Lithium Waves: A Lithium Springs Novel

by Carmel Rhodes

  Caroline let out a huff of annoyance, “don’t say that word. It isn’t PC.”

  “I don’t give a damn about politically correct. James has attempted to throw away her future for a goddamn busboy, and Christopher, well, he and Parker will never happen.”

  “What about James?” Caroline asked.

  “Jared still wants her.”

  “But, Daddy—”

  “No,” Archer boomed, “you will end things with that boy or I will unleash the full force of my legal team on him. He will go to jail, and I will use every penny in your trust to ensure he rots. He has a record of violent crimes. Did you know that?”

  “He was a teenager, it’s sealed.” Jamie croaked, fighting back the sob threatening to tear from her throat.

  “That doesn’t mean it disappears, James, it only means it won’t show up on a background check. But make no mistake, the courts will know. And I’m sure there is video of his latest vicious attack,” Archer said, pointing to the camera mounted in the corner behind them.

  “He hit you, once, and you deserved it.”

  “He also threatened to kill me. I’m afraid for my life.”

  Jamie dug her fingers into the side of her leg. She itched to pull out her phone and Google the possible ramifications.

  “Four months minimum,” her father grinned a bloody grin, “but I’ve got good lawyers. They’ll push for a year, and with the death threat,” he whistled, grimacing from the pain the action caused, “it may even be longer.”

  Jamie fought hard to swallow back the sob. Ryder was on the edge of the abyss, looking to dive head first into a life he and the guys fought for. They were going to be rock stars. She couldn’t let him go to jail.

  “What’s it going to be, James? Break up with him and he goes free, or sign up for a life of bus trips and conjugal visits.”

  “Leave him alone and I’ll do whatever you want.” She would do anything for Ryder, even if that meant setting him free.

  Archer laughed, the sound dripped with contention. “Not what, James, but who.”

  “Is that him again?” Chris asked, as Jamie silenced her phone.

  “Yeah,” she muttered sadly, before turning it off altogether. It’d been three days since she last spoke to Ryder. Three days since he rode an Uber off into the sunset, off to his destiny, a destiny that no longer included her. It hurt, cutting him off without warning, but it was what Archer demanded.

  She cried for twenty-four hours straight. They were ugly, brutal tears of heartache. The tears of love and of loss. It was a pain she knew. It was the same pain she felt when they took her baby.

  Love was selfless.

  Jamie gave up her happiness so that Ryder could live his dreams. He’d move on, find someone worthy of him. Although the thought hurt, it gave her strength. Her suffering didn’t have to be his. She’d do it, just like her mother, she’d live a life without joy. Without Ryder, there was no reason to fight, no reason to rebel. Archer would find any flicker of happiness and snuff it out too.

  “You should answer,” Chris said from his spot on the bed. “At least tell him why you stopped taking his calls.”

  “Daddy said no more contact.” She said mechanically, robotically.

  “Since when do you listen to Dad?” he argued.

  “Since he threatened to take away the only man I ever loved.”

  Silence.

  Her words struck a chord. Jamie didn’t mention Parker’s absence. She didn’t need to. It engulfed them like a wool blanket, heating the room to an uncomfortable temperature.

  “Manning Solutions isn’t doing well,” Chris whispered, “that’s why he’s pushing Jared on to you. It was a hostile takeover, or rather it was supposed to be. Dad’s a good negotiator. He always says, everyone has a weakness, and once you figure it out, you can make the impossible, possible. Dad noticed the way Jared’s eyes never strayed far from the family picture hanging in his office. He would have given him mom if that’s what he wanted, but it was you.”

  Jamie stared out the window of her brother’s hospital room. He was being discharged today, finally strong enough to go home. Chris would finish his internship in a few short weeks and head back to the east coast for his senior year. What was to come after was still a mystery. Archer held that card close to his chest, but Jamie knew her brother’s time would come.

  Everyone had a role to play in the Manning Empire.

  “Dad negotiated a merger, citing the mutual benefits his older more established company could have on Jared’s fledgling one. The business made sense but Jared’s a hunter. He wanted to hang Manning Solutions on his trophy wall, but Dad wasn’t going down without a fight. That’s when he threw in the sweetener.”

  “His pretty blonde daughter,” Jamie grunted bitterly.

  “I swear I didn’t know until after you gave up your trust,” Chris said. “Jam, you don’t have to do this. Fuck Dad and his arbitrary spot on some board.”

  “No,” she shook her head. “I will do anything for Ryder. Just like you put Park on a plane back to Boston to keep him away from that monster, I’ll break Ryder’s heart to give him a chance at his dream.”

  “Then what, you go play house with Jared?”

  What would happen next? Jamie thought about that a lot over the last three days. She could fight, but deep down she knew that’s what he wanted. Jared’s a hunter, and Jamie was big game. The only way to win this battle was with her surrender. “He’ll get bored. I’ll let him have me. I’ll let him break me and then he’ll throw me away.”

  “That’s dark shit, Jam,” Chris said. He stood, too fast. Pain twisted his features as he clutched at his right side.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, rushing to help him.

  “Yeah, I just forgot about these damn staples,” he said, lifting his t-shirt to reveal the three-inch incision on his lower abdomen.

  The wound would soon heal and a scar would form. A scar similar to her own. The Manning children were casualties of war. Some of their scars were physical—ones you could see. The others, the ones that ran the deepest, the ones that hurt the most, were invisible.

  Ryder walked up to the front desk, his palms were coated with sweat. He’d only been to Jamie’s apartment a handful of times and never without Jamie, but he didn’t know what else to do. She’d been dodging him all week. He went to her job, waited outside the gym, he even tried the hospital. Nothing. He hadn’t had a full night’s sleep since he left in the Uber. His emotions ran the gamut from worried, to sad, to angry, to hopeless. Going to her apartment only solidified his stalker status.

  The woman behind the desk was young, a college student maybe. The shiny metal name tag on her mint-green vest read Jenni. He smiled his lopsided grin, the one he flashed Kitty Cat that night at the Rabbit Hole, and prayed to God this worked. “Hey, Jenni. I was hoping to surprise my friend. You think you can let me in?”

  “Umm, are you on the list?” Jenni blushed.

  Ryder pushed out his lips in an exaggerated pout. “Not sure, I’m usually with her.”

  “Her,” Jenni noted, an air of disappointment in her tone.

  “Yeah, Jamie Manning in apartment 405.”

  Jenni’s fingers floated over the keyboard. Ryder’s heart pounded in beat with each peck, peck, peck. “Found her. What’s your name?” she asked.

  He was tempted to lie, to say Chris or Parker, but something inside of him, his masochistic side, wanted to know if she still cared, even on a subconscious level, or did she cross him off this list like she had crossed him out of her life.

  “Napoleon Ryder.”

  Jenni grinned, “Seriously?”

  “My parents were…different,” he shrugged. Ryder leaned forward, resting his forearms on the desk. The muscles in his biceps bulged. He lost his shame, when he lost his girl, not that he had much to begin with.

  Jenni’s stared at his body, slack-jawed, for nearly ten seconds longer than was socially acceptable, before returning her attention to screen. “
There you are. Looks like you’re good to go,” she sighed wistfully.

  “Thanks Jenni,” he said tipping an imaginary hat towards her.

  “Anytime, Napoleon,” she chuckled.

  The smile on Ryder’s face as he sauntered over to the bank of elevators was genuine, brilliant, hopeful. Step one was complete, but step two was where things got tricky. What if she wasn’t home, or worse, what if she was, but refused to see him? He had no clue what happened. She ghosted on him without so much as a fuck you, but Ryder fought tooth and nail for Jamie to let him in and wasn’t giving up.

  The elevator pinged and he stepped inside. No matter what the outcome, he would see this through. The ride up to the fourth floor was quick, the walk to her door even quicker. Ryder built this moment up in his mind all week. He’d rehearsed what he was going to say when he saw her over and over again, but his thoughtfully crafted speech went out the window the moment his knuckles touched the wood.

  He needed to feel her, to kiss her, to smell her fruit scented hair. They could fight later, they could fight forever, he just needed her. He knocked again. His hopes diminished more and more with each second that passed. Just as he was about to turn to leave the door swung open, revealing a petite, brown-haired girl in a fluffy white robe. Kensington not Mackenzie.

  “Are you the Postmate’s guy?” she asked. Looking from his face down to his empty hands. Her brow knit in confusion as she stepped behind the door, closing it slightly. Panic flashed in her big, brown eyes.

  “Oh, no, sorry,” Ryder held his hands up. “I’m actually looking for Kitty… uh, James…Jamie,” he stuttered.

  “Oh, umm, Jam’s not here, but I can tell her you stopped by? What’s your name?”

  “I’ll just catch her later. Uh, sorry again for bothering you,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t know why he was apologizing. Perhaps he could blame sleep deprivation, depression, or any of the other emotions coursing through his body.

  “Wait,” Kensie said stepping out into the hall, “are you… you’re Ryder, right?”

  “Umm, I think I am. I don’t feel much like me, though,” he muttered, taking the awkwardness to a new level. This was Jamie’s best friend and roommate. He had imagined meeting her under different circumstances. He would have been charming and funny, not some sad loser who showed up unannounced to beg her friend to take him back.

  Kensie smiled. “I’m glad I finally get to meet the man that turned my bestie into a romantic.”

  “I take it she didn’t tell you she dropped my ass?”

  “Jam isn’t what you’d call a sharer, but I do know she’s in love with you, and in all the years I’ve known her, she was the happiest she’s ever been when she was with you. She was like a flower in full bloom, she brightened up the room with her presence. Your effect on her, how happy you made her, it was a beautiful thing to witness. ”

  “Then why won’t she talk to me? What did I do?” He ran his fingers threw his hair to keep from putting his fist through the wall. Probably not a good idea to scare off his one connection to Jamie.

  “It’s complicated.”

  “That’s not an excuse to disappear without a fucking goodbye,” he snapped.

  Kensie took a cautious step toward him. Like he was a cornered animal that she was trying to coax back into its cage. “I know.”

  “Then why?” he asked pacing the empty hall. “Did I do something?”

  “It isn’t my place to say.”

  “Did something happen to her brother?” he asked, halting. He’d been so busy drowning in his own sorrow he didn’t think about Chris. Was that the reason? Did she shut down because she couldn’t handle another loss?

  “God, no. He’s fine. I promise,” Kensie assured.

  “Then it’s her dad, right? He’s making her do this?”

  “You should really talk to her.”

  “That’s what I’m trying to do,” he yelled. He couldn’t help it. The only thing worse than losing Jamie was not knowing why. The why was important. The why determined how he should fight for her. “Help me?” Ry pleaded.

  “She’s my best friend. I have to respect her wishes.”

  Tears burned in his eyes. “I miss her so fucking much. Every time I close my eyes, I see her face. Every time I hear someone with an obnoxious laugh I hope it’s Jamie. She’s my soul. I just need to see her.”

  “God, she’s going to be so pissed at me,” Kensie huffed, pushing a strand of brown hair out of her face.

  Ryder’s head snapped up. He felt hope for the first time in a week. “Fine. Blame me. Tell her I forced you to help.”

  “She’s at work. She’s been taking my car and parking in the lot across the street. It’s a black convertible.”

  “Thank you so much,” he said wrapping her in a bear hug and spinning around. “I owe you one.” He was going to talk to Jamie even if he had to sit outside all fucking day.

  The sun gleamed off the shiny paint of the black luxury car. Ryder stared, studying it as if it had the answer. Last week he was on top of the world. He quit his job and decided to pursue his dream. He had his girl and his friends, everything was starting to fall into place. But now he was the fucking creeper who waited in a parking lot for two hours, stalking a woman who’d made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him.

  He was a fool for thinking his luck could change, that he’d get everything he wished for. That only happened in books and movies. Real life was struggle. Real life was suffering, and the current cause of Ryder’s distress was trotting across the street with her phone to her ear.

  In the last seven days, Ryder had called Jamie no less than one hundred times. At one point, he thought her phone was broken or lost, and that’s why she wasn’t calling him back. Then on day two, he feared something was wrong with her, that she was hurt or in an accident. It wasn’t until day four that he realized she was just blowing him off. Seeing her living her life as if his absence had no effect made him angry. She was every bit the beautiful fucked up girl he remembered. It looked like she was sleeping soundly at night, like she hadn’t miss any meals. Like she was fucking happy. How could that be? Jamie was a savage, he’d always known that, but she was in love with him. How could she be happy without him?

  “I just need to run to my apartment first, then I’ll meet you there,” Jamie said, leaning over to fish her keys from her purse. Her steps faltered as she pointed the key fob towards the car. “I gotta go,” she whispered into the phone. Whatever the other person on the other end said made her roll her eyes. “Sure, I can’t wait.”

  “Who’s that?” Ry asked. Anger and uncertainty seared his intestines. He knew. He fucking knew, but he needed to hear the words on her lips.

  “My boyfriend,” she answered. Her words were like a punch to Ryder’s gut, but somehow not a surprise.

  “Jared,” Ryder spat the name out like a curse. Of course, it was Jared. It was always going to be Jared, the rich dick with the thousand percent IQ. Archer told him, Jared told him, but Ryder didn’t listen. He’s the kind of guy who gets a girl like Kitty Cat. It didn’t matter what her heart wanted. All that mattered was pedigree and net worth.

  “Yup,” she said, the ‘P’ sound popping on her lips. She turned her head, left and then right, surveying the empty parking lot behind her dark aviators. There was no help, no easy out, it was just Jamie and Ryder and a fleet of news vans. She was going to talk to him. They were going to have this out.

  Ryder waited for her to continue. Waited for an explanation. Waited for the bullshit to spill from her mouth. Waited to hear she was doing her father’s bidding. Or that she’d second guessed giving up the money. Anything really. But nothing came.

  “So, you gave up?” he asked, when he couldn’t wait any longer.

  “Ry, this was never forever,” she said, but he heard the crack in her voice. He was willing to bet sad, green eyes stared back at him from behind her mirrored sunglasses.

  “They only win if you let them, Ki
tty Cat.”

  “Just let it go. This was fun while it lasted, but it’s over now.”

  “No. I know you love me. I’m not letting you do this to us.”

  “I don’t love you,” she said. It was a lie. Ryder felt her love, even now when her words stung, he could bathe in it.

  “Take off your sunglasses. Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me.” Her lip quivered, but she remained silent. Ryder took a step towards her and she took a step back. “Don’t do this, Kitty Cat. Whatever he threatened you with, whatever it is, we’ll get through it.” He took another step forward, then another, until they stood toe to toe. She smelled fruity, like his Jamie. It gave him hope. Everything would be okay if she just talked to him.

  Jamie waved a shaky finger between them. “I don’t want this anymore. It has nothing to do with my dad,” she whispered.

  “What? James, stop this bullshit right now.” Ryder grabbed her face, pushing the sunglasses up over her head. Just as he suspected her eyes were broken, even under the layers of studio make-up he could tell she was wrecked. “You love me,” he said, firmly, because she did and because he’d scaled the walls of her heart to earn that love, and he wasn’t letting it go without a fight.

  “I’m afraid of you.” Tears spilled down Jamie’s cheeks and mascara stained her perfectly painted face.

  Ryder cocked his head to the side, his thumbs swiping at the black tears rolling down her cheeks. “I don’t understand.”

  “Please let me go.” She tried to shake out of his hold but he couldn’t let her walk away. She was his muse. His reason.

  “Jamie, please don’t do this,” he begged.

  “Or what, are you going to hit me too? Break my nose like you did my dad?” She was burning him alive; a sacrifice to some god or devil he couldn’t defeat.

  “I would never fucking hurt you.” Ryder wasn’t perfect. He was a slave to his emotions, and sometimes wrath, and pride, and lust, and envy won out over patience, and humility, and chastity, and kindness, but he’d sooner die before causing her an ounce of suffering.