Taking Her Place

by Jean-Luc Cheri

  I stared at him. Other than the extra weight he’d put on, he looked pretty much like the old Julian I knew. Even his eyes were more alert than usual. When I put the butter in the refrigerator, I saw that the three six-packs of beer that’d been in there yesterday were gone. Had he drank them or threw them out? Based on his clear eyes, I guessed it was the latter. If that were true, it was a good sign.

  I began mixing the sauce, and he asked me if he could help, so I assigned him the task of making the salad. Soon, the sauce was simmering and I got the water ready for the noodles.

  “That smells good,” he said, standing beside me as I poured some salt into the water.

  “It’s Mom’s recipe,” I said. “She got it from her mother.”

  “No wonder it smells familiar. Cheryl used to make it all the time.”

  “Mom used to always say to us girls, ‘Your grandmother always told me, keep your man happy at the dinner table, and he’ll always come home.’”

  He gave me a smile. “I heard a slightly different version from Cheryl.”

  I looked at him curiously. “What do you mean?”

  “Cheryl told me that the night before we got married, her mother sat her down and told her that keeping your man happy at the dinner table wasn’t the only thing her grandmother had taught her.”

  “Oh?”

  “Your mom told Cheryl that it’s also important to keep your man happy in the bedroom.”

  My eyebrows rose. “She did?”

  He smiled again. “Yes. I guess she’s saving that advice for you until you get married.”

  “Well, that would be kinda gross, coming from Mom. I don’t even want to think about her and Dad doing that.”

  “Well, they did it at least twice.”

  “La-la-la-la. I’m not listening.”

  “And he always came home, so I guess she was doing something right.”

  I held up the stirring spoon in his face. “Okay, buster. That’s enough.”

  He grinned and licked the spoon. “Mmm, that’s good.”

  Chapter 7

  The spaghetti dinner was delicious, if I do say so myself, and Julian enjoyed it too, going back twice for extra helpings. I realized I wasn’t helping his weight issue, but I was dealing with one problem at a time.

  After dinner we sat on the couch and talked, and when I asked him about how he and Cheryl first started dating, he opened up like a faucet. I’d already heard most of the story from my sister, but Julian filled in some surprising details I hadn’t been aware of.

  “We obviously knew each other all during high school,” he said, “but for some reason we never got together. Either I was dating someone when she was free, or she was going steady when I was free. And I was a little intimidated by her. She always seemed so above it all.”

  “She was intimidated by you too,” I interjected. “She told me that.”

  “That was mostly because of my reputation. Stories tend to get overblown the more they’re repeated, but trust me, I hadn’t done most of the things people said I did.”

  “Such as?”

  “Well, for one thing, people claimed I had sex with the Shipley twins at the same time.”

  “Did you?”

  “Not at the same time. Well, the truth was I asked, and not only did they turn me down, they both cut me off completely for suggesting it.”

  “What else?”

  “There was a rumor going around that I had sex with one of the teachers.”

  “Did you?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “What does not exactly mean?”

  Well, she said her car wouldn’t start, and asked me for a ride home. When we got there, she asked me to come in for a cola or something. Next thing I knew we were naked in her bed. We were just about to do it, when the garage door began to open, letting us know her husband was home. We quickly got dressed, and she told me I had to jump off their back deck. I nearly broke my leg doing it, and then limped back to my car.

  I grinned. “So it sounds like these rumors have a grain of truth to them.”

  “Maybe. But once Cheryl and I got together, no one else mattered but her.”

  “You’ve never been with anyone since?”

  “No. And never even had the desire to.”

  I nodded. “That’s sweet. So how did you two get together?”

  “It was the Sadie Hawkins dance. As you know, the girls are allowed to ask the guys to that one, and I was asked by Kelli Brandis, one of Cheryl’s cheerleader friends. We’d been dating for a while.”

  “I remember her. Red hair. Big boobs.”

  “Yeah, that’s her. And Cheryl came to the dance with the guy she was dating at the time, Allen Wilcox.”

  “What a jerk he was,” I said. “I was around ten at the time, with short hair, and every time he came to the house he’d make fun of me, asking if I was a boy or a girl.”

  “I remember your short hair. I always thought you looked cute that way.”

  I smiled. “Thanks. So what happened at the dance?”

  “Well, things were going along normally, and the dance started winding down. Then I noticed that Kelli wasn’t around, so I went looking for her. I ran into Cheryl, who was also looking for her date who’d gone missing. So we teamed up, both of us realizing this probably wasn’t a coincidence.”

  “Sure enough, we found them in the wrestling room under the gymnasium stands, screwing each other’s brains out on one of the wrestling mats. They were so into it they didn’t hear us come in, and we stood there and watched them for about a minute.”

  “Finally, I stepped forward and was about to say something, when Cheryl grabbed my hand and pulled me from the room. She then said, ‘Do you want to get even with them?’ I knew exactly what she meant, and I agreed, so we got in my car and headed up to Simmon’s Point, where we almost hurt each other in my back seat. It was so good, we never looked back, and were together ever since.”

  “You did it that night?”

  “Yes, why?”

  I smiled softly. “That’s not how Cheryl told me it happened. She said you two were at the dance with two other dates, and you asked her to dance. And as you danced together, she knew right then you two were destined to be a couple.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. And she told me you didn’t actually ‘do it’ until a few months later.”

  He smiled. “I guess she was giving you the big sister version.”

  “So it really happened the way you said it did?”

  “Every word. I’ll never forget that night. Changed my life forever.”

  “So the sex was that good?”

  “It was amazing. Up until then, sex had only been physical. But with Cheryl, it was much more than that. Almost like our souls were joining along with our bodies. It’s hard to describe.”

  “I’m a little envious. It’s always been just physical with me.”

  “You’ll meet your special guy someday. Trust me.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  “And whoever he is, he’s going to be very lucky.”

  I gave him a curious look. “What do you mean?”

  “Look at you. We’ve already determined you look like Cheryl did at your age, and I obviously thought she was beautiful. So yeah, the guy that gets you is going to be one lucky dude.”

  I smiled wide. “That’s so sweet of you to say.”

  “It’s the truth.”

  “How about you?” I asked.

  “What about me?”

  “There’s a lucky girl who’s going to get you someday.”

  He shook his head. “I’ve already been lucky enough to find my girl. I can’t expect to be that fortunate twice in my life.”

  “So you’re just going to spend the rest of your life alone?”

  He shrugged. “Probably.”

  I wanted to tell him how stupid that was, and that he should be getting over my sister and finding someone else. But I knew the progress we’d made so far was be
cause I’d been here for him to talk to, not because of me lecturing him. Hopefully, he’d eventually realize he was wrong on his own.

  I decided to try a slightly different tack.

  Chapter 8

  “Can I ask you a personal question?” I said, sitting next to Julian on his couch.

  He glanced at me. “How personal?”

  “You can refuse to answer if you want.”

  “Okay.”

  I chose my words carefully. “It’s been a year and a half. That’s a long time for a guy to… you know.”

  “I’m not sure I do.”

  “To, um… go without sex.”

  His eyes widened slightly. “Beth!”

  “What? I’m just asking. Because I saw the… you know… under your mattress.”

  “The magazines?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought this up.”

  He paused for a moment, and I thought he was going to tell me to mind my own business. But instead, he said, “Yes, there’s a physical need. But that doesn’t translate into wanting to be with someone. Just thinking about that makes me feel guilty. Like I’d be cheating on Cheryl somehow. So the magazines are just for the physical need.”

  “It makes me sad to think about you all alone and doing that.”

  His gaze met mine. “What? Are you trying to claim you don’t do that? I’ve heard that most women your age do.”

  I felt the hot blush on my cheeks. This conversation wasn’t supposed to be about me.

  “Um, that’s different.”

  “Why is it different?”

  I realized I didn’t have an answer. “I’m not sure. Maybe we should change the subject.”

  He smiled. “You’re blushing.”

  “I’ve never admitted to doing that before.”

  “Doing what?”

  “You know.”

  “Touching yourself?”

  “Yes.” My cheeks felt like they were burning.

  “Not even to any of your boyfriends?”

  “God no. That would be so embarrassing.”

  “Were you intimate with them?”

  “Some of them.”

  “And you still couldn’t share that secret?”

  “No. Did you tell your girlfriends in high school?”

  He thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. The only one I felt comfortable sharing that with was Cheryl.”

  “You told her you touched yourself?”

  “Yes.”

  “While you were dating?”

  “Yes. There were times we couldn’t get together, and I’d touch myself thinking about her. Later, I’d tell her all about it.”

  “She wouldn’t get upset?”

  “Not in the least.” He paused, then added, “And then she’d tell me about how she did the same thing.”

  I stared at him in surprise. “My sister did that?”

  He smiled. “Of course. Why would you think she wouldn’t?”

  “I don’t know. It just seems so… weird.”

  “Is it weird when you do it?”

  “No, but…”

  “I watched her do it many times. It was beautiful.”

  My eyes widened. “You watched her?”

  “Many times. And she watched me. We would do it together, and watch each other.”

  “Wow.”

  “It’s great. You get to see how the other likes to be touched. How hard. How fast. When to be gentle. When to be a little rougher. You can learn a lot by watching each other.”

  “I never considered that.”

  He nodded. “We loved it.”

  I stared at him, unable to get the images out of my head. In my imagination, I saw Cheryl and him in bed together, naked and pleasuring themselves. Her hand was between her legs, and his was wrapped around his stiff cock. It was so erotic to think about.

  Another thought occurred to me. Why was he telling me this? Why was he sharing the deepest sexual secrets he’d shared with his wife? Especially since she was my sister? What could be his reason for divulging this private information to me?

  Then it hit me. Of course. It made complete sense.

  What he was describing was a way to have sex without actually having sex. It was a kind of sex between two people, but it didn’t involve intercourse or even oral. Just touching yourself. And just touching yourself couldn’t be considered cheating.

  Was that what he was doing? He didn’t want to cheat on Cheryl, but he was willing to do that with me? And it didn’t hurt that I looked like her. He could probably touch himself while imagining it was his wife doing the same. Just like they used to do.

  It all made sense. He was telling me this as a way to ask me to do it with him without asking. That way, if I wasn’t interested, he could just deny he ever meant it that way. Or if I never picked up on his real intent, there was no harm done. He was just telling a story.

  “Beth?” he said, giving me a confused look and pulling me out of my reverie.

  “Huh? Oh, yeah, what were we talking about?”

  He smiled. “We were talking about what Cheryl and I used to do together. Of course, I shouldn’t be telling you this stuff, since you’re her sister.”

  “No, that’s fine. I like hearing about her. And what you two used to do together.”

  “Well, I won’t go into detail, for obvious reasons, but the sexual aspect of our lives was very important to us.”

  I nodded. “I could always tell. You two were always holding hands and touching each other in public.”

  “That’s true.”

  “So, this thing you did together – touching yourselves at the same time. I find it very interesting.”

  “How so?”

  “It’s like having sex, but really isn’t.”

  He nodded. “Yes, I guess you could describe it that way. At least how sex is normally thought of.”

  “It’s almost like cheating without really cheating.”

  His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, if a couple wanted to have sex, but didn’t want to cheat on their spouses, if they had one, they could do that instead.”

  He thought for a moment, then said, “I’m not sure a spouse would be understanding about something like that.”

  I nodded. “I’m sure you’re right. But what if the spouse isn’t around anymore?”

  “Not around anymore?”

  “Like, what if she’s dead?”

  He blinked. “Dead?”

  “Yeah, and what if her husband feels guilty about having sex with another woman, even if she’s not around anymore?”

  “I’m not sure what you–”

  “That would be a way for him to have sex without feeling guilty about it. It’s perfect.”

  “Perfect? Beth, what are you saying?”

  I met his gaze with mine. “I’m saying yes,” I said softly.

  He seemed confused. “Yes?”

  I nodded. “Yes. I’m willing to help you.”

  “Help me? How?”

  I smiled. “Come on, Julian. I know what’s going on here.”

  “That makes one of us. What’s going on?”

  “I know why you told me that story. About you and Cheryl touching each other.”

  “I told you it to make you less embarrassed about your admission.”

  “All I’m saying is, that I’m willing to help you take that step.”

  “What step?”

  “The step back into a normal sex life. I’m willing to do that with you, so that you won’t have to do that alone. I don’t care if you pretend I’m her. I understand.”

  “Beth? What are you saying? What are you willing to do with me?”

  I smiled. “Touch myself with you. It’s not cheating on Cheryl, and I want to help you.”

  His eyes went wide. “What?”

  “It’ll be our little secret. I promise.”

  He shook his head. “No, that’s not what I meant.”

  “
It’s okay. I understand.”

  “No, you don’t. I think you should leave.”

  I frowned. “I thought you wanted this. That’s why you told me.”

  “No, you misunderstood. You’re her sister. I couldn’t do anything like that with you.”

  “But I thought–”

  “Stop it! What you thought was wrong! I can’t believe you’re doing this. She was your sister!”

  I sat back, stunned. “But…”

  He stood. “I want you to go.”

  “Julian, please.”

  He reached down and took me by the arm, lifting me to my feet. He then moved me to the door and opened it.

  “Just go,” he said.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He shook his head but didn’t reply. Then he pushed me through the door and closed it behind me. I heard the lock latch.

  I cried all the way home, feeling so stupid for reading him wrong. I’d tried to help, but all I accomplished was screwing things up more than they already were.

  Chapter 9

  I spent the next week feeling miserable. How could I be so stupid to think that my brother-in-law, who was still grieving for his dead wife, would want me sexually? I was able to see myself through his eyes, and realize I was nothing but a dumb teenage girl.

  Mom asked me a few times about Julian, wondering why I wasn’t visiting him again. I brushed her off with lame excuses, not wanting to talk about it.

  But on Saturday night she cornered me while we cleaned up after dinner.

  “What’s going on between you and Julian?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “Nothing. Why?”

  “You were all gung-ho about going over there for a few days, and now nothing. What happened?”

  “Nothing.”

  “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “Mom, nothing’s going on.”

  “Well, whatever it is, you seem to have caused a change in him.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He called me this morning.”

  I stared at her in surprise. “About what?”

  “He asked if he could come over for Sunday dinner tomorrow.”

  My eyes gaped wider. “Why?”

  She smiled. “I told you he would eventually come out of this. He just needed time. And I guess you visiting him helped too.”