At the Mercy of Tiberius

by Augusta J. Evans

  CHAPTER XXXII.

  "I fear, my sister, that you have made a great mistake in refusing anoffer of marriage, which almost any woman might be proud to accept."

  Sister Ruth closed her writing desk, and looked at Beryl over herspectacles.

  "Why should you infer that any such proposal has been made to me?"

  "Simply because I know all that has occurred, and my cousin writes methat you decline to marry him. If you had intended to remain here andidentify yourself with this institution, I could better understand yourmotives in rejecting a man who offers you wealth, good looks, astainless reputation, an honored name, and the best possible socialposition."

  "All of which tempt me in no degree. Mr. Brompton is doubtlesseverything you consider him; lives in a brown stone palace, is aninfluential and respected citizen, but comparatively, we are strangers.He bought my pictures, took a fleeting fancy to my face, and to mygreat surprise, indulged in a romantic whim. What does he comprehend ofmy past? How little he understands the barrier that shuts me out fromthe lot of most women."

  "He is fully acquainted with every detail of your life that has beenconfided to me, or discovered by the public; and he has studied andadmired you ever since you came to dwell among us. In view of your verypeculiar history, you must admit that his affection is certainlystrong. If you married him, your past would be effectually blotted out."

  "I have no desire to blot it out, and though misfortune overshadowed myname, it is the untarnished legacy my father left me, and I hold itvery sacred; wrap it as a mantle about me. When suspicion of any formof disgrace falls upon a woman, it is as though some delicate flowerhad been thrust too close to a scorching fire; and no matter howquickly or how far removed, no matter how heavy the dews that empearlit, how fresh and cool the wind that sweeps over it, how bright the sunthat feeds its pulses,--the curled petals are never smoothed, the hotblasts leaves its ineffaceable blight. To me, the thought of marriagecomes no more than to one who knows death sits waiting only for thesetting of the sun, to claim his own. That phase of life is asinaccessible and uninviting to me, as Antartic circumpolar lands; andeven in thought, I have no temptation to explore it. My future and mypast are so interblended, that I could as easily tear out my heart andcontinue to breathe, as attempt to separate them. I have a certain workto do, and its accomplishment bars all other paths."

  "Does the nature of that work involve vows of celibacy?"

  "Sometimes fate decrees for us, allowing no voluntary vows. How soonthe path to my work will open before me, I cannot tell; but the daymust come, and like a pilgrim girded, I wait and watch."

  "Can you find elsewhere a nobler field of work than surrounds you here?"

  "Certainly not, and some dross of selfishness mingles with the motivesthat will ultimately bear me beyond these hallowing precincts; yet aday may come, when having fulfilled a sacred duty, I shall travel back,praying you to let me live, and work, and die among you."

  "My sister, your patient submission, your tireless application, haveendeared you to me; and I should grieve to lose you from our littlegray band, where your artistic labors have reflected so much credit onthe 'Home'."

  "Thank you, Sister Ruth; praise from fellow toilers is praise indeed,and the greatest blessing one human being can bestow upon another, Iowe to you; the blessing of being helped to procure work, which enablesme to help myself. If I leave the 'Anchorage' for a season, it will beon an errand such as Noah's dove went forth from refuge to perform; andwhen I return with my olive branch, the deluge of my life will havespent its fury, and I shall rest in peace where the ark is anchored."

  "Do you imagine that desertion from our ranks will be so readilycondoned? Drum-head court martial obtains here."

  "Would you call it desertion, if seizing the flag of duty that floatsover us here, I forsook the camp only long enough to scout on adangerous outpost, to fight single-handed a desperate battle! If Ifell, the folds of our banner would shroud me; if I conquered, wouldyou not all greet me, when weary and worn I dragged myself back to theranks? Some day, when I tap at the ark window, you will open your armsand take me in; for then my earthly mission will have ended, and thesmoke of the accepted sacrifice will linger in my garments."

  "Meantime, to-day's duties demand attention. I have a note from CyrilBrompton requesting that special courtesy be shown by us to his friend,the new Bishop, who is in the city, and who desires to inspect the'Anchorage'. Cyril declines escorting the party, because he finds itpainful to meet you now, and he wishes particularly that you shouldshow your own department. I shall not be able to climb to the thirdstory, while my ankles are so swollen, so I must deputize you to do thehonors on your floor. Hold yourself in readiness, if I should send foryou, and do not forget to give the Bishop a package of the newprospectus of the art school. That basket of orchids must be deliveredbefore five o'clock. Sister Joanna said you detained her to make asketch of it."

  "I had almost finished when you summoned me. Send her up for the basketin half an hour."

  The long studio was deserted, and very quiet on that sultry Saturdayafternoon in midsummer, and the drowsy air was laden with fragrancefrom the pots of white carnations, massed on the iron balcony, uponwhich the tall, plate glass windows opened to the north. Down thecentre of the apartment ran a table covered with oil cloth, and on thewalls hung pictures in oil, water-color, crayon, while upon bracketsand pedestals were mounted plaster casts, terra cotta heads, a fewbronzes, and some hammered brass plaques. In the corners of the room,four marvels of taxidermy contributed brilliant colors mixed on thefeathered palettes of a pea-fowl, a scarlet flamingo, a gold and asilver pheasant, all perched on miniature mounds, built of curiousspecimens of rock, of shells, coral and sphagnum.

  The slow, languid swish, swish of the waters stirred by a passingsteamer, broke on the cliff beyond the wall; and along the sky linewhere lake and atmosphere melted insensibly into blue distance, greatcumulus copper-colored clouds hooded with salmon-tinted folds, tippedhere and there with molten silver, shadowed with pearly hollows, hungentranced by their own image, over the inland sea that gleamed like amirror.

  At the end of the studio, near the open windows, Beryl had placed theplateau basket of orchids on the table; and she stood before an easel,transferring to the surface of a concave brass plaque, the flutedoutlines of the scarlet and orange ribbons, the vivid green, purple andgolden-brown lips, the rose velvet cups, the tender canary-hued calyxesof the glistening floral mass, whose aroma seemed a panting breath fromequatorial jungles. Having secured the strange forms of these vegetablesimulacra of the insect world, she replaced the sheathing of tissuepaper around the gorgeous mosaic of color; and just then, Sister Joannathrew open the door, and ushered in a party of visitors, consisting oftwo gentlemen and a lady. One was Mr. Kendall, a member of the Chapterof Trustees.

  "Good evening, Sister. Bishop Douglass, of our State, and Miss Gordon,from the South. I have been boasting to them of the perfect success ofthe 'Anchorage', as an industrial institution. Will you show us some ofthe work done in this department?"

  As on a swiftly revolving wheel, Beryl saw the black eyes andgold-rimmed spectacles of Leighton Douglass; the shield-shaped amethystring on his broad, white hand; the slender figure by his side, drapedin some soft brown tint of surah silk, the blond hair, the wide,startled hazel eyes of Leo, who made a step forward, then pausedirresolute.

  The gaze of the visitors was fastened upon the superb form wearing thegray garb of flannel, with snowy fluted frills at the rounded wristsand throat, and a ruffled white muslin mob cap crowning rich waves ofbronze hair, that framed a beautiful pale face, whose gray eyes keptalways the soft shadow of their long jet lashes.

  Only half a minute sufficed to gird Beryl, and with no hint ofrecognition in her tranquil countenance, she moved forward, opened thedrawers, and spread out for inspection various specimens of drawing andpainting, in all stages of advancement.

  A crimson tide overflowed Leo's cheeks, but accepting the cue ofsilence, she re
frained from any manifestation of previous acquaintance;and bending over the pictures, listened to the grave, sweet voice thatbriefly, though courteously answered all inquiries concerning theschool, hours of classes, tuition fees, remunerative rates paid fordesigns for carpets, wall papers and decorative upholstering. Unrollingfrom a wooden cylinder a strip of thick paper, two yards long andtwenty inches wide, she displayed an elaborate arabesque pattern donein sepia for a sgraffito frieze, sixteenth century, which had beenordered by the architect of the new "Museum of Art".

  "A bit of your favorite Florentine facade," said the Bishop, addressinghis cousin, and peering closely at the scroll work.

  "In this corner of the world, one scarcely expects a glimpse of AndreaFeltrini," answered Leo, avoiding the necessity of looking at Beryl, byglancing at Mr. Kendall.

  "What are your sources of information?" inquired Bishop Douglass.

  "We have a carefully selected collection of engravings, and a few goodsketches and cartoons; moreover, some of our Sisterhood have been inItaly."

  In attempting to roll the strip, it slipped from her fingers. Bothwomen stooped to catch it, and their hands met. Looking into Leo'seyes, Beryl whispered: "See me alone." Then she rewound the paper,restored its oil silk cover, and shut the drawer.

  "Do you find that the demand for purely ornamental work renders thisdepartment self-sustaining?" asked Leighton Douglass.

  "I think the experience of the 'Anchorage' justifies that belief;especially since the popularization of so-called 'Decorative Art',which projects the useful into the realm of the beautiful; and bylending the grace of ornament to the strictly utilitarian, dims the oldline of demarcation."

  "We are particularly interested in acquiring accurate knowledge on thissubject, because Miss Gordon hopes to establish a similar institutionnear her home in the South; where so many of our countrywomen, rendereddestitute in consequence of the late war, need training which willenable them to do faithful remunerative work, without compromisingtheir feminine refinement. While in Europe she inspected variousindustrial organizations; saw Kaiserswerth, and the Training Schoolsfor Nurses, even the Swedish 'Naas Slojd', and her visit here is solelyto verify the flattering accounts she has received of the success ofthe eclectic system of the 'Anchorage'. The South is so rich in finematerials that appear to offer a premium for carving, that we wish toinvestigate this branch of 'decorative' labor, and hope you can help usby some practical suggestions."

  "Within the past twelve months, we have commenced the experiment ofwood work; make all the utensils we need, and one of our patronssecured for us some models from the school you mentioned nearGothenburg. As yet we have received only two orders; one for a base inwalnut for a baptismal font; the other an oak triptych frame for achoir in a Minnesota church. The carving is a distinct branch, thatdoes not belong to my department; but if you will knock at the archeddoor on the right hand side of the hall, Sister Katrina, who has chargeof that work, will take pleasure in exhibiting the process. Mr. Kendallknows the 'Anchorage' so well, he needs no guide to the work-rooms.Permit me to offer you some copies of our new prospectus, and also aphotograph of this building, as a slight souvenir of your visit here."

  She fitted papers and picture into a square envelope stamped with ananchor in red ink, and handing it to Miss Gordon, walked to the doorand opened it. On the threshold Leo turned, and looked intently intoher face:

  "Are you sufficiently at leisure to allow me a little furtherconversation this afternoon; or shall I call again?"

  "I am entirely at your service, and shall gladly furnish anyinformation you may desire. Our matron has placed my time at yourdisposal."

  "Mr. Kendall, if you will kindly accompany the Bishop to thewood-carving room, I can remain here a little while, to ask Sister somequestions, which would scarcely interest you gentlemen. I will join youthere, very soon. Leighton, please get an estimate of the cost of thenecessary outfit, and talk with Mr. Kendall concerning the feasibilityof sending one of our women here for a year."

  Closing the door, Beryl put out both hands, and took Leo's. She stood amoment, holding them in a tight clasp.

  "Thank you, for considerately withholding a recognition that would haveembarrassed me. I hoped that the habit of our Order would in somedegree disguise me, yet, at a glance you knew me."

  "Shall I infer that your history is unknown here?"

  "Sister Ruth, our Matron, is thoroughly acquainted with my past life,but she kindly respects my sorrows, and deems it unnecessary to publishthe details among the Sisterhood. Do you know me so little, that youimagine I am capable of abusing the confidence of the head of anestablishment which mercifully shelters an outcast?"

  She stepped back, and motioned her visitor to a seat near the balcony.

  "I should be very reluctant to ascribe any unworthy motive to you;therefore I fail to understand why you desire to preserve yourincognito, especially since the signal vindication of your innocence.The news of the extraordinary discovery of the picture on the glass,and of your complete acquittal, even of suspicion, gave me so muchpleasure that I should have written you my hearty congratulations, hadI been able to obtain your address."

  "I felt assured you would rejoice with me; and because I hold your goodopinion so valuable, let me say that my happiness in the unexpectedvindication of my character was enhanced by the proud consciousnessthat in your estimation I needed none. When the blackness of anintolerable shame overshadowed me, you groped your way to the dungeon,and held out your hands in confidence and sympathy. All the worldsuspected; you trusted me. You offered your noble name as bond, andmade a place for me at your own sacred hearthstone. Do you think I canever forget the blessedness of the balm that your faith in me pouredinto my crushed, despairing heart? Do you doubt that no sun sets,without seeing me on my knees, praying God's blessing of perfecthappiness for you? What would I not do--what would I not suffer--tosecure your peace, and to prove my gratitude?"

  Her voice vibrated like the silver string of a deep violon-cello, andLeo, gazing up into the misty splendor of the beautiful sad eyes,ceased to wonder at the fascination which she had exerted over Mr.Dunbar. Unintentionally this woman's face had marred her life; hadunwittingly stolen her lover's heart; yet she believed no treacherysullied the pure perfection of the soft red lips, and Leo's generousnature rose above the narrow limits of ordinary feminine jealousy. Hadshe doubted for an instant the theory that Beryl was heroicallysuffering the penalty of a crime, in order to screen her guilty lover,some suspicion of the truth might have dawned upon her.

  "Suppose I intend to put your gratitude to the test? You haveexaggerated the debt which you acknowledge; are you prepared to cancelit? If I say to you, because I believed in you, trusted you, will yourepay me now, by granting a favor which I shall ask?"

  "I think Miss Gordon could express no wish that I would not gladlyexecute, in order to promote her happiness."

  "Will you come back to X----and help me to establish a home for women,who are destitute alike of money and of family ties? When you presideover it I shall be haunted by no fears of failure. Once, I gave you mysympathy; now, when I need help, will you give me yours?"

  Beryl shivered, and looked wonderingly at her companion. Was she indeedso unsuspicious of the quicksand on which stood the fair temple of herhopes in marriage?

  "O, Miss Gordon! That is the one thing, in all the world, that for yoursake as well as mine, I could never do. No, no; impossible."

  "Why, not for my sake, since I desire it so earnestly?"

  A bright flush had risen in Leo's cheeks, and she threw back her smallhead challengingly.

  For a moment Beryl wavered. Could she bear to wound that proud spirit?

  "Go back to X----? To X----! It would be a renewal of my martyrdom, andI should only be a stumbling block in the scheme you contemplate. Youdo not understand, perhaps; but believe me, I prove my gratitude byrefusing your kind offer."

  "I think I understand; and if I am willing to run the risk, what then?"


  "Do not ask me the impossible. The very atmosphere of X----would numbme, destroy all capability of usefulness, by reviving harrowingmemories."

  "Had not every shadow of suspicion vanished, and the entire communitymanifested delight in your triumphant innocence, I should never havesuggested a return to the scene of your sufferings. Certainly, I cannotpress the payment of a debt, which you volunteered to cancel; but I amsorry your refuse to oblige me."

  There was a starry sparkle in the soft hazel eyes, and an involuntaryand unconscious hardening of her lips, as Leo rose.

  "It is hard, Miss Gordon, to be always misunderstood; but sometimesduty points to lines that subject us to harsh and bitter censure. Ibear ever a heavy burden; do not increase my load by condemning me asungrateful, God knows, you hold a warm and a holy place in my heart,and your happiness is more to me than my own; yet the one thing youask, my conscience forbids."

  "How long have you been here?"

  "It will be two years to-morrow since I entered these peaceful walls."

  "Then your probation ends, and you become permanently a Sister of the'Anchorage'?"

  "Not yet. I have been permitted to earn my daily bread here, uponconditions somewhat at variance with the regulations that usuallygovern the institution. I have not applied for admission to permanentmembership, because my stay is contingent upon circumstances, which maycall me hence to-morrow; which may never arise to beckon me away.Sister Ruth generously allows me the latitude of choice; not for my ownsake, but for that of a friend, whose influence secured my admission.After a while, when I have finished my work, I hope to come back; tospend the residue of my earthly days, and to die here, a faithfulUmilta Sister of the 'Anchorage', which opened its arms when I was aneedy and desolate waif."

  "The peace of your new life is certainly reflected in your face.Patience has had its perfect work; and that 'peace that passeth allunderstanding' is the reward granted you."

  Leo held out her hand, and Beryl took it between both hers.

  "Dear Miss Gordon, grapes yield no wine until they are crushed,trampled, bereft of bloom, of rounded symmetry, of beautiful color; butthe Lord of the Vineyard is entitled to His own. I was a very proud,self-reliant girl, impatient of poverty, daringly ambitious; and what Ideemed a cruel fate, threw me into the vat, to be trodden under foot.It may be, that when the ferment ends, and time mellows all, the purplewine of my bruised and broken life may be accounted worthy the seal ofa sacramental sacrifice. I have ceased to question, to struggle, toplan. Like a blind child, fearing to stumble into ruin, I stand, andstretch out my hands to Him, who has led me safely through deep waters,along frightful gorges. Each day brings its work, which I striveworthily to accomplish; but my aim is to lay my heart, mind, soul, mystubborn will, all in God's hands. You think peace the summum bonum?Sometimes we obtain it by an ignominious surrender, when we shouldpossess it by conquest. 'Peace of mind is a beautiful and heavenlything; but even peace of mind may become an idol; and there is perhapsno idol to which women bow down more passionately.' For this reason, Iam waiting for the drum beat of duty, and my march may begin at anymoment. I asked to see you alone, in order to beg that you willincrease my debt of obligations, by promising to reveal to no one theplace of my retreat. Accident has betrayed to you that which I amanxious to keep secret; and I trust you will tell no one where you metme."

  "Why should you hide, as though you were a culprit? You have been socompletely exonerated from the imputation of guilt which once hung overyou, that you owe it to yourself to front the gaze of the worldfearlessly. What have you to dread?"

  "The failure of something, which, though its accomplishment costs mevery dear, I shall not relax my efforts to promote. I am trying to beloyal to my duty, even when the command is to strangle my own weakheart. You do not, cannot understand. God grant you never will. Thereare reasons why it is best for me to live in strict seclusion, for thepresent. Those reasons I can explain neither to you, nor to any otherhuman being; and yet, I ask you to respect them, and to keep my secret.You trusted me in the terrible exigencies of the past; and you musttrust me now, for--oh! God knows--I do indeed deserve your confidence."

  She raised the hand folded in her own, and bowed her head upon it.

  "You have my promise. Without your permission, I will mention ourmeeting to no one. I trust you; and perhaps if you would trust me, Imight render you some aid."

  "The day may come, when I can find it compatible with duty to tell youthe secret of my life. In future years, when you are a happy wife, Ishall by God's help be able to seek you and your husband, and thank youboth for many kindnesses. I pray that you may be as happy as youdeserve."

  There was no tremor in the voice that answered quickly.

  "If you refer to Mr. Dunbar, you have been led astray by the gossip inX----. Once, there seemed a probability that our lives might be united;but long ago, we found that ardent friendship could not take the placeof love; and rather more than three years have passed since we haveeven seen each other."

  With a startled movement Beryl dropped her companion's fingers, andlaid a hand on her shoulder.

  "Oh! do not tell me that you have broken your engagement!"

  The two looked steadily at each other, and while Leo's proud face gaveno hint of pain or embarrassment, Beryl's blanched, quivered.

  "How did you know that any engagement ever existed?"

  "All X----knew it. Mrs. Singleton and Sister Serena told me."

  "I dissolved that engagement before I went to Europe."

  "Then you rashly wrecked your beautiful future. Why did you cast himoff? He would have made you happy; he is worthy, I think, even of you."

  "Yes, he is worthy, I believe, of any woman whom he may really love;but my happiness is not in his keeping, and my future holds, I trust,something much brighter than our marriage would hate proved to me."

  "You have thrown away the substance for the shadow. Before it is toolate, reconsider your decision; give him an opportunity to reinstatehimself in your affection. You have both been so kind to me, that Ihave hoped you would find life long happiness in each other."

  "Dismiss that delusion. His path and mine diverge more and more, and weno longer dwell in the same State. He has inherited a large amount ofproperty in Louisiana, and now lives in New Orleans; hence you canreadily perceive how far apart the currents of our lives have drifted.I rejoice in my freedom; and he, I suspect, is not inconsolable for myloss."

  Through Beryl's whirling brain darted the recollection of a rumor, thatLeighton Douglass was suitor for his cousin's hand; and that Miss Dentfavored the alliance. Was the solution of Miss Gordon's cold, calmindifference to be found in the presence and devotion of the Bishop?Could he have supplanted Mr. Dunbar in her affection? Had the worldswung from its moorings? What meant the light that broke upon her, asif the walls of heaven had fallen, and let all the glory out?

  After a moment she said, solemnly:

  "I pray God to overrule all earthly things, for your welfare, for yourheart's truest happiness; and for the realization of your dearesthopes. When my mission has been accomplished, and duty lifts her sealfrom my lips, I may try to see you once more, and explain the necessitythat forced me to seek seclusion."

  "I believe I understand; and I trust your reward will not be delayed.You and I can lean with confidence upon the wisdom and the mercy of theGod we worship; but each must serve out His appointed time of bondagein the Egypt of suffering, in the famine of the desert; and must drinkat Marah, before the blessing of the manna, the grapes of Eshcol, theroses of Sharon. If ever you should need an earthly friend, rememberme; and if all other refuge fail you, my home can be always yours."

  Hand in hand they walked to the door, and Leo pitied the future of thiswoman, whose lover was a wandering outlaw, with a price set upon hishead; and beneath her gray flannel habit, Beryl's heart was torn withconflicting emotions, as she watched the placid, proud face, thatshowed no vestige of the storm of disappointment which had stranded hersweetest hope in life.
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  "Good-bye, Beryl; God keep you in His tender care."

  "Good-bye, dear Miss Gordon. I will pray for your happiness, so long asI live."

  She stooped, drew Leo's hands to her face, pressed her trembling lipstwice upon them; then turned quickly, and locked herself in the studio.

  Is it true, that "Orestes and Pylades have no sisters?"