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Mountain Mistletoe Christmas

Page 21

by Patricia Johns


  It was an Amelia kind of gift—she’d been giving these for years. He had a collection of ties upstairs that he’d worn only a handful of times.

  “It’s to finish off your whole sexy contractor look,” she said and shot him a smile. “Trust me, you’ll be irresistible.”

  Nick chuckled. “Thanks.” He pulled an envelope from his pocket and handed it over. “That’s for you. I’m not great at picking out things you’ll use, so I figured you might want to do the shopping yourself. You’ve got better taste.”

  Amelia looked down at the envelope, and she nodded, but the smile slipped. His own fell, too, and he sighed. He’d messed it up again.

  “Look, Amelia—”

  “No, it’s fine,” she said quickly. “Thanks.”

  Cash. Not even a gift card that would show more knowledge of her likes. Yeah, he could see how it had been the wrong move now. But she’d just spent the past week insulting his taste, his style and his decor. He hadn’t trusted himself to buy her something. She had very strong ideas about what she did and did not like.

  “I actually made you something,” he said, the words coming out in a rush before he could think better of them.

  Amelia looked up.

  “I’ve been working on it for weeks, ever since you said you’d come home,” he went on. “But now that you’re here, I figured you probably wouldn’t like it, after all. I mean, it’s just that we remember things differently. There are things that are really sweet memories for me, and you just see...tackiness.”

  “What did you make me?” she asked. “Do you still have it?”

  “Yeah... Hold on.”

  Nick went to the garage and retrieved the collection of three singing bears from his workbench. He liked them—their expressive faces and each line he’d carved by hand... He looked down at them and felt another wave of misgiving. This wasn’t going to be the right gift, either, and she’d probably just throw them out later. And somehow knowing that made it even worse. But he’d committed himself to it now, so he carried them out to the kitchen.

  “I, uh, carved you some versions of those singing bears, before I knew how you felt about them. Thing is,” he said, looking down at the bears in his hands, “when you were little, you loved playing with them, and I loved watching you play. You’d lie on your stomach in front of the Christmas tree and arrange your little bear choir...” He smiled sadly. “And then you grew up. And I guess I thought you might have the same happy memories associated with them that I did. So you see, cash might not be such a bad option, huh?”

  “Oh, Dad...”

  Nick looked up to see tears in his daughter’s eyes, and his felt wet, too.

  “You grew up,” he said. “And you don’t have to apologize for that. If I knew you better, I’d have been able to choose a better gift, but—”

  “Dad, I love them,” she said, and her lips trembled. “Thank you.”

  “Can you just tell me one thing?” Nick asked.

  “Sure.”

  “Where did I go wrong?” he asked. “I know I lost our connection somewhere, and I go over it in my head over and over again, and I can’t figure out when it happened exactly, or what I did.”

  Amelia was silent for a moment, her gaze locked on the wood carving in her hand. Then she looked up, stronger.

  “I just wanted you to be proud of me,” she said. “I wanted you to look at me and think, that’s my daughter, and brag to your work buddies about what I was doing. I wanted you to think I was...wonderful.”

  “I do!” he said. “And I did!” He wrapped his arms around her, then gave her an awkward kiss on the top of her head. “Oh, Amelia, that’s the easy part. I’m always proud of you.” He released her and looked down into his daughter’s face. “You’re smart, you’re determined, you’re a force to be reckoned with. And I’m incredibly proud of you!”

  “Even if I’m just like my mother?” she asked.

  “Hey, your mom is brilliant,” he replied. “We might not have been the right match, but your mother is a good woman. She’s smart, she’s driven and she showed you things I wouldn’t be able to. I married her for a reason, you know. And if you end up exactly like her, then I’ll be just as proud of you. But you’re your own woman now. You’ll grow in your own ways. All I want is for you to be happy. That’s it.”

  She nodded, and her chin trembled.

  “I just want you to have what you want out of life,” he said earnestly. “And maybe you can remember one more thing this Christmas. I know you’re in love, and I know love is complicated sometimes. Just...remember what I said and don’t change yourself for his family, okay? The thing to change is the guy you’re with, not yourself. Okay?”

  Amelia picked up the bears and tucked them into her bag one by one. “I’ll try.”

  “And call me when you get a minute? I want to hear how it’s going.”

  Amelia smiled, and for a split second, she was that ten-year-old kid again, and he wished he could step in and take care of her. But she was an adult now, and she’d be making her own choices and her own mistakes. She’d be forging her own future, and it would be amazing.

  As they headed outside to the truck, a new thought was percolating in his head. All his daughter had needed was to know how proud he was of her, and maybe that message had gotten lost in the chaos of the divorce. She’d needed a dad who was proud and cheered her on from the sidelines whether he understood what she was studying or what she was aiming at or not. She needed moral support...

  He’d been afraid that things would turn out the same with Jen if he committed to her, but what if that was all it would take to make it work with the woman he loved—letting her know how supportive he was? If she needed a cheering section to let her know just how wonderful she was, whether he fully understood everything she was doing or not, then he could provide that easily enough. He didn’t need to be intimidated by the art world she moved in. Maybe he could just be the strong arms and steady heart that she came back to each night—the guy who made sure that she knew she was amazing.

  He tossed his daughter’s bag into the back seat of the truck, and he looked across the street at the old mansion.

  “Dad?” Amelia said as he got into the driver’s seat.

  “Yeah.”

  “For what it’s worth, I really like Jen. I think she’d be good for you.”

  “You mean she’d be good for you,” he said with a forced laugh.

  “No,” she said quietly. “I’ve seen the way she lights up when you come in. And I’ve seen the way you look at her... I’d like to see you married again, Dad. You deserve some happiness, too.”

  Nick put the truck into Reverse, then cast his daughter a smile. Was there any hope for a future with Jen? Hope had started to swell inside him. Maybe, just maybe, he had something to offer that was worth a lifetime...

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE, and outside snow had started to drift down in lazy flakes. The Christmas tree was lit, lights sparkling from the depths of the branches and reflecting off the gifts she’d wrapped for Drew. They looked pitiful compared to the space that was available under that tree, but she didn’t mind. At least Drew was home.

  She’d be hosting dinner on Christmas Day. Gayle and Matthew were back from their honeymoon, and they’d be there, as well as Lisa and Bram, Uncle Stu and a couple of her cousins. Jen wasn’t sure how happy Matthew would be to see Stu there, but she figured he’d have to adjust—blended families could be sticky. It would be potluck style, and everyone was bringing something to share. That massive dining room table was going to be used for its intended purpose for the very first time, and she was glad of that. She needed family right now, and hers were all happy to come and hunker down in this massive, empty mansion. Christmas was about family, wasn’t it?

  The silver mistletoe ornament glinted on the tree, and she plucked it off t
he bough and looked down at it in her palm. How many times had she pictured her own life of romance when she’d been young, looking at that mistletoe and imagining silly ways to be kissed underneath it? She smiled sadly. That was a long, long time ago. Was it time to let go of those hopes and be more reasonable?

  Jen gazed out the window. She could see Nick’s house aglow from across the road. She missed him, deeply. And she stared at the snow falling between them, her heart aching. If she closed her eyes, she could feel what it felt like to have his arms around her, his lips against hers, his beard tickling her face...her heart reaching for his.

  “Mom?”

  Jen pushed back the memory, feeling the heat on her cheeks. She turned to see Drew coming down the stairs. He must be done with his Xbox for the time being.

  “Hi, son,” she said.

  He came up to the tree and fingered some spruce needles between his fingers, then he squatted down to get a better look at his gifts.

  “I hope you like what I got you,” she said.

  “Can I open them now?” he asked, grinning cheekily.

  “You have to wait until Christmas morning,” she said with a low laugh. “You know how we do it.”

  “It was worth a try...” Drew sighed and the laughter evaporated from his eyes. He looked toward the window.

  “What are you thinking about?” she asked.

  “Just wondering what Dad’s doing,” he said. “Whatever. I don’t care.”

  Jen ran her fingers through her curls, tugging out a tangle, and then she eased onto the floor next to him.

  “You know what, Drew? You’re going to have to talk to him about this,” she said.

  “Maybe you could,” Drew said hopefully.

  “I think he needs to hear it from you,” she replied.

  “I don’t know...”

  “It’s not going to be so easy now that your dad and I live apart,” she said. “But you’re going to have to call him up and tell him what you’re feeling. You’ll have to make a few demands of your own. You’ve never been a kid to throw a fit, but there might be a time and place.” She smiled softly. “That’s my advice.”

  “You think?” He frowned.

  “I’m joking about the fit,” she said. “But you’ll have to talk to your dad and make yourself heard. I have a friend whose daughter got mad at him a long time ago and she never explained why. To this day, he’s really hurt by that. He wants to know. He wants to make it better. And with your father, I know how much he loves you. You need to talk this out.”

  Drew was silent.

  “Son, I know this is hard,” she went on. “And I’m willing to move us back to Denver if that’s what you need.”

  “Really?” Drew’s eyes lit up and he blinked back some tears. “Do you mean it, Mom? We could go back?”

  She sighed. “Yes. I mean it. I know that you need both your father and me in your life, and just because we’re divorced doesn’t mean I get to run off and have my adventures. I know your dad can be difficult, and that’s not your fault.”

  “It would be easier with us all in the same city,” Drew said. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. And I could go see Dad on weekends, and have my Xbox there. And then I could be with you during the week, because you help me with homework and stuff, and—” Drew sighed. “Otherwise, Dad is going to do this again. You know he will. And he’ll keep doing it. But if we live there—”

  “Then he can’t get off so easily,” Jen finished for him.

  “Yeah. Exactly.”

  Somehow, her twelve-year-old had grown up over the past few weeks, and she looked down at him sadly.

  “What’s wrong?” Drew asked.

  “Nothing,” she said, and she forced a smile. “We’ll sort it out, okay?”

  “Thanks.” Drew visibly relaxed and a smile stretched across his face.

  “But you call him now and tell him how you feel, got it?” she said.

  He nodded.

  “Go get your phone,” she said.

  Just as Drew was heading out of the room to get his cell phone, her own rang, and Jen felt a rush of hope that it would be Nick. But it was Renata. She picked up the call.

  “Hi, Renata,” she said. “How are you?”

  “Okay, but I need advice,” Renata said in a rush. “And Belle and Angelina don’t have kids, so I was hoping I could count on you. I need to bounce this off another mom. Is that okay?”

  Jen laughed softly. “Yeah. It’s fine. What’s up?”

  “Are you doing Christmas Eve stuff yet?” Renata asked.

  “No, we do Christmas morning,” Jen said. “What’s going on?”

  “Seb and I... Okay, so we went out for a couple of dates, and we talked for hours, and he’s really something...” Renata sighed. “The thing is, he wants to be my boyfriend—to let people know that we’re together.”

  “And?” Jen prompted.

  “And...” Renata sounded slightly breathless. “And I’m scared! What about the kids? They’ve been through enough, and I’m supposed to be their rock. Their dad is an ass, and I’m the one who holds us all together. But if I have a boyfriend, and the kids know about him, and...”

  “You’re scared if it doesn’t work out?” Jen asked.

  “Even if it does... This will affect them,” Renata said. “You know what I mean, right? The others won’t understand where I’m coming from, not having kids.”

  “You want my opinion?” Jen asked.

  “Yes. Please. Unfiltered. Just tell me what you think,” Renata replied.

  Jen let out a slow breath. She was emotionally spent, and she didn’t have the energy to sugarcoat this if she tried.

  “Okay, from what I’ve heard, Ivan is an ass,” Jen said. “I don’t know if he was a better guy when you married him, but he’s a definite creep now. All your kids have seen so far is their father treating their mother like garbage, and then their father moving on with girlfriends. Maybe it’s time they saw their mother treated right—it would be good for them to see you happy! There’s always a risk of finding another loser, but you know what? You can dump a loser. Go out with him, and if you want to get more serious with him, I don’t think it will hurt the kids at all.”

  Renata was silent.

  “I hope that wasn’t too harsh,” Jen said after a moment.

  “No, that was perfect,” Renata said with a shaky laugh. “I really like Seb. He’s sweet and strong, and he’s really attentive. He’s not a womanizer, either. He’s been single for a couple of years now. And... I like him.”

  “Good!” Jen said. “That’s a good thing!”

  “Okay. Just checking,” Renata said. “Thank you... So how are you doing?”

  “I’m okay,” Jen said, then she sighed. “I don’t know. I might be better giving advice than taking it right now. I’m going to be moving back to Denver.”

  “Why?” Renata asked. “What happened?”

  “My son needs his father in his life, and Sam just isn’t stepping up. If I’m in Denver, then Drew has his parents in the same city. He’ll see more of his dad, and Sam can’t sweep his son aside quite so easily. This is about what Drew needs right now.”

  “Hmm...” Renata sighed. “You do realize that Drew is going to watch his dad move on with whatever twenty-year-old he’s dating, and then watch his mom just put up with her situation, right?”

  “I’ll be the parent he needs me to be,” Jen said.

  “And you’ll be unhappy,” Renata said. “What about your gallery? What about that gorgeous mansion, and your family out here?”

  “I made a commitment when I decided to have a child—” Jen started.

  “For what it’s worth,” Renata said quietly. “You and I might have something in common. I think it would be good for Drew to see his mom happy, too.”

  Jen’s heart s
ped up in her chest, and her gaze flickered toward the windows in spite of herself.

  “That’s something to think about...” Jen said.

  “Besides, if you let that gorgeous old house go, it’s not going to be available if you change your mind,” Renata said.

  As much as Jen loved this old mansion, it wasn’t the house that was tugging at her heart. If she let Nick go, would she ever fully get over him? Love was rarer than most people realized... Would she find another man who made her feel like this, or would she end up looking back on the guy who got away? But she had a son to worry about, too, and she couldn’t put her own heart ahead of his.

  “Thanks, Renata,” Jen said. “Go get your man.”

  One of them should, at least.

  “I think I will,” Renata said with a laugh.

  When they said goodbye, Jen hung up the phone and headed back into the living room. Drew was on his phone, talking to his father.

  “You can’t just dump me like that, Dad!” Drew was saying. “What, am I some kind of embarrassment or something? Or are you planning on just starting over with Tiffany and having more kids?”

  Jen raised her eyebrows. Drew was getting right to the point, all right.

  “Yeah, well, some things might be for adults, but I don’t think Christmas is one of them!” Drew went on. “When you were a kid, did your dad send you away at Christmas?”

  Jen smothered a smile. Good. Let Drew have it out. It was good for him to say what he was feeling, and it was high time that Sam heard it. She paused at the window again, and this time she saw Nick coming across the street, Goldie at his heels. His coat was open in the front, and the falling snow clung to his hair.

  Maybe Nick was just walking his dog, but her heart was tugging her toward him. So she grabbed her coat and stepped into her boots.

  “I’ll be back in a minute!” she called over her shoulder.

  “I don’t think sorry is good enough this time...” Drew was saying. “You’re sorry, but I still don’t see you over Christmas. You’d better make this up to me!”

  Jen pulled the door shut behind her. Drew would be just fine in his conversation with his father.

 

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