by J. L. Wyer
“Thanks for the assist, Fallon, but I'm not scared of him. I had it handled,” Liz tells him when he turns her way.
He pops a stick of gum in his mouth. “I know that, kitten,” he replies, walking over to Ry and giving him a fist bump. Fallon then walks off to join a group of seniors from Highland High.
“That guy is so alpha,” Meredith says from the sidelines, where she’s been standing next to Darrel.
“Do you smell something burning?” Trevor asks.
Jules taps Elijah on the arm. “Oh, crap! The burgers.” They run over to the grill.
“Princess, don't ever do something like that again. Let me and the guys handle Marshall,” I tell her.
“Why does he dislike me so much? Is it because Maria? Has her hatred of me transferred over to him?”
Ryder rubs a hand up and down her arm. “It started way before then.”
“Not so long ago, you may have also broken his nose after a race at the Fields,” I add.
“I did?” She looks very happy about that possibility. “Go me.”
“Food's done! Maybe a little charred but still edible,” Jules shouts over to us.
We wolf down our burgers and hotdogs, then pack everything back in the bed of my truck before making our way to the football stadium. Luckily, the rest of the evening is Marshall-drama-free and Liz enjoys watching the game. She and Meredith actually get into it, their raucous cheers and shouts of encouragement to Keith and Davis are funny as hell. Fallen Brook wins the game over Highland High by twenty-eight to fourteen.
Chapter 19
Girl Time
Elizabeth
“Definitely that one,” Meredith says as she sits cross-legged on my bed.
I don't know what I would have done if Meredith hadn't agreed to come over to help me get ready for my first date with Ryder. Because of my memory loss, to me, this feels like I’m actually going on my very first date, and my hormones are acting accordingly. I’m so freakin' nervous, I'm about to lose it. I want tonight to be perfect because Ryder is perfect. He's perfectly perfect. There are not enough perfects to describe him.
“You know you could wear a sack over your head and Ryder would still think you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”
I roll my eyes at her and slip on the pink floral wrap-around dress she picked out from my closet for me.
“That boy looks at you like you are water and he’s been stuck in the desert for ten years.”
“I think you may have him mixed up with me.”
“Oh, I’m not leaving you out. The way you stare at that poor guy, I'm surprised everything within a one-mile radius of you doesn't spontaneously combust into flames. You two are like gasoline and fire whenever you are in the same room with each other. If Jayson and Julien haven’t noticed by now, then they are completely bat-blind.”
My burst of laughter escapes before I can reel it back in. “Thanks for keeping our secret, Mer,” I tell her sincerely.
“Us girls have to stick together. Speaking of hot guys who can't keep their eyes off you, what's the deal with that guy Fallon?”
I wish I had a clue.
“Let me turn the tables on you, Mer. I see how you look at Darrel. Anything going on there?”
“Darrel is…well, Darrel.” Meredith drags her hand through her short hair, making it stand up on end in a stylish way. “I have a thing for nerds, and his blue eyes behind those black geeky glasses do something for me. He's no Ryder or Fallon, but yeah, I’d pole-vault that.”
“Why don't you ask him out then? We could do a secret double date.”
“You know what? I think I might just do that. Trev would crap a brick, though. He says I'm too young to go out on a date. So stupid seeing as he’s only five minutes older than I am. Besides, he's like had ten girlfriends.” Meredith adds in “sexist” and “hypocrite” to end her diatribe.
Something in my brain triggers when she says, “too young to go out on a date.”
“So, are we going to talk about what happened earlier?” I blurt out.
“Nope,” is what I hear from three male voices.
“Seriously? Because that was not cool,” I mumble.
“Well, guess what? What’s not cool is when some guy comes over when he sees you with three other guys and without checking with us first, decides it’s okay to ask you out. That’s not cool,” Julien points out.
“But why?”
“You’re too young,” Ryder says seriously.
“Oh my God! You did not just say that! And BTW, you are not my parents!”
“Answer is still no, Liz.” Jayson says coming over to my chair and squatting down in front of me.
“You can’t control my life like that. It’s not fair.”
Staring at me with deep mercurial eyes, he softly asks me, “Do you want to go out with Elijah, Liz? Is that what you really want?”
I glance down at his hands on mine. For some reason I feel like I want to cry.
“No,” I whisper back.
...
“How do you want it?”
“What?” I sit down on the corner of the bed, feeling lightheaded from the memories. Meredith doesn't notice my shallow breaths or shaky limbs and starts playing with my long hair while talking in a ramble.
“How do you want me to fix your hair? You’ve got such great hair, by the way. I love the pink. Perhaps a simple updo tonight since it’s still so hot out? How can September still be so freaking hot here? Yes, an updo is what you should do. Follow me.”
She pulls me up and leads me into my bathroom. After rummaging around my vanity drawers for hair clips, she takes a brush out and works on piling my hair up in sectioned twists.
“What were we talking about again?” I ask her.
She taps me on the head with the brush. “Me asking Darrel out.”
Right. “Want me to pass him a note? I can put on it: ‘Do you like Meredith? Check yes, no, or maybe.’”
“Don’t you dare! I already make a fool out of myself whenever I’m around him. You think I talk a lot now? That boy gets it double-time whenever he sits next to me in Computer Sci. He makes me nervous.”
I know the feeling because Ryder does the same for me.
Meredith intricately twists a few strands of my hair, shakes her head, and then starts over again. “So what’s your story morning glory?” she asks me.
“Not much to tell. Literally.”
She snorts at my pun.
“There has to be a story there. I mean, you, Ryder, Jayson, and Julien all growing up together. It must be so cool to fall in love with a guy that you’ve supposedly known since you were a little girl. That’s stuff you only read about in romance novels.”
“I'm not in love with Ryder.” Totally a lie, and she knows it by the incredulous look she's giving me in the bathroom mirror. “And I literally can't remember any of it, so...”
I internally debate how much I should tell her about my amnesia or the accident. But it would be nice to have another girl who I can confide in. Perhaps a part of me subconsciously misses my sister, and that’s what is prompting me to want to open up to Meredith.
“I was in a car accident in April. My head smashed through the driver’s side window and I was in a coma for a few days. That's why I have amnesia and can't remember anything. When I woke up, the first seventeen years of my life were missing.”
Meredith's arms wrap around me from behind, and she rests her head on my shoulder. “Elizabeth, that's horrible. Are you alright now? Other than the memory loss, I mean.”
“As good as I can be, I guess. It's weird not remembering anyone, especially when they know me. I think that's part of why I instantly liked you and Trevor when we met. You guys didn't know the old me, so it was easy to be around you both.”
“You're a cool girl. I know I can speak for my brother when I say that we like hanging with you. It's hard to find genuine people. A lot of the girls from my school back home would try to befriend me so they could have an
in with Trevor. It got to the point where my best friend betrayed me, and I stopped socializing with people altogether.”
Just like Maria, I think, and shake the memory from my head.
“Well, I can promise you that I have no designs on Trevor.”
“If you and Ryder don't work out, you have my permission to say yes to him, you know.”
“Thank you, but seriously, Trevor and I are just friends. Besides, it’s Jayson I need to worry about when it comes to whole Ryder and me stuff.”
“Jayson? I wish you could remember so you could tell me the story about the four of you.”
“I can tell you what the guys have told me. Jayson, Julien, and I met when we were six. We lived right next door to each other. Then Ryder joined our group in the third grade when we were nine. He lived down the street. They’ve been filling me in on what our lives were like. We were best friends. You don’t even want to know how many pictures I’ve looked through of the four of us. Between Ryder, Jayson, and Julien, there are thousands!” I look over at her. “Apparently, Jayson and I eventually started dating almost two years ago. I was his girlfriend.”
“Get out of here!” Meredith shouts and accidentally flings the hairbrush right out of her hand.
I cringe. “It’s complicated.” Isn’t that what Julien and Ryder keep saying to me?
“So, you can’t remember being Jayson’s girlfriend before, and now you’re dating Ryder. Girl,” she drawls out. “Are you a witch or a voodoo priestess?”
“I wouldn’t remember if I was.”
Meredith snorts again and starts laughing. When she calms down, I turn to look at her.
“That's why Ryder and I are trying to keep things private right now — if you understand what I’m saying. I don’t want to hurt Jayson more so than my memory loss already has. He wants me back as the girlfriend he used to know, but new me wants Ryder. It’s really confusing,” I sigh.
I don't mention that Jayson kissed me the other day. That's a whole other girl gab therapy session.
“But you can’t help who you fall in love with. I get it.” Meredith goes back to doing my hair and switches topic. “So if you're living with your uncle, where are your parents?”
“My parents were driving down the same road I was that night. They were hit by a drunk driver; the same drunk driver that crashed into me. They didn't make it.”
“Holy sh—! I’m so, so very sorry, Elizabeth. I didn’t mean to pry. Next time, tell me to mind my own business.” Meredith starts to cry, and I stand up to hug her.
“Mer, it’s okay. Please don’t be upset. It doesn't bother me much since I can't remember them. I guess that's one good thing about having amnesia.”
I release her and palm my face in embarrassment. “That sounds really crass and unfeeling, doesn’t it?”
“I’m not going to judge you for feeling that way. The situation you’re in is crazy. My mom always says, ‘Walk a mile in the other person’s shoes and you’ll see things from their perspective.’”
“I’m absolutely terrified, Mer, about my memories coming back because then I’ll have to really deal with their deaths. They wouldn’t be strangers to me anymore. And then there’s Hailey, my sister. She ran away the day they died, and I haven’t seen or heard from her at all. What if something horrible happened to her too?”
“Oh, Elizabeth. You're going to make me cry again. And there's no crying on first dates.”
Needing to stop the fall into a rabbit hole of depression, I ask, “I thought there was no crying in baseball?”
“Huh?”
“For some odd reason, I can remember details of movies. That was a quote from A League of Their Own. We should watch it sometime. Maybe have a sleep-over?”
“I love slumber parties! I get to bust out my Ouija board.” She sits me back down and sticks one last pin in my hair. “Okay. Done. What do you think?”
I look in the mirror. Meredith has created a gorgeous, intricate mass of twisting hair on the back of my head, leaving a few tendrils hanging down my neck.
“I love it,” I tell her. “Thank you, Meredith. It’s nice having another girl to talk to like this.”
Meredith bends down and gives me hug. “Even if you don’t remember who you once were, you’re a really awesome girl, Elizabeth. And if you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m a great listener. Really, I am. I may talk a bunch, but I am loyal to the core. Since we’re sharing secrets, the reason I may seem like a hyper chihuahua all the time is because I have ADHD. I don’t like taking medication because it makes me feel awful. But that’s a story for another day.”
“Meredith, I wouldn’t change you for the world. I like you just the way you are.”
“Aww. That means a lot to me. Now, let’s find some shoes to go with your rocking dress and wait for your guy to pick you up.”
Chapter 20
The First Date
Elizabeth
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”
We’re in Ryder’s car driving down a quiet country road. The fingers of my left hand are intertwined with those of his right hand. Every once in a while, he releases my hand to shift gears, but he always brings his hand back to mine afterwards.
For our first date earlier this evening, Ryder took me to an outdoor concert at the local botanical gardens. We walked around the grounds while a four-piece ensemble played classical Baroque music. The gardens had strung lights in all the trees and more lights along the pathways, making the whole experience enchanting. It was like being in the middle of a forest oasis surrounded by twinkling fairies peeking at us from the foliage as we walked by. We held hands the entire time, and Ryder would press kisses against my temple, the back of my hand, my hair, and my shoulder. I don't think he realized he was doing it, and the sweetness of it all had me swooning the entire evening.
After our stroll around the gardens, we walked back to where folding chairs had been arranged for people to sit, and we watched the sunset as the ensemble played Concerto for Two Violins by Bach. Ryder told me he was fulfilling my “would you rather.”
As we continue to drive, I gaze out the window. The sky is cloudless tonight, the moon casting shadows inside of the car. I look over at Ryder’s profile. He really is devastatingly handsome. Strong. Sexy. The butterflies in my stomach take flight once again as they usually do when I look at him. It’s been a month since that first day of school when he found me in the hallway. Such a short amount of time, but also a lifetime between us. My mind may have buried my memories six feet under, but the way my body reacts whenever I’m around him, the way he makes me feel; Ryder is becoming my everything—the person I most look forward to seeing every day. And it scares me.
I lift our twined hands up to my lips and place a kiss to his knuckles. “Where are you taking me now?”
He glances at me and the yellow in his golden eyes reflects the moonlight coming through the windshield. “It’s a surprise. Patience, baby.”
I give a tiny girlie sigh. “I love it when you call me that.”
“What? Baby?” He raises one black-brown brow at me.
“Yes.”
“I’ll make sure to use it more often then.”
He hands me his phone. Without thinking, I open his music app and select a song. As it starts playing from his speakers, a memory flash of me doing the same thing at some other time scuttles across my brain. “The Distance” by Cake starts playing, and I turn up the volume.
“Nice,” Ryder tells me when he hears it.
“I was going to ask if I could come back out to the Fields with you again sometime and get more lessons.”
“Anytime you want. I would love for you to come out again. I'm impressed with how well you handled your car.”
I beam at his praise. “I have a good instructor.”
“I want to take a look at your car and check out your engine sometime, if you don’t mind. I have a few ideas for improvements you might be interested in.”
“Seeing
as my car is basically your car…” I laugh because it really is a carbon copy of his, except his is black and mine is red. “Do whatever you want with it. I trust you.” His hand squeezes mine and he leans over to kiss my cheek.
Ryder slows his car down and takes a right onto a dirt road. We bump over dried mud until we reach the top of a hill where he parks the car and turns off the engine. Below us, Fallen Brook is illuminated by street and house lights, while vehicles driving along the roads create streaks of red and white light. Above us is the open night sky filled with hundreds of tiny stars. It’s like we’re existing in our own separate space, caught between two worlds.
“Alright, I’m intrigued.”
He gets out of the car and walks around to open my door. “I found this place a couple of years ago. Sometimes I come out here when I need some peace and quiet.”
Ryder lifts me bodily out of my seat and carries me to stand at the hood of his car. Keeping his arms wrapped around my middle, he turns me around as he sits down on the front part of the hood. My back is now pressed to his chest. I relax into him and we listen to the chirps of crickets, the buzz of cicadas, and the singing of frogs.
“This is nice. Very peaceful. I can see why you like it out here.”
Ryder begins humming a tune; one that seems familiar to me. As he hums, he nuzzles my neck and I close my eyes. My voice joins his and I hum along with him. His deeper, baritone voice, with my higher, soprano one, fit together beautifully. Just as we fit perfectly together.
“Your dad wrote this song,” Ryder tells me. “He taught it to us when we were younger.”
I’m taken aback at his words. “My dad wrote this?” I squeeze my eyes shut, wanting to force the memory forward. It’s there, on the periphery, if only I could grab it and pull it out.
I feel Ryder shift behind me. He removes one of his arms from around my waist and pulls his phone out. The beginning notes of “Helium” by Sia start to play.
“We danced to this at our Junior prom. No one else existed in that moment. It was just you and me.” He turns me in his arms once more. “Dance with me, Elizabeth,” his deep voice says next to my ear, causing a thousand goose bumps to form on my arms.