“Come on, Drew!” Jen called up the stairs. “Your aunt is here!”
Lisa came inside, and Bram ran for the staircase and sat down to run his car along the bottom step. His little boots left a trail of melting snow behind him.
“I’m sorry for the mess,” Lisa said.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jen said. “It’s winter. And I’m glad you’re taking Drew out for a little bit. He’s been really upset about leaving his friends and cousins behind in Denver, and it’ll be good to remind him that he’s still got family out here.”
“How’s he holding up?” her sister asked.
“He checked out the house a bit and then sat himself down in front of the Xbox his dad gave him for Christmas,” Jen said. “I’m just glad to get him away from the games for a bit—give him some real life to explore.”
Lisa looked at her with a small smile. “Are you saying you need my help?”
“Yes,” Jen said. “I am.”
“Do you want to show me around?” Lisa asked.
Jen shot her sister a smile. Was Lisa going to be happy for her about this mansion? It would be nice to have her sister be proud of something she did for a change. “Sure.”
Nick came up just then, and he and Lisa exchanged hellos. Nick and Lisa were relaxed and cordial, but when Nick’s gaze flicked over to Jen, his expression softened just a little more, and she couldn’t help but like that.
“Care to come on the grand tour?” Lisa asked him. “I’d like to see your work. I’ve never actually seen you in action, you know.”
“What’s it like?” Nick asked Jen jokingly. “Impressive?”
“Actually, yeah,” Jen replied, but she wasn’t joking. She turned to her sister. “Really, you have to see what he’s done. Do you want to start in the kitchen?”
“Have you talked to Sam?” Lisa asked, slipping out of her boots and scooping Bram into her arms. Then she winced. “Sorry—that might be private.”
“It’s fine,” Jen said. “Nick knows the broad strokes. I tried connecting with Sam. I texted. I called. No answer. He told me he had plans with his girlfriend’s family, so I guess he’d turned everything off to focus on that.”
“Ironic,” Lisa said. “He won’t do it for his son.”
“Don’t say that in front of Drew,” Jen said.
“I’m not.” Lisa rolled her eyes. “I’m saying it to you.”
The sisters’ gazes met. “Is it my job to make him a better father?”
“Male perspective?” Lisa said, looking over at Nick.
“I’m not sure. I should have an opinion here,” Nick said.
“Actually, I want to hear what you think,” Jen said.
Standing there, the three of them—well, the four of them including Bram who had a fistful of Lisa’s hair in his chubby hand—felt rather nice, actually. Jen hadn’t been sure what it would be like to have her sister and Nick in the same room with her. She hadn’t imagined that she’d get along with her sister’s group of friends, but maybe she’d been wrong about that.
“I guess it comes down to what Drew needs,” Nick said. “He might need you to help him navigate that. And that might include giving Sam a nudge when he needs it.”
“I don’t think so,” Lisa interjected. “I don’t think she can make Sam into a better father. He’s got all the reason in the world to focus on his son, but he’s going to carry on just like he always has. He never listened to Jen anyway. In fact, I’m going to predict that he marries this Tiffany, or someone just as young, and that he’ll have another child or two. And he’ll be exactly the same with them.”
“You think?” Jen asked. “Is that going to turn into another short story?”
“It might.” A small smile tickled Lisa’s lips. “How many times do you have bitter kids from the first marriage watching a self-centered parent move on with another family? It’s cliché for a reason. Sam’s not unique.”
Jen glanced over at Nick and he shrugged. “She’s got a point.”
Since when had her sister gotten so wise? Was it all just from watching Jen mess things up? Or maybe it was from a few mistakes of her own. All the same, Lisa seemed to understand the world in a different way from Jen. And Lisa seemed to be right these days.
They started the tour of the house, and Nick pointed out his plans for the kitchen, showed Lisa some sketches of what it would look like once complete. He was proud of his work, and Lisa looked impressed.
Jen led the way through the main floor, and then up the stairs to the second floor.
“This library is amazing,” Nick said when they paused there. He ran his hand over a dusty shelf. “These shelves could all be refinished, and you could even find a library ladder to roll along those tracks up there.”
“Yeah?” Jen looked around. “Maybe that can be next on the list after the gallery.”
Drew came down the stairs and met them in the hallway.
“Can you talk to Drew?” Jen asked quietly. “Encourage him a bit?”
“Of course,” Lisa replied. “What are aunties for?”
Jen felt a wave of gratitude. Maybe she wasn’t quite so on her own out here, after all...for as long as she stayed. Could Lisa and Bram, Gayle and Matt, and Uncle Stu be enough for Drew? Could Nick and Amelia? It was strange to be including Nick in her support network, but if she and Drew stayed, she could see Nick becoming a bigger part of her life...
All the same, she couldn’t confuse what Drew needed and what she needed. They were very different lists.
As they came down the stairs, Drew reached out and touched Bram’s hand, and the toddler stared at his older cousin in wonder. Jen could see the family resemblance between the two boys. Bram looked an awful lot like Drew had at that age, and she wondered if there was any recognition between them—that sense of family.
“Is that Bram?” Drew asked.
“That’s him,” Lisa said.
“Hey, buddy,” Drew said, and ruffled his little cousin’s hair, then he looked up at Lisa shyly. “Hi, Aunt Lisa.”
“You’ve grown about two feet since I saw you last,” Lisa said with a grin. “Holy smokes. What does your mother feed you?”
Drew didn’t seem to know how to answer that, but he grinned back all the same. When they got back down to the door, Jen gave her son a squeeze.
“All right, you have fun,” Jen said. “I’ll come by and get you around ten, okay?”
“Okay,” Drew said. “Bye, Mom.”
“See you, Nick,” Lisa said with a smile. “Don’t let my sister work you too hard.”
“She’s not as scary as you think,” Nick said with a laugh.
As Jen watched her sister, son and nephew head out into the dark evening, she wondered how big of a mistake it was to keep her son so devotedly in Denver. At the time, she’d thought she was giving him a better life with better people. At least Sam seemed to think so. She saw the error of her ways now. There wasn’t a “better” family—there was just one big mess of family, and picking out the “more successful” ones for Drew to spend time with had only succeeded in cutting him off from people who could love and support him when life went left. Jen had been the one to do her son wrong in that respect.
Jen shut the front door and as she turned, she saw Nick standing by the dining room entry, his tool bag in one hand. He gave her a hesitant smile.
“On your own this evening?” he asked.
“It looks that way,” she replied.
Jen moved away from the door, closer to the Christmas tree with its twinkling lights that sparkled off the sparse ornaments. This tree was beautiful, and she was glad now that she’d listened to Drew and gotten the eight-foot one. It filled up the yawning space on these cold nights, and made it feel like a home instead of a gallery. And funny how a chat with her sister and Nick made things feel easier to handle. She had mor
e people who cared than she’d realized.
“You and your sister are getting along better?” he said.
“She’s got a perspective I didn’t appreciate before,” Jen said. “And she might be better at anticipating what my ex-husband will do than I am.”
Nick smiled at that.
“How is it going with Amelia?” Jen asked.
“Well...she’s leaving on Christmas Eve to spend the holidays with her boyfriend,” he said. He put down his tool bag and came closer to the tree. “She might end up marrying this guy. Looks like they’re seriously thinking about it, at least.”
“For real?” she turned to look at him. “She won’t be here for Christmas?”
“She’s got plans,” he said. “What can I say?”
Nick dropped his gaze. She knew what this Christmas with his daughter had meant to him.
“Oh, Nick...”
“I’m not sure I can repair this with her, at least not over one holiday,” he said, and his voice sounded tight. “I don’t think it’s going to be that easy of a fix.”
“Are you going home to see her tonight, then?” Jen asked.
“She’s out tonight with a few friends,” he replied. “It’s highly possible that she’s avoiding me.”
“I’m sorry. At least with a twelve-year-old he’s still reliant on me for all his transportation.”
He smiled faintly. “Well...it’s my own doing.”
He hoisted his tool belt and started toward the door.
“I was thinking of going for a drive tonight,” she said. “I haven’t been back to the row houses I grew up in for years. I’m not even sure if they’re still there.”
Nick turned back.
“A little nostalgic?” he asked.
“Yeah.” She met his gaze, and she realized that she didn’t really want to make that drive alone. Whatever had sparked between her and Nick might not be wise, but it was real. “Did you want to come?”
“No, thanks. You have a good time, though. I don’t need a pity invite.”
Was that what he thought—that she felt sorry for him?
“It’s not pity,” she said. “It’s...friendship.”
He paused and looked at her uncertainly. “Jen, we’re well past friendship.”
She caught her breath, and her heart sped up at the rumble in his voice. Yes, they were well past friendship, but where had they landed? All she knew was that she would deeply enjoy his company tonight.
“Then come because you want to,” she said quietly.
He was silent for a moment, then he tipped his head to one side. “I do want to.”
Jen smiled. “We could grab some takeout on our way.”
“Deal,” he said, and he smiled back. “But dinner’s on me.”
She wanted to go back and see the row house where she grew up, the place that had formed her for better or for worse. She wanted to face the home she’d run away from and make some peace with it. It was time to stop running. When she left again, she’d be walking with her shoulders square.
* * *
NICK SWUNG BY Toby’s Burgers, which had been family run for the past fifty years and served the best bacon double cheeseburger in the county. They each ordered a burger and fries, and he added an extra order of onion rings on top of that. They ate in the car in the parking lot, and when they were done eating, Nick put his truck into gear and headed back to the main road.
There was a soft dusting of snow coming down from the sky, but not enough to impede visibility much or slow down traffic. A brisk wind whipped through the valley, sweeping the dry snow off the roads and piling it into the banks on the side.
“Do you know where you’re going?” Jen asked.
“Pretty sure,” he replied. “The old row houses across the street from the YMCA that they shut down a few years back.”
“That’s the place,” she said. “I didn’t know the YMCA got shut down.”
“Yeah, it’s all boarded up,” he said. “I’m not sure what they’ll do with the building now. I’ve been expecting them to tear it down.”
He’d been expecting them to tear down the old dilapidated row houses, too. But that was where Jen had grown up. It was strange to think about her as a child on that lonely stretch. It made Lisa’s angst make a little more sense, too.
Jen turned toward the window, watching the buildings aglow in Christmas lights sweeping past them. What was she thinking? He glanced over at her, watching the play of light as they moved over her features. She was beautiful, and he couldn’t help but notice it more and more. She was the kind of beautiful that got deeper and more defined with age, and the kind that could turn his life upside down without her ever even trying.
“Do you have happy memories growing up there?” Nick asked.
She slowly shook her head. “No.”
“I thought if you wanted to revisit the place—” he started.
“Don’t get me wrong, my parents were great,” she said, “but we were poor. Dad had an accident when I was about five or six that really hurt his back and he went on disability. Mom worked part-time, but she never did make very much. So we lived where we could afford.”
“It was hard,” he hazarded.
“Really hard,” she replied. “My sister and I had to walk to school, and there were these other kids who lived in the trailer park about a block away and they were really rough. They used to follow after us and torment us. I remember being scared a lot.”
“That’s awful.”
“But I didn’t want to worry my parents,” she went on. “Dad got a few surgeries on his back, but they cost a lot. They were always trying to scrape up some money from somewhere. The thing is, when I got into University of Denver, I was ready to leave this town in the dust. I didn’t want to come back for anything. We were broke, we were always struggling and I was constantly trying to protect my parents from more worry. When I left for school, I had no intention of ever returning.”
“Not even to see your folks?” he asked.
“I did come back to visit a few times,” she admitted. “But mostly I’d call and talk to my parents on the phone. They’d come to the city to see me more often. And I’d show them around the college and they were so happy for me. I’d achieved more than they’d managed and they were proud.”
“Then you got married,” he surmised.
“Right after I graduated. And then, it was different. I didn’t have to worry anymore, and I could send my mom money from time to time. I wasn’t worried about being safe or about how to pay for things. We were...comfortable. Finally. It was all I’d ever wanted.”
Just to be safe and have enough...the thought was a heart-wrenching one, and he looked over at her again. She looked back, then shrugged weakly.
“Sorry if that’s too much information,” she said.
“No, it’s nice to know, actually. No one should have to live afraid of their own safety or unsure of how they’ll afford the necessities.”
“I never wanted to again,” she said. “And my sister interpreted that as being a gold digger, I think. It wasn’t that. I wasn’t marrying Sam for money, but I might have been looking for rescue. And that wasn’t healthy. Did Lisa ever mention this?”
“Not really. I knew she had a sister, but she did more eye rolling than explaining.”
The falling snow began to wane, and Nick signaled a turn down the road that led to their destination. There were a few cars parked on either side, and a newer subdivision had been built in the past ten years, growing up around the older structures.
“I can see why that old mansion meant so much to you both,” he said. “Growing up here, and seeing that old house...it would leave an impression.”
“My dad used to drive us past it,” she said. “It was on the way to some babysitting job I had, and I used to stare at it. He told me t
hat some people lived better than others, but at the end of the day, it was family that made life sweet.”
And then her parents had died, leaving her with a sister who thought she’d sold out and a spattering of extended family. Nick was a dad who’d hoped his daughter would have all the good things in life, too, so he felt like he could understand what her dad might have been thinking. A man wanted the best for his daughter, but he didn’t want to lose her in the process...
Nick pulled to a stop when they reached the row houses. It was dark already, but still early in the evening. Most of the houses were aglow from within, TVs flickering in front windows, people passing in front of closed curtains, their shadows betraying their presence. There were a few cars parked along the side of the road, and a couple of trucks.
“Which one was yours?” he asked.
“Number seven.” She nodded toward it. There wasn’t any space to park in front of it, so he stayed where he was. The heat pumped into the cab, and he reached over to take her hand, twining her fingers through his.
“They did their best,” Jen said quietly. “You know that mistletoe ornament?”
“Yeah.”
“I used to look at it and dream of my future, but it was only after my parents passed away in a car accident that I really treasured it. I was twenty-seven, and Drew was just a baby. Lisa would have been twenty-two.” She looked over at him and sighed. “It wasn’t that Lisa expected me to move home after my parents died, but she did want me to come around more often. Looking back on it, I realize how young she was—twenty-two isn’t all that old, is it? Anyway, I wanted her to move out to Denver to be closer to me, but she wouldn’t budge.”
“You were both already set on your paths,” he said.
“Maybe,” she agreed. “Or we were both too stubborn to realize we needed each other.” Her gaze moved ahead to her old house, and he saw her eyes grow teary. “I never did thank my parents for all their sacrifice and dedication to us. I took a lot of it for granted, and I put my energy into doing better. Being better. I wonder now how that made my parents feel. Did I do to my parents what your daughter is doing to you?”
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