Walk of Shame Series (Books 1-6)

by Victoria Ashley

  He takes a deep breath and squeezes me tighter, resting his chin on my shoulder. His hair brushes over my neck, causing me to shiver in his strong arms. I want to give into him, but I can’t. Damn, this feels so good; too good. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you like you were for me. I just . . . I had to numb myself from the world. I had a constant storm of fucked up memories in my head that consumed me. I can’t change the past, but I can promise you better for the future.”

  I can’t help the tear that runs down my face. I still remember Hemy as the broken boy I met ten years ago. He was roaming down the alley behind my house with a group of older boys – all troublemakers. He stopped when he saw me and I couldn’t help but to smile at him. He was the cutest boy I had ever seen and when he smiled back, a warm feeling enveloped me. After that day, I sat behind my house for at least a week waiting for him to walk by again. When he did, he walked over to me and I instantly wrapped him in a hug, surprising him. There was something about him that made me feel like he needed some tender care. I was right. He needed that and much more. After that, we were inseparable.

  I let the tear roll down my cheek, being sure that it drips away from Hemy. I don’t want him to know he’s sparking some deep emotions inside of me. I have to be strong.

  “Hemy,” I whisper.

  “Yeah.” He pulls my hair back and holds it in a ponytail.

  “I don’t want to talk about us. Can we just enjoy this bubble bath without me having to hurt you? Please, I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Letting out a small breath, he shifts so he can reach beside him and light the few candles that surround the tub. When his arms release me, a part of me feels dead inside. The feeling scares the shit out of me. I haven’t even spent much time with him and I’m already dreading not being in his arms.

  After lighting the candles, he grips my hips and turns me around so that I’m straddling his lap. I grip his shoulders and push away from him as he tangles his hands in my hair. “Hemy,” I warn. “I need to be careful.”

  “There is no being careful when it comes to me,” he says confidently. “I’m yours. I always have been. Nothing will ever change that.”

  His hands tighten in my hair and he grinds below me, digging his semi hard erection between my legs. The feel of the steel bars, poking me, make me want to jump on his cock and go for a ride – a Hemy ride.

  I wrap my legs around his waist and close my eyes as he brushes his lips over my neck and shoulder. Being with him this way feels better than anything I have felt in years. I need a distraction, something to steer my thoughts in another direction.

  “Do you still wonder about your sister,” I ask, stopping his kisses. “Are you still looking for her?”

  I feel his body tense below me before his arms wrap around my waist and pull me closer to him. “Every fucking day. It seems no one in Wisconsin is named Sage. Wisconsin was the last place I saw her before I was adopted and my foster parents moved me here to Chicago. I still check in, hoping that maybe she will pop up. No fucking luck. I have even checked anywhere within a few hours of Wisconsin and nothing. My parents were pieces of shits and did this on purpose. They left us in different places, Onyx. They dropped me off an hour away from home and then took off with Sage. I know they dropped her off too. Then they ran. No one has seen them since. They were miserable and wanted to be sure we would be too.”

  I take in a gulp of air at the reminder of how Hemy was left alone at such a young age. He lost his whole family; they never even cared to begin with. Sage was the only one he truly had and he couldn’t even protect her from his parents’ harm.

  “Do you think you would know Sage if you saw her? I mean how would you know it was her? It’s been ten years and she was so young.”

  His eyes go hard as his jaw ticks. He has so many bad memories that I hate even asking this.

  “I may not recognize her right away, but I would know if I saw the back of her neck.”

  I reach behind his head and wrap my fingers in his hair for comfort. “From when your father burnt her with that pan?”

  “Fuck!”

  I jump away from his loud outburst, but he grabs me and pulls me back to him.

  “I’m sorry.” He grinds his jaw and closes his eyes. “Yes. That happened like two years before I lost her. We were all in the kitchen, waiting for my mother to finish the last bit of dinner. Sage was crying. She was hungry, because we hadn’t eaten in over two days. I tried to comfort her, but she just kept crying and saying Ty, I’m hungry over and over again. Back then I didn’t go by Hemy. My father hated my mother for naming me that. He made me go by my middle name.” He stops and shakes his head. “Anyways. My father got tired of her crying so he picked her up by her arm and dragged her across the kitchen and over to the stove. He grabbed for the pan my mom was cooking on and held it against the back of her neck, smiling as she screamed out in pain.

  “When I ran over to help her, my dad took the pan and swung it at my face, hitting me, and causing me to fall back and hit my head on the corner of the counter. I blacked out, and all I remember is waking up to Sage crying and sitting next to me on the kitchen floor while my parents were at the table eating without us. The pan left an odd shaped scar on the back of her neck. I’ll always remember that mark.”

  I turn my head away and swipe at the tears as they begin to fall down my face. The thought of Hemy hurting kills me. All of a sudden, all I want to do is go to bed and get the night over with. I can’t think anymore. I want to hold him while I sleep – one last time. Just this one night.

  Hemy notices me crying and instantly reaches out to dry my tears. “Don’t cry for my past. It only made me stronger. I may not have been strong four years ago, but I promise you now, that I will be the strongest man you know. Taking care of you is what will make me strong; protecting what I love the most in life.”

  My heart takes on an odd rhythm as I watch his face. All I see is truth in his words. He’s never told anyone that he loves them, except Sage and although he didn’t exactly come out and say it, it’s the closest thing to it for him. It makes me want to hold onto him and never let him go.

  I clear my throat and pull his hands away from my face. “It’s getting really late and I’m tired. Can we just go to bed now?”

  He looks my face over before smiling and rubbing under my eyes one last time. “Yeah. Let me put you to bed. It’s late as shit.”

  He stands up and gets out of the tub. Reaching for a towel, he turns around and reaches for my hand to help me out of the water, before draping the towel over my shoulders. I stand here and watch as he blows the candles out and drains the water out of the tub.

  “Next time we’re in that tub, I’ll be making love to you.”

  He grabs my hand and pulls me through the house, his body dripping wet as he guides us to his bedroom. Without turning on the light, he gets into his bed and tugs on the towel, pulling me down next to him.

  “Lose this,” he whispers while unwrapping me from the towel. “You know I can’t sleep unless I’m wrapped up in your naked body.”

  I sit on my knees, naked, as Hemy takes me all in. Then, he pulls me down so that I’m lying down next to him. He leans over and presses his lips against mine, soft at first, before going rough and deep, causing us both to moan into each other’s mouths. He kisses me for a few seconds longer, before moving down in between my legs, spreading them apart and kissing his name that is tattooed on the inside of my thigh.

  My heart melts at the familiar feel, making it harder to fight my emotions.

  “Goodnight, baby,” he whispers, while lying back down and pulling me close to him.

  I close my eyes and cuddle in next to him, feeling his naked body flush against mine. Man, it feels so, so good; too good.

  “Goodnight,” I whisper as his grip on me tightens.

  Guarding my heart is going to be a lot harder than expected . . .

  I WAKE UP TO AN empty bed; the sheets smell of Jasmine and Vanilla. I alw
ays did love the scent of her hair. It always relaxed me, making me feel . . . alive. I’ve missed that scent almost as much as I have missed her.

  Getting her to stay last night was a long shot; having her here in the morning was the impossible. I knew that from the beginning, but I learned to live with the idea and flowed with it. I just hope our night was enough to have an effect on her. If not, then I have a shit ton of work ahead of me.

  Grumbling, I sit up and bury my hands in my hair. Having her next to me felt a lot better than I remembered. How can I ever live without that feeling now? She has ruined me. With her; I feel at peace. I feel like a real person. There is no way I’m giving up this fight, as much as I know she wants me to. A real man never gives up on his woman; he would die for her . . . and I would.

  Sitting here; I feel empty. I don’t have to work tonight so I need to find a way to keep my mind busy before I drive myself insane with thoughts of her.

  “Shit! I need to do something.”

  I stand up, still naked and smelling of her. It instantly arouses me and I need a release. I make my way to the bathroom and run a cold shower; my thoughts stray back to her and the smooth curves of her body.

  The ice cold water should be helping with my hard on, but it’s not. It’s so fucking hard, it’s beginning to hurt. The only way to get rid of it, is to release the pressure. Placing one hand against the shower wall, I grip my cock, close my eyes and stroke it to the images of Onyx in my head.

  Picking up speed; it doesn’t take long before I’m busting my load into the water, it washing down the drain.

  I stand under the frigid water for a few more minutes before quickly washing up, turning off the water and reaching for a towel. The doorbell rings, just as I finish wrapping the towel around my waist.

  A spark of hope surges through me at the idea that it could be Onyx. Although the rational part of me already knows that it isn’t. She said so herself that she needed to keep safe. The more she’s with me; she’s in danger of falling for me again and getting hurt. At least in her eyes; she thinks I’ll hurt her. I don’t blame her for being afraid.

  Securing the towel, I make my way to the living room, crack open the shade and look out. I almost feel like punching something when I realize that it’s only Stone outside. What the fuck could he want?

  I yank the door open and give him a hard look. I can’t really be mad at him, but I can’t help but to be disappointed that I was right about it not being Onyx.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I growl while pushing my wet hair away from my face.

  He smirks and slaps my shoulder, walking past me and into the house. “Nice to see you too, guy.” He jumps over the couch and takes a seat. “Dude, this couch smells like sex.”

  Slamming the door shut, I walk over to stand behind the couch. “Yeah. Your hand is in my dried up cum right now. Now what the fuck do you want?”

  My attitude doesn’t even phase Stone. He’s so used to my mood swings that he just brushes it off. He knows I mean no harm. That’s one thing I like about this kid. He may only be twenty-one and a little inexperienced, but he’s a pretty decent dude and doesn’t take stupid shit to heart.

  Lifting an eyebrow, he shrugs off my outburst. “Let’s go out tonight. It’s Cale’s night to work. I have a place in mind that I want to go to but I need a partner.” He pauses for a second to turn on the TV. Sure, make yourself at home. “There’s a girl I want to see. I met her at that house we danced at last week. Her name is Ash. She’s sexy as all hell but I’m trying to play it cool. I know she wants me, but I’m not giving this dick up that easy.”

  I think about it for a second and then I realize that this Ash girl probably works with Onyx. She might not like me showing up at her work again, but I don’t give a shit. I will show up there every night until she gives me a second chance. That’s how stubborn I am.

  “Where?” I take my towel off and run it through my hair. “I might be down.”

  Stone turns around to look at me right as I wrap the towel back around my waist. “Vixens Club, man. I heard from one of the other girls that she works there. I’ve been thinking about going to see her for a while. You down?”

  “Yeah,” I say stiffly. “I’m down. Meet me back here around nine.”

  Standing up, Stone gives me a fist pound and heads for the door. “Alright, bro. I’m out.”

  “Cool.”

  I watch as Stone walks outside, forgetting to shut the door behind him. “Idiot,” I mutter before walking over to shut it.

  I stand here in thinking mode for a moment. This may make me sound like a pussy, but I want to be sure to look sexy as hell for her tonight. I’m going to dress this body of steel up for her and she won’t be able to resist. I’m making it my mission to make her mine again.

  WHEN NINE O’CLOCK ROLLS AROUND, I’m standing outside my house waiting on Stone to show up. I’m dressed in my favorite white button down, the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and the top few buttons undone, displaying my tats. I threw on a pair of dark fitted jeans that show off my muscular thighs, black boots and my hair is pulled back out of my face. Hell, I even trimmed my beard a bit to be sure it looks sexy for her.

  Stone rolls up in his Jeep and whistles when I walk over and jump in the passenger seat. “Damn, dude. You trying to give the ladies a walking orgasm? You look studdish tonight.” He reaches over and grabs the top of my collar, tugging slightly. “Damn, guy. I need to borrow that shirt sometime.”

  Shutting the door, I smirk slightly. “Come on, man. Stop creaming yourself over my clothes and let’s go. No woman is going to want your ass if you walk in with nut stains.”

  “Fuck yeah, they would. Once I bust out my moves; the ladies can never resist.” Stone lets out a satisfied laugh while grinding in his seat and pulling back out in the street and taking off. “No worries here.”

  We drive in silence for a few minutes, me lost in my own thoughts, trying to decide my best move for tonight before Stone interrupts me.

  “You dressing up for someone? You never did tell me why you ran out of Walk Of Shame that night.” He glances over at me and I grind my jaw at the thought of that night. I still can’t get over what I found that night; her being in that place, rubbing all over that filth. She’s too good for that shit. “I’m guessing it’s for some fine ass girl. I’ve never seen your ass try before. Usually the grungy Hemy look is enough, my man.”

  “Yeah, man, not this time. Trust me,” I reply. “It’s for the girl. Not just any fucking girl. And she works with this Ash chick so don’t make a fool out of yourself around me. I need to prove to her that I’m a different person. I’m taking it easy on shots and all that hard shit. Got it?”

  Nodding his head, he pulls up to Vixens Club, parks the Jeep and kills the engine. “Sure thing, man. I’ve been there once. Good luck is all I can say. Once a woman sees all your fuck ups, it’s hard for them to see you for the good. That shit stays with them forever.”

  My jaw ticks from his words as I stare up at the neon sign in deep thought. It just reminds me that there’s a huge chance that Onyx will never forgive me for all the shit I put her through. Doesn’t matter. It won’t stop me from trying.

  “Come on, man. Let’s go.”

  I jump out of the Jeep and slam the door behind me, with Stone hopping out right after. I didn’t mean to close it to the point of almost breaking it, but I can’t seem to control the negative thoughts swarming through my head. The thought of not having her as mine makes me want to slam my fist through something.

  “Take it easy, dude.” Stone flares his nostrils while looking his Jeep over for any damage. “Don’t take it out on my shit. Save it for the assholes in the bar.”

  “My bad,” I growl. “I’ll buy you a new one if I fucked it up. Let’s just get this over with.”

  We reach the door and some guy made of muscles with a bald, shiny head and long beard about six foot five comes over and asks for Stone’s ID. He gets ready to ask for mine but a
fter getting a glimpse of my face, decides against it and just waves us past.

  “Seriously, dude?” Stone complains. “Is it because of my handsome baby face?” He rubs his hand over his face as if he’s all smooth and shit.

  I give his dumb ass a push as the bouncer gives him a blank look while crossing his arms. “Real men have beards. Grow one,” I say annoyed.

  After getting past the bouncer, we quickly order a couple drinks and take a seat in the far back. The club is fairly busy tonight and the thought of having all these creeps’ eyes on my girl is driving me mad.

  I know she hasn’t danced yet because the bartender said there are a couple more girls before her. I don’t really care to watch the show. Onyx is the only one I came to see. Until then, I’m invisible in the background.

  Sipping back a Gin and Tonic, Stone pulls out his wallet and sets it on the table. “This club is pretty damn nice. A hell of a lot nicer than ours.” He runs his hand over the table in front of us while admiring it. “Black glass tables, red suede chairs and look at that stage. That’s a sweet ass stage. I wonder if they’ll let me dance here. You know,” he smirks confidently, “To help bring them some more cash in.”

  I tilt back my beer and block Stone out. I haven’t been this fucking nervous since before I hit fucking puberty. All I can think about is thrashing all the men in this room. I saw the way that piece of shit handled her last time I was here and it makes my blood boil that I didn’t kick the shit out of him.

  I take a look around the room, taking in all the assholes waving money around and screaming out like pigs. This must be the image Onyx has of me in her mind. I’m just like every one of these assholes. Until I can change that; that’s what she sees.