by Unknown
‘What’s in it?’ she asked.
‘No idea.’
She snatched it from me and studied it. ‘Your mum sealed it. Come on, let’s sneak into the house and steam it open.’
‘We can’t,’ I snapped, reaching to take it. Dee swung away from me and held it high before tugging gently at the top to try and peak inside.
‘Typical of your mum to use a fancy thick envelope we can’t see through,’ Dee moaned.
It was. I squinted up through the trees at the cornflower blue sky. ‘I don’t care if Hazel’s writing, my mum will kill me if I don’t deliver this letter today.’
‘Fine. We’ll smoke this tomorrow then.’ She sighed heavily and got up.
We hurried to the farm. Leo was just arriving at the edge of the wood, waving a stick to knock the blood-red petals from the poppies standing in his path.
‘Don’t do that, you moron,’ Dee shouted, pushing his shoulder, grabbing the stick and throwing it away from him.
‘Hey, that’s mine.’
‘Tough,’ I shouted. Poppies were my favourite flower and he’d annoyed me by being destructive.
* * *
We ran as fast as we could to the farm, then up the front steps and into the house. The front door banged loudly against the hall wall to signify our arrival.
‘What the hell are you lot doing?’ Hazel shouted. ‘You were supposed to leave me in peace for a few hours.’
‘It’s not her fault.’ I held the envelope out towards her. ‘Mum said I had to bring you this. She’s waiting for your reply.’
‘Your mum?’ Hazel said, eyes narrowing as she stared at the envelope in my hand. It was as if I was trying to hand her a lit firework. ‘What’s it about?’
I shook my head, wondering why she was acting so odd. ‘No idea.’
She finally took it from me, slowly turning the envelope over and studying it ominously. ‘It says, “Hazel”.’
I’m not sure what else she expected to see written on an envelope, it was for her after all. I knew Mum could be a bit of a control freak, but she wasn’t that scary, surely.
Hazel took a deep breath and turned to go back into the living room. ‘I’d better read it then.’
Dee and I followed her in silence, glancing at Jack who was staring out of the window.
‘Hello, girls,’ he said, turning to face us.
I spotted the packet with his nicked cigarette sticking out of Dee’s shorts pocket and pulled a face at her.
‘What?’ she mouthed, frowning.
I looked pointedly at her pocket and she moved behind a chair out of Jack’s line of vision and pushed the pack further inside.
‘I thought you were told to stay away for a few hours,’ he said, looking from us to Hazel.
Hazel explained about the letter. She pulled open a small drawer, retrieving a silver paperknife. We watched in anticipation as she slid the blade into the fold and ripped it open in one clean swipe. She carefully took out the single sheet of paper and opened it. She’d only just started reading when she gasped. Clamping a hand to her mouth, she reached for the back of the sofa and sat down, clutching the note in her hand.
Jack rushed to her side and crouched down in front of her, trying and failing to take the letter from her grasp.
‘Mum, what’s the matter?’ Dee asked. ‘What did Maureen say?’ She glanced up at me accusatorily and I widened my eyes trying to show that I was innocent of any wrongdoing. I was as ignorant as she about the contents.
‘Are you okay?’ I asked, my voice shaky from fright.
She didn’t react.
‘Of course she’s not, you idiot,’ Dee shouted.
‘Girls, stop.’ Hazel put her hand out to take mine and gave it a little squeeze. ‘It’s not Sera’s fault.’ She hesitated. ‘I’ve just had a bit of a fright. I’ll be fine.’
I watched her for a bit, summoning up the courage before asking, ‘What should I tell Mum?’
‘Tell her?’ She averted her gaze. I could see her chest rising and falling as she breathed heavily. What could have given her such a fright? ‘Let me think for a minute.’
We stood watching her. Jack stroked her legs and I waited for her to reply. I’d never seen Hazel like this before. I couldn’t imagine what Mum must have told her. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know either, not if this was how much it upset people.
Eventually, she sat upright and forced a smile. ‘I’m fine,’ she said, raising her chin defiantly. ‘Sera, please tell your mum I’ve received her note. I feel the same way she does, and I’ll be sure to do as she asked.’
What the hell did that mean? I frowned, disappointed not to be any the wiser.
‘I’m scared,’ I heard Leo say quietly from the doorway.
‘No, baby, it’s nothing for you to worry about.’ She hugged Jack tightly, then let go, waving Leo over to ruffle his hair. ‘I just have to think things through for a bit.’ She looked up at me. ‘If Mimi…’ she hesitated. ‘Your mum needs to speak to me again about this, she can give me a call. She has my number.’ She smiled at Jack and stood up. ‘Tell her I’ll meet her, if she thinks it would be better.’ She waved me away. ‘You’d better go home now, Sera. Let Mimi know what I’ve said. She’ll be waiting to hear from you.’
I hesitated and glanced at Dee. Hazel rarely referred to Mum at all and when she did she didn’t mention her by name. To hear her use a shortened version was odd to say the least. She made it sound as if they were real friends. They certainly shared some sort of history, even if it was something neither of them seemed to want to extend to the rest of us.
I sensed that something terrible had happened, or was about to. I couldn’t work out what. I struggled not to panic.
‘What’s wrong, Hazel?’ I asked, my voice quivering with fear. Were we in danger? ‘I don’t understand what’s happening,’ I admitted, too frightened to keep quiet. ‘What has Mum told you?’
‘Tell us, Mum,’ Dee demanded, starting to cry.
I looked at my friend and then to Hazel. She was staring at her hands, a haunted look in her eyes. There must be something badly wrong. Why else would she react this way and why would our mums, who never bothered with each other, make contact now?
‘It’s not for me to say,’ Hazel replied eventually, her voice calm, controlled. She grabbed me, holding me tightly in a hug for longer than seemed necessary. Then she kissed the top of my head before taking my wrist and pulling me to the front door, then she pushed me outside.
‘Go. Now. Hurry home and don’t stop for anything along the way.’
I ran home as fast as I could, not stopping until I found Mum in the kitchen, wiping down the worktops.
‘Well?’ she said, turning to me. ‘What did she say?’
I was out of breath, so it took me a moment to gather myself. ‘She said to say she’s got your message, that she feels the same way you do and will do as you ask.’ I tried to calm my breathing. ‘And that if you want to speak to her about this again, you can phone her,’ I panted. ‘Or, if you’d prefer, she’s happy to meet up with you.’ I waited for her to say something and when she didn’t, I added, ‘Do you want me to phone her now and arrange a time for you two to meet up?’
She shook her head slowly. ‘No. Not just yet.’
Chapter Nineteen
2018 – Oakwold, New Forest
Sera
Mum went away on a shoot for a week. Usually the times she was away passed quickly, but this time Katie went down with a sore throat, so I was tied to the house more than normal. The heat added to Katie’s misery and she cried if I left her even for a short time. I bought several electric fans and plugged them around the house in a vain attempt to circulate some air. Placing bowls of ice in front of the fans helped, but only slightly. I would have given a lot for air-conditioning, but it wasn’t something we could afford to have installed. I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and Katie, and do the best I could. Poor Katie had only wanted to eat ice cream and drink orange juice for sev
eral days and all of us were thoroughly sick of the heat.
When she was feeling a little better, I rummaged around in the basement and found an old blow-up paddling pool. Leo cleaned it, setting it up for me in the shadiest part of the garden under the large pear tree. After a little encouragement, Ashley nervously stepped into the water and eventually, having watched Katie pretending to swim for a few minutes, joined her.
Both girls spent hours staying cool despite the heat of the day, by wallowing in the water and it was a relief that Katie had cheered up.
Apart from the occasional topping up from buckets filled at the outside tap to keep the water cool, all we had to do was watch them and fan ourselves and I looked forward to her returning to pre-school, so that I could get on with my work at the studio.
‘This heat is exhausting,’ Dee moaned one morning. ‘If we don’t get some rain soon I’m going to go mad with this hay fever, it’s getting worse every day.’ She sneezed as she reached the kitchen door, as if to make her point.
Later that day, I left Katie with Dee and Ashley and walked to the small corner shop at the end of our road to buy some sweets for the girls. I hadn’t been back since losing my temper about Henri, but wasn’t in the mood to walk far in the oppressive heat.
‘Ahh, Sera,’ said the shopkeeper, as if nothing had ever happened. ‘You’ve heard the news?’
‘No,’ I said, not sure to what news she was referring.
‘About the tenant. The one at the farm?’
I nodded eager for her to continue, not wishing her to see how anxious her comment made me, but realising she hadn’t forgotten my last visit to her shop. I picked up two paper bags and using the small plastic scoop, half-filled them with a mixture of sweets for the girls.
‘He was taken by the police for questioning at the station.’
‘When?’ I asked, unable to hide my panic.
She smirked. ‘Yesterday morning.’ Her delight at my reaction exhausted, she eventually added. ‘They released him in the afternoon.’
Old crone, looking so self-satisfied. Why anyone could glean enjoyment from someone else’s misery I couldn’t imagine. She weighed the sweets I’d selected and twisting the tops of the paper bags, handed them to me, holding out her other wrinkled hand for payment.
‘He’s a good man, you know,’ I said, counting my coins and handing her a couple. ‘Whatever you all might think.’
She closed her fingers over the metal and shook her head, pressing the drawer release on the old till and dropping them inside. She took out my change, checked it and handed to me. ‘Too many changes and too many strangers; everything is different around here now.’
She turned her attention to the ancient fan above her head and switched it to a higher speed. ‘There have been fires reported south of here, too. Did you know that?’ she added.
‘Hopefully we’ll have rain soon, then we won’t have to worry about them here,’ I answered as cheerily as I could manage, desperate to cut short this depressing conversation and leave.
I hurried home to deliver the sweets. Having received Dee’s assurance that I could give Ashley some, I called both girls into the kitchen.
‘Here you go,’ I said, handing out a bag to each of the delighted little girls. They ran to play upstairs.
* * *
I went to find Mum, who’d got back the night before, to ask her to look after Katie while I paid Henri a visit to find out why he had been arrested. The doorbell rang.
‘Dammit. I’ll get that,’ I shouted, hurrying to the front door and pulling it open. Two policemen stood, grim-faced on the doorstep. Recovering from my shock at seeing them there, I opened my mouth to speak. ‘Can I help you?’ They explained that they wished to ask Leo and Dee some questions. ‘Why? What about?’ This was ridiculous, first Henri getting questioned and now Leo and Dee? Surely the two enquiries couldn’t be connected? Could they?
‘We’re unable to discuss this with anyone but the people involved,’ one informed me. ‘Now, if you’d take us to them?’
‘Yes,’ I said, stepping back to give them space to enter the hallway. ‘Please, come this way.’
I showed them to the living room. It was stifling in there. For some reason neither Mum nor I had remembered to open the double doors onto the balcony overlooking the garden. As I did so, I heard something drop behind me and noticed Dee standing at the doorway an open book at her feet.
‘What are they doing here?’ she murmured, the colour disappearing from her face.
I wished I could have given her warning. ‘They want to speak to you and Leo. Is he in?’
She stared at the policemen. ‘What? Um, outside maybe?’ She stepped towards the door. ‘I’ll go and look for him.’
‘No.’ The taller of the two men stepped in front of her. He nodded in my direction. ‘You. Please go and fetch him.’
I gave Dee a reassuring smile. She had been slightly calmer and more relaxed lately and it irked me that these visitors could change that. ‘I’ll be as quick as I can,’ I promised her. ‘I’m sure this won’t take long.’
She sat, her back straight as she picked at the skin on the side of her thumb.
I rushed out of the room, aware that I could have no idea how long their questions would take, or even why they wished to ask Leo and Dee anything. Reaching the back door, I ran down the stairs to the garden.
‘Where’s Leo?’ I asked Mum, who was standing by the peach tree with Paul. She had a script in one hand with the other in the air, her fist clasped as if holding a dagger. Paul was holding his own script and grabbed her by the throat with his free hand. ‘Two policemen are here,’ I shouted as I neared them. Paul dropped his hand immediately. It would have been funny on another occasion. ‘They want to speak to him and Dee about something.’
Mum turned to me, her legs almost giving way. Paul caught her and led her to a nearby seat. ‘You okay, Mimi?’ he asked. ‘Blimey, it’s not as if they want to speak to you.’
I did my best not to give him a mouthful. Why was he so useless in a crisis? Mum wasn’t someone who liked to cause a scene, or show any weakness, so her reaction confused me. I walked over to her seat and knelt on the grass next to it. ‘You okay, Mum?’
‘Yes, yes,’ she snapped. ‘It’s the heat. We’ve been out here too long, and it’s got to me. Stop making a fuss.’ She waved me away like an annoying wasp.
I stood up, knowing to leave her alone. ‘Do you know where I can find Leo?’ I asked, picturing Dee’s anxiety at being left alone with the police.
The sound of the front door slamming against the hall wall made me and Mum jump. ‘What the—?’
‘Dee,’ I heard Leo shout. ‘Where the hell are you?’
I ran up the back steps and into the house.
‘Why are the police here?’ he demanded, his face red with fury. ‘And where’s my sister and niece?’
‘Dee’s in the living room,’ I said, assuming he must have seen the police car parked outside the front of the house to be so annoyed. I noticed the living-room door was closed, certain I’d left it open earlier. ‘They’re only here to ask you both a few questions, though I’ve no idea what about. Do you know?’
He shook his head.
‘I think Ashley’s upstairs with Katie. I’ll keep her away, don’t worry.’
He took a deep breath. ‘I don’t mean to act like a lunatic, but Dee’s too fragile to be left alone with them.’
I agreed and watched him go. When he’d closed the door I leant in closer, but was only able to hear muffled voices and the occasional snippet about the dead body at the farm. Why would they be asking Dee and Leo about that? I lived nearby and would have more reason to be involved in any questioning than two people who hadn’t lived here for fifteen years.
* * *
I heard crying and Leo was, as usual, doing his best to comfort his sister. I remembered Ashley and went up to her room to check on her.
Opening the door quietly, I watched as she hummed to th
e teddy Katie had given her. She seemed fine, so I crept back out and closed the door after me, not wishing her to hear the commotion downstairs. I wanted to find out if the police were intending staying much longer. I didn’t think the strained atmosphere was healthy for the little girl.
I went to check on Katie. She was lying on top of her bed brushing her doll’s hair. ‘Ashley wants her mummy,’ she said when I crouched down to straighten her doll’s skirt.
I stroked her face. ‘She’ll be fine, sweetheart, you mustn’t worry. Why don’t you ask her to come and play in your room?’
Satisfied they hadn’t been disturbed by the latest goings-on in the house, I went back outside to see if Mum was feeling better. She and Paul were continuing with their rehearsal as if nothing had happened. It was as if I’d imagined her reaction minutes earlier.
I wished she didn’t feel the need to always appear strong in front of me. She had once told me when I had asked where my father was, that she was both mother and father to me. I presumed that she felt it was her duty, therefore, to always hide her fears from me. Unfortunately, it also meant that she kept her innermost thoughts and emotions from me, too. I knew she found my openness difficult to cope with at times and must question why I hadn’t absorbed more of the reserved side of her nature. It occurred to me that she might have a more secretive side that I hadn’t noticed before. I pushed the thought away and instead tried to picture what my father must have been like for me to be so different to her.
I noticed her looking reflective. ‘You okay, Mum?’ I asked, trying not to let her see how much it had upset me to see her get such a fright. ‘Do you need me to do anything for you?’
She gave me her best actress smile. ‘Darling, don’t I look perfectly fine?’
‘That’s the point of my question, how do I know when I’m looking at the real you?’ I teased.
‘That’s not funny, Seraphina,’ she glared at me. Her large eyes darkened. I couldn’t think why she was taking my silly joke so badly.