The Empire

by C. L. Alden

  “...and what I did to you—”

  He sounded closer. Oh god. She felt cornered. Trapped. “I don’t want to hear this. It makes no difference now.”

  “It’s the biggest regret of my life. I wish I could take it back…”

  He was so close. Once again she felt reduced to rubble. She hated him for that.

  “I loved you. I’ve always loved you.”

  The dam broke, the tears started flowing, quiet at first, but then in wracking sobs. She felt arms reach out to her from behind, and pushed them away, stumbling further into the darkness. “Don’t touch me!” she sobbed. There was no hiding it now. There was nowhere to run, no time to build defenses. She felt exposed and broken.

  “Darcy, please talk to me.”

  “All that wasted time… You’ve won. This is it. Take a good look.”

  “I’m sorry.” He took a couple steps back, so that the firelight illuminated his face, so she could see him if she wanted to. He was asking her to bare her soul and he left his open for her to see as well.

  “Why, Will? She was one of my best friends.”

  His voice was quiet. “I don’t know why.”

  The idea that he could blow up her world and not know why infuriated her. She lashed out, moving towards him like a mad woman. Tears were streaming down her face, her breaths coming in gasps. The words came out in chokes. He stood and didn’t look away. “I trusted you! I loved you with everything I had. You destroyed me and you don’t know why?!” She moved behind him and around, circling. “That’s not an answer! I want to know why, Will. Tell me why!” She stopped mid-circle as the realization of what he said sank in. The waste. “Oh my god...I’m such an idiot... I am such a fucking idiot.” She wiped her tears and moved to face him, thankful for a clear moment. “You never loved me.”

  “That’s not true. I’ve always loved you.”

  His words stoked up the fury that had calmed momentarily. “Liar! Fucking liar! You loved me, so you cheated and slept with somebody else? You loved me and married someone else? Liar! ...I’m so stupid...” There was no control left. One moment she was half laughing, half screaming. There were no pieces to pick up, it felt like everything had been burned to ash. The next moment, the devastation was as fresh as if it just happened. The embarrassment and heartache of realizing so much time was wasted mourning a loss that never really was. Wracking sobs rolled up again, and choked her as she continued. “All that time I wasted trying to figure out what I’d done? Why you did it? It was all lies...How could I have not seen it?” she was asking herself more than him.

  “I did love you. I do love you.”

  She couldn’t hear him. “All those years. I gave everything to you. And you took it all. Why? What did I ever do to you to make you hate me that much?” She looked at him, as if seeing him for the first time.

  He didn’t say a word. Tears were welling in his eyes, but he stood there and took again, everything she had to give.

  She was rambling now, tears still streaming down her face, thoughts and feelings all muddled together. Words babbled out of her, as moments of clarity came and went. “Why didn’t I see it sooner? It makes sense now...why it was so easy for you...you never really loved me...That’s why you just let me go…” She didn’t expect an answer and didn’t give him an opportunity to give one. “That’s why you never came to find me.”

  “I did go after you”

  She still couldn’t hear him and kept right on unravelling the answers. She got eerily calm. “I lost so much that night… well, no, I guess I didn’t,” she said shaking her head. She looked up at him searching for answers on his face. “I never really had either of you, did I? No... Annie, I thought, was one of my closest friends since high school,” she chuckled absently, “yours too—oh wait...Wow! I’m such a fool! How far did you and she go back?” she asked, as if the picture were getting clearer all the time. “Was I in the way of your love for a long time?”

  “We were never in love.”

  She chuckled at her naivety. “God, I was dense, wasn’t I? But tell me this, what was the point? Why couldn’t you just have told me?”

  “I loved you.”

  Continuing as if she hadn’t heard him. “Instead, you made me feel like we’d be together forever.” At the word forever, the tears started again.

  “I thought we would.”

  “Liar!” She lashed out with lightning speed. “You are a fucking liar! Come on Will, come clean! It’s over and done with, you can tell me, why?” She paused for a moment, not to let him speak, but to try and put together the reason. “Why didn’t you just break up with me? It would’ve been kinder.” She was working her theory out. “Oh, I see, maybe it was more exciting sneaking around. Putting one over on stupid ol’ Darce. But what happened Will? You didn’t end up with her either. Was the thrill gone once you’d been caught? I’m sorry, did I ruin your fun?”

  “It wasn’t like that, Darce, please—”

  “What was it like, hmm?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer. She was well past hysterical “Betrayer!” She screamed at him. “You are a betrayer!” Her anger was losing steam and she was so far past hysterical that her thoughts were just a fog with random words breaking through to label the emotions rolling through her. “You both are and...and you suck!” She was back in the shadows, standing still, arms wrapped around herself, head down. Tears were falling again. “I should’ve known when you didn’t come after me. I couldn’t see it...I guess I didn’t really want to. But why? Why didn’t you love me?”

  “I did come after you. I tried for weeks and weeks. Don’t you remember?”

  “I saw the two of you everywhere...It killed me. I couldn’t take it...I couldn’t stay and keep the pain.” She was completely spent. She sat down on a rock in the dark. The sound of the waves on the rocks a behind her washed through her. “We were supposed to be forever...and you married someone else.” And there it was. Her heart had been dumped out and scattered to the winds. She felt like a shell, a dried up husk.

  “I did.”

  MONDAY

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  It was still mostly dark when she climbed back up the rocks, but on the far horizon, she could see the beginnings of a reddish pink line. Dawn was not far off. Will sat with her until the crying subsided. He kept the fire going and kept his distance, but he wouldn’t leave her. They sat in silence, for hours. He asked nothing more, and she had nothing left to say. She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Thoughts and emotions continued their churning do-si-do, but she no longer had the energy to put them back where they belonged. She let them run wild inside her, hoping they’d knock themselves out and give her some peace. The impromptu coming to Jesus with Will had laid her open to the bone. He had masterfully slipped through her defenses and got to the heart of the matter. He’d found the little box inside her where she had tucked away the most painful and broken parts of herself. Parts that scar tissue alone couldn’t protect. She never looked in there. Somehow though, he had ripped off the top and exposed that most vulnerable part of her. He had looked straight at it, and accepted what he saw. She didn’t know how she felt about that. So much had happened over the last few days, and she didn’t understand why, but more and more she felt that is was all connected. Everything was pushing and prodding and pulling to something. Something that felt like it was on the tip of her tongue. Or maybe it was something that a part of her didn’t want her to know. Something else that had been tucked away and never looked at. This visit home, the dreams, the crazy dream-not-dream time travel or whatever that was with Eddie, the confrontation with Will, the kid on the street. It felt like there was a common thread through it all. With everything that was going on, she was afraid to pull it.

  As she collapsed on her bed she could see that the line of pinky red had gotten thicker. She guessed her dad would be up soon. She should go to the Empire today and take a look. She promised Eddie. Ugh Eddie...what was that all about? Kissing, phantom music, ti
me travel. Lunch with Ali. Her thoughts were going in a million directions. What she needed to do was sleep. She was never going to fall asleep.

  Darcy!

  Out of the silence, she heard her name and and sat up with a start. She looked around, but there was nobody there. “Hello?” She listened but there was no answer, just the sounds of the seagulls in the middle of their morning routine. It was bright in her room, she must’ve fallen asleep though to her body, it felt like she had just laid down. She looked at her phone. It was just about eight o’clock. Her face still felt sticky, and crusty with tears. She stood up and every muscle in her body protested. She felt exhausted but restless. She couldn’t lie around because she knew her brain would just start spinning again. She didn’t want to think, she didn’t want to feel. She just wanted to be. She headed to the shower.

  ***

  The cafe was steady even though it was fairly late for a work day. Most of the business looked like it was ‘to go’ coffees and lunches. There were only a couple of tables full, and a few members of the flannel and plaid society at the counter. She didn’t see the blue and grey plaid guy, as she snuck behind the counter to get a coffee and a muffin. She grabbed the paper and waved to Mary who was busy prepping lunch, then made her way to her booth.

  “Good morning, sunshine!” her dad said as he walked up to her booth. She glared at him. “Ooh, you look tired. Another late night?” he said with a smiling, hopeful voice.

  “Subtle Dad, real subtle.” Good, she thought. He obviously didn’t hear when she was screaming like a crazy person. Hopefully no one else did either.

  “Wasn’t that fun last night catching up with Will? Talking about old times...You know he’s single now too.”

  “What has that got to do with anything?”

  “I’m just sayin’. I like Will. You and he…”

  “You’re just sayin’... Dad, I’m not here for a love connection.” Eddie walked up behind Hank, an inquisitive smile on his face. He obviously heard what she just said.

  “Good morning!” he said in his usual chipper tone as he came up beside Hank. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  “Good morning,” Darcy replied.

  “Eddie.” Hank said with a nod and a slight turn of his head. “I’ve got to get back to the counter. We’ll talk later.” he said giving her the ‘I have my eyes on you’ signal behind Eddie’s back. Darcy rolled her eyes.

  “May I?” Eddie asked.

  “Sure,” she said motioning to the booth seat across from her.

  “So, how are you doing?” Eddie asked. When he sat down she could see dark circles under tired eyes and a hint of a blond stubble on his face.

  “I’m okay.”

  “You look tired,” he said looking concerned as he gave her the once over.

  “So do you.” she replied.

  “Yeah, I haven’t slept much the last couple nights.”

  “Me either.”

  He leaned in across that table and whispered. “I just can’t figure out what happened. It felt like so much more than a dream. That’s never happened before. I swear, I felt like I was there! I mean I could smell and touch things…” Eddie looked a little desperate, like he was questioning his sanity.

  Darcy knew how that felt, but she knew if she told him that what he thought he dreamt was real, that he’d really lose it. No, it was better to keep that information to herself. At least for now, until maybe she could figure out what had happened. Will that make it any less crazy? Her inner voice argued. You know there is no rational explanation. “Maybe it was some sort of food poisoning?” she offered. That explanation didn’t make sense either, but maybe it would be enough for him to cling to.

  “Maybe… But I felt fine. And why did we both fall asleep?”

  “Too much wine?” Darcy offered.

  “I guess that could do it, couldn’t it? Yeah maybe it was just the right combo of rich food and too much wine.” He looked relieved as he leaned back in the booth.

  “Probably,” she assured him. On to new business, Darcy thought. “If it’s okay, I thought I go to the Empire this morning and do a walk through?”

  “That’d be great. I’d go with you, but I’m pretty much in meetings all day.”

  “No that’s fine. I’ll take a look around, take some notes. Then we can talk about it some time this week. I’m here until Saturday.”

  “Great! Well I gotta run.” As he stood up, he leaned towards Darcy as if he was going to kiss her. Instead he just pretended to brush something off her cheek. He winked at her and whispered. “That was for your dad. Just messing with him.”

  Darcy looked over just in time to see her dad quickly turn his head like he hadn’t been watching. She giggled. “Serves him right.”

  “I’ll talk to you later.”

  Darcy sat in the relative quiet and enjoyed her muffin and coffee.

  “Well good morning!” Mary said as she approached the table.

  “Good morning.” Darcy said with a smile. She didn’t have it in her for much small talk. All she wanted was to get some caffeine in her and distract her mind a bit with the morning paper.

  “You look affright! Haven’t you been gettin’ any sleep? Let me get you a good breakfast.”

  “Aw, Mary, thanks but I’m all set with this muffin. I’m gonna have a big lunch at the Wagon Wheel in a little bit with my friend Alison Bishop.”

  “Oh good! That Ali’s quite a rig. Done a good job takin’ over for her aunt though. I’ll be back around to check on you in a bit, dear.”

  Darcy unfolded the paper to see that the accident at the Barrett building had made the headlines. ‘“Man Electrocuted in Freak Accident’ Noble Cummings sustained non-life threatening injuries on Saturday while working on an electrical panel at the Trade St. Barrett building…”

  CHAPTER Fourteen

  Darcy stood in the middle of the lobby and took a quick trip down memory lane The place had not changed much since she was last in it. The carpet had been replaced, and she could see in the ticket window that they now had a modern ticket system and register, instead of the old roll of tickets, and a change drawer. The age of computers, what a beautiful thing, she thought. When she had worked there, the books were still done in an actual ledger, keeping a running count of the ticket numbers to determine ticket sales, and counting cups and candy boxes to track inventory. She saw there was a big change in the concession area. It was in the same place, but everything was new. Lighted signs above the counter advertising combo packs and other prices, a new soda fountain, popcorn machine and warmer, and a shiny new glass front candy counter. They now offered nachos and even ice cream. It looked big and gaudy plunked down in the middle of the vintage decor that had the understated feel of elegance and refinement from another era.

  The place smelled the same as she remembered; a combination of popcorn, wood polish with a faint hint of Brasso. Despite the new amenities, the place looked dilapidated. The brass rails were full of fingerprints, the lobby carpeting could use a good shampooing, and the candy counter a good wipe down. She wandered behind the concession stand. The price ‘cheat sheets’ they used to post out of sight had been replaced with a cash register. She opened the storeroom door. Nothing but the inventory had changed there. A hanging fluorescent light fixture still lit the ten by twelve space. Same warped black and white linoleum floor, the same metal shelving racks lined the room. It was almost like stepping back in time. As if to put that notion to the test, she picked up a container of butter flavoring from the shelf right beside the light switch and there it was. A couple decades worth of signatures and sayings scrawled on the wall as a testament of those who had come before. She moved another container and found her signature and comments left over a period of the four years she worked there. She wondered if that tradition continued or died out some time in the past?

  She turned off the lights and closed the storeroom door. She needed lights for the theaters. If memory served, the switches were located in what she guess
ed was originally a coat check room located between the two sets of theater doors, but was now the downstairs projection room. She stepped in and flipped on the interior theater lights and the lights for the balcony area which sometime in the seventies had been enclosed and converted into a second smaller theater. She walked around to the right and opened the theater door. It looked the same. Heavy burgundy curtains hung open on either side of the screen. She knew it to be the same screen they had twenty years ago because of the telltale water stain at the top left corner.

  She looked around at the condition of the theater itself. It was a large room that, if she recalled correctly, held about 250 people. The features of the room had not changed much probably since it was built. It had rich dark paneled wood walls framed every fifteen feet or so with faux columns, accentuated with sconces and rosettes spaced every four feet or so and stopping just above the top of the seat. The room was topped with crown molding that melted into an off white ornate tin ceiling design. Darcy imagined at one time huge chandeliers were hung down the center of the room. Dimmable recessed lighting had replaced them decades ago. The ugliest feature of the room was the boxy looking plaster contraption that jutted out over the of back of the theater to enclose the balcony to make a second, smaller theater. Like the new concession stand in the lobby, it’s plain boxy design did not fit in with the rest of the surroundings. If anything was to be done with this theater, that enclosure would have to go. She hoped that whoever had done the renovations had simply built around the original balcony structure. She headed back out to the lobby and up the stairs to find out.

  At the top of the stairs there was a door to the left that led to the balcony area, a hallway straight ahead that was cordoned off that led to the main office. Darcy headed into the balcony area. It looked completely different than the downstairs theater. With the bulky enclosure and the addition of a screen there was only room for about eight rows of seats, twenty seats across in most rows. In order to make the original front row of seating usable the builders had to extend the enclosure an additional ten feet or so out from where the balcony rail would have been. In their construction they would have also had to include some sound proofing materials so that the audience would not hear sounds from the other theater below. Darcy guessed that was the reason why the wood panel walls and original ceiling were gone and replaced with painted sheet rock. There was one faux column on each of the side walls to mimic the design downstairs, but that’s where the similarities ended. There were three nondescript metal sconces for lighting on each side wall, and the window for the projector was only a few feet above the top of the seat of the back row. She wasn’t sure, but, by the look of the design of the enclosure, it seemed like they had just built over the railing and wall panelling. If they ripped out the enclosure and the seats, and could restore the ceiling and panelling, this would be a great space. Eddie would be pleased to hear that.