Last Girl Standing

by Lisa Jackson

  “Typical June,” he said.

  “How are things at West Knoll’s finest? You still living around here?”

  “My dad’s place.”

  “Oh, right. Somebody said you bought it?”

  “My dad died.” He looked past her for a moment. “Didn’t intend to stick around, but it was an opportunity.”

  Ellie wanted to turn and see what he was looking at and decided she would. If he was looking for somebody better, so be it. She didn’t feel like hanging around with him all night, either.

  “Mr. Timmons’s dad died recently,” he said as she glanced around. She realized then that he hadn’t been trying to look past her. Their conversation had cued him because of his own father’s death.

  “Oh. Maybe he’ll quit teaching.” It was rumored the Timmons family had money.

  “That would be too bad. I always liked his class.”

  Ellie had, too. Timmons’s classes in analytic geometry and calculus had been difficult, but she’d always been good with numbers. Strange that she’d forged a career in journalism, while Delta, who hadn’t shown any aptitude in math, had found work as a bookkeeper.

  “McCrae!” a male voice boomed, and he turned around slowly to see Tanner surging toward him. Tanner threw one arm around McCrae’s shoulders. “Come on back, man. We got things to talk about.”

  “See ya,” Ellie said, sliding away.

  “Don’t go away mad,” Tanner singsonged after her.

  Asshole.

  She walked toward the bar, ignoring him, kind of angry at herself for coming at all. It was hell without a date, and yet she wouldn’t have wanted to bring Alton even if she could. She glanced at Delta who, along with Bailey, was surprisingly talking to Amanda. God, to be a fly on the wall there! Despite being married, the Stahds sure weren’t hanging by each other’s side, so maybe bringing a date to this event wasn’t the end all, be all in any case.

  She moved toward Delta and Amanda but was beaten to their confab by Zora, who upon spying the two frenemies together had zeroed in on them.

  “. . . with Jimmy Dewars in that car accident,” Amanda was saying in her precise way. “They were high.”

  Ellie realized they had migrated to the Memory Table, a virtual shrine to all the classmates who had fallen since high school. Jimmy Dewars and Howie Tuttle had been the friends Amanda was speaking of who’d died in the car accident during their junior year. There was a picture of Jenny Worthers, too, who’d suffered from bone cancer and had succumbed to the disease, and another of Jacob Corley, who’d died in military combat.

  And of course, Carmen Proffitt.

  Ellie looked long and hard at Carmen’s picture, remembering the somewhat gangly girl who’d carried such a bright torch for Tanner Stahd. Well, they all had, really. Carmen’s had just been so blazing. But Tanner, who spread his love around with abandon, had never shown any interest in Carmen. Ellie suspected Tanner just didn’t want to get involved with her. Let’s face it. Any relationship with Reverend Proffitt’s daughter would have been a problem, not to mention that Carmen’s blatant adoration had bordered on a cult obsession.

  “You still think Carmen’s death wasn’t an accident?” Amanda asked Bailey. Was there censure in her tone? Ellie couldn’t tell.

  “No, she doesn’t,” said Zora.

  “I can speak for myself,” said Bailey.

  “Of course, it was an accident,” Delta broke in. “Carmen drowned. They were all reckless and stupid, and Carmen died because of it.” Her eyes drifted toward her husband, and her mouth tightened a bit.

  “Coming here brings it all back, doesn’t it?” Bailey said. “Hi, Ellie.”

  They had all sort of stepped back from the Memory Table and had somewhat reluctantly allowed Ellie to join their group. Nice of you all. Just like high school.

  Bailey answered Amanda, “Carmen saw something that night that she never got to tell me.”

  “Well, you’ve said that a few times.” Amanda smiled to take some of the sting out of it.

  “Something happened,” Bailey said. “And I think it changed the course of everything.”

  “What happened was my husband went under the rope, and all the rest of them followed,” said Delta. At that exact moment, another guffaw went up from the guy group, and Delta’s gaze turned back to them. Ellie didn’t much care for her, but she could sympathize. The guys seemed like they were having a bang-up time in that regressive “guy” way. They were boys still, and Delta was married to the ringleader.

  You had your thing for Tanner, too, don’t forget . . .

  She slid a glance toward them as well and witnessed McCrae extricating himself from the group, heading back to the bar. She watched as he ordered another.

  Amanda said to Bailey, “I saw you talking with Penske.”

  Bailey answered, “Yep.”

  Ellie’s attention swung back to Bailey at her short comment. She didn’t seem to want to discuss it.

  “You were talking about Carmen,” Amanda said. At Bailey’s nod, she added, “And your journal.”

  There was laughter hidden in Amanda’s tone. She really can be such a bitch, Ellie thought.

  Color crawled up Bailey’s neck at the snide inference. “I wrote down what happened, and I made some suppositions, some theories. Carmen didn’t kill herself. I was helping her out of the water when I fell in.”

  “Ever think you just have survivor’s guilt?” Amanda asked.

  “Penske was actually interested in my journal,” said Bailey.

  Amanda’s look said, Or was pretending . . .

  Ellie was tired of listening to them trade shots back and forth. “It was terrible what happened to Carmen, and we all still feel bad.”

  Another wave of laughter erupted from the guys’ group, seeming to belie her words.

  Zora looked over at them. “I should’ve never married Max.”

  That snapped all of their attention back to her, even Delta’s. That was probably Zora’s game plan, actually, as she loved being the center of attention, and it so often wasn’t hers to grab if either Amanda or Delta was anywhere around.

  Amanda said blandly, “Get a divorce. That’s what I did.”

  “You’re divorced?” Ellie blurted, surprised. Everyone else murmured their own shock as Ellie looked at Amanda’s husband. “But . . .”

  “He just came along tonight to piss me off,” Amanda said. “It’s what he does. He’s a leech. Always trying to get his hands on my parents’ money. Luckily, they left it all in trust for me.”

  Ellie almost objected. Hadn’t she married one of the firm’s partners? Amanda’s parents had moved away in the years following the barbeque debacle and a myriad of lawsuits placed against them. Upon a short and unsuccessful post-college stint in Hollywood, Amanda had enrolled at Willamette University Law School and currently was employed at Layton, Keyes, and Brennan, a downtown Portland firm where she’d met her husband, Hal Brennan, one of the partners. The firm was well known and defended some of the wealthiest clients in the state.

  “Aren’t you both lawyers?” Bailey asked.

  “Yes, but only one of us is a success.”

  Amanda made it sound like her husband’s credentials were dubious, at best, even though he was one of the firm’s partners. There’s a story there, Ellie thought. Young as she was, Amanda had been moving up the ranks in the firm. Ellie had heard her name mentioned at the station when one of the owners had employed their firm. She’d also heard some of Amanda’s coworkers refer to her as “Hollywood” in a pejorative way. She might be successful, but she wasn’t well-liked.

  “I don’t know if I could divorce Max,” Zora said, a little put off by the idea.

  “What about you, Delta?” Amanda challenged. “You ready to put that cheating husband of yours behind you?”

  Delta’s lips parted in either disbelief or shock, maybe a little of both, since Amanda could be seen as the fly in the ointment to Delta’s marital happiness. Ellie almost admired her. Amanda j
ust didn’t give a shit what she said.

  “Don’t have any plans to leave him,” Delta responded, once she’d recovered. “Marriage isn’t perfect for anyone, I guess. But we chose each other. I didn’t fake a pregnancy to get him to ask me.”

  The self-satisfied smile fell from Amanda’s face. “If you’re referring to me, I never faked that pregnancy. It was real.”

  “Okay.” Delta clearly didn’t believe her.

  “And the only reason he went back to you was because I miscarried, thank God,” Amanda declared, warming up. “So I got to have a life. What have you got? Tanner Stahd? Big fucking deal.”

  “I have Owen,” Delta retorted, regarding Amanda uneasily from what clearly looked like rage building inside her old rival. Ellie almost took a step back herself.

  “A Tanner mini-me. Hopefully he has a little more discretion than his father. Ask Zora, or Ellie . . .” She swept an expansive arm Ellie’s way. “Ask them what it’s like screwing your husband. They both know. Maybe Bailey does, too.”

  He wasn’t your husband then! Ellie immediately wanted to scream. It was all she could do to keep her mouth shut and stop from defending herself. Not so Bailey, who blurted, “I never hooked up with him!” and Zora, who cried, “That’s not . . . we didn’t . . . you’re such a bitch, Amanda!”

  “Agreed,” snapped Delta.

  Amanda merely shrugged. “I’m a truth teller. Some people have trouble with the truth.” She cast a hard glance at her husband, who seemed to be having a grand time talking to whoever crossed his path. She then looked at the guys’ group, her lip curling faintly. “Tanner’s a piece of shit, but so are all men, if you really want to know.”

  “Wow,” Delta said.

  “When did you become such a man-hater?” Ellie asked.

  “When I married one. That’s not to say they don’t have their place. I mean, sex isn’t the same without them, at least from my point of view, and Tanner still looks good. Not as good as McCrae, these days, but I’d do him again.”

  Delta inhaled sharply, and Zora muttered, “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.”

  Everyone’s gaze shifted to Delta, who stared at Amanda with a look of mixed horror and amusement before saying, “Maybe you should just go ask him. He’d probably oblige.”

  “Would he?” A small smile played at Amanda’s lips.

  “Oh, please, don’t fight,” Bailey murmured as Ellie held her breath.

  “Maybe I will,” Amanda said blithely. She set down her drink on the Memory Table, but it caught the edge of a stack of cardboard coasters with their “2005” graduating year imprinted on them and tipped over. Dark red punch raced toward the board of pictures. The bloody fluid immediately soaked into the cardboard edge and seeped into Carmen’s picture. Mesmerized, Ellie dragged her gaze away from the ruined photo and, along with the Fives, watched as Amanda headed over to Tanner and tapped him on the shoulder.

  “Oh, Lordy,” whispered Zora.

  None of the women watching said a word, and then Delta deliberately set down her own drink, a nearly empty glass of white wine, and followed after Amanda.

  * * *

  Goddamnit, Delta thought. Goddamnit. Amanda was the ultimate bitch. Flagrant. Mocking. Careless . . . that was it. Careless. Amanda just didn’t care. She’d never cared, and it was . . . infuriating! Amanda just cruised through bitchdom like a conqueror. She knew Delta would flip out, and yes, she was flipping out. She wanted to strangle both Amanda and Tanner.

  Keep cool . . . keep cool.

  But how could she do that, with Amanda slipping her arm through Tanner’s and laughingly dragging him away from the other guys, who were watching this happen in slow, dawning surprise and then suddenly looking around for Delta to see her reaction? She tried hard to keep a smile on her face, but it was cemented in place—and, she hoped to God, not in a Joker-esque grimace.

  Is Amanda right about Tanner screwing around with Zora and Ellie and . . . everyone?

  Now was not the time to think about that. She’d always known Tanner was unfaithful, but with her other high school friends? When? Long ago, or now?

  Don’t make yourself crazy.

  Amanda had always wanted Tanner, and she’d always felt like Delta didn’t deserve him. That was a fact. But she’d never loved him, not the way Delta had. She’d just wanted him, wanted to win him. Amanda had always craved beating everyone at everything. That was truly who she was. Except Delta had beat her in this one way. This. One. Way. She’d won his heart, and Amanda hadn’t.

  He did sleep with her, though. Believed he got her pregnant, whatever the case. Don’t forget that. And maybe he slept with some of your other so-called friends . . .

  Delta ached inside. She didn’t want to. She wanted to be tough and unaffected, but it really, really hurt.

  Do you still love him? Or is this just ego? Do you want this marriage to work, or is it on its last legs?

  “I want it to work,” she whispered.

  “What?” Justin Penske heard her as she approached the group. He was a bit apart from the crowd of them.

  Delta curved her smile into one of irony. “Think I’d better rescue my husband?” she asked lightly. There was no escaping the fact that Amanda had whisked Tanner away from the others. When there’s a glaring problem, don’t ignore it, point an arrow at it.

  “You mean from Forsythe?”

  “Brennan now, but yes.”

  “Keeping a leash on him’s a full-time job, isn’t it?” He grinned.

  She’d never liked Penske much. She hadn’t liked Brad Sumpter, the workout fanatic, his shadow, either. She hadn’t liked a lot of the guys in the class, come to that, but maybe that was because they’d always tried to shut her out. They’d wanted to keep Tanner in their inner circle of “bros.” Bros before hos, and all of that shit. She’d been so proud of the fact that she’d managed to win him away from them and everyone else.

  “I hear you have a kid now,” Penske said.

  “Owen. He’s fourteen months.”

  “Still counting in months, huh. When does that stop?”

  “Probably at two.”

  “Glad I don’t have any kids. They’d be assholes, like I am.”

  “I’m surprised you know it. And can admit it.”

  “That I’m an asshole?” He chortled. “Aren’t we all?” He swept an arm to encompass the guys’ group.

  “Yeah, maybe,” she said. Talking to Penske wasn’t half as bad as she’d thought it would be. Unlike Tanner, he seemed to possess some sort of self-deprecation. She tried to move past him and confront Amanda and Tanner.

  “You still love that shithead?” Penske asked.

  Amanda was smiling up into Tanner’s face, and he was eating it up.

  “Yes,” Delta said automatically.

  Her chest was constricted. Maybe there was something still there between them, something worth saving. Some small part of her that still loved her husband. He’d been all she could think about from the first moment they were together. She’d wanted to breathe him in every moment. Be with him. Tanner Stahd, the teenage god. He’d been all she’d ever wanted . . . then . . . and now?

  She swallowed. It still burned her to watch Amanda move in on her husband, even if she was doing it just to piss Delta off, which was what she suspected.

  But what if she really does want him? Will you fight for him? Is he worth it? Is the marriage worth saving? For Owen?

  Did he really sleep with Zora and Ellie and God knows who else?

  She thought about the way her husband had turned on his personality for the young receptionist, barely out of high school, who’d been all legs, skinny as a colt, and naïve in that totally adorbs way. She’d been just too cute for words, and Delta had felt the prick of jealousy. And she wasn’t the only one. There’d been a parade of them through the years. Slim, pretty, flirty . . .

  Oh, hell, be honest with yourself. You wanted to scratch their eyes out.

  “Hey, doll,” Tanner said, easing himself away
from Amanda as Delta approached.

  “No, don’t stop,” Delta said with steel in her voice. “We’re all just one big happy family, right?”

  “How progressive of you,” said Amanda.

  “You just said he’d screwed all my friends and that I should divorce him. I’m pretending you meant that as friendly advice.”

  “What?” Tanner asked. He was swaying a bit on his feet, grinning, but with pinched brows, aware he wasn’t quite following.

  “It was friendly advice,” she agreed.

  “What are you guys talking about?” asked Tanner. He lost his balance a bit, lurching, putting one hand on the edge of the bar to steady himself.

  “Did you really sleep with Zora and Ellie and Bailey?” Delta asked.

  “Bailey? What? What the fuck? No!”

  “I guess at least she was telling the truth,” Delta said drily.

  Her pulse was running fast and hard. She was playing a part. Pretending to not care, pride making her hard and cold. And she wasn’t going to let Amanda win. Tanner might be a piece of shit, but he was her piece of shit.

  “Okay, this was fun, but I’m done,” Amanda said on a huge sigh as she stalked away from the both of them.

  “I didn’t schleep with them . . . them . . .”

  “I think you maybe did.”

  “No . . . no . . . you don’t know.”

  “You’re drunk,” she observed. “Maybe it’s time to leave.”

  “Ahm not ready.”

  “Well, I am.”

  “Too fuckin’ bad, Delta.”

  “I’ll drive myself home, and you can cadge a ride or an Uber, I don’t care.” She turned away from him, and he made a grab for her elbow but missed. Tried again, caught her, then hung on for dear life as she stood like a wooden statue. She sensed everyone watching them and curbed the impulse to push him away. He was a belligerent drunk when he had too much. But she didn’t want to make a scene . . . at least one any worse than was already in progress.

  “It’s too early!” he practically shouted in her ear.

  “I’d say too late.”

  “You were friends with Amanda!”

  “Yeah, how about that? Strange things happen.” She tried to ease her arm from his grip, but he was hanging on tight.