by Jack Stroke
“What?” she croaked.
“I said, you got lucky last time. Not gonna happen again.”
There had to be a weak point. Ralph was holding her too far for her to reach his crotch. Clawing his eyes would have insufficient effect. Her consciousness was slipping away fast. She had to do something.
The black circles reappeared, mind fading. Hand. His hand. She had to get his hand off her neck. Except his hand was too strong. She couldn’t remove it, but maybe… she didn’t have to remove his hand… she just had to…
With one last act she managed to grab his thumb. With both hands and all her might, she wrenched it down.
Amber lost consciousness. Fortunately, it must have only for a second or two. She found herself in a pile on the floor. Ralph had backed up a step, cradling his thumb. He attempted to squeeze the pain out his eyes.
“My thumb… What… what did you do…”
He attempted to focus through watery eyes, unable to draw his attention away from his injured digit.
“What… what did you do?”
“Relax,” Amber said, stroking her neck. “Just a dislocated thumb. They can be pretty painful though, yeah?”
Tears ran down the big boy’s face.
Amber pushed her way to her feet, gasping for air. Standing defiant. She was no good to anyone on the floor. Ralph let fly with a long list of expletives.
“Oh, grow up, you big baby. You’re lucky it’s just your thumb. It’ll be worse in a minute.”
“I’m gonna kill you.”
Amber adopting a fight stance. “Come on then.”
Drawing from a deep well, fury won over the pain. Ralph charged Amber, hands outstretched, determined to finish the job.
She held her ground, appearing ready to fight. At the last second she dropped like a stone, avoiding his outstretched arms. All of Ralph’s momentum was moving forward. His legs struck Amber and he tripped forward, smacking into the window with no chance to stop himself. The under-code glass shattered, and he crashed right through it.
Ralph screamed as he fell, landing on the roof above the building’s entrance. The fall did nothing good for his neck or his head.
Amber gazed down at the contorted figure. Ralph was definitely dead.
“I warned you.”
People below moved out from under the entrance’s roof, trying to get a look at what had happened.
Great. Now Amber would have to find somewhere else to hide.
7
Amber sat by the pool, pretending to be someone else. It wasn’t working. She had never been the type of person able to sit by a pool or on the beach all day and do nothing. It was boring. How did others manage it for hours on end?
A cooling shadow indicated someone had moved between her and the sun. Amber waited for them to make their way past. When they didn’t she opened her eyes.
“We have been waiting for you to come inside,” Mother said. She looked quite comical, barely an inch of skin showing. Her customary sunglasses matched with a broad-brimmed hat and scarf wrapped around her face for good measure.
“Soon,” Amber said. “I’m just trying to get some sun.”
“We hope you have applied sunscreen.”
“Nope. That’s the whole point.” Amber pointed to her neck, red from Ralph’s attack. “Trying to make it so the rest of my body matches that.”
“Why? For your Paradise Cove friends?”
“You don’t have to say it like that. And yes, for them.”
“Why? Would they even notice?”
“If I returned home with significant bruising around my neck? Yes, certainly. If I’m head to toe red, not so much.”
“Is this how it is going to be from now on?”
“How what is going to be?”
“This new attitude of yours? Reckless Amber?”
“Chill Amber. And the plan worked, didn’t it?”
“Define worked.”
“I planted the tracker on Gomez.”
“True. You also brought a huge amount of unwarranted attention on yourself, killing his right-hand man.”
“No one knows that was me. For all anybody knows Ralph jumped out of the window.”
“Jumped. Right.”
“You are one of the reasons for the new attitude, Mother. Like it or not you helped create Chill Amber.”
“Oh, so we are to blame?”
“No one is to blame. You’re the person who told me I had to be less uptight and stop trying to control every little thing. That’s just what I’m doing.”
“Are you sure? Because from where we are standing it looks more reckless and cavalier.”
“Mother… There was no good way out of the building. I planted the tracker and I made it out of there eventually. That’s the important thing, yes?”
Mother briefly turned her head in the sun’s direction before scampering off without another word.
There was no pleasing some people. Amber stroked her cheek. It was tender to touch. She would be sore tomorrow. Perfect. The sunburn plan was coming together nicely.
8
The bounce of the ball echoed through the Scout Hall. The slap of synthetic rubber against the floorboards.
Ben glanced over his left shoulder. Vaughan had his hand at the small of his back, positioned between Ben and the ring. Ben jabbed left, staying where he was, seeing if Vaughan would take the bait. He didn’t. Ben jabbed again, tossing in a head fake this time. Fake left to sell it, drive right. The head fake got him. Ben had a clear line for the basket. He drove hard.
Vaughan recovered quickly, managing to get in front of Ben. Ever the wily opponent. Not much good, but smart. Able to read the play. He was too late. Ben had momentum on his side. He ploughed right into Vaughan’s chest, sending him flying backwards.
“And one!” Ben said as he finished with his right hand, an easy layup in the end.
On the floor Vaughan punched his open palm, indicating a charge.
“No chance,” Ben said. He stuck out a hand and pulled Vaughan to his feet.
“I think I’m going to have to stop playing with you.”
“Why? Because you’re no good?”
“Yeah, that and you’re too big for me. You’re strong as an ox now.”
A smile teased Ben’s mouth no matter how much he tried to hide it.
Vaughan wandered over to grab his water bottle. The intention may have been to only have a quick drink, yet he couldn’t stop himself sliding down the wall and slumping to the floor.
“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask. Do you know any self-defence moves?”
“Yeah,” Vaughan said. He stuck up both hands. “I know: ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me…’ And ‘the runaway’.”
The ball bounced around the ring and in as Ben practised his jump shots.
“Any real stuff?”
“What’s all this for?”
“Oh, I did some basic self-defence stuff a few months back.” He positioned himself in a fighting stance. “It was cool. I want to learn some more.”
“Sorry, can’t help. I end up on my back playing basketball against you. I would have no chance in a fight.”
Vaughan took a big swig from his bottle. “What’s it all for? The weights, the fitness, the self-defence.”
“I don’t know. Just interested, I guess.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Do you ever feel like you’re just ready for something, you know? You’re just, like, just waiting for it to happen?”
“Yeah, I guess. What are you waiting for?”
“I don’t know. Life.” Ben took an easy layup at the ring. “I’m thinking of getting a job. With Amber.”
The silence that followed was accentuated by the empty space around them.
“Really?”
“Sure. Thinking about it.”
“What, in logistics?”
“Yeah. Why not? Amber thought she might be able to get me some work.”
“Is that what you want?”
“I think so, yeah. It would be cool. Be good to earn some money.”
“Just be careful.”
“Why?”
Vaughan put thought into his phrasing. “Amber is great and all, but you don’t want to end up like her.”
“I thought you liked Amber.”
“Sure, I like Amber. I like her a lot.”
“But you’re telling me not to end up like her.”
“I am. She’s a bit… She’s Amber. She’s odd.”
Ben nodded, striding over, bouncing the ball. “Keep playing?”
“Nah, you’ve kicked my butt enough for one day. Playing against you is much harder than I like to work generally.”
“Do you think you two will stay together? You and Amber?”
“Not sure it’s my choice.”
Ben helped Vaughan to his feet.
“I don’t know if it helps at all, you know, with all this waiting and stuff, but I find the more I focus on tomorrow the less I enjoy today. And tomorrow.”
They wandered out of the hall, locking up behind them.
“I know you’re anxious for this whatever it is to start, but it will probably be better if you just chill and let it happen.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Ben said, his words agreeing even if his tone didn’t.
9
“God, Mum. Why are we doing this?”
“For goodness sake, Megan. Do you have to complain about every little thing?” Joan turned to Ben. “You probably don’t realise this, Ben, but there was a time when your Mum loved to get dressed up. Love it. It was her favourite thing to do in the whole world.”
“Yeah, because I was going out. Not dressing up to stay home like a lunatic.”
They were sitting around the owner’s cottage in Paradise by the Bay, all four of them. Megan, Ben, Joan and Amber. All of them dressed up nicely. Ben even in a shirt with a collar.
“Remind me to get some photos later,” Joan said.
“Oh, great. There goes another three hours of my life I’ll never get back.”
Joan stopped, resting her hands on her ample hips. “Megan, you are not going to ruin this for all of us. This is Ben’s special night, and we’re going to celebrate in style. He has finished school. It’s a big step in the young man’s life.”
“I swear, Mum, if you start crying, I’m done.”
Amber smiled, content, the bickering warm and familiar, like a favourite blanket. She hadn’t been in the owner’s cottage as much of late. She wasn’t exactly sure why. There was something there. A tension. Although possibly she was imagining it.
“I just don’t see why we couldn’t have celebrated in our normal clothes,” Megan went on.
“It’s nice to get dressed up sometimes.”
“Did you even ask Ben if he wanted this? He probably wanted to go out with his mates or something.”
“No, it’s all right. This is… Nice. Thanks, Joan.”
“Traitor…” Megan muttered.
As Joan returned to the stove, Megan’s phone beeped. Whatever the message was, it prompted a substantial smile.
“Anything important?” Amber asked as casually as possible, unable to stop herself.
“None of your business, Beetroot.”
Megan had delighted in calling her ‘Beetroot’ ever since Amber arrived back from the Gomez tracking job heavily sunburnt. The sunburn hurt, but no one had mentioned the strangulation marks around her neck, so the plan had worked. Both would go down in a few days.
Megan and her phone though… Between them they were challenging Amber’s Chill Amber persona.
Megan had been fixated with the device of late. Constant messages back and forth. Who —
Amber caught herself. Actively she did her best not to engage. Stupid. So easy to get caught up in the familiar patterns. That was old Amber, who had to know everything. Like a lot in life, Chill Amber was simple when things were going well. There were times Amber actually quite enjoyed her new persona. Then there would be something like this - a burning desire to know who Megan was messaging and being Chill Amber became incredibly challenging.
She took a deep breath and refocused. It was none of her business who Megan was chatting with and it didn’t matter.
Joan returned to the table. “Right, everything will be about twenty minutes.”
“Oh, Mum! What are we doing here now then?”
“Hush, Megan. I thought we could go around the room and each give our favourite memory of Ben.”
“Or we could just stick forks in our eyes. No one wants to do that, you crazy old woman.”
Joan pushed on, undaunted. “I’ll go first. I remember when Ben was four. He was cute as a button, the little guy…”
Megan buried her head under her arms.
Amber tuned the older woman out. She had heard this story many times before. They all had. They could probably join in, almost word for word. The smile was just holding on Ben’s face as he tried to humour his grandmother, nodding like this was all brand-new.
What would Amber say in regards to memories about Ben? She could bring up the time she almost shot Ben, mistaking him for a drug smuggler. Or the time he stormed a warehouse with no weapon because Amber was being held at gunpoint. How about when the two of them rescued Joan from a demented boyfriend, intent on slicing her to pieces on his fishing boat? She reset her mind once more, none of those stories very Chill Amber.
In the end it didn’t matter. Joan finished and no one else seemed interested in playing or offering stories, so Joan changed tack.
“Are you excited? To finish school?”
“Umm, sure. It’s great.”
“Sure is. Your whole life in front of you.”
Megan’s phone beeped again.
“Megan, will you put that thing away, please.”
She didn’t, messaging whoever it was right back.
Joan rolled her eyes. “I thought it was you young ones who were meant to be rude and obsessed with your phones,” she said to Ben. “You should be excited. Do you have any idea what you might do for a career?”
“Yeah, some. Some.”
“Well, don’t keep us in suspense.”
“I thought I might, you know… Get a job with Amber.”
That got Megan’s attention.
10
The resulting silence hung heavily in the room.
“A job with Amber?” Joan said eventually.
“Yep.”
“In… logistics?”
“Yes.”
Megan and Joan looked at him, then at her. No clue this was coming.
“You’re very quiet for once, Beetroot,” Megan said. “What you have to say about all this?”
“We might have an opening coming up. At Diamond Logistics. It’s his choice. He would be good at it though.”
For a second it wasn’t clear what was going to happen. Then Megan’s phone beeped, distracting her once again.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Joan asked.
Megan shrugged, not looking up. “Me? What you want me to say? It’s better if he has a job than if he plays that stupid Xbox all day.”
Joan stomped back to the kitchen. Ordinarily, Amber would have been concerned at the extra vigour Joan attacked the final stages of dinner preparation, but she was Chill Amber now and really, Chill Amber couldn’t care.
After dinner, she and Ben stood outside the owner’s cottage. Joan was watching them. Amber could feel it even if she couldn’t see Joan spying. She was confident the older woman couldn’t hear them though. Still, they kept their voices low.
“That went okay,” Ben said.
“You could have warned me it was coming.”
“I didn’t know it was coming.”
“Fair enough.”
The pleasant night air settled around them. Would Amber ever be able to return to a climate where a jumper and a coat were necessities at night? It was hard to see how.
“God, your Mum and that ph
one at the moment.”
Ben chuckled.
“Any idea who’s messaging her so much?”
He shook his head.
“Don’t know, don’t care?”
“Something like that. What do you reckon Joan’s thinking?”
“About what?”
“Me. The job.”
“I don’t know.”
“Should we… talk to her about it?”
“Why?”
“Oh, you know. After what happened with Ted and all that.”
Amber shook her head. “Ted was a drug smuggler. I don’t think she has made any connection between that and what I do for a living.”
“She’s not stupid.”
“No. And I’m not suggesting she is. It’s something we can address down the line if we need to.”
Ben nodded, kicking at the grass with his bare toe. “When do you —”
“I don’t know, Ben. I still don’t have any idea. Just like the last time you asked me and the time before that.”
“Will it be more training? Or —”
“I don’t know. It will be whatever Mother decides.”
“On that last job you did, she didn’t say anything?”
Amber shook her head.
“Could you, you know, like, ring her or something?”
“That’s not how it works. It’s not how she works.”
“But surely this is different.”
“How?”
“Well, I mean, it’s not like a new mission or something. It’s…”
Amber put a hand on his arm. “Ben, there’s nothing we can do. This is Mother. She works at her own pace. Think of this as training because if you ever end up working for Diamond Logistics you will get plenty of practice waiting for Mother, believe me.”
“If I end up?”
This brought a smile to Amber’s face. “That’s not what I meant or how I meant it. Those days you stayed at the Diamond Logistics facility, you did extremely well. Mother was most impressed. That’s about the best you can hope for at this point. I know it’s hard. You just have to be patient.”
“Do you think I’ll have to stay there again sometime? The facility?”