Written Into Love

by Joe Lechene

  After hanging up my towel to dry, I walked out of our bathroom and back into our room. As I took a pair of sweatpants out from the dressed, I realized that Tristan would probably need to move the stuff from his previous room into ours. This was going to take some major rearranging on my part. Not wanting to deal with that right now, I slid the sweatpants up my legs and headed to my office. After filling a mug with my morning beverage of choice, I sat at my desk and checked my email. When I was done, I opened my latest novel and picked right back up where I left off.

  Tristan came in the room shortly after and walked over to my desk. He picked up the almost empty mug and walked back across the room. When he came back over, he sat the now full mug back on my desk. I picked the mug up and took a sip of the hot liquid. He had prepared it exactly the way that I liked it, black with a little sugar. After sitting the mug down on my desk, I reached around his back and slid my arm as high as I could. Once I reached the bottom of his shoulder blade, I pulled the upper half of his body toward me until his face was in front of mine. Tristan met my lips half way and I thanked him with a kiss.

  Upon finishing the kiss, I looked into Tristan’s beautiful eyes. “Thank you, you didn’t have to that.”

  He responded, “It’s okay, you were busy and almost empty. I’m gonna try to finish this book before I go to work.”

  “That’s fine, I hope you like the ending.”

  He kissed me again before walking away from me. After picking the book back up from the table, he started reading it again. As Tristan sprawled out on the futon once again, I smiled and resumed writing my book. There were only a few chapters left and I wanted to get it finished today. It was going to take some getting used to, but I couldn’t have been happier now that Tristan was a permanent part of my life.

  …

  ‘Derek unpacked his bags into the dresser drawers that I had emptied for him the night before. It was going to be weird having the object of my years of dreams living with me. But, this was something that we both decided on together. His muscles rippled under the tight white t-shirt that he was wearing as he put his clothes away. Part of me thought that I was making a big mistake letting Derek move in. However, he seemed to genuinely love me and I wasn’t going to turn that down. If this was a mistake, then it was a mistake that I was willing to make.’

  XIII

  I returned home from walking Tristan to work. After last night, I was going to be with him every moment that I could. Instead of finishing the novel that I was working on, I turned to another project instead. A project which I dubbed, ‘move all of Tristan’s shit into our room.’ I wanted this to be a surprise for him and now seemed like a perfect time to do it. The first task at hand was to see how much shit Tristan really had.

  I walked into his old room and turned on the light. I immediately noticed a slight stench inside the room. I was surprised that I hadn’t noticed it in the hallway. The first thing that I found was the full hamper and clothes laying around it. Shaking my head, I gathered up his dirty laundry and carried it to the laundry room beside the guest bathroom. The laundry room was small, but I was extremely grateful to find a place with a washer and dryer. Going to a laundry mat was such a pain in the ass and I didn’t really have the time for it. Once I got his clothes sorted, I started the first load and went back to his old room.

  As I started to go through the dresser drawers, I quickly discovered that I was having a tough time distinguishing between Tristan’s clothes and Erik’s. All of his stuff was still in the drawers, semi-neatly folded. Erik had been just a little bit taller than Tristan, but their builds were roughly the same. It hadn’t occurred to me until this point, that Tristan was more than likely wearing Erik’s clothes. After thinking about it some more, the black hoodie that Tristan wore a lot was the one that I used to see Erik wearing.

  Trying not to think about it any more than I had to, I went back to our room and started condensing the clothes in my dresser. Luckily, it was way bigger than I needed to begin with and I was able to empty out about half of the drawers. Next, I put his clothes in the dryer and started the next load. Once I was back in his old room, I started going through the drawers again. Since I couldn’t differentiate which clothes were his, I just decided to move everything.

  It really didn’t take as long as I was thinking that it would. I didn’t even have any problems moving the clothes from his old closet to ours. The miscellaneous stuff that he had ended up on top of our dresser. I usually kept it pretty clean anyway, since the bulk of my clutter was in my office. Just as I finished moving the rest of his stuff over, I heard the dryer beep. I unloaded the dryer and threw the next load it in it. It was kind of weird hanging and folding his laundry, but I was getting the impression that this was something I would be doing more often.

  Once his clothes were put away, I walked back into his old room to see if I had missed anything. After looking around the room, my eyes fell on the one thing that I was trying to avoid. The urn containing Erik’s ashes was still laying on the pillow. Picking up the urn from the bed, I held it tight against my chest and walked into the living room. Picking Erik’s picture up, I dusted the shelf before replacing the picture and setting the urn beside it. I had been avoiding this side of the living room since the funeral. It was just entirely too hard for me to handle, especially by myself. Today though, I was holding it together rather well.

  Right after I turned away from the shelf, I decided that there was something that I needed to do. Spinning back around, I placed my hands on each side of the shelf. Looking directly at the picture in front of me, I tried to hold myself together.

  “Erik, I know that you gave your life protecting Tristan. You made the ultimate sacrifice for such a wonderful man. I would have done the same thing. Now it’s my turn to take over protecting him. I will love him and protect him until the end of my days. Just do me a favor, keep an eye on him when I can’t. Love ya man.”

  I wiped my eyes and went back to Tristan’s old room. After walking back inside, the strange stench that I had noticed before still lingered. The only thing that remained in the room was the furniture and his old bedding. I walked over to the bed and pulled back the comforter. The source of the smell immediately became clear. Tristan probably hadn’t washed his bedclothes in over six months. And, given his previous lack of showering, it probably only added to the filth. Knowing what Tristan had been going through, I didn’t pass any judgment against him. Instead, I stripped the bed and carried the bedclothes to the laundry room. Since the washer was free, I threw the sheets and pillows covers in and started the machine. Now looking back on this whole ordeal, this was something that I should have done for him months ago.

  Since I had accomplished my goal and the dryer wasn’t done yet, I decided to go to my office. After brewing a fresh pot of coffee, I started on my work again. There was still plenty of time left in the day to get a chapter or two written. Of course, that would be in between finishing my man’s laundry.

  …

  As I walked Tristan home from work, I was having a tough time not telling him what I did. I wanted this to be a surprise though and I didn’t want to spoil it. About half-way home, it dawned on me that I didn’t make anything for dinner. Suddenly wishing that Tristan would have gotten us take-out, I pulled my phone out of my pocket with the hand that wasn’t holding his. Finding the phone number for the pizza place that I called all too often, I ordered us a pizza. I noticed that Tristan looked and smiled at me while I was placing the order.

  I didn’t think that Tristan was going to object to my late dinner choice. There were many nights that I worked too late to make dinner. Pizza was always the next best choice. Besides, I was blessed with somewhat decent genes. Considering that I was thirty-two, 5’11”, and only weighing 150 pounds, I had the luxury of a high metabolism. Granted, I didn’t have the cut six-pack abs as my boyfriend had, but my stomach was still flat.

  As soon as we were back in our apartment and I shut the door, Tristan wrapped
his arms around me. He connected his lips with mine and pressed his tongue into them. I responded back, letting him have his way with my mouth. Still somewhat shocked, I relaxed into his embrace and wrapped my arms his back. This was still a lot for me to take in, but I was starting to get used to it. When he broke off the kiss, he moved back from me a little bit. Leaving just enough room between us for him to slide his hands under my shirt and up my sides.

  Looking into my eyes, he said, “I’ve been waiting to do that for nine, long ass hours.”

  “Oh really?”

  He slid his hands the rest of the way up my sides until they couldn’t go any further. His touch was sending sparks through my body. At the same time though, my man needed to shower and change. Besides, the surprise that I had planned for him was more important to me than anything else.

  “Tristan, as much as I hate to end this, our pizza is going to be here soon. And you, my man, need to get a shower.”

  He sighed and replied, “Ugh… fine.”

  He kissed me again before letting go and walking down the hallway. I watched as he walked past his old room and went directly into the guest bathroom. Tristan turned on the bathroom light and went inside, leaving the door open just like he promised. Soon after I heard the shower run, I took off my shoes and hung my hoodie on the coat rack. Just as I turned the tv on, the buzzer by the door started going off. I pressed the intercom button and the pizza guy announced himself. After pushing the other button to let him in the front door, I waited with the apartment door open for him. When he came to the door, I paid the man and tipped him. Shutting the door behind him, I took the pizza and sat it on the table. I set the seasonings and plates out for us. Then, I sat on the couch and patiently waited.

  I heard the shower turn off down the hall and footsteps walking back toward me. Then came the question that I was waiting for. Tristan shouted down the hall, “Ian, what the fuck? Where did all my shit go?”

  I got up from the couch and walked down the hall to find a confused Tristan standing in his old doorway. A white towel was wrapped tightly around his waist and some water droplets still remained on his back. I wrapped my arms around his stomach and pulled his back into my chest. The smell of his shampoo was still fresh in his damp hair. It was taking every ounce of self-control that I had not to just throw him down on the freshly made bed.

  Tristan tried to struggle his way out of my arms, but I held him tight against me. He quickly gave up, relaxing into my embrace. I heard him start to sniffle as he said, “Ian, did I do something wrong? All my stuff is gone, and the bed is made. The room looks like it did when we moved in. Please don’t tell me that you’re throwing me out. After everything,” sniffle, “that we’ve,” sniffle, “been through,” sniffle.

  This wasn’t exactly the reaction that I was hoping for. I slid my hand up his damp chest and neck until it reached his face, wiping the snot from his nose before brushing it off my pants. Returning my hand to his stomach where it had been, I squeezed his thin body. His stomach tightened as I squeezed, and his hard abs flexed under my grip.

  “Tristan, calm down and walk with me.”

  Not loosening up on my hold, I walked backward with Tristan mimicking my movements. Turning us so he now faced down the hall toward our bedroom, I pushed him along with me following. Once we were inside the door, I took my hand off him just long enough to turn on the light. I only wish that I could have seen his face when the room lit up. After looking at the top of the dresser, he tried to pull away from me again. This time though, I let my hold on him falter. Tristan darted straight to the dresser and began opening the drawers. Once he found the ones that contained his clothes, the tension that his face was showing immediately disappeared. After he had opened every dresser drawer, he went over to the closet. I smiled as he inspected every garment hanging inside it, whether it was his or not.

  When he was done, he came back over to me and wrapped his arms around my back. He buried his face into the side of my neck. I could feel more tears falling on my neck and shoulder. This time though, I was pretty sure that they were tears of happiness. Tristan squeezed me with more force than I thought that he had in him. As I started to have a hard time breathing, I tried to push him back off me. Although, Tristan’s grip seemed to be in no danger of letting up.

  I barely gasped, “You’re welcome.”

  His grip on me let up, allowing me to breathe again. However, Tristan’s hold on me remained. “Sorry, I didn’t realize that I was squeezing so tight. But, fuck Ian, you didn’t have to do this.”

  I started to respond, when he continued, “I mean, I’m glad that you did. I don’t think that I could have done this myself. I would have been bawling the whole time.”

  “I know, that’s why I did it for you. I didn’t get to the toiletries though. You’re on your own for them.”

  “I think I can handle that.”

  Tristan turned around in my arms and looked around the room once again. This time a lot slower like he was looking for something. “Wait, where did you put…”

  “It’s in the living room, on the shelf beside his picture.”

  He turned back around and faced me again with his hands holding onto my shoulder blades. Tristan’s teary eyes looked right into my eyes. Tristan didn’t need to say anything, I could tell how he felt just by the look on his face. He slowly closed the gap between us and wrapped his arms around my back. Placing my hands on the back of his head and shoulder, I held him tight against me with his chin resting on my shoulder. After a few moments, Tristan pulled his chin away from my shoulder and looked at me again. His eyes were red from crying and his cheeks still wet from the tears, but the look in his eyes told me that he wasn’t sad. In fact, I think that it was quite the opposite.

  “Ian, I love you.”

  After giving him a quick peck on the lips I replied, “I love you too, Tristan.”

  His hands slid down my sides until they were resting on my hips. “So…?”

  “How about we go eat before our pizza gets cold?”

  He pouted his lips before replying, “Fine.”

  Tristan put on a pair of shorts and we went back out to the dining room. Since I had everything prepared already; it was just a matter of putting our spices on and eating. After we ate half of the pie, I started to clean up while Tristan finished. I put the rest in the fridge and cleaned up the table. Just as I was looking for a movie to put in, Tristan walked up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my stomach and started rubbing my chest under my shirt. My interest in finding a movie to watch quickly ended when he kissed the side of my neck. Giving up on the plans that I already had, I started walking to the bedroom with Tristan still clinging onto me.

  Once in the bedroom, our clothes ended up spread out across the floor. Tristan’s oral assault on my body only intensified once we were in bed. Neither of us were in a hurry, we just wanted to enjoy the feel of each other’s bodies. We spent the next two hours rolling around under the covers. When we were finally done and both thoroughly exhausted, we rinsed off quick before going to bed. Tristan laid on his side tonight with me spooned behind him. He was using my one arm for a pillow while the other was wrapped around his torso. This was the first time that I had held him like this and it was extremely comforting. The feel of his back pressed against my chest and his legs interwound with mine was something that my best novels couldn’t even describe. I fell asleep holding the man that I loved in my arms.

  …

  ‘I held my lover throughout the night without falling asleep myself. Afraid that he would be gone when I woke up. We had been through too much to get to this point and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. The heat from his bare skin was enough to keep me warm even without the blanket that covered us. I kept my hand on his lower abdomen, running my fingers through the soft hairs that coated it. If there was indeed a heaven, then dying might not be so bad after all.’

  XIV

  As I walked to the restaurant to get Tristan from work, I foun
d myself thinking about our past month together. He wasn’t like any boyfriend that I’ve ever had before. He was kind, gentle, and extremely attentive to me. When he was home from work, Tristan would usually spend his time hanging out with me. If I was busy working, he would lounge on the futon. Usually reading one of my novels or playing games on my phone. I had tried to get him a new cell phone of his own, but he kept rejecting the offer. He didn’t see the point since he never went anywhere or needed to call anyone else. It was just a waste of money to him.

  Occasionally, he would leave me to my work and go watch tv or a movie. Since I now trusted that he wasn’t going to try to harm himself, I would let him be and have some space. Besides, he was still abiding by my rules even though we were together. His body was too nice to be covered up by long sleeve shirts and skinny jeans all the time anyway. Tristan’s attire at home was always a pair of shorts and a tank top, which was fine by me. Though, seeing the scars on his arms every day was a constant reminder of his painful past.

  I felt bad spending as much time as I did writing. However, Tristan was always supportive when he was home. He would refill my coffee, make sure that I ate, and even rub my shoulders. Whenever Tristan did have a day off from work, I made sure to spend as much time as I could with him. Our weekly shopping trip gradually evolved into Tristan filling the cart while I followed behind him. It was a welcome change though. I was just happy to see him taking more of an active role in our relationship. Besides, it was nice not having to force him to eat anymore. Although, he still didn’t look like he was gaining an ounce.