by J. L. Wyer
“That guy has it bad for you.”
I spin around to make sure that the twins have gone back inside, then I fist my hands in Ryder’s shirt. Because let’s face it, my hands won’t pass up any opportunity to touch him.
“Everybody needs to stop saying that. Besides, even if he was interested, which he is not, I’m taken.”
The humid night’s air hangs heavy with a tinge of ozone as lightning flashes from a lone cumulonimbus cloud somewhere in the distance. I feel my back being gradually pressed up against the cool metal of my Hellcat as Ryder slowly pushes into my body, one hand splayed flat on the hood of my car. He hasn’t done anything more than that and I’m already desperate for him. My fists grip tighter to his shirt and I pull him in closer after checking to make sure that Meredith and Trevor aren't peeking out the living room window or watching us from the house.
“Coast is clear,” I say.
Dipping down, Ryder rubs our noses together while breathing in deeply. “You always smell so good. Jasmine, right?”
I hum my reply as I return the favor by rubbing my nose up and down his cheek. Ryder has a unique smell — a mixture of something citrusy and spicy. “Would you like to follow me home? I could whip us up something to eat?”
“I could eat,” he replies in a tone that alerts me that his words mean more than their literal translation.
“Let’s get going then.”
∞∞∞
The dizzying feeling of my body being lifted and settled causes me to shriek then giggle as Ryder’s body lands on top of me, his lips eagerly finding mine. We're in my bedroom and Daniel is working in the study.
“I thought you were hungry.”
“I am.” He kisses me again.
A single bright light flashes outside, followed by a boom of thunder; the sound rattling the windows. I tug at Ryder’s shirt and he gets the message, pulling it over his head and tossing it.
“Kiss me again,” I demand.
“Patience,” he taunts me, and I growl at him.
Another crack of lightning chased closely by a long roll of thunder plays out like a drumbeat to our frenetic make-out session. Because I don't remember ever touching another guy's body before, I push Ryder to a sitting position and hover my hands over his chest.
“May I?”
He swallows thickly and nods. Wow, the heat coming off his skin is unreal. It's like touching a smooth, hot stone that's been sitting in a campfire. Biting my lip in concentration, I start at his shoulders and move my hands down his arms to his wrists, then I trace the path back up again. Ryder exhales loudly and I look up into his eyes. They're so dilated, they're almost black.
“What is that John Mayer song?” I ask him.
“Something about your body being a wonderland,” he says, grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me in, his kiss hard and rough this time. “Elizabeth, we need to stop before this gets out of hand. I'm so close right now to not even caring that Daniel is in the house.”
He's right. I'm also not ready. The thought of having sex kind of terrifies me. But I did have sex before, didn't I, with Jayson? He's basically said as much.
The thunderstorm that had been building outside bursts open in a crescendo of lightning strikes and loud thunder. It’s like mother nature is giving us our own personal fireworks display. A memory appears in the recess of my mind.
“I love you, Liz.”
He kisses me slowly as his hand slides up to cup my face then wrap around the base of my neck.
A round of fireworks go off in the distance, casting a rainbow of colors over my face. My eyes pop open and we look up just as the finale of the fireworks begins in a cacophony of detonations above us.
“Wow,” I say, looking at him. He doesn't know whether I am saying that about the fireworks or about our kiss.
We fall back on the towel, eyes watching the smoke left over from the firework explosions drifting across the night sky. He pulls me to his side, and I snuggle in.
"You were right."
He turns his head to look at me. “Right about what, baby?”
“We did make our own fireworks.”
...
“Elizabeth? You okay?”
I blink a few times as I emerge from my trance-like state. “Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sorry. Just zoned out.” I pop off the edge of the bed while Ryder puts his shirt back on. “How does a bag of popcorn and a Netflix movie sound?”
“It sounds perfect,” he replies, taking my hand and leading me out of my bedroom.
“All our next times,” I hear Jayson’s voice whisper in my mind.
Chapter 18
Friday Night Lights
Elizabeth
“Come on, Liz! If we don't get there soon, all the good parking spots will be taken.”
I grab a light jacket from my closet just in case and sprint out of my bedroom.
“Stop rushing me, Jayson, or I might forget something.”
I mentally tick off items: jacket, tennis shoes, driver's license, cell phone, and the twenty bucks Daniel gave me. Oh, shoot. Forgot the necklace. I run back into my bedroom and get the necklace from the jewelry box on my dresser.
Ryder's dad needed his help with something at the garage today, so Ryder is going to meet us at school. Julien is riding with Elijah, so Jayson said he would pick me up. Meredith just texted to say that she and Trevor were on their way. We won't see Beth, Celeste, Davis, or Keith until after the game.
I'm speed walking down the hall while trying to get the necklace's clasp to lock with no avail. “Jayson? Can you help me with this stinking thing?”
“What do you need me to do?” I hear as I round the corner, stopping to shove my feet in my tennis shoes like they’re flip flops. I'll put them on properly and tie the laces once I get in Jayson's truck.
“I can't get the clasp to lock,” I tell him, turning my back to him so he can grasp the two ends of the necklace. He brushes my long ponytail to the side and clips the ends together.
“There. Done.” I whirl around to thank him but am stopped when he gasps. “You still have it.”
“Huh? Have what?” I turn a circle to look around for whatever it is I still have.
“The necklace. I gave it to you on our first date.”
My fingers immediately reach up and cover the pink stone in the shape of a heart. It may be my imagination, but I swear I can feel it pulse like a heartbeat.
“You gave this to me?”
“I made it for you with Jamie's help.”
My breaths are coming in short pants as a memory wants to form but struggles to get out.
“It's beautiful, Jayson. Thank you for giving it to me. I always wondered about it.”
Jayson takes a step toward me, his eyes flinty like steel. “Do you still have the ring?”
His voice has lowered, and I feel like something important hinges on the answer to that question; I just don't know what it is. He takes another step closer, and this time I retreat a step back.
“Do you have the ring, Liz?” he asks again.
The only ring I have in my jewelry box is one with four red stones. Something about that ring unnerves me, so I haven't worn it.
Jayson watches me closely for my answer. “I have a ring. It has four red rubies.”
He reaches out one hand and caresses my cheek with the brush of his knuckles. “I wish you would remember, Liz. I wish you could remember us.”
I tremble at his soft touch on my cheek. “You're wanting something from me that I can't give you,” I tell him.
Nor do I want to. I want to be with Ryder. I'm falling in love with Ryder. It scares the crap out of me to think about what would happen to us — to me and Ryder — if my memories returned. I don't want to be Old Elizabeth. I like being New Elizabeth.
Jayson's hand falls just like his face. Sadness fills in the lines around his eyes and mouth. “You ready to go?” he asks, dropping the subject.
I give a mental sigh of relief because I'm a coward. Over the past c
ouple of weeks, the more I'm around Jayson, the more I’ve felt this niggling little feeling deep inside my heart. Like a lost whisper on the breeze or a fading echo. The sound has been getting louder and louder as each day passes, and it takes everything I have in me to shut it off.
“I'm ready. Like you said, we don't want to be late.”
As we drive to school for the pre-game tailgating party, I find myself staring long seconds at Jayson's profile. He looks over and catches me.
“What?”
“I'm curious about something.”
“Liz, you know you can ask me anything.” He stops at a junction and looks right then left before pulling away.
“Why me? What's so special about me?” I ask.
Because I honestly don't get it. What makes me so wonderful and unique that has all these guys wanting to be with me? Wanting to fight over me? I'm just a small-town girl who likes simple things. I'm no great beauty. I'm not even that funny. I'd rather watch Hallmark movies and read romance novels than go to parties. I'm not special at all. So why me? Did I sleep around or something? Are the guys interested in me because I was willing to put out and have sex? No, that can't be the answer, especially if I was Jayson's girlfriend. I doubt he would have been my boyfriend if I was that kind of girl. I doubt Ryder would be with me now for the same reason.
“You're my princess,” he says.
“That makes no sense. That doesn't explain why.” I lean my forehead against the cool glass of the passenger side window.
“I can't explain why. It’s just the way it’s always been. You were it for me since the day I saw you when we were six years old. I fell in love you that day and I have loved you every day since.”
Oh, God. That niggling burn in my heart is back. I rub my chest with the heel of my palm. Jayson reaches over the console and stills my hand, then he curls his fingers around mine.
“I still love you, Liz,” he says softly.
My vision tunnels and is replaced with the white noise of a television screen. A series of images click from one to the next as if my brain is changing channels.
“I’m in love with you, Liz. I think I have loved you for a long time. Tell me you feel the same. Please tell me that we can be together, that you’ll be mine. I’ll do anything. Anything. Just tell me.”
His anguished words pleading with me to love him back tear down my walls of resistance. I do love Jayson. Very much. But part of me also loves Ryder. Another part is devoted to Julien. My heart belongs to all three boys, but I have to choose. And now, one of the boys I have loved since I was a little girl is in front of me, declaring his heart to mine, trusting that I won’t break it. And I won’t, I can’t. So I give in, letting him make my choice for me. Isn’t that exactly what I told Hailey I wished would happen? A part of me wonders what would have been if Ryder was the one who climbed up the tree tonight into my bedroom. I can’t be that selfish. Jayson waits patiently for my answer. I run my hands over his face and up into his hair. I kiss his cheek.
“Yes.”
I kiss his forehead.
“Yes.”
I kiss his nose.
“Yes.”
My eyes gaze at the gorgeous boy before me that has been my prince for so long.
“I love you too.”
Then I kiss his mouth.
...
∞∞∞
Jayson
Liz has gone silent and as rigid as stone. If it wasn't for the fact that I could see the rise and fall of her chest as she breathes, I would have thought something was very wrong.
I kind of still do. She's been acting weird lately. Very cagey and jumpy, like the slightest breeze will make her jump out of her skin. I wonder if the guys have noticed it too, and I plan to ask them about it tonight.
Pulling into the student lot, I see Julien and Ryder waving at me. Thankfully, they saved a parking spot between Elijah's Prius and Ryder's Hellcat.
“Liz, we're here. Liz.” I squeeze her hand and get nothing. She's still staring off into space. “Liz,” I say louder, and she flinches, then looks over at me.
“Yeah?”
“You okay?”
She realizes that we're still holding hands and slides hers out of mine before brushing the hair away from her face. “Yeah. I'm good. Oh, we're here already?”
My brow furrows for a second.
“Hey, there's Mer and Trev,” Liz exclaims happily, exiting the truck.
I get out on my side and walk around to the back to release the tailgate.
“I'm starving. Where's the grill?” Jules asks as he hops up onto the truck bed to get the portable grill and charcoal.
“Hey, man,” Ryder greets me. He takes one handle of the large cooler and slides it out. I take the other handle and we lift it down to the gravel of the parking lot. Mom pre-made us hamburger patties and threw in a couple of packs of hotdogs to grill. Everything is packed in ice inside the cooler along with some side dishes and canned drinks.
“Hey, E! Get over here and help!” Julien yells over at Elijah. He’s talking to a group of guys I recognize from Highland High. Our schools may be adversaries in sports, but we all hang out and party together, so it really isn't much of a school rivalry. Well, ‘isn't much’ doesn't mean always.
Ryder and I both look over when we hear Liz laughing. As the two of us look on, Trevor lifts her in a hug, and I grit my teeth.
“He likes her,” I grumble to Ryder.
“I know. I've mentioned it to her.”
“And?”
He grabs a soda from the cooler and passes one to me. “And she says he's just a friend and she's not interested in him like that. I trust her.”
My shoulders release their tension. If Ryder isn't worried, then I know I don't have to be. He's as protective of Liz as I am. “Hey, Ry. Have you noticed anything off with Liz lately?”
Julien and Elijah lift the grill out. “Something's wrong with Liz?” Jules asks as he tears the bag of charcoal open and pours some briquettes into the grill.
“That's what I'm trying to figure out. She's been spacing out a lot.”
My brother tries to reassure me. “She's still dealing with everything. Trying to find where she fits in now is hard for her. Maybe we're putting too much pressure on her. She's mentioned something to me before about wanting people to forget the Old Liz and get to know the New Liz. Ry, what do you think?” Jules asks him.
Ryder looks at me and Jules. “I think Jay makes a valid point. We should keep our eyes open. Who knows what injuries or damage her body endured in the car accident? It was serious enough to put her in a coma.”
“Now you're scaring me,” I reply. What if something is terribly wrong with her and we don't know it, or don’t know what symptoms to look for?
Ryder tosses his can in the truck bed. “She's been fine around me. When we were at the Fields last night, she had no problem driving or handling the car. She listened to instructions and didn't zone out.”
Liz comes over with Meredith and Trevor, ending our conversation.
“Hey guys!” Meredith says, She's wearing colored glitter in her hair to match our school colors and has our mascot face-painted on her cheek. “Oh, there's Darrel. Be right back.”
“Not a word, Trevor,” Liz tells him.
“But—”
“Uh. Nope. You are not going to pull the big brother card and scare away the guy she has a crush on.”
“But I am her big brother.”
Liz shoves his shoulder. “By two minutes! You've both told me the story. Now leave her alone.”
The guys and I laugh at Liz's bossiness.
“I'll leave her alone on one condition.” Liz crosses her arms and looks at him. “Throw some football with me.”
I don't think so. “Why don't I join you,” Ryder and I say at the same time, making Liz giggle.
Jules grabs our Nerf football out of the back of the truck and tosses it my way. He and Elijah decide they want to be on grilling duty.
“So
this is what you meant by tailgating before the game?” Liz says as she catches the throw I spiral her way. She tosses the football to Ryder.
“Yeah. We hang out, grill some food, then go watch the game when it starts.”
“Nice.”
A Mustang revs its engine loudly near us, causing Liz to miss the toss from Trevor. Through the car’s windshield, we see Marshall and Maria laughing. He jerks the car closer to where Liz is standing out in the middle of the parking lot acting like he’ll run her over if she doesn't get out of the way.
“What's that asshole doing?” Elijah growls.
If anyone knows how to deal with Marshall, it's Elijah. Elijah beat Marshall up last year after he deliberately injured Julien during a soccer game. I guess I should count myself with Elijah as well since I put a beatdown on Marshall at a party earlier this year. However, I can't remember doing it because I was given a drink at the party that was drugged and had to spend twenty-four hours in the hospital.
Liz faces Marshall's Mustang, her feet planted wide in a stance that says, ‘make me.’ He jumps the car closer until it taps her knees, making her stumble back a step.
Ryder, Trevor, Julien, Elijah, and I rush over to Liz, but before we’ve even gotten to her, Fallon comes out of nowhere. He pounds a fist against the driver’s side window.
“What did I tell you about staying away from Elizabeth? Do you need a reminder?” he shouts through the glass.
We can see Marshall's hands come up off the steering wheel as he says something back to Fallon. Maria's face is contorted with worry and she presses herself back against her side of the car, like she's trying to create more distance between her and Fallon even though he's on the outside.
“You and your girlfriend are done for the night. Go home. And if I hear that either of you even mutters a hello to Elizabeth, you'll regret it,” he yells. And then, to my absolute shock, Fallon takes a step back and lands a front heel kick to the driver's side door, denting it in.
Students in the lot, who had been watching the scene with interest and awe, part like the Red Sea as Marshall slowly backs his car up and exits the parking lot.