by Unknown
I slipped on my sunglasses, grabbed my purse and locked the car. At least Dee seemed cheerful, for once. ‘Okay?’ I bent to ask the little girl. She stared up at me and gave a little shrug. It was a reaction of sorts, I supposed.
Leo stopped to let us catch up with him by the entrance of the yard where two rows of tightly packed stalls were set up.
‘You’re right. I remember Mum bringing us here when we were small.’ He stepped back to avoid two elderly ladies who were marching towards a nearby second-hand clothes stall. ‘You take your life in your hands coming here, don’t you?’ he said, watching them shuffling on their way.
‘You do. There are a lot of determined people,’ I said quietly when we were next to him. ‘I couldn’t wait to come again when I returned from the north.’
He nodded towards my favourite stall that had also been one of his mother’s chosen shopping spots. ‘I can almost picture Mum standing over there,’ he said, his voice catching.
‘She loved the skirts and tops that girl used to bring from her buying trips to India. Do you remember?’
He nodded. ‘I do. I seem to recall you always banging on about this place, too.’
I breathed in the heady scents of the market. A mixture of lavender and geraniums took me back to when I was small at this very spot. In fact, the wizened little man serving at the stall was the same one from my childhood. I watched him deftly counting change for a customer. He didn’t look all that different to when I’d first come here.
We walked through the crowds looking at everything from brightly painted pottery to straw baskets with colourful ribbons threaded through the weaving. I breathed in the patchouli and sandalwood from the clothes I liked to buy and was about to pick a fabric bag to check it, when Ashley pulled me towards the second-hand book store.
Happy to see her enjoying her visit to the market, I willingly went with her and watched her looking through the books. She moved several. Picking them up, she breathed in the familiar smell of an old book, closing her eyes in recognition; it was a strange thing for someone as young as her to do. She checked the front and back covers of other books, unsatisfied with them, putting them down again. Eventually, she found one I recognised from my own childhood and held it up to me. I took it from her and smiled.
‘What Katy Did by Susan Coolidge. I remember my mum reading this to me many times.’ I couldn’t picture Dee taking the time to do the same and wondered if maybe it had been a book she’d enjoyed at school. ‘Do you want this?’
Her lips drew back slightly giving the hint of a smile. I was so delighted to see her reaction that I hugged her. ‘All right then.’ I was finally getting somewhere with this child and it thrilled me.
I left her slowly turning the pages and looked for one I might want to read. I chose a battered copy of Jane Eyre and a couple of Georgette Heyer books I recalled reading when I was younger. After haggling briefly with the stallholder, I paid him and gratefully accepted the plastic bag with my books inside. I looked forward to reading those over the next couple of weeks. I couldn’t see Leo or Dee anywhere, so took Ashley’s hand and went to look at the next stall.
‘Having fun?’ he asked about fifteen minutes later. ‘That’s new, isn’t it?’ He lifted the bottom of the striped material shoulder bag I’d treated myself to. ‘It’s already filled with stuff,’ he teased. ‘It weighs a ton.’
‘Rubbish, we’ve only bought a few things,’ I joked. ‘Anyway, I’ve wanted one similar to this for ages.’
‘And it suits you,’ he said. ‘You’re a bit of a hippy at heart, aren’t you?’
Thinking about it, he had a point. ‘Come on, we’d better see where Dee’s got to.’
We found her holding up a thirties vase with a yellow-and-black geometrical pattern on the front. ‘That’s gorgeous,’ I said.
She stared at me and, handing the vase to Leo, took Ashley’s hand from mine.
‘Dee,’ Leo didn’t bother to hide the determination in his voice. ‘Sera bought Ashley a lovely book.’
Dee closed her eyes in irritation for a few seconds, then opened them and smiled at him. She pointed at the vase. ‘Will you buy this for me?’
I couldn’t help being taken aback by her odd reaction, and that she didn’t have money of her own. There was no point in arguing with her, so I moved away and focused my attention on a delicate, silver-plated toast rack. Ashley picked up an elephant-shaped egg cup with her free hand.
‘That would be perfect for your breakfast egg and soldiers,’ I said. She frowned and I wished I could speak French. ‘Shall we ask Mummy if you can have it?’
She glanced at Dee out of the corner of her eye, seeing her deep in conversation with Leo. Ashley shook her head.
‘I don’t think she’d mind,’ I whispered, not very convinced by my assurances.
‘Non.’
I was so unused to hearing her voice that I hesitated before replying. ‘Um, okay, then,’ I said, saddened by her refusal. ‘If you’re sure?’
We looked at a few more stalls, but the intensity of the heat was becoming overbearing. I noticed Ashley wiping her forehead and becoming fretful. I was more concerned about the child than offending Dee, so asked if I could take Ashley to buy a drink.
Dee nodded and let go of the child’s hand. ‘Don’t go far, will you?’
‘No,’ I assured her and quickly led Ashley to the shade under a tree at the other end of the market. ‘Drink?’ I asked, raising my cupped hand to my mouth. She needed to keep hydrated on such a hot day. She gave me a vacant stare. ‘I’ll get us some water.’
I took her to a stall and bought us a bottle of chilled water each. ‘Make sure you drink all of that today,’ I said, pulling the top off and downing half my own bottle. I poured a little into my hand and wiped my face and the back of my neck.
I checked my watch. I needed to start for home soon. I was hoping to spend a few hours working on several signs that I was holding on consignment at my studio. I caught Leo’s eye and held up my car keys. He nodded and scanned the market for Dee. Eventually, they came over to us, Dee smiling and holding up two bags.
‘That’s a beautiful vase,’ I said, happy that she had enjoyed our outing.
‘I’ve also found a couple of cushions for our beds,’ she said, indicating the larger bag. ‘They’re a wonderful burnt orange colour.’
We had been there nearly an hour and were all hot and sticky. I didn’t relish the uncomfortable drive home again, but hoped they had all enjoyed their outing.
‘Ready to go?’ I asked, fanning my face with my hand. She didn’t argue so we loaded the car and got in. The sun had moved, and the car was no longer in the shade. ‘Sorry about the car,’ I winced, sitting on my hot seat.
* * *
The drive home seemed to take much longer in the strong heat of the midday sun. None of us spoke and Dee and Ashley dozed off as I drove. I was relieved Katie hadn’t wanted to come too because she would have had to cram in the back seat along with the other two.
Leo and I each had an arm out of our respective windows, doing our best to cool down as much as possible. ‘It’s at times like these I wouldn’t mind having a pool in the garden.’
‘A paddling pool would do for me right now,’ Leo said, turning my paltry air-conditioning up full blast.
‘Or a bottle of water.’
‘Anything at all,’ he laughed.
‘We’ll have to settle for a cold shower and a glass of something.’
Freshly showered and changed into a thin cotton top and shorts, I left them with Mum at home and drove to my studio. The concrete walls kept the temperature low. It could be too cold at times, especially in the winter. Today, though, the space gave a welcome relief from the heat of the market earlier. Seeing all the stalls had inspired me and I couldn’t wait for the next time I was at my stall in the village square later that week.
I completed a small job and then collected Katie from pre-school, going home to join the others who were enjoying a
drink with Mum in the shade in the garden.
Dee seemed a little more focused tonight and was beginning to relax. Even her demeanour seemed calmer. I hoped she’d enjoyed our trip to the market and was feeling a little more at home.
‘I was wondering if we could arrange to take the girls out somewhere together this weekend,’ she suggested, taking me by surprise.
‘I’d love that,’ I said enthused. ‘We could maybe go for a walk in the wood near your old farm. If it’s still this hot, we could swim in the pool there. Do you remember it?’ I asked hopefully, recalling Dee’s vehement objection about visiting the farm.
She frowned, her eyes glazing over. Then, after a moment’s hesitation Dee smiled. ‘I do. I was going to buy it and live there with my husband.’
‘Yes,’ I shrieked, unable to contain my excitement that she was finally reminiscing with me. ‘And I was going to be the only person you invited to visit.’
She giggled. ‘I remember.’ She stared down at the space in front of her. ‘I remember,’ she whispered, lost in her own world again.
I could see Leo tense as he watched her mood changing. ‘It’s lovely and shady,’ I said, not wishing the atmosphere to drop yet again. ‘So we won’t get sunburnt.’
‘Would you like that, Ashley?’ Dee asked, with enthusiasm. The little girl stared at her, her expression uncertain. Dee turned back to me and smiled tightly. ‘She’d love to, but she’ll probably have to borrow a swimming costume from Katie.’
I willed Dee to be a little less intense with her daughter, but at least she was happy now. I didn’t know what had brought about her unexpected change of mood, but I wasn’t going to chance ruining it by asking her. I was relieved to experience a hint of how my old friend used to be.
‘We could make some sandwiches and take a little picnic,’ she suggested. ‘You’d like that, girls, wouldn’t you?’
Katie nodded enthusiastically. Ashley sucked her thumb and gave Katie a sideways glance.
‘I’ve bought some ice creams if you girls want one,’ I said.
Katie jumped up and down. ‘Yes, please, Mummy. Can me and Ashley go and get them?’
I laughed. ‘You can’t reach the freezer compartment, you know that.’ I tickled her. I smiled at Ashley. ‘Do you like ice cream?’ For a second I thought she was about to cry, but was relieved when she simply nodded. ‘Good, I’ll get you both one.’
I could hear Katie’s excited voice. ‘You’ll love them, Ashley. Mummy buys strawberry and chocolate ice creams and they taste yummy.’
I couldn’t help thinking that Dee and Leo’s strange demeanour was beginning to crack. I had spotted the occasional hint of the old Dee. Now that she was thawing would I finally be about to get to the bottom of why they had left so abruptly?
Chapter Thirteen
1990 – London
Mimi
My meeting in the dingy Soho backstreet office went well. At least I hoped it had. Mr Collins, or Gerald, as he’d insisted I call him, assured me he could find me work.
‘It won’t be as exciting as you might think,’ he said, eyeing me up and down after I’d finished my brief audition. ‘And I want you to have a few photos taken to, you know, show off different aspects of your, um, personality. Then I’m certain I’ll find you something.’ He hesitated. ‘In the meantime, you’ll need to find a job to tide you over.’
‘Oh.’ I couldn’t hide my disappointment. I’d expected him to send me off to one of the impressive theatres in London with a note in my hand to start work immediately. Fool. I recalled my mother’s high-pitched voice mocking me about the lacklustre future she swore would be mine.
‘You’ll end up back here within a month,’ she’d warned, a spiteful gleam in her eyes. ‘Then you can get yourself down to the leather factory, like your sister and me, and forget about all this nonsense.’
Gerald shook his head. ‘You girls, you’re all the same; dreamers, the lot of you.’ He wrote a few notes on the pad on his large oak desk. Picking up a business card from a small holder, he turned it over and scribbled a name and address. Handing it to me, he said, ‘A friend of mine runs this club, she’ll give you work, but she’ll expect you to turn up looking immaculate at all times.’
I forced a smile, relieved not to have to resort to waitressing in the grubby café where Hazel spent so much of her time working for a pittance. ‘Thank you.’
He picked up a fat cigar, clipped one end off and rolled it between his index finger and thumb as he held it up to his ear. Satisfied, he placed it in his mouth and flicked a gold lighter, puffing away on the cigar to light it. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to leave, so waited for him to speak.
‘You haven’t seen the place yet.’ He laughed. ‘I’ll get word to you if anything comes up, but if you don’t hear from me before, pop back next Monday morning. We’ll chat again then.’
‘Yes, Mr Collins,’ I said, hypnotised by the swirling thick smoke above his desk. ‘I mean, Gerald.’
He rubbed his jowly chin. ‘If I do get you some acting work, you’re going to have to change your name. Mimi just doesn’t sound professional enough.’
‘My real name is Maureen,’ I said. ‘Will that do? I’m willing to change it to anything you like.’
‘I’ll give it some thought.’ He looked me up and down. ‘How tall are you?’
‘Five feet seven.’
He made a note on the pad in front of him. ‘You could certainly play the cool blonde to perfection, if your acting skills are as good as I hope. You’ll be great playing the all-American girl. Since Michelle Pfeiffer and Heather Locklear became famous, there’s been a liking for others with those blonde, sporty looks. You’ll fit the part well.’
I couldn’t hide my delight. ‘I’d love that.’
‘Fine.’ He waved me away. ‘I’ll do my best.’
I thanked him, yet again, and hurried out. Relieved to be away from the smoky atmosphere, I leant against the office door to inspect his scrawl. I vaguely recognised the name of the club and wondered if I’d read about it in one of the society magazines.
Whatever this job was, it would be better than dragging myself back home. These might be small steps, I decided, but it was infinitely better than working in the factory. Whatever my mother predicted about my future, I had no intention of ever going back, however desperate things got in London.
‘He must really like you,’ Hazel said, when I called in quickly for a cup of tea during her short break. ‘Vince never even introduced me to Mr Collins.’ She stuck out her lower lip. ‘I can’t help being a teeny bit jealous of you. You’ve only just arrived and already you’re on your way.’
‘I am, aren’t I?’ I said, not feeling as positive as I was making out. ‘And it’s all down to you, Hazel. If you hadn’t taken me with you to meet Vince I wouldn’t be about to go and get a job in a glamorous club.’
She gave me a smile that bordered on a grimace. ‘Yeah, cool.’
* * *
‘But that’s nothing more than a bathing suit,’ moaned a tall girl next to me in the scruffy room that only had one mirror and a couple of working bulbs either side of it that was supposedly our dressing room. She glowered at me when I didn’t back her up to the blousy manageress. ‘We’re supposed to be cocktail waitresses.’
‘Some of you are.’ The manageress studied the prospective employees lined up in front of her, the black-painted sweep above her large eyes adding to her menacing gaze. It was hard to know what she really looked like under all her make-up. She was terrifying, but I was certain her elaborate dress must have cost a fortune. However much this wasn’t what I’d hoped for, I decided I couldn’t afford to knock back the only job I’d been offered.
I smiled at her. ‘Do we all have to wear the costumes?’ I asked, indicating two other girls in bright cocktail dresses.
‘Not everyone,’ she said, sizing me up. ‘Everyone starts the same way, as a waitress. If I see something in you I like, a spark, you’ll soon be promoted.’ S
he nodded sagely. ‘You’ll be allowed to mix with the clientele if that happens, and yes, you’ll be given a cocktail dress to wear.’
I would simply have to ensure I was promoted then, and soon. I’d heard about Hollywood producers coming to these nightspots and meeting waitresses they then turned into the ‘next big thing’. If I wanted to look the part when I met this miraculous person, I was going to need the right dress. This was the only way I could think of where I’d get the chance to do both. Hazel would be so envious.
After two nights doing my best to be sparkly and glamorous at the club, I wasn’t sure if Hazel could ever be persuaded to swap places with me. The hours were long, and it was a constant battle to avoid the sweaty hands that grabbed whatever part of me they could reach as I passed or stop to serve drinks. I was beginning to think that maybe I wasn’t going to stick it out. On the third night, just as I was giving a particularly revolting customer a pinch on his flabby hand, I looked up and saw Vince leaning against the bar watching me. He smiled, his amusement at my retaliation to the hand obvious on his handsome face.
Determined not to reveal my delight at seeing him there, I stuck my nose in the air and walked up to the bar. I placed my tray down near to him ready for the barman to reload it with fresh cocktails.
‘I didn’t know you frequented this place,’ I said, trying my best to sound as mature as possible.
‘I don’t very often, but I thought I’d better check up on my protégée.’
I couldn’t help beaming at him, all thoughts of acting cool in front of him vanishing at his words. It felt good to belong even in a tiny way to someone other than my family. I was about to say something, when I noticed his attention being drawn away from me. Jealous, I turned to see who it could be. It was a man. I couldn’t miss the dark shadows under his eyes, his expression wretched. He averted his gaze and stared at the floor.
I glanced at Vince. He was still, like a cat deciding whether to pounce on its prey. His eyes narrowed. A chill ran down my spine at the force of his stare. Sobered by his reaction, I realised then that Vince wasn’t a man to cross. Which was just as well, because I would be heartbroken to be on the receiving end of such cold disdain. I determined never to give him cause to be angry with me.