Hard Boiled

by T L Christianson

  "But what?" The Eton Prime asked.

  "But I'm fucking it up. Every time I follow my head and logic—which usually points me the right way—I seem to mess everything up!" I ran my hand through my hair, noticing how long it was getting.

  Corbin gave me a sympathetic smile and reached out to squeeze my shoulder with his free hand. "Man, you're a lot stronger than me. I don't know how you've held out for so long… if your head is screwing things up, maybe it's time to go with your heart." He grinned devilishly, "or your…"

  I cut him off, "Don't."

  "Just saying. But something needs to give." He shrugged. "I want my friend back."

  "I'm here, I promise," I told him, holding my hand out.

  He nodded, shaking on it. "You'd better be, or else next time, I won't hold back just because we're at work."

  I smiled, "That's a lot of talk."

  He grinned. "Who do you think taught you to fight…"

  I laughed, "You wish."

  The rest of the morning, I spent my time going over my part of the code and trying to find the mistake. Thankfully, Mia discovered it right before second meal. I was relieved that it actually wasn't in the section I wrote.

  As part of the intelligence tech group, I did many things for the Dragonborn and BSS. Not only did I do analysis under Zane Brooks, who ran the business part of our security company, but I did a lot of political missions as well. Unlike most American Dragonborn, I could speak five languages, so I often found myself falling into the role of translator and diplomat. Because of my family, background, training, and education, I'd been given high clearance by the Council and Durand. I tried to stay under Arthur's radar, which had been difficult considering the bond and following investigation into it this spring.

  I also wrote code, but I wasn't great at it. I helped because I was good at writing algorithms and coding processing systems that helped make sense of the crazy amount of data in the mundane world. My favorites were these programs that Corbin created, hundreds of them, both viruses and worms that scoured the internet for any mention of the Dragonborn. They're automated to delete whatever content they run across. The information was deleted and rewritten with sister information from the same site.

  Other information, we let go. The biggest boon in our favor is that most people who claim to see dragons are written off. After all, we've been hiding our tracks for a very, very long time.

  However, the more sophisticated the humans become, the harder our job is. We should be altering satellite images, snowpack, and river level data around Briony, but we don't. Some engineer in a government office either thinks it's a glitch in this valley or knows that something or someone is using more water than it should.

  Sighing, I stretched and closed up one of the massive new predictive algorithms I was looking at when Corbin waved a hand in front of my face. "What are you working on? It's second meal, didn't you hear the chime?"

  I looked up to meet my friend's eye. "Yeah, I'm not going. I have other plans."

  "Other plans?" he smiled as he strode back to his cubicle. "Oh? Other plansssssss..."

  I grinned as I finished logging out, unable to hide my cheerfulness.

  "Yeah, yeah…Go eat your dinner," I laughed.

  While the crew filed out, I stood and walked to the grate covered window again.

  I'd seen Syd out in the field all day. Her uncle Durand had checked on her a few times while she worked on defense maneuvers with Taya.

  Just watching my mate pick up the moves so quickly warmed me with pride. She was scrappy and could be a good fighter with more training.

  Thankfully, I didn't have to chase Logan off again—that boy rubbed me the wrong way. Always smiling, always laughing—who did that?

  Leaning against the window ledge, my heart weighed heavy in my chest. I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep away from her.

  Was this why Evgeni sent her to me? To finish our bond?

  Running my hand over my face and through my hair, I muttered, "I'm screwed."

  10

  Sydney

  The training was kicking my butt. My body ached, and my stomach was still on mundane time. I'd been starving for the past few hours because I hadn't been able to eat much at breakfast.

  This place was so strange, and that was saying something coming from me. I'd traveled all around the world with George, but Briony was an anthropologist's dream. The Dragonborn were this weird mix between the modern world and then something beyond foreign… something almost alien. I'd thought I'd seen strange things at the academy, but nothing compared to this place.

  When second meal came, I ignored my stomach and instead snuck down to the baths. I crossed the stone bridge and followed Ashe's directions to the hot spring. Winding my way through a dim cavern, I came to a section that was flooded with ankle-deep water. Slipping out of my shoes and peeling off my socks, I began wading through the tunnel until I came to a damp wooden door. Steam puffed out as I yanked the thing open.

  There was one weak glow basket inside, leaving most of the hot pool in shadow. Thick, cloying steam hung in the room. No wonder no one came in here in the summer. It was hot as hell. I gazed around before making my way out to the main cavern.

  I sat on one of the wooden slat benches, my stomach growling loudly, and checked the time on my phone. This was second meal, wasn't it? Or had I missed one? It felt as though I hadn’t eaten all day.

  "Where are you, Ashe?" I groaned.

  It was strange sensing him again, his emotions. He'd been stressed all day, and as much as I wanted to ask him about it, I gave myself a stern lecture instead.

  Remember, he wanted this! I told myself—you're not going to cry. You're not going to do anything mushy! He'll only hurt you. Stay strong! You can do this!

  He wanted this separation, so now he can see what he was missing.

  When several minutes had passed, I picked up a pebble from the ground and threw it into the river. This cavern, with its orange glow and pitch-black sky, was dark no matter the time of day.

  "Where is he?" I asked Aaraeth, "Am I early?"

  My dragon didn't answer. Instead, she made that low sound in her throat that dragons make.

  I was considering putting my feet into the river when Ashe burst in through the main tunnel. He quickly closed the space as he crossed the bridge. His eyes looked like black pools as he stared at me, his expression unreadable.

  "You're here," he said, relief tingeing his tone. "I wasn't sure you'd come."

  Standing, I picked up my shoes and socks. "I told you I would. But I'm not going back to the hot spring, and it's too loud here. Is there someplace else we can go—if you still want to talk?"

  "Yeah, we can go to one of the alcoves." He motioned for me to follow him.

  We crossed the bridge, still not speaking, the waterfall spitting droplets on us as we passed. The orange glow filled my brain with a strange kind of haze, almost like jet lag, as we moved deep within the mountain. I trailed behind him silently, my bare feet patting on the smooth, timeworn rock.

  Our connection pulled me, compelled me, made me want to forgive him for everything he said and all the hurt he caused—and the horrible part was that I wanted him back.

  Weak! I spat at myself.

  Ashe turned to wait for me at the entrance to a dimly lit doorway before motioning me to go first. It led to a stone stairway that wound its way through the rock.

  "Which way?" I asked.

  "Up," he replied.

  We went higher and higher, my legs already aching from climbing the steps yesterday.

  "Is it much farther?" I asked, as my stomach growled again.

  "Not much," he murmured, his voice soft.

  "I need to slow down—I'm not wearing any shoes." Not to mention the fact that I was pretty out of shape. I don’t think laying by the pool and playing chess could be considered active.

  "Where's Taya? Shouldn't she be with you?” he asked.

  "Urm… she thinks I'm sleeping," I
told him quietly.

  Ashe made a low growl in his throat. "Syd, you can't do that. Promise me that you won't ditch her again. This place isn't as safe as you think it is."

  I turned back to face him and raised a hand. "Just stop. You can't tell me what to do. We're nothing to each other anymore, right?"

  "That's not true, and you know it."

  "Isn't it?" I asked, holding my ground as he moved forward, standing below me in the stairwell.

  His eyes reflected the light from the glows as he stared back at me in that intense way he had. "No. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Our bond is for life. It's already been started. There's no turning back."

  Leaning forward, he cupped my cheek with his hand, skimming his thumb over my lips. I sucked in a shuddering breath, resisting the urge to close my eyes. I'd longed for his touch so much that my body couldn't help but respond. But as his words penetrated my brain, my half-lidded eyes snapped open.

  "What do you mean?" I asked.

  "I mean, I was wrong when I told you that you had a choice. Evgeni told me that the bond, once started, is unbreakable. There's only one way this goes—forward."

  Ashe had moved close to me, standing on the step just below. He looked away and sighed, his breath fluttering across my neck. It was spicy like cloves and Virago… and something completely him.

  "Look at me," I ordered, and he did as I asked.

  His gaze flicked between my eyes and my lips, and when he leaned toward me, I didn't push him away like I should've.

  Instead, I did close my eyes, and his mouth brushed mine. The gentle touch of his lips against mine sent a wave of heat through my body.

  "Ashe," I breathed his name against his lips, not sure if I was asking him to stop or asking for more.

  He replied by sliding his arms around my ribs to press me against his body.

  My shoes slipped from my fingers, but I didn't care, not even when one tumbled down a few steps.

  I was where I was meant to be—wrapped in my bondmate's arms, running my fingers through his hair, and feeling his body against mine.

  Then, something snapped inside me, like the spell was broken, and all the hurt and anger of the past came flooding in.

  I couldn't keep doing this with him.

  I turned away, but Ashe continued to press kisses on the side of my face and neck until my tears made him stop.

  "What's wrong?” he whispered, turning my face to meet his gaze.

  "I can't…" I nearly sobbed as I blinked, trying to stop my stupid tears. I shoved at him, and he backed up in confusion.

  I fell onto my bum on the steps behind me, draping myself over my bent knees.

  He knelt before me, stroking my arms, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Talk to me. What's wrong?"

  When I looked up at him, tears still streamed down my face, but I didn't care. I was too raw, too shredded to hide it.

  "I can't do this anymore. I won't do this. It's too hard. I've told you from the beginning how I felt. I've always been clear with you, but you—your choices… your decisions just don't make sense to me. If you want space, then don't kiss me in dark hallways!"

  His eyes bore into my own, appearing like deep pools in the low light. "I have been honest with you… You say you don't understand me? I've tried to do the right thing from day one." Ashe stood, his chest heaving with emotion and eyes glossy as he stared back at me. "And you say 'don't kiss me?' You kissed me back, you…" A tear streaked down his cheek, and he turned, trapped in the narrow stone stairwell. "Fuck!” he yelled, slamming his fist into the solid rock surrounding us.

  Facing away, he lifted one arm to wipe his face on his shoulder.

  For several moments, all we could hear was the occasional drip from the ceiling or one of us sniffling.

  He turned, his feet on separate stairs, with one knee bent so he could lean on it.

  "What can I do? How can I fix this? I need you…" he trailed off.

  "Do you really think of me as a child? Like you told Evgeni?" I whispered, afraid to hear the answer.

  His eyes seemed to drink me in even as he shook his head, "No."

  "So, then what's holding you back? What's stopping you from just saying, 'fuck it' and completing our bond—because it isn't me."

  He eyed at the steps behind me as if they held some kind of answer. "You keep telling me you're ready, but I have a hard time believing that… and now I feel like I'm a broken record telling you everything I've already said."

  He ran his hands through his hair.

  I blew out the breath I'd been holding and spoke barely above a whisper, "You know me better than anyone has ever known me. I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone in my life—why? Because of some crazy connection that neither of us can control. So, I'll tell you again. Either you're all in, or I'm out. I'm not going to go round and round with you. I can't do this anymore."

  "I shouldn't even be touching you, but I can't seem to stay away. This is a slippery slope Sydney," he breathed, touching my arm as another sob escaped my lips.

  This was just another rejection wrapped up in excuses.

  He touched my hair, my arms, the tops of my bare feet until finally settling on just wrapping his arms around me.

  All this did was make me weep harder.

  When I kept crying, he scooped me up from my step and carried me the rest of the way. Opening my eyes to a blast of cool wind, I found us outside in an alcove.

  Ashe carefully set me down, and I hugged my knees to my chest.

  I wanted him to take back everything he said—say he was all in—but I knew he wouldn't. He couldn't.

  Looking out over the fields from our little space, a space too small for dragons, I let the wind dry my tears.

  After several minutes passed, my stomach growled again. I licked my lips, the cool breeze calming me, clearing my head.

  "I want to go. Unless there's something else you need to talk about," I said, as the wind swallowed my words.

  Standing, I turned to face Ashe—his face was blotchy and his eyes glossy with unshed tears.

  "Wait. There's more," he said, reaching up to touch the rock just above his head. “Evgeni drove out to my parent's ranch to tell me some important things. I want to make sure you understand—understand things he told me about the Tetrad."

  "A Tetrad?" I asked.

  "Yes, that's what our bond is called." Ashe's eyes flicked over my face. "He said that once a bond is started, it has to be completed. It can't be broken."

  "So, then doesn't that make everything you told me that day—I don't know—pointless?" I shook my head, "I mean, come on! Logan! You really think I'd be with Logan?"

  "No.” he sighed. "I don't think you'd actually be with Logan, but I wanted you to figure that out on your own. Besides, I had to make sure that particular door was closed…"

  "It's closed," I snapped, cutting him off.

  We stood there in silence as the wind buffeted us, making my hair swirl around my face as we stared at each other.

  I wanted to touch him, tell him that I would take whatever he had to give. But I had to be strong and watch out for myself.

  He turned away and looked out over the valley.

  "What else?" I asked.

  "What?" He turned to face me. His body was still tense, his voice tight.

  "You said you needed to talk to me. What else about?"

  "Yeah. Evgeni didn’t send you here because of something you did. There was nothing you did or could've done differently to keep from coming here. It wasn't your fault, and it wasn't Katie's either. It was Evgeni. He put you here for a reason; we just have to figure out what that reason is."

  I searched his eyes. "I had the same thought, but I want to know your reasons."

  "I told you, Evgeni makes plans within plans. Why do you think he sent you here? Is it because of George?" He hesitated. "Did you know George Miller is here?"

  I raised my eyebrows. "That… yeah, Olivia told me."

  He nodded, "Yeah, s
he's dating one of my roommates." Ashe paced the alcove again. "I trust Evgeni, but I wish he wouldn't be so cryptic."

  I squinted my eyes and cocked my head to the side. "What did he tell you?"

  Turning to me, he breathed out a laugh. "Nothing useful. But, he's good at predicting how people will act." Ashe widened his eyes, raising his brows at me. "I know he has a reputation for being shady, but he's not. He just has a reason. Think… is there something George might tell you?"

  I nearly groaned. "No… I don't know. Maybe about my mom… Evgeni's like that guy from the TV show."

  "What?"

  "Like that one show… with the night club and the secrets, but it’s…" I trailed off, trying to remember the name while searching Ashe's face for a spark of understanding. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

  "I don't watch TV," he said.

  "None at all? Like never? Not even stream the occasional movie?" I widened my eyes in shock.

  "Have you seen a television here?”

  My brows came together. "No, and there's no Wi-Fi either. What do people do here?"

  "Read, play games, be outside, ride," he said as if this were all anyone would need.

  "Well, I do those things too," I said, holding my arms up as if this were a given.

  He ran his hands over his face and through his hair, tousling it all up again. "Dragon’s teeth! You're a living distraction! Listen, back to Evgeni. He put you here…"

  I interrupted him, "First, tell me everything he said about our bond."

  Ashe knelt, swept away some gravel before sitting and pulling a backpack from his shoulders. "Okay. But I'm starving, do you want to eat? I brought some sandwiches for us."

  "Fine, yes," I told him begrudgingly.

  I would not fall into his trap. We were not friends!

  Once I sat down, Ashe handed me a bundle wrapped in wax paper and a glass bottle.