“Wow,” I sniff. “We’re both really, really fucked up aren’t we?”
She laughs then, and I hear her trying to catch her breath through the tears.
“Don’t ever run to Mexico without me again,” she whispers.
“Yeah, well don’t ever move across the country, bitch.”
We both laugh, and it feels good. I can feel Mom.
“She’s here with us, isn’t she,” Juniper says. I smile.
“Look at you, witchy twin. Who even are you?”
“Apparently someone who pulls tarot cards now. I don’t even know.”
“Wow. You’ve changed.”
“Having a stalker does that to you.”
Silence again.
“Where is —”
—I don’t know. He left a while ago. I was awake when he came and dropped you off and I’ve been sitting here, waiting, hoping — we have to get out, Lavender. We have to get away.”
I think for a moment.
“Are my hands tied or am I still drugged?”
I tried to send awareness down to my wrists, but nothing pops up. I must still be drugged.
“Your hands are free,” Juniper confirms. “But you’re tied down like me and wearing a gown.”
“I’m wearing a gown?”
“Yeah.” She clears her throat. “These are…um….our wedding gowns?”
I choke and she hums.
“I know,” she says.
But I’m not thinking about him changing me into a fucking wedding gown. I’m thinking of him changing me. Taking off my jeans.
My jeans with the tracker.
“Hey, Juniper?”
Before she can even respond, we hear a roar from another room and the tumbling of footsteps down the hall.
She whimpers and I cringe.
“Nevermind,” I whisper. I think he found it.
38
I watch both of you, and I can’t believe my good fortune.
Finally.
I have you.
Juniper and Lavender.
I can see you laughing, your eyes squinting in the same way, and joy rushes through me. Both of you are so happy — so free now that I have brought you here. It’s going to be us. Forever.
I cannot wait for it to truly begin.
But for now, I let you have time to reconnect and I resist turning on the volume to listen in, knowing you need a bit of privacy.
I grant you that one thing, but the entire time I watch the curves. Juniper rolls like the ocean, but Lavender is still choppy, trying to embody herself again.
Soon, those curves will be against my skin. My hands will know what it will feel like to possess two pieces of perfection at the same time. I salivate at the thought, and force myself to break away from watching you to focus on something else just as important.
I text my dad to let him know I am working late again and he tells me how proud he is — how hardworking I am.
He has no idea.
I smile and look at the setup that’s gotten me through to this moment. Monitors line the wall and it’s like my favorite show I won’t ever have to stop binging. At any moment, I could tap in and watch both of you. Until now. Now there’s no need, because I have you. I look at the monitors and the different areas I have surveillance going until I see movement. My eyes catch on something and I lean in.
Simon.
I bite the skin on my thumb and feel the blood break through. What is he doing? Why is he still here? Doesn’t he know Juniper doesn’t love him anymore? He looks around and then what happens next has me standing up quickly, the chair rolling backwards and crashing against the wall.
It’s Jasper.
“What the fuck?” I whisper.
I watch as Jasper walks up to Simon and shakes his hand and I shake my head. I almost had him. When I came home I noticed he was at Juniper’s place. It was the perfect moment to catch him by surprise. I gathered my tools - conveniently disguised weapons of singular destruction - and walked out the door, but by the time I crossed the short distance, he’d already left.
I’d stood in Juniper’s living room for a solid three minutes, trying to figure out where the hell he’d gone.
I had to have missed him by seconds.
I came back then, rewinding the tape and trying to figure out what spooked him. Enough time had passed that he had to have known Lavender was already gone from the hotel. I watched as he walked around, looking for something, and then walking out the back door. I fast forward the tape a few minutes. He pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and answers the phone call. I stop the tape then and lean in as if I can hear, but remember the speakers I impacted into one of the lights had been taken by the feds. I hit the desk in front of me with the palm of my hand and wince. But then he does something that has my blood running cold.
He looks at the screen of his phone once, confused, and then realization crashes into his facial features. He keeps talking, clearly getting more animated.
He just found something out. He freezes, listening.
And then, he looks right at me.
Or rather, right at the camera, which is in the direction of this house. The small abandoned rental no one ever notices because it’s in an alley way. I sit back in my chair and watch.
What did you find out, Jasper?
And who called you?
That’s what I’m doing now, trying to figure out what’s happening. I’m pulling at the hair in my eyebrows and I know I won’t have any left by the end of this. I move to my lip, plucking the dead skin around the edges, and move my attention back to Simon and Jasper.
Why would they be together? What would they be doing?
“I won, bastards. What game are you playing?”
Dan pulls up then, parking next to Simon. He gets out of his car and walks up to them and I lean on the table, not believing my eyes. I’m on the edge of my seat but this is not the show I’m wanting to watch. This is a nightmare. A horror film.
Simon pulls something out of his pocket. It’s something tiny. Metal. Realization dawns.
I put my hands in my hair and back away from the computer as I see Jasper clap his hands together, clearly excited about something and Dan putting up his hand to calm him down.
They found me.
But how?
I’ve been so careful —
And then I remember Lavender, that bitch, saying something about me not getting away with this. I think about fucking easy it was to catch her by surprise and bring her back here. I turn around, my breath quickening, and pull at her clothes.
No no no no no no no no no no…..
When I find the matching chip that Simon is holding in the feed, the betrayal hits me like a knife. I scream and punch a hole in the wall.
And just like that, the ax falls and the love I had for these two has turned into hate.
Jasper
39
Dan drops a string of profanity and starts screaming at his team.
“We need a SWAT team over at Juniper’s house. Now. Now.”
I’m leaning against the door now, waiting for direction. Once I hear where he’s going, I turn and start running down the hall.
“Jasper, how quick can you get to Juniper’s?”
“I’m already on my way.”
“Okay. Simon will meet you there and fill you in on what he’s been doing.”
I hang up before he can say anything else and am on the road, food completely forgotten, within minutes. I dial Simon’s number and he answers on the second ring.
“Hey.”
I swerve to pass a line of cars and ignore the honking.
“Hey. I’m on my way to Juniper’s. Are you there yet?”
“No. But, Jasper - ”
“He has Lavender, Simon.”
Simon grows quiet.
“Simon?”
He sniffs and I can tell he’s not saying something.
“Simon, so help me - ”
“I knew he would take her, Jaspe
r. I-I planted something on her to help us track in case this happened, but I knew it was only a matter of time.”
I hit the steering wheel so hard I bruise my palm.
“What the fuck, Simon.”
“He has Juniper too, you know. You can’t forget that.”
I laugh, the anger rising in my chest. “So you figured you would give him two for one?” I know most of my anger isn’t directed at Simon. Not really. But his carelessness feels incredibly short sighted.
“We were supposed to protect her.”
“We are.”
“We were supposed to keep him from taking her, too.”
“That wasn’t an option. This was always his plan. As soon as she landed here, as soon as he saw her, she was a mark. And he’s too smart, Jasper. It was either lose both of them completely or try and play his game. And we have him. We just have to be smart about it.”
I pull in to Juniper’s driveway and get out of the car, slamming the door behind me.
“I’m here,” I growl. I’m pissed. I don’t care what their plans were for saving Juniper, I don’t like that Lavender was used as bait. I walk into the house and pace the living room before the energy is too much - too volatile. I run out to the back so I can watch the waves crashing on the shore. Right now, the chaos of the ocean is just what I need to bring me back to center. At one point, I think I hear something and I turn my head, my ear pointed toward Juniper’s house. The noise stops, and I assume it’s her AC kicking into gear.
I thought I turned her AC off…
I walk over to the unit and realize it’s not on. I let my hand rest against the edge.
It hasn’t been on, either.
I frown and look around again, seeing nothing, and take my spot on her patio. The waves are whitecapped today because of a storm brewing off the coast. They whip and tangle with each other before crashing into the rocks on the shore. My heart begins to return to a normal rhythm.
It really is an incredible view.
My phone rings. It’s Dan.
“Hey. Are you there?”
“Yeah I’m here.”
I get up from my spot and start pacing, but the reception is bad so I walk inside to better hear him.
“Listen. We know who it is now. And he’s close.”
“Close?”
“He’s across the street, Jasper.”
I freeze.
“And he’s probably watching you right now. We know he has a massive surveillance system going.”
I throw my hand up into my hair.
“You’ve got to be shitting me.” I look around me and land on a spot on the wall. It’s a framed picture, but there’s something off about the framing. It’s…uneven. I stare at it for a moment until Dan’s voice breaks through and captures my attention.
“Jasper.”
“Yeah. Yeah I’m here.”
“You have to wait for my team. We’re almost there. I’m going to park in the driveway, but the team is parking out of sight so he doesn’t know what’s coming. You can’t just go banging down doors. I need to know you’re not going to do anything stupid.”
I hear gravel crunching underneath tires. Simon’s here.
“I won’t do anything, Dan. Just…hurry. Please.”
I hang up with Dan and walk out to meet Simon as he’s getting out of his car.
“Jasper.”
“Simon.”
He shakes my hand and looks around, his eyes resting on a worn down rental in the back of an alleyway. My blood runs cold.
“That’s where he is?”
Simon turns and looks at me, nodding slightly. I stare for a moment, every fiber of my being wanting to do something stupid as Dan would say.
Simon clears his throat. He doesn’t want to say anything, because he knows I’m still pissed.
“I’m still pissed,” I say.
“I know.” He responds. “Have you spoken with Dan?”
“He should be here soon.”
Like clockwork, he pulls up next to Simon’s car. When he walks up to us, all three of us look at each other and take a breath.
“This is it boys.” He mutters. He takes off his sunglasses and wipes them clean. “My team is taking their places as we speak. I cannot stress this enough - you have to let them lead.”
Simon and I nod. My hands clench into fists at my sides.
Dan looks at Simon.
“Are we still connected?”
He nods, pulling something small out of his pocket.
“It activated this morning, right when she picked it up in the lobby. I don’t know if it’s still on her person, but it hasn’t been found yet. Or destroyed.”
Dan nods.
“Good. Good.”
I point, my finger shaking.
“What is that - is that - is that a tracker?”
Dan and Simon’s silence tells me everything I need to know. I run my fingers through my hair again and pace to control the wild energy coursing through my veins.
We’re almost there.
We almost have you.
You’re almost safe.
Hang on, Lavender, I beg. We’re coming.
40
I run into the room where they are being held and hold the chip in front of Lavender.
“You bitch. You betrayed me. What the fuck is this?!”
The intimacy is gone. In front of me is a stranger. The betrayal runs deep.
She watches me for a moment.
“Hello, Silas. It’s nice to see you, too.” She looks down at the dress I had lovingly placed her in just a few hours before. “Thanks for this great gown, by the way. Juniper tells me we’re getting married?”
Rage runs through me and I spit in her face and grab her by the hair, wrenching her neck in an awkward position and getting so close to her face I can see the way her skin dimples and folds in a slightly different way from her twin. Two completely different cartographies from the same country and I won’t ever be able to discover them now because of my disgust. It makes me angry all over again and I pull Lavender’s hair and feel satisfaction when I hear her grunt under the pressure. Juniper cries out behind me and for a moment I remember her — you — the original portrait of perfection — and begin to question everything. Is it worth this anger?
But then I see Lavender’s lips curl into a half smile and she raises an eyebrow.
“What are you gonna do? Kill me?” Lavender whispers so quiet only I can hear. “They’ll get here before you can do anything.”
She tricked me.
How can something so close to you go so wrong, Juniper? How can you be so perfect and she be so…not?
I let her go and watch as she tries to collect herself, her hands clumsily crashing into her face as she slowly comes back to life under the drugs. I walk over to you and get close enough to smell your breath. Your eyes grow wild under my study and I smile.
I will miss you.
“I make you nervous, don’t I? You’ve never seen me angry.”
“I don’t—I don’t know why you’re angry. What happened?”
I take the chip and run it down your cheek and then walk behind you, making sure I have Lavender’s attention.
“It seems your sister decided to turn against us, Juniper.”
I watch Lavender’s face, looking for any clue that she knows. She gives away nothing. She stares at you instead.
“I have no idea what he’s talking about. Is this normal? Does he do this all the time?”
She looks concerned and I see your chest bounce with quickened breaths. I press up against you, reminding you of my presence.
“You see, Lavender — to answer your question, I could kill you. But that wouldn’t be any fun. I wouldn’t be able to see you squirm under the grief and devastation of watching what you love the most fall away from you.” She starts shaking her head, realizing what I mean — what my intentions are. I pull my knife from my pocket and run a small trace across your collarbone.
I catalog
ue your whimpers into my brain to obsess over later.
You are so, so beautiful when you are in pain.
“It’s such a shame, too. The beauty you two possess takes my breath away. I dare say you’re even perfect. But I just can’t get over the betrayal.”
Blood begins to trickle from the cut and I am struck for a moment at just how much you look like art. Red streaks running into the white gown, puddling and turning into something pink and splattered.
Lavender kicks and sputters in between Juniper’s cries.
“Juniper. Juniper, I’m so sorry.” She turns to me. “You monster. What are you doing?!”
I smile and take the knife to the other side of your collarbone.
“Well, right now, I’m making art of your sister. Don’t worry. You’re next.” I look up and wink and Lavender grimaces and avoids my gaze. You are gasping under the pain and I’m having to do everything I possibly can not to take you right here, right now.
Ohmigod seeing blood is such a high.
“You tried so hard, you know that, Lavender? I have to give you and Simon credit.” I pull out the chip again and let it dangle, frozen on my finger, before dropping it on the floor and stomping on it.
“What…is….that?” Your voice comes out uneven and I can see your skin has turned even more porcelain. I imagine you are only a few minutes from fainting from loss of blood. I’m about to answer you, but I hear something in the distance and I pause, knife posed mid-air.
It’s helicopters. Helicopters and a lot of sirens.
Shit.
Fuck.
Lavender starts giggling when she realizes what it is and she looks at me and attempts to spread her hands wide but instead, still under the influence of the cocktail I gave her, they fall at her side.
“Lavender?” You mutter and then go quiet. I feel you give next to me and I look down, seeing that you’ve finally given into the loss of blood. Instinctively, I place my finger at your pulse point and feel a slight flutter underneath my skin. I lean down to kiss you.
You’re here, but barely.
“JUNIPER!”
Lavender bucks and kicks, throwing threats my way of what she would to do me if you died. I stop listening. I know you won’t die. But not because of any weakness on my part. As much as I love you, I couldn’t reconcile your sister’s betrayal and there was a large part of me that planned on doing away with both of you. That is, until I knew there was a better way.
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