My Own Island (A Blue Shore Novel)

by Wendy Silk

  Behind David and Ed, I saw Toby, walking with careful casualness. To the hotel guests, he was a shadow, rarely seen, and always silent. But I knew him well. I knew his uproarious sense of humor and his secret wish to be like everybody else. He was so used to walking in the shadows. Was that why he almost appeared to be slinking along behind the other two men? He looked like a television version of a spy. What was he playing at?

  All I could think of to do was to remain frozen, trying to appear to any passing guests as if I were waiting for a friend, or perhaps a cab. I couldn’t leave until I talked to David. There’d be no point in abandoning this place unless David knew that I was doing it so he’d stop his vendetta against Grant. Yet I couldn’t go anywhere else on the grounds, in case I ran into Grant himself and had to explain. That would be too much.

  After fifteen minutes of agonizing waiting, David and Ed strolled back down the widest trail. I saw them both using their hands to punctuate their conversation. Were they arguing? Yes, when they reached the lawn, they moved angrily in different directions. I almost broke my cover to catch David. If I did, it would be end of my time here. Instead, seized by a sudden change of heart, I left my bags in the shadows of the building and sprinted across the lawn to find Toby.

  He’d be taking the long way back, to be sure not to run into the two men he’d been trying to follow. I couldn’t imagine the purpose of the spying game he’d been playing, and I dismissed it from my mind. All I needed was a few minutes to catch that kid for a hug before I left. I’d miss him so much. He was the shyest teenager I’d ever taught. Once he’d let me inside his reserve, however, I’d found that his unique life experiences had created an interesting, loyal, and earnest guy that I now counted as a friend.

  “Toby!” I had reached the section of the woods where I’d been sure I’d find him, but there was no sign of him. “Hey, Toby! I saw you come up here--where’d you go?”

  I knew on some level that he wouldn’t answer out loud, of course, but I kept calling. Finally, I made my way to the highest point on the trail. If I couldn’t find him, I’d have to give up and just get back to my plan of finding David. I sat on the overlook, soaking in the beautiful vista one more time. The gray sea met the gray sky in the endless, soft embrace that I loved so dearly. I could see a whale-watching boat far out in the water, the kind that would be out all day. I stood in the freezing December air, briskly brushing my hands together briskly to warm them.

  As I stamped my feet to get my blood moving, I looked downward, past the ledge I’d been sitting on. My heart clenched in my chest. Down below, perhaps twenty-five feet, was Toby’s phone. It was resting on a tiny outcropping of greenery, halfway down the slope. I would never be able to reach it safely. More to the point, Toby himself could never have gotten there without being in grave danger. After the bit of evergreen shrub that stuck out, it was all a steep drop off to the sharp rocks below.

  I could see the red plastic case clearly. There was no doubt at all in mind what it was. Panic began to grip me, despite my efforts to take longer, slower breaths than were coming naturally. “Toby!” I shouted his name as loudly as I could. I knew the wind was snatching the sound from my lips and stealing it away to the waves below. Where was he? No, no, nothing could happen to that bright, energetic boy of mine.

  My breaths were now forming in ragged gasps as I hugged my arms to myself tightly. I looked anxiously around me. If only somebody would come. Anybody. I’d be glad to see the most doddering of geriatric golf couples if only they could stay with me while I figured this out. Toby wouldn’t throw or even accidentally drop that phone over the edge; he loved it as only an eighteen year old could. If it was down there, so was he.

  I leaned forward as slowly as I could. Placing my belly on the rough stone surface of the little overlook ledge, I inched forward, just the tiniest bit. I called again, “Toby! Are you there?”

  Silence came back to me, punctuated only by the calling of the seagulls. I set my forehead down on the stone.

  After a moment, I heard it. It was faint, but I could make it out, I was sure of it.

  “Alice!” came the thin voice. It had a rusty timbre, sounding like an old wooden box with a battered hinge that was being opened for the first time in years. I knew it. He was down there, somewhere.

  “Toby! I can hear you, but I can’t see you. All I can see is your red phone, resting on that bush down there. Are you in a place where you can see it?”

  He answered slowly and quietly. His voice was just a thread in the wind. I could barely make out the words. “Yes! Above it.”

  In a corner of my mind, I marveled that Toby was talking. At last, his voice was returning to him. I knew it made sense that it had left when he was in danger, and now it was returning the same way. Would I be lucky enough to hear it again in a calmer setting? Would Grant?

  He called out again. “Look. I’ll wave something.”

  I kept my belly tight against the hard rock I was leaning against. If I pressed down as low as I could get without overbalancing, I could see a bunch of long grasses waving back and forth. “Toby! I can see it! I see where you are.” It was impossible to get a good look at Toby himself, although I could see the movement that revealed his location. I suspected that he was on a bit of vegetation that was similar to the spot that now cradled his phone, ten feet below him. If it gave way, he’d tumble straight down. I shouted, “Can you hold on while I get help?”

  For a moment, he didn’t answer at all. I strained to listen for his voice against the noise of the wind and the gulls. A new noise had added itself to my ears: the insects that heralded dusk had started to chirp. Thinking of the impending darkness and the cold that came with it, I felt despair edging along my consciousness, taking little nibbles at my self control.

  Finally, Toby shouted again. “I can hold on. I’m ok.”

  He was braver than I was. The resolve in his voice was the product of what he’d already been through. The kid had lost his parents in a car accident, while he was present. Back when he was eight years old. Damn it, I was going to keep it together if it was the last thing I did.

  I started to pull back along the rocks, retreating along my original route. I could hear bits of the ledge breaking apart, sending stones clattering down the slope. “Watch out!” I called. Toby didn’t answer, but I hoped he was just conserving his energy.

  I was sure that I couldn’t move another muscle without toppling the entire section I’d been leaning against. I was frozen, like a moment in a nightmare when moving my body had become simply impossible. I couldn’t go forward; I couldn’t go back. I was on the verge of tears when I heard a voice behind me.

  “Alice, keep still,” Grant said. “Is it Toby down there?” He spoke as if he was talking to a spooked horse. He was gentle, but completely in control. “I can see exactly what happened. Don’t move one bit.”

  I couldn’t see him at all, but the sound of his voice was balm to my soul. He knew these trails, these rocks, every bit of this place. He knew Toby, and he knew me as well. We were his family.

  “Listen, you can do this.” Grant was calm. “I am going to go get some rope. It’s ok. I’m not really leaving you; I’ll be so fast that you will be ok. You can do this.” He repeated the last words like a mantra, and I took it as one. I would do this, because there was no alternative.

  I heard his footsteps behind me as he backed slowly away, then ran at a full sprint back toward the hotel. I would do as he’d told me, and be still. The only thing I could think of to do was to call the same words down to Toby.

  “Toby, did you hear that? Grant found us. He went to get some rope to get you up. You’re going to be ok.” I sent the words down the slope with as much confidence as I could muster. “You can do this, Toby.”

  I heard no answer.

  Chapter 20: Grant

  My feet hit the ground faster than they ever had before in my life, as I ran down the trail to the hotel. I’d never been so scared. The possibility of losing
both Alice and Toby energized me into a zone that was both frantic and strangely calm. This was one damn life curve too many. This time, just this one time, I was going to come out ahead.

  I reached the hotel about twice as fast as I’d ever made that run, and I had been doing it all my life. Ignoring any sense of propriety or dignity with guests, I tore around the corner to the front desk. Ed and Trevor were standing there, apparently in the middle of an argument.

  “Stop. Listen to me right now.” I would have shouted at them if I thought it would help. Instead, I spoke too clearly, as if I were addressing bickering chimps and hoping they would help me. They both turned to me, with mouths agape and finally silent. “Toby is stuck on the cliff,” I said, perhaps too loudly. “Get the rope kit,” I nodded to the office door and pointed at Trevor. We’d never had a cliff rescue before, but we had supplies for that possibility. Our insurance required it. Moreover, it was something my dad had always insisted we be prepared for, no matter what. We were stocked, trained, and certified for it, but I had never thought it would be the most important people in my own life that I’d be rescuing. “Ed,” I continued. “Get to the kitchen. Bring hot drinks and get some blankets. We’re going back up to the overlook.”

  I turned on my heel, not waiting for anybody to answer. I saw Trevor get the heavy duffel bag with the rope kit, however. Once I knew he was following behind me, I began to run back to Alice. I could hear my breath huffing in the winter air as I ran, but it sounded like it was coming from a distance. My focus on getting back to the overlook was absolute, so much so that I barely felt connected to my body. I would get there in time. I would.

  As I approached the overlook, I could see that Alice was still exactly where I’d left her. Good girl. “Alice, I’m here,” I told her quietly. “I’m right here behind you. Don’t move. We’ll have this all fixed in a few minutes.”

  “Grant, I’m worried about Toby. He hasn’t said anything.”

  “I know, it’s ok,” I said. Of course he hadn’t said anything. I had seen his red phone sitting precariously on the bush far below. He couldn’t talk without it. The image of the teetering phone was going to haunt me for a long time. Toby was fine; he was going to be back up here with me in just a few minutes.

  “Just keep as still as you can while I get the harness on,” I told her. Trevor had made it up here faster than I would have thought possible with that massive bag. I’d be giving that man a bonus. He took in the situation but said nothing. Without needing to ask me what to do, he was already unzipping the bag and dumping out the contents. He got out the rope and anchor, and the pulley system to attach to it. He shoved the harness at me.

  It was utterly silent as I stepped into the apparatus. Only the clinking of the metal hardware would have let anybody know we were there. What if I hadn’t come up here looking for them? Alice and Toby could both have dropped to the bottom and this spot would have been quiet and peaceful again in minutes, as if they had never been there.

  Once I was clipped in and Trevor had gone over everything to check me out, I stepped carefully to Alice. I hadn’t gone to her when I had first seen her, much as I had wanted to. One touch could send the stones below her tumbling down, and her with them. Now that I was anchored, I could finally get to her.

  “Alice, I’m coming up behind you,” I said. “I want you to be limp. Don’t try to grab me. Don’t move at all. Understand?”

  She whispered “Yes.” I could tell that she was losing her nerve. She had been as still as humanly possible for a long time now, and the dusk was bringing with it an icy breeze. Alice said, “I’m ok. It’s Toby I’m worried about; he’s right below me. Grant, he’s more important than me. He’s just a kid.”

  As she was speaking, though, I was gently moving forward, until I had my hands firmly on her. I didn’t answer her. There were no words that would have been sufficient to tell her how important they both were to me. I nodded over my shoulder at Trevor, and he pulled me back. The backwards movement would, we hoped, keep the rocks from tumbling straight down the slope toward where Alice had said Toby was.

  Only seconds later, Alice and I were in each other’s arms, safe on the trail. I closed my eyes briefly and put my hand to her cheek. As I rose, I saw Ed making his way toward us. He would have the supplies needed to care for her as she went into the shock that was inevitable. I turned back to the edge to try to find my baby brother.

  The crumbled overlook had enough of a safe edge left that I could carefully choose my approach over it. With Trevor’s help, I made my way down. Toby was only about fifteen feet from the top. Measured on a flat surface, that wasn’t that far. On a sloping cliff over the rocky beach, it was a considerable distance. Finally, I could see him clearly. He was perched in a sitting position on a flat rock that jutted straight out. It looked like he had slid down on his seat until he was able to steady himself there. As a resting point, it wasn’t bad; it was almost a small lookout spot of its own. However, it was utterly impossible to get safely back to the top from where he was stuck.

  Toby was in worse shape than Alice. He had cuts and bruises to his arms and face. It looked like he had taken some branches to one cheek pretty hard. He looked half-frozen. I wondered how long he had been there before Alice found him. When I looked into his face, it struck me, as it hadn’t before, how much he looked like our father. He was breathing deeply in an effort to remain calm. Our dad had been the most patient man in the world, somehow drawing on an inner power to slow things down when needed, whether that meant a crisis at the hotel or just the tantrums I threw when I was a kid. I had raged at my parents when they told me I was going to have a brother. Now the worst thing I could think of was losing him.

  Controlling my own breaths, I inched toward Toby from below. I uncurled my fingers and clipped him to my gear. With my arms around him in the biggest bear hug I’d ever given, I signaled to Trevor that we were ready to come up.

  Safely back on the trail, I separated myself from Toby and pulled off my harness. Toby’s face was white, but his eyes were like fire. They burned far too brightly, actually, as shock began to set in. As I sat still, with my head held low, between my knees, I could feel Alice next to me. She was wrapped in a blanket and appeared to have recovered some strength. She passed Toby a mug of something hot, then gave one to me.

  Toby pulled himself to a sitting position and drank. He was shivering, but he was here, next to me. In one piece. That was all I needed. As I bent my head to drink from my mug, I heard a sound that made me catch my breath in my throat.

  It was Toby, leaning against me. He said, simply and softly, using the voice that I hadn’t heard in years, “Thank you.”

  Chapter 21: Alice

  I never understood it when people would tell me that one day had been the most important in their lives. People would tell me, when I was engaged to David, that my wedding day would be the best day I ever experience. It made me feel worried, not happy. If that was going to be the best day, wouldn’t that mean that every other day would be going downhill from there?

  Now, with no thought of David in my mind or in my plans for the future, now I understood. A day could be your best day if it opened the doors for everything you had ever wanted. It made the future you had dreamed of possible.

  “Grant,” I said drowsily, as we sat together on the couch in his penthouse apartment. “You know, this is like a dream come true. To be with you, to stay here forever. That’s all I need, although I didn’t always recognize it. Now I can see that it could be possible.”

  He looked at me tenderly, holding me as if I might break. I had resisted going straight to bed. We’d sent Toby to bed right away, after he’d had a quick examination from the local doctor. Grant was wild with suppressed anger when he found out that David had been on the trails at the same time as Toby, but Toby had assured us that it was entirely his own fault that he slipped into such danger. After David and Ed had passed his hiding place just below the overlook wall, on their return to the hotel,
he had slid down to where we found him. I was glad he was able to tell us. If he hadn’t, I worried that Grant would have gone after David in a rage, doing who knows what. As it was, Grant’s tension on that issue dissolved, although I knew he would have a few choice words with Toby later about climbing below the trails.

  I still needed to stay up with Grant a little longer to find the reassurance I needed. His powerful hands stroked my head carefully, as if he were touching something precious. I was falling asleep, but I knew I had to say something before I did. There was something…

  “Grant, I have to tell you. The hotel...the water samples.”

  He shook his head. “That doesn’t matter right now. That’s just business. All that I need right now is you and Toby here, safely back home.”

  “But wait,” I said. “It was David. He faked the water sample results.”

  Grant’s reaction was less spectacular than I’d expected. Sometimes it seemed like nothing could rattle this man. No emergency, no drama ever got to him. Inside the circle of his arms, I was the safest I’d ever been.

  “I’m not surprised,” he said. “I thought that was it. But I didn’t have any proof.”

  “I don’t either,” I answered, leaning against him. “Does that mean there’s nothing we can do?”

  Grant held my hand even tighter. “What we can do is live our lives. Together. I found your suitcases, did you know? I was looking for you, and after I searched inside, I walked all around the building. Your car was still there, but when I saw your bags, I put it all together. You were going to go back with David, weren’t you?”

  “Yes,” I faltered. “But not for the reason you think.”

  “Oh, no. For exactly the reason I think. You were going to go back to him because you thought you could get him to agree to lay off on the Legionella accusations. Right? You were thinking that you’d go back home with him if it would mean the hotel wouldn’t be closed.”