The Blood Will Dry
Page 15
With Bryan though, I hadn’t felt afraid or timid. Maybe it came with age, or maybe five years of celibacy had broken down all my inhibitions, but it was also possible that the knowledge of how mortal we all were was what did the trick. It was hard to deny yourself pleasure when you knew any moment could be your last.
Bryan shifted until we were side by side, and then propped himself up with one arm. His gaze trailed over my naked body and I found myself smiling. We’d barely finished, but already he had that look in his eyes. It was like he couldn’t get enough of me, and I knew the feeling, because I found myself wanting him again already. Found that I didn’t ever want this moment, here in this dusty apartment, to end.
He ran the tip of his finger across the scar on my lower abdomen and I could see the question on the tip of his tongue, but he bit it back. He had to know what the scar was from and was obviously afraid to bring it up, but I suddenly found that I wasn’t afraid. After five years of running from memories, I was finally able to allow them to catch me.
“That’s my C-section scar,” I whispered.
He traced it again. “I figured.”
I watched as his finger moved up and down the scar, remembering how it had itched when it was healing. Remembering how it had felt to hold my little baby in my arms and know that all the discomfort, all the struggles had been worth it if it meant that I got to have her.
“I liked being a mom,” I said, covering his hand with mine.
He looked up, his hand frozen under mine. “Is it something you’d want to do again?”
“Maybe. If things got better. I’ve seen people get pregnant and give birth in the settlement, and I’ve always wondered how they could even think about bringing children into this world, but I was reacting based on my own pain. I was thinking about how it had felt to lose everything. I believed it was a pain that could never be healed. I know that’s not true now.” I paused and smiled as I thought back, remembering the past and the ups and downs of that time in my life. “I also remember how it felt back then. To find out I was pregnant and to be surrounded by so much controversy, to see Michael hurt, to struggle to make ends meet. Then the pain of labor and my eventual C-section. I went through so much, but when she was born and I was holding her, I realized it was all worth it because I couldn’t possibly love anyone the way I loved my daughter.”
A tear slid down my cheek and Bryan reached up to wipe it away. I hadn’t even realized I’d been crying, but the really amazing thing was that the feelings accompanying the tears were different. It wasn’t pain, but nostalgia. It was as if the memories had been transformed from something ugly to something precious. Like I could look back on all of it now and realize how truly blessed I’d been to have that little bit of happiness in my life.
“I’d like a family,” Bryan said.
I twisted so we were facing each other, lying on our sides, both of us totally naked. My eyes trailed over him, over the lines of his face and the curve of his lips, taking in every detail. I didn’t stop until his gaze had captured mine, holding it with the intensity in his blue eyes. Bryan was a good man. Strong and determined, soft and gentle. He would be a good dad.
“You have to settle down before you can have a family,” I whispered, feeling like I should point out the obvious.
Bryan smiled. “I have to beat the aliens before I can settle down.”
I found myself returning his smile, which made no sense considering we were discussing a scenario I found nearly impossible. We couldn’t beat the aliens. They were too strong. There were too many unknowns.
But we could try. For the first time since leaving the militia, I felt a surge of adrenaline. It was the same feeling of determination that had driven me in those early months, carrying me across the miles and miles of foreign terrain, traversing the vines and dodging poisonous flowers, being soaked to the bone and freezing but barely feeling it because the vengeance that lived inside me was enough to keep me going. Only what I felt now wasn’t vengeance, it was hope. It was like that first ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds after a storm, or the rainbow that somehow managed to show up despite the cloud-clogged sky. I could almost picture the future, which was something I hadn’t been able to do for five years. Even after leaving the militia and settling down, I wasn’t settled. I was coasting, surviving on denial and living with blinders on, convincing myself that what I had was enough when it wasn’t even close.
“When you leave—” I had to pause so I could swallow, but it wasn’t because I found the words difficult, it was because of the emotions clogging my insides and threatening to come out. “I want to join.”
Bryan pushed himself up until he was sitting, pulling me with him. “The militia?”
I nodded and his hand squeezed mine. “Yes. I was in one, back in the beginning, but I gave up. I gave up the moment that mall exploded, really. For a while the heartbreak and pain I felt was enough to keep me going, but it couldn’t combat the hopelessness. After weeks and weeks of no progress, I hit a wall. I told myself there was no point and I settled for living day to day, for pretending that I didn’t need a future.” I shrugged, and then shook my head. “I guess I didn’t back then. But I do now.”
Bryan scooted closer to me. We sat naked, facing one another on the bed, our knees touching and my hands in his. The excitement in his eyes was visible even in the limited light. Something about it made me excited too. It was a feeling I wasn’t used to, one I’d thought could never return. But it had, it was because of Bryan.
We stayed that way, naked and side-by-side in bed, until early the next afternoon. It was the first time in five years that I felt comfortable and carefree. I knew it couldn’t last, but I decided to enjoy it while I could. To embrace the fact that the rain was still pounding down on the building and flooding the city, trapping us. It almost felt like time had frozen. Like we had been sucked into some kind of wormhole and were just drifting now. It was a day that I would remember for the rest of my life. No matter what happened, no matter who won, no matter how long that life was.
The rain finally eased to a drizzle, and then tapered off to a mist. It hadn’t lasted as long as it usually did, but I found that when it was over I was relieved. As much as I had enjoyed this break from reality, I couldn’t forget what we’d left behind or the fact that Daisy was missing. Bryan had opened my eyes to so many things, and one of them was how little credit I’d given my best friend over the last four years. She’d always been here for me, shared everything with me, but I had given her nothing in return. I needed to find her and save her so I had a chance to right that wrong.
We got dressed in our own clothes, which had miraculously dried despite the moisture hanging in the air. The grenades we had yet to use were sitting on the table, lined up and just waiting for us to carry them home. I clipped them to my belt and then added my other weapons, the knives I always carried and finally my gun, which I didn’t put away. Having it in my hand gave me a false sense of security, but at least I was aware of it. I knew that I could raise the weapon and fire it at point blank, that the bullet could hit the creatures right in the head and still do nothing, but having the gun was better than facing these things with no way of putting up a fight. At least that’s what I told myself.
“You ready?” Bryan said from behind me.
I swiped the Kevlar vest up before turning to face him, already nodding. He was dressed too, back in his old clothes which should have disappointed me—I kind of liked seeing him with nothing on—but instead sent a tingle of desire shooting through me. Everything about him looked badass, from the snug fit of his shirt to the tattoo that swirled around his bicep. He shoved a knife into the sheath he had strapped to his thigh, and then checked the magazine in his own gun one more time. It was like a scene from some epic sci-fi movie and it actually made my knees weak, seeing him looking so strong and self-assured.
“Yeah,” I managed to get out. The word wobbled, but I didn’t care. I felt alive for the first time in five y
ears and I wasn’t going to hide the feeling. Not from myself and not from him.
Bryan smirked. “You okay there? You look a little unsteady on your feet.”
I rolled my eyes but laughed anyway. “Yeah, well, I think you wore me out.”
He crossed the distance between us in two long strides. “Damn,” he said in a gruff voice as he pulled me closer to him. “I had big plans for when we made it back to your room.”
“I think I’ve found a second wind,” I whispered just before his mouth covered mine.
The kiss was brief but deep enough that I felt it all the way in my toes. When he pulled back I was so lightheaded that the room actually spun. I closed my eyes and shook my head, laughing at my own silliness. Bryan made me feel like a teenager again, and I had to admit that I liked it. Liked knowing that there was still life left inside me.
He chuckled as he moved to the door. “Let’s get back to the settlement while you still have some energy.”
The city dripped. Water Dropped from vines and trees and buildings, falling to the waterlogged street below. Where the road had once been now flowed a river, albeit a shallow one. The water ran toward the crater that loomed only a few blocks away from us, rushing toward the hole like it was on its way home. Above us the dark clouds had lifted a little, leaving behind the same misty gray ones I’d now grown accustomed to.
Goose bumps popped up on my exposed skin after only a minute of being outdoors. The temperature had dropped a good fifteen degrees in the wake of the storm, and it was much too cold for the tiny shorts and tank top I was wearing. I shivered and hugged myself, but it didn’t help. Another reason to hurry back to my room.
“You think if we combine our showers Alvarez will give us ten minutes instead of five?” Bryan asked as he stepped off the sidewalk and into the street.
“Not a chance,” I said, following him.
Water sloshed with each step we took. It went up to my ankles, swallowing my boots in its grimy depths and filling them before we’d made it to the other side. I’d be pissed if they weren’t already wet. Our short time in the apartment had been enough to dry out my clothes, but not my boots. Even before I’d stepped into the water they had sloshed under my feet with each step. Now they were so full that I was sure a fish could survive in them, assuming it didn’t get smashed.
We made it to an alley, which miraculously had less than an inch of standing water, and then crossed over to another street. The drainage here must have been better, because there was no standing water on the road at all. There were huge puddles, though, and between the vines little pools of water had collected that I knew would be there for a few days at least. The good news was that the settlement’s water supplies had definitely been replenished thanks to this storm, meaning we could increase our showers. Not how long we got, but how often. We never got more than five minutes.
The buzzing reached my ears only a second before the alien landed in front of me. I tried to raise my gun but I wasn’t fast enough. The thing was already swinging its front legs down and around in an arc that started above its head and ended when its claws sank into my sides. A scream ripped out of me and pain shot through my body. My Kevlar vest and gun clattered to the ground as the edges of my vision darkened and the world went in and out of focus. I could hear a voice, distant but somehow loud at the same time, calling my name. I tried to focus on it, tried to find it and hold on, but the pain that throbbed through me made it impossible.
The alien moved and more pain pulsed through me when my feet left the ground. My legs swayed under me like they belonged to a rag doll, and I found it impossible to fight or kick or do anything but hang there. It didn’t make sense. I was in agony; I should be struggling to get away. Only I couldn’t.
“Diana!”
I tried to reach out to the voice, tried to grab hold of it, but I couldn’t, and then the alien was moving and the sound of my name got fainter and further away. Cold, wet air slapped against my face, making it impossible for me to pass out even though I desperately wanted to. I begged for unconsciousness, begged for relief from the pain that throbbed through me. The claws were in my sides, each one stuck between my ribs and holding me in a way that kept me securely in place. Every scurry of its alien feet caused me to bounce around, sending fresh waves of agony through me. I gasped and screamed and cried, but I still couldn’t fight. I remembered my earlier thoughts about how I would pull out a grenade and blow both of us to bits if I ever found myself in this situation, but I now knew why none of the other people I’d seen carried off had done that. Because it was impossible.
It had to be a poison. The thought somehow clawed its way to the surface of my muddled brain, and despite the fuzziness in my head I knew I was right. I couldn’t even lift an arm to hold onto the creature and my legs swung lifelessly under me with each step the thing took. I wanted to fight, I really did, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything but hang there and pray that the pain would bring unconsciousness.
My body dipped backward and darkness closed in, but it took a moment for me to realize it wasn’t because I’d passed out. I was still very much awake when the alien climbed into the crater. I could see the vines that twisted and curled around the walls, climbing out of the hole and eventually spreading down the street. They were thick, but somehow the creature holding me made its way through. It was almost as if the foliage had moved aside for it.
The darkness grew almost as intense as the pain, and the air around me cooled until my body began to shiver. It was so chilly and moist that the air felt icy against my skin. My teeth chattered and the tears that dripped from my eyes felt like icicles on my cheeks. The scurry of the alien’s feet battled with the buzzing of its wings to fill the silence, but it was my own heartbeat that throbbed against the inside of my head.
The direction shifted and I realized we had reached the bottom of the crater. Down here, the vines were thick, and they wound their way across the dirt, over the floor and walls and ceiling. The thing carrying me shifted and I was able to get a glimpse of the vines as they disappeared into darkness that stretched out in front of us.
There was a tunnel and it seemed to go on forever. I tried to move my head so I could get a better look at it, but once again my body wouldn’t cooperate. The alien scurried forward, over the thick vines as it dragged me deeper into the darkness, and I continued to shiver and ache. The tunnel of dirt stretched on and on in a never-ending line, the darkness seeming to go on for miles. Was this how they got around? Did this tunnel lead all the way to their hive? It had never occurred to me that they would travel this way. Never occurred to me that these craters might be connected.
I battled the pain, trying to take in my surroundings and think all this new information through. The intense cold of the tunnel seemed to help dull the pain, but it didn’t help me focus. There was too much to think about and too many sensations slamming into me at once. The cold, the pain, the fear of the unknown. I couldn’t take it all in, couldn’t focus on any one thing long enough to really think about what I needed to do or how I would get out of this situation.
Light began to penetrate the darkness, but at first it was so dim that I found myself blinking, wondering if I was imagining it or possibly about to die. Was this the light people saw when they passed over to the other side? If so, I would go into it without fighting, would welcome the relief it would bring as it wrapped me in its warm embrace and pulled me away from this world of pain.
Only that wasn’t what it was, which I realized as we grew closer and the buzz of alien wings grew louder. It was the hive. It hadn’t seemed like we’d traveled far enough to have reached it yet, but it was entirely possible that I’d passed out at some point and hadn’t realized it. The vines lining the tunnel grew thicker the closer we got to the light. Soon roots that had to be from the alien trees joined them, as well as other foliage that had no business growing on this planet. We passed flowers that I knew could kill me in seconds if too much pollen was inhaled, but the cr
eature that had me in its grasp kept a safe distance as it scurried down the tunnel, almost like it was intentionally avoiding them.
When we emerged from the tunnel I found myself looking up into another crater. This one was different, though. It was half as wide as the one we’d gone into and buzzing with life and greenery. Instead of being crisscrossed with vines the way the other crater was, this one was open and had green walls that rose up and disappeared into the black clouds. Dozens of aliens scurried along the walls, moving up and down so fast that it made my head spin. The hum of their wings was different here than out in the open, more relaxed. The sounds weren’t clipped and didn’t rise and fall the way they usually did, but instead seemed to come together to create a symphony of sound.
The most striking difference between this crater and all the others I’d seen before were the bodies hanging from the walls. Many of them were old, beginning to decay at this point, and exactly as Bryan had described them. Small vines twisted around arms and legs, securing the people to the wall, while a different and much wider vine protruded from their open mouths. Their eyes were closed, thank God, but that didn’t make the sight of the red vine stretching their jaws open any less grotesque. It seemed impossibly large, bigger around than my wrist, and just the sight of it made me gag. Had they been awake when the vine was shoved down their throats? Did they feel it the entire time it was there? I thought about that happening to me, about my mouth gaping open as a foreign object snaked its way down my esophagus, and a shudder shook my still useless body.
Even more horrifying than the vine was the large hole in the torso of most of the bodies. I’d imagined something smaller, like the hole the tiny creature left behind in Aliens, but this was huge. It stretched from ribcage to lower abdomen and was as wide as the people were. It was obvious that something had ripped its way out of them because of the way broken ribs protruded outward on many of the bodies. Sheets of skin hung from the sides of the hole as well, now dead and turning black, and the inside of the bodies looked hollowed out, as if the creatures had feasted on their insides before breaking their way free.