Relics- The Chronicles of Solomon Drake

by Robert York

  The twins mirrored the albino’s movements, however they moved more gracefully and more fluid like smoke moving on a light breeze. Both were about five seven in height, dressed exactly the same in red and black leather jumpsuits covering their bodies from their necks all the way down to their feet. The suits made a distinctive sultry creaking noise leather makes when a person moves in it, a very distracting sound.

  To be perfectly honest they filled out those jumpsuits nicely. I had a heck of a time keeping my eyes off their more interesting features. Each had long blonde hair, braided into high tight topknot ponytails. They possessed the kind of faces and bodies you might see gracing the pages of popular fashion magazines. Their skin, also pale, but not as pale as the albino’s was very attractive. I couldn’t see their eyes because they were wearing dark wraparound sunglasses as well; theirs however looked more stylish and far more expensive.

  “Who I am is inconsequential… The question I asked was have you seen a Cob Elf?” The albino spoke slowly and precisely talking to me as though I were a child of five.

  “No I haven’t,” I answered mimicking his tone and inflection.

  Of course I saw the Cob Elf, he was lying unconscious in the back room, but he didn’t need to know that. Besides I didn’t know who the hell this joker or these women were.

  “That’s strange,” the albino said mockingly. “We tracked him to this location,”

  “He’s lying to you my Lord… Yes, lying through his mortal teeth.” The twins said in unison, like they were sharing the same brain and mouth.

  That wasn’t creepy or anything.

  They said mortal teeth. Which meant that they probably weren’t mortal themselves and if a fight broke out I’d be at a disadvantage. The twins took a few steps forward fanning out away from the albino, attempting I supposed to position themselves in such a way as to prevent me from escaping should I try to beat a hasty retreat. The way my heart was pounding in my chest the thought was tempting. The albino’s lips tightened turning a dark pink color then he said.

  “Are you lying to me young man? If there is one thing I cannot stand is to be lied to,” his eyes fixed on me. “My companions are very good at knowing when someone is lying to me… I hope for your sake this is the first time they’re wrong,”

  His fingers squeezed tighter around the shaft of the cane.

  “However, if my associates are correct and you are lying to me, I would have no other choice but to let these lovely ladies have a private talk with you. Wringing the truth from difficult people is something they enjoy immensely. We can be reasonable here however,” he paused brushing a bit of lint from his jacket lapel.

  “All I want is the Elf nothing more… Now be a good young man and tell me where he is.”

  The twins grinned, each mirroring the others movements, showing their perfectly white teeth. Whitey should ask them where they get their teeth cleaned and polished. I also noticed one other thing about the twin’s smiles; their long pointed canine teeth.

  Vampires.

  Great… As long as they didn’t try to use their glamour on me I should be fine. Whitey however, was far more dangerous of the three. I could feel dark oily energy swirling around him the longer he stood in front of me. He was gathering magic, which was bad. It meant he was anticipating a fight or more accurately wanting to start one. I really didn’t want to have to get into a fight here in the store, but there was no way in hell I was giving the little guy up to these three. Sigh. Having a conscious can really suck at times.

  “Look, I don’t want any trouble.”

  “Then give me the Elf!” Whitey barked cutting me off, an icy threat contained in his words.

  “Can we have him now? Yes, can we? We think he would be so much fun and very tasty.” The Vampire twins said in uncontrolled anticipation.

  They were looking at me like a pair of hyenas waiting for a lion to get finished with its kill so they could swoop in to finish up the remains. They wanted me and not in a good way. I didn’t want to think what would happen if they got their icy hands on me.

  “Patience ladies... Patience... I’m sure this young man will do the right thing and if he doesn’t then you will have an opportunity to persuade him,”

  The albino raised his left wrist glancing at his watch.

  “I’ll give him approximately nine seconds to produce the Elf,” he said.

  The twins shifted their weight anxiously waiting for Whitey to give the word. I really didn’t have time for this.

  “Look Whitey...”

  Oops.

  Did I just call him Whitey? Yeah… By the angry expression on his face I’m afraid I did. For some reason the editing feature that controlled what I was thinking and what I should be saying wasn’t working today. OK, it rarely ever worked. Maybe it’s because I was hungry and in turn made me a tad grumpy. That wasn’t true either; I speak my mind and have absolutely no tact, besides he’s trying to intimidate me. I don’t like being intimidated.

  “I haven’t seen any Elf.” I continued. “If I do I’ll be sure to let you know. In the meantime this is a store, either buy something or get the hell out and take the young ladies with you.”

  Whitey’s face clouded over in anger. As I have said, I couldn’t see his eyes, but I knew he was pissed. I made sure my left hand rested on a round magic symbol carved into the wood of the counter. It was a defensive spell I came up with a while back in lieu of keeping a gun under the counter. Barnabas disliked guns and wouldn’t let me keep one at hand. He always said,

  “We’re Wizards, guns are beneath us,”

  Sometimes a gun would come in handy, I don’t care how powerful a Wizard he or she thinks they are, a jacketed round to the head will kill your enemy just as quickly as a spell. Anyway, this particular spell was designed to immobilize an attacker with fine spider web like strands. The more you struggled the more entangled you’d become. Most spells, however require you to put energy into them to work, which sort of tips your hand to the Wizard you’re facing off against. Any Wizard worth their salt can feel an opponent gathering magic for an attack. This one didn’t need any energy channeled through it to work. I made it sort of like a mousetrap. All I had to do was take my hand off the magical symbol and the trap would activate.

  Pretty cool huh?

  The way this conversation was heading I’d need to activate it soon. The Vampire twins looked like they were going to lunge at me at any moment.

  “You killed my Master!” Came a furious high pitch voice to my right.

  I paused blinking, stunned by this new voice. I think we all looked to the spot where the voice originated, however I wasn’t sure. I didn’t see anyone, so I lowered my gaze. There stood the Cob Elf. He was awake though he appeared to be in pain, a visible knot on his head. He stood next to the counter, his feet firmly planted, right arm raised. I could see magical energy swirling around his out stretched hand. It was like looking through heat rising off an asphalt road on a scorching hot day. A hate filled expression on his face. Whitey tensed.

  “Well… well… well... There you are you troublesome little creature,”

  Whitey turned fixing his eyes on me.

  “I’ll deal with you in a moment,”

  He turned his attention back to the Cob Elf. Gripping his cane harder, he leveled it at his diminutive foe. The Elf raised his left arm. A faint shimmering blue shield emanated from the palm of his outstretched hand. A half dome of pure defensive energy sprang to life. I can create shields and barriers with various forms of energy to protect myself as well. However my abilities were not in the same class as this Cob Elf’s. Elves are magical creatures, meaning they’re born with the ability to wield magic. High and Dark Elves are the most powerful respectively, followed by Forest Elves, then the Cob Elves. They’re sort of the blue-collar members of the Elf family. Basic magic spells, disappearing, fixing things, healing, cooking, making toys, pretty much everything you’ve read or seen about them in movies and books.

  “Let’s
all just take it easy now,” I said with absolutely no confidence that any of us were going to be taking it easy.

  The tension in the store was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Whitey and the twins were poised, ready to pounce. The Elf was as unmovable as a granite mountain and my palms were sweating profusely. I was scared to death trying my best not to show it. My weapons and focus items were nowhere near me, however there were a couple of Louisville Slugger baseball bats under the counter to my right. If I could only get to one, I’d feel more at ease. I concentrated intensely on a bat; I could feel a nervous smile appearing on my face. In retrospect I could see how that smile could’ve been misinterpreted in this delicate situation, because Whitey and the twins were not amused at all.

  “Kill them!” Whitey hissed through clinched teeth.

  “Crap!” I exclaimed.

  Actually I think I used a word that sounded a lot like “Spit”

  The twins lunged straight for me; their motions were lightening fast, like the strike of a coiled rattler. Two pairs of five-inch straight double-edged daggers blurred into view from sheaths I assumed were worn behind their backs. The twins spun the blades weaving them through their fingers with practiced skill. I had only a split second to act. I took my hand off the magic symbol, ducking down to the right, reaching for one of the baseball bats. This was an excellent opportunity for me to see if all those hours I spent at Macomb’s Batting Cages paid off.

  Thousands upon thousands of delicate clear strands of spider web like material exploded from the walls, the ceiling and the floor. The sunlight shone through the front windows hitting the strands in such a way creating a prismatic effect that bathed the inside of the store with a rainbow of color. The strands looked like spun glass seeking out any movement on the other side of the counter. The twin closest to me on the left became entangled in a mass of strands. She was pulled to the floor screaming and thrashing. The other twin dodged the strands ending up near the store’s front door with such a graceful display of tumbling and acrobatics that would make the entire US gymnastics team envious.

  Whitey on the other hand took a different approach in dealing with my trap. He unleashed a strike of dark tendril magic from the end of his cane at the Elf. No sooner had the strike been released, his overcoat was in his left hand using it like a matador’s cape tempting a bull. He swept it in a circle around him, gathering the strands like they were spun cotton candy. He made one complete circle then discarded the smoking coat to the floor. Facing the Elf once more. The coat bubbled and melted before my eyes. Dark magic struck the Elf’s shield, exploding into a white light forcing the little guy back two or three feet before it dissipated. The Elf let loose a magical strike of his own. Hundreds of ice shards the size of golf tees shot from his fingers hurdling at Whitey.

  Whitey lifted his left hand palm out moving it in a counterclockwise circle in front of him. A wall of green fire appeared. The ice shards turned to steam on contact. I caught a blur of motion to my left. I turned just in time to see the Vampire twin that avoided my defensive spell running along the wall as if it were a stadium track. I raised my left hand and thought the Latin words,

  “Erigo Contego,”

  A translucent blue shield roughly forty inches in diameter appeared in front of my out stretched hand. The Vampire twin launched herself off the mural of King Arthur, throwing both arms above her head aiming her daggers straight at me. Her body was straight and rigid; she had the look of a missile zeroing in on me. I leaned into the shield bracing myself for the impact. The baseball bat I held was back and ready to be employed in an old fashioned yet still useful clubbing motion. However as what usually happens nothing really goes to plan.

  The Vampire used the counter as a springboard. Her hands made contact with the heavy flat surface allowing her to flip over my shield landing behind me. I dropped the bat and defensive shield moving into a crouch scything her legs out from under her with a low sweep kick. I’d say watching all those Kung Fu movies on television when I was an impressionable little boy finally paid off. The Vamp was fast, too fast actually for my mortal reflexes. She was up and coming at me once again. I raised my hand palm out facing her thinking the Latin phrase,

  “Conicio Incednia”

  I pushed my hand toward her. A ball of yellow fire the size of a basketball hurdled toward her head. The fireball hit its mark, impacting square in the middle of her face. Her painful screams were almost too much for my ears to handle. She dropped the daggers bringing her hands to her face. I could see the remains of her melted sunglasses dripping from between her clenched fingers. I knew I only had moments before her face began healing and she’d be at my throat wanting to tear it out. So I picked up the baseball bat swinging hard, cracking it right across the right side of her face. The bat broke off at the handle right above where I gripped it sending the head of the bat sailing into a shelf of magical reference books. She went down in an unconscious heap. I turned to see the other Vampire twin almost free of her bonds. *

  I blinked taking my eyes off the scene around me. The whole situation gave me pause. I’d dodged death’s icy hand by the barest of margins. I turned my attention to the front of the store. There I saw Barnabas wearing his well-worn brown winter jacket and a look of concern planted on his face. His thick brown hair peppered with streaks of gray was tousled by the mild December wind. He and Oswald stood just inside the door of the magic shop. Their right arms out stretched; motes of white wisps of subtle power swirling around their fingertips and hands were evident. They’d used an immobilizing spell on everyone in the store but me. Behind them towering over my two rescuers stood Glum, itching to get in on the fighting.

  He loved a good brawl every now and then. In matter of fact all Trolls enjoyed brawling. They lived for it. To Glum’s left was Sister Marianna. She was head of the Catholic orphanage where I lived until the age of fourteen. She’d left the Order many years ago because she was smitten with one Barnabas Blackmane. Her religious beliefs and personal desires just didn’t mesh, so she had to give something up. The church lost a good nun, however I gained a mother figure. Though I still can’t seem to break the habit - see what I did there - of calling her Sister Marianna. She stood a little over five and a half feet tall, however her outspoken nature made you think she was a lot taller. In spite of the tableau she was now witness to, her face bore her signature heartwarming smile. At times like these her demeanor reminded me of a kindly old aunt instead of the battle-hardened nun that now stood in the doorway. I noticed in one of her hands she carried two huge grease stained brown paper bags. In the other a beverage caddie with four large soft drinks seated inside. The cavalry had arrived in the nick of time and they brought lunch. There is a God.

  “Solomon?” Barnabas began, concern laced in his thick English accent. “Can you hear me?”

  “Yeah... I’m fine.” I said. “When did you all get here?”

  “Right when the young lady over there intended to give you a close shave.” Barnabas said, a reproving tone in his voice.

  “Haven’t I taught you to immobilize your opponent with a spell to prevent them from attacking you when your attention is elsewhere?”

  “Yes... I just didn’t think...”

  “Didn’t think?” He said abruptly cutting me off. “Your careless disregard for the basics of magical defense will get you killed one day...”

  “Barnabas.” Oswald said in a calming voice. “Perhaps it would be best if we left Solomon’s performance evaluation for another more appropriate time.”

  Barnabas turned scowling at him. Oswald met his eyes indicating the scene in front of us with a subtle gesture of his head. Barnabas looked at the state of his shop and the combatants. He cleared his throat puffing out a quick burst of air sounding like a frustrated horse being denied a cube of sugar.

  “Yes... Quite right my old friend. Best to take care of this problem first.”

  Barnabas leveled his outstretched hand at the albino facing away from him.


  “Let’s get a look at everyone shall we.”

  He made a gesture toward the ceiling extending his index and middle fingers, turning his hand in a half circle. The albino’s frozen form turned around facing Barnabas. Recognition filled Barnabas’s expression; his eyes grew wide in shock. He’d seen this man before.

  “Rahm...” He gasped.

  Even though he was immobilized, you could sense the sadistic satisfaction at Barnabas’s recognition.

  “But you’re dead... You shouldn’t be here… I watched you die.” Barnabas said, recovering from the shock of seeing this man again.

  Barnabas made a slight gesture with an index finger. The albino’s head moved with a subtle shudder then he smiled at Barnabas.

  “Hello Barnabas… Yes, I remember that day very well. I almost died. You, Bialek and that fat body standing beside you just stood there watching as I was pulled into that magical rift...”

  “Which you conjured using black magic!” Oswald spat interrupting. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never heard him speak to anyone like that.

  “Yes, I did and it would’ve worked if it hadn’t been for you two, Hans Bialek and that Troll meddling in my business,”

  Rahm chuckled maniacally then spoke again.

  “All I wanted to do was learn all that there was to learn about magic, but you Oswald and this self-righteous hypocrite beside you denied me at every turn. How was I Barnabas, your apprentice to learn when you decided that certain arts were too dangerous,”

  He looked to Barnabas meeting his eyes. Absolute hatred burned within them. He wanted Barnabas, Oswald and Glum dead, just like Bialek. Rahm then looked to me.

  “My old Master is just as pathetic now as when I was his pupil,”

  Rahm turned back to Barnabas.

  “Where did you get this one? Off the street like you found me? Trying to rehabilitate him as well? Showing him the ways of magic and all that other tripe you tried to make me believe?”