes out. He’s timed it perfectly. We’re not even out of the parking lot before the darkness takes over and I am completely gone.
I’m coming, Juniper, is the last thought I remember.
Jasper
36
I opt for cheeseburgers and milkshakes for lunch, knowing Lavender will probably want comfort food. Either that or she’ll take one look at what I got for us and decide that she can’t eat because she’s too worried, nervous, embarrassed because of the kiss.
God, that kiss.
I pull into a parking spot at the hotel and close my eyes, leaning my head against the steering wheel. I’m falling for her. No — it’s not actively happening anymore. It already happened. I am on the
ground, struck dumb by this woman, completely enamored with Lavender Reese.
Damn.
I’m…in love with her?
Maybe. I don’t know. Possibly?
What are you doing, Jasper.
I suddenly remember a conversation I had with Juniper before the school year began. She was talking with me about Simon, and I was completely enamored with how she absolutely glowed whenever his name left her mouth.
“How did you know?” I asked her.
She looked at me, confused.
“How did I know?”
I nodded.
“Yeah.” I drew a circle in the air around her face. “This whole vibe you have going on right now? Total love. Endgame type shit.”
Her eyes brightened. “Oh. Yes.” A small bit of laughter escaped and she scratched at a spot on her neck. “Um. I know it’s cliché. But I really did just….know. From our first date, actually.” She shrugged and gave me a small smile. “He was - is - it for me.”
I groan against the steering wheel again and hit it with my hand a few times.
Impeccable timing, Jasper. As always.
I take a deep breath and compose myself while gathering the food and drinks and make my way to the hotel room. As I walk through the doors, I hear something behind me. Turning my head to look over my right shoulder, I see a man helping a woman into their car. She says something to him, I can’t make out the words, but she sounds feisty. I laugh as he leans in and drops a kiss on her forehead. I pause though as he turns and faces me.
That look…the smirk.
My blood runs cold as I turn my body to get a better look in the car. I drop the bags of food on a bench nearby and struggle with pulling out my cell phone. I call Lavender.
No answer.
I call her again.
No answer.
I forget about the food and run up to the hotel room, begging my imagination to be working overtime.
Please answer the door, Lavender.
“Lavender! Lavender - answer the door. I’m serious. Lavender. Lavender this isn’t funny.”
A head peaks out from a room across the hall and I ignore the stares. I’m about to shoulder through the door when I feel my phone vibrate and I look down. It’s Dan.
I answer it and continue to pound on the door, my prayers hitting the ceiling and falling around me, my emotions warring for control.
“Dan.” I say.
“Listen, Jasper - I need your help.”
“Dan,” I repeat. He goes quiet.
“Jasper. What is it.”
I stop pounding on the door and pull my shirt up to wipe the tears that have fallen. I kick the door out of anger this time, knowing there’s no one in the room now. Knowing she’s gone. Knowing he has her and I just missed them and if I would have gotten out of my car one minute earlier, I would have seen him. I could have done something. I kick the door again.
“He has her. He has Lavender.”
Lavender
37
I wake up and I’m back in San Francisco. Juniper and I are at the beach with our friends and there’s a bonfire. We’re sitting next to each other for warmth, fighting over a blanket that’s about two feet too small for the both of us.
We can’t stop laughing.
Juniper turns serious then and I look at her.
“What is it?”
She looks at the ocean for a bit, and I can tell she’s nervous.
“I think—I think I need to move, Lav. All I’ve ever known is this,” she motions between us as if it’s a bad thing and I shake my head, not following. “I need to find out who I am on my own.”
I adjust myself so I’m able to fully face her and not be shoulder-to-shoulder.
“I don’t understand.”
She turns to mirror me, and I am once again taken by just how much she echoes my own being. Looking at her, I see who I am in completion.
“I’m moving, Lavender. I found a spot on the east coast.”
I start shaking my head, afraid to accept this harsh truth that runs cold down my body. It doesn’t feel good. It feels dangerous. We’re Lavender and Juniper. We come as a set. We’re not meant to be separated. I tell her this and her eyes widen.
“That’s just it, though. I need to know that I am my own person. Don’t you want to know that for yourself?”
The tears are falling and I can’t make them stop. My hands are frozen in front of me so I can’t even wipe them off my cheeks, I just sit there, staring at her, unable to move and unable to believe the words coming out of her mouth.
“You’re breaking us,” I whisper.
And then before she can respond, her eyes grow wide with disbelief. I follow her gaze. It’s Mom. She’s walking toward us, her hair flowing in the breeze behind her. I stare at her, shock running through my body. How — how is she —
“Mom?”
She walks up to us and kneels in front of us and suddenly it’s just us three and we’re in a tiny basement that’s cold and sterile. The walls are a musty blue and the fear radiating off Juniper and myself is thick.
“My babies,” she says, pulling us close to her. I breathe in her scent and am immediately transported to a time of safety and knowing and certainty and magic. We collapse against her chest, each of us sobbing. She kisses us both on the crown of our heads and then leans back so she can look at us.
“You need each other now,” she whispers.
We look at each other. What does she mean? Of course we need each other. We always need each other.
“Juniper’s moving though,” I manage in between sobs. Mom rests her hand against my cheek and smiles in understanding.
“Give it time. You both will know just how much y’all mean to each other. Lavender, you can’t run anymore. And Juniper, my love. Stop hiding.” She stands up then, slowly backing away from us. An ethereal glow surrounds her and she slowly fades into the ether. Juniper and I start wailing, reaching for her, desperate to have her back. We grab onto each other, the mirror of our individual pain, and let the other bear the brunt of our devastation. We melt into each other then, becoming one and our tears become the sea, surrounding us with waves cascading in the rhythm of our pain.
.::.
It’s the crying that wakes me up. I open my eyes slowly and for a moment, I’m disoriented. All I see is a blinding light positioned right above me. Slowly, I come into awareness. That was a dream. A dream of when Juniper told me she was moving and then — Mom.
Mom visited us.
I take a breath and let my eyes focus, looking around me. I recognize the room as the one in my dream and realize either I’ve come in and out of consciousness or something very supernatural just happened. With our mom, either way could have worked.
And then why I’m in this room fully sinks into my bones.
Silas.
I go to wipe the tears from cheeks and realize I can’t move and that my skin is dry. It’s not me crying. It’s someone else. I can hear the sniffing to my left and I try and move my head without success. I know this sound. I grew up with this sound.
I open my mouth and try to speak for a few moments before sound comes out as a squeak first, and then words.
“Juniper? Is that you?”
My voice is raspy and I hear a small gasp.
“Lav-Lavender. Yes. It’s me. I’m here. Ohmigod, I thought you would never wake up.”
I do blink away tears then, growing emotional from hearing her voice and knowing she’s still alive. I smile and know we’re going to be okay. We’re together now.
“Well I can’t believe you lied to me about Simon.”
She laughs then, a tiny hint of her joy, and it washes over me like balm.
“So he told you.”
“He loves—.”
“No,” she interrupts me, her voice getting almost too quiet to hear.
“Not now,” she says, even quieter. And I understand. I can’t talk about it here. Not with Silas.
I grow quiet.
She sniffs.
“Lavender —“
I talk over her.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. It was good. She visited us and we were here — in this room. She told us we needed each other.”
I hear her crying again.
“I’m so sorry,” her voice is broken.
I blink.
“Why? For moving here? Juniper, I get it. I do.” I can feel the emotion building. “I didn’t at first — it pissed me off. But I get it. You have nothing to be sorry for —“ my voice dims and I think back on that night so many years ago. The decision that led to Mom’s death.
“If anything —“
“—I killed Mom, Lavender.”
There’s only silence.
“Wait, what? No. No.”
“I know. I’m horrible. I was pissed and angry because you went to the movies with Thad and she knew it and was trying to make me feel better and went to go get ice cream….”
“Juniper.”
“If she hadn’t left—“
“JUNIPER.”
She pauses.
“She left to come get me. She had to come get me. Thad-Thad raped me that night. I ran. I ran, and called her, and she was on her way to get me.”
A small whimper grew into a muffled sob.
“Thad raped you?”
I breathe deep.
“Yeah. Yeah. And I called Mom totally beside myself and she didn’t even hesitate. Grabbed the address and said she would be right there. And then she never showed.”
“Ohmigod,”
I wince.
“I know. It wasn’t — it wasn’t ever your fault. It’s mine, Juniper. I killed Mom. I was so selfish and I didn’t listen to you and —“
“No, no. Lavender. Stop.”
We both grow quiet then, thinking about the revelations we just shared. The weight we’d both carried for so many years.
Curious Obsession Page 25