Jealous Storm

by Jack Stroke

“Both. Neither. Does it matter?”

  “Was any of it real?”

  “How do you know it wasn’t all real?”

  “Amber said —”

  “This should be good.”

  “— to be careful. That you like playing games.”

  “Me?”

  “You and Mother.”

  “That sounds like Amber.”

  “So, was it real?”

  “Of course. Every mission is a test. Every test is a mission.”

  “Yeah, but —“

  “Walk me through it.”

  “What?”

  “The big conspiracy theory. How would it work?”

  “I don’t know.” Ben pushed through feeling like he was about two inches tall. “Maybe it was a setup.”

  “A lot of trouble to go to. The Teslas. This private jet. How many people were at that party?”

  “Maybe not the whole party. Maybe…”

  “Is this what you’ve been doing this entire time? Searching for cracks? Going over every little detail? Why would we do that?”

  “Some sort of test.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, Benny boy, you’re welcome to believe whatever you want. Looking for cracks isn’t a real good use of your time though, unless you want to go nuts. But real, fake. Does it matter in the end?”

  “Yes, it does.”

  “Not if the question is whether you would go through with it or not.”

  The low drone of the engine filled the quiet.

  “But what if I want to know if she really died?”

  “More questions. You’re focusing on the wrong things again. It’s not really about her, is it? It’s about you and what you are willing to do. Remind me again, what is it we do at Diamond Logistics?”

  “Yeah, but —”

  “That’s the one and only thing you need to remember.”

  “You’re an absolute pain to talk to, you know that?”

  “Good. Get used to it.”

  They didn’t converse again for the remainder of the flight.

  62

  Amber wandered into the owner’s cottage early the next morning. Joan was in the kitchen listening to talkback.

  “Hi, Joan.”

  “Hello.”

  “I hear Ben is getting home today?”

  “That’s what he said.” Joan wouldn’t look at her.

  “Everything all right, Joan? I thought we were all good. I’m going to freeze to death with how cold you’re being.”

  The older woman stopped what she was doing and turned. “For such a nice girl you can be terribly cruel, Amber.”

  “What did I do?”

  “Dinner last night. Megan said you spent the entire time pointing out what a loser Ellis is. How he has never done anything with his life.”

  “No, I was just trying to be friendly. Make conversation.”

  “Megan makes poor decisions, I get that. But she doesn’t need her face rubbed in it.”

  “I swear, Joan, that’s not what I was doing. Or not what I was trying to do.”

  “Well, she’s not happy.”

  “That might be true, but I really don’t think it’s my fault this time. Listen, can you let me know as soon as Ben gets here? Like the very moment? I need to talk to him.”

  “You too? That’s exactly what Ellis said.”

  Uh oh. Amber’s stomach did a flip.

  “Please stop pacing. I’m not sure the floor can take it.”

  They were in cabin six, she and Vaughan. He was sitting on the bed.

  “You don’t understand.”

  “Wow, you’re gonna have to get that on a T-shirt or something. It’s like your catchphrase. At least to me.”

  Amber breathed, ignoring the inner voice imploring her to stay quiet. “There are things in my past. Things I did fifteen, twenty years ago that weren’t great.”

  “We all do things fifteen, twenty years ago that weren’t great.”

  “What, you did things you regret when you were twelve?”

  Vaughan smiled softly, patient as ever with her. “We have all done things we regret.”

  “Not like this. Not that Ben would understand.”

  “Sure about that? He’s a smart guy. Even if he is determined to follow in his godmother’s footsteps.”

  Amber tried to sit. It wasn’t easy, but she managed. “I know he’s smart.”

  “Then trust him.”

  She was going to say ‘you don’t understand’ but caught herself. Vaughan put a hand on her knee, gently stopping it jittering up and down. It was coming. He had to ask. He would want to know. What she had done. What could make her so nervous. What could turn Ben against her.

  Except he didn’t ask.

  “How do you do that?”

  “What?”

  “Know when to press and when to just leave it.”

  “There’s not a lot of point pressing you to tell me anything, Amber. You tell me what you want to tell me.”

  “And you’re okay with that?”

  “What choice do I have?”

  Silence crept over them. A comforting silence that relaxed Amber. She stroked his forearms, pressing his soft hair the wrong direction.

  “I’m not Lion.”

  “Clearly. He never complains when he’s being patted. You know I really tried to be Chill Amber.”

  “There’s your problem right there.”

  She looked at him.

  “There’s no point trying to be something, especially something you’re not. I mean, you can do it, but it will only last so long. You just have to be.”

  “So, kill Chill Amber?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Maybe I could be WWVD instead.”

  “WWVD?”

  “What Would Vaughan Do?”

  “Cool. Although that would involve, you know, listening to me. Taking on board what I have to say.”

  She punched him in the ribs. Just lightly. What would she do without him?

  63

  A whole welcoming committee was waiting when the Tesla pulled up. Vaughan had wanted to leave so not to overwhelm the poor kid, but to both their surprise Amber asked him to stay.

  Ellis was there, jockeying for position like a serious competitor at the start of a fun run. Megan and Joan were with him.

  And even Grubby was hanging about, wanting another look at the Tesla and still holding out hope for it to run out of power.

  Shake got out first. “Very nice of you all to come out and see me. Thank you.”

  Not terribly well versed in sarcasm, Grubby spoke up. “No one’s here to see you, mate.” He rolled his eyes at anyone who would make eye contact. “So how far did ya get the other day?”

  “I don’t understand,” Shake said.

  “Before you broke down.”

  “I didn’t break down.”

  Grubby appeared heartbroken. “Didn’t you need a charge?”

  “No. I’ve got no idea what gave you that idea.”

  Ben’s door opened, drawing all the focus to him. He appeared tired, except more than that. Different somehow. Weary. Everyone pushed forward, overwhelming him.

  Amber pulled Shake aside. “How’d our boy do?”

  Shake gave her a sympathetic eyebrow raise, making it clear it’d been a tough few days for everyone. “Good as can be expected. He’s a good kid.”

  “Ben. Look who’s here,” Megan said. “Your father.”

  “I know, Mum. I can see him.”

  “Hey, son.”

  “Ben is fine. No need to call me son.”

  “No worries, Ben. You got big.”

  “Happens when you only show your face every five years or so.”

  Ellis let out a forced laugh. “Could we have a quick word?”

  Ben’s eyes found Amber, trying to communicate something.

  “How about we just let Ben get home and settle first?” Amber said.

  “You would say that,” Ellis said.

  “He
’s not your son, Amber,” Megan chimed in.

  “I know that, but he can speak for himself.”

  “Settling in sounds nice,” Ben said. “But I need to talk to Amber before I do anything else.”

  “Ben, don’t be rude,” Megan said. “You can speak to Amber anytime. We don’t know how long your Dad will be here for.”

  Ellis turned on Megan. “I thought you wanted me to hang around.”

  “Yeah, I do. I dunno. Yeah.”

  Vaughan gave Amber’s hand a little squeeze. A squeeze that reassured her. Told her it was okay and to let go. At least, that’s what Amber got out of it. He possibly just squeezed her hand. Time to be the bigger person.

  “It’s okay, Ben. Maybe talk to Ellis first, if he really wants to.”

  Triumphant, Ellis put his arm around Ben’s shoulder and led him towards cabin three. Amber knew instantly she had made a terrible mistake. Doing the right thing can be like that.

  “What?” Grubby said, confused and aggressive. He and Shake had taken a few steps away.

  “Oh, do try and keep up, bumpkin,” Shake said. “I said, would you like a go?”

  “And I said, would I like a go in a Tesla? Hell yeah!”

  “In that case all you have to do is save up enough to buy yourself one. Shouldn’t take it along to save enough for a Tesla, should it?”

  This was all too much for Grubby, who looked to Amber and Vaughan, totally confused.

  “Just ignore him, Grubby. Shake, don’t be mean.”

  Joan clutched Amber’s arm. “Amber, did he look different to you?”

  Clearly Amber wasn’t the only one who noticed.

  “Different how?”

  “I don’t know. Different. In the eyes.”

  Vaughan nodded as well.

  “How can you look different in the eyes? Honestly, Mum. He’s been gone three days.” Megan stomped away towards the owner’s cottage.

  “Maybe I imagined it,” Joan said with a worried look before following her daughter.

  “I’m just messing with you, bumpkin,” Shake said.

  “Who’s this bumpkin? Me name’s Grubby.”

  “Really? That’s even better.” Shake let out a booming laugh. “Well, Grubby, would you like to come for a ride?”

  Grubby’s eyes lit up. “For reals?”

  “For reals. And if you’re a good boy I might even let you drive some.”

  He didn’t need to be asked twice. Grubby was practically in the Tesla before Shake finished his sentence.

  “What about you, Amber’s boyfriend? Would you like to come for a drive with us?”

  Amber didn’t care for his tone. Like Shake had a fresh weapon to use on her.

  “Go,” she said to Vaughan.

  “You sure?”

  “Yes. Have fun. Just don’t listen to any of Shake’s garbage.”

  “Come on then,” Grubby called from the car. “Don’t have all day.”

  “Relax. It’ll be all right, okay?” Vaughan said. “Trust Ben.”

  Amber agreed she needed to trust Ben. It was the ‘it’ll be all right’ part she wasn’t so sure about.

  64

  The forty-five-minute wait was one of the most agonising of Amber’s life. She wanted to do something to get her mind off it all but couldn’t bring herself to do anything except sit there and fret.

  Finally there was a knock, and Ben appeared at her door. They headed across the road to the beach. Amber attempted to stay as calm as possible.

  “Is it true?” Ben asked once they hit the sand. “What he said?”

  “Ellis? I wasn’t there, so I have no idea what he said. I imagine there is some truth to it though.”

  “Did you pull a gun on him in some hotel room?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you threatened to kill him? To kill my father?”

  “I don’t remember…”

  “Amber.”

  “It was a long time ago. It’s quite possible though. I did pull the gun. I can’t recall exactly what I said, but something along those lines.”

  Ben waited for her to go on, looking at his feet.

  “I’m not defending myself, okay? Not making excuses. Just giving you context. He was cheating on your Mum. With multiple people. You were two-years-old or something. I snapped. Just reacted.”

  “Reacted and stopped me having a father all these years?”

  “Probably. I wasn’t thinking. It’s inexcusable.”

  “He says that’s why he left. Because you threatened him.”

  “I’m pretty sure I told him to go and never see the two of you again.”

  “Why did you do that?”

  “I wish I had a good reason for you, Ben. I was young, not that that’s an excuse. I was older than you are now. Not as smart. It seemed like the right thing to do. For you. For Megan.”

  “You were faced with a choice…”

  “Yep.”

  “And did what was right in the moment.”

  “Or thought I did.”

  Ben nodded. “I know how that goes.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “The mission?” Ben shook his head.

  This was in stark contrast to the young man who had just completed training at the Diamond Logistics facility and couldn’t bring himself to stop talking about it, even if he had wanted to. What the heck had gone on? Much as she wanted to know, Amber took a leaf from Vaughan’s book and held her tongue. Ben would talk about it in good time, when he was ready.

  They wandered in silence for a long stretch, water lapping at their ankles.

  “It might not have made much difference,” Ben said finally.

  “What?”

  “Whatever you said or did in that hotel room. Ellis doesn’t strike me as the type to hang around anyway. Maybe you provided a good excuse for him to leave.”

  “Maybe. Thank you. But I shouldn’t have done it regardless. Even if I thought he was bad for you and your Mum, it wasn’t my decision to make.”

  Ben nodded again, lost in thought. Amber watched him sadly. This is what she had been concerned about. Part of Ben had died in a few days since she’d last seen him. Part of him that was now gone forever.

  Had she made the right choice letting him get mixed up with Mother and Diamond Logistics? The fact it wasn’t really a choice didn’t help set Amber’s mind at ease.

  65

  This was a big thing. Definitely big.

  Amber asked Vaughan to stay over in cabin six. This was after the boys got back from their joyride in the Tesla, Grubby as high as a kite. After, they had invited Shake to stay for dinner, but he declined, saying he had to get back, still looking at Amber like he had a brand new weapon in his arsenal.

  She had stayed on Vaughan’s boat plenty of times, but allowing him into her space for the night was something entirely different. New.

  To Vaughan’s credit, he didn’t say anything or make a fuss. When Amber suggested it, doing her best not to appear flustered, he accepted it like it was the most natural development in the world. She had to hide her Sig so he didn’t accidentally stumble across it while they slept. Not that he moved much when he slept. Right now he was a bit too close, their legs touching, making her too warm. It was irritating and yet she liked it at the same time. She liked his presence right there with her.

  She watched the slow rise and fall of his chest. Vaughan had drifted off to sleep straight away after sex, that way he tended to do. Content. Calm mind.

  By contrast, Amber’s mind was a storm, even now things were good. Grubby was going to be an issue. More finding out what Amber needed to know without revealing much about who she was and Diamond Logistics. Grubby himself was essentially harmless. Trouble was he had a big mouth. Let the wrong things slip and half of Port Simmons would end up knowing. Regardless, she was going to get to the bottom of this pink heroin business. Whatever it took.

  She thought about Ben too. What he got himself into and where he might end up. Vaughan was r
ight to be concerned about him turning out like her. Or Shake. She tried not to worry because it was something she couldn’t control.

  This led to thoughts of Mother and what she might have in store for Amber.

  Finally, her thoughts drifted to Ellis, and for the first time she didn’t flinch or shy away from memories of him. He could stay in Paradise Cove for all Amber cared. All those years of pain and worry and fear, so concerning for so long, disintegrated and floated away, like dust on the wind. He couldn’t hurt Amber anymore. That made her happy.

  Not long after this realisation she stopped thinking altogether.

  66

  Ben was wide awake, sitting on his bed. His room seemed even smaller now. Everything had changed. He had changed and yet his room was exactly the same. The posters on the wall all so childish now. From a distant past.

  His laptop warmed his thighs. He had been searching for hours. For what exactly he wasn’t sure. Proof maybe? Validation?

  Movement grabbed his attention. Slowly his bedroom door crept open, just enough for a wrinkled hand to reach through and turn off his light.

  “Joan…”

  His grandmother flinched, banging into the door. The light came back on.

  “Sorry, Ben. I thought you were asleep.”

  “I’m not.”

  “You do that sometimes, fall asleep with your light on. If I get up I switch it off.”

  “Okay.”

  She came in and stood by his bed. She was wearing her ragged old nightgown. Maybe he could buy her some pyjamas for Christmas. The nightie left nothing to the imagination. It was okay as long as Ben kept his eyes on Joan’s face.

  “Can’t sleep?”

  “Just not asleep yet.”

  She indicated to the laptop. “Playing games?”

  “Looking for information about some guy. Jakob Baumer.”

  “Never heard of him. Is he from Port Simmons?”

  “No. He’s an arms dealer. Or human trafficker or something.”

  “Doesn’t sound very nice.”

  “I think his daughter just died. But I can’t find anything about it. Or him actually. Maybe it’s just… I don’t know.”

  Joan nodded but didn’t go anywhere. Ben shut the laptop, waiting for her to say whatever was on her mind.