Almost Had You

by Rachel Robinson

  “I’m shutting the door because I don’t want Bentley or anyone else that might show up to see you, but I’m not doing anything inappropriate with you. You would think it a mistake in the morning.” He’s right. Like always. But that doesn’t mean I can’t at least have a little of him. A small taste. Mercer donkey kicks the door closed and steps back to lock it, all while watching me. He swallows hard. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. I should leave the room right now.”

  I take a step toward him. “But you won’t.”

  His chest moves up and down rapidly. He shakes his head as his reply. “I want you,” he drawls.

  “I’ve wanted you all day long. Since the moment I saw you at the airport,” I reply, sauntering forward a step. The air is electric, and my hope is his mind goes on autopilot. I want mischief.

  He smirks. “That would mean more if it didn’t smell like tequila.”

  “Touché.” I smile back. “You’re right about a couple things. I don’t want to lose my virginity drunk and I do want to remember it. You’re wrong about something, though. Losing it to you wouldn’t be a mistake. That’s what I want. Just maybe not while South of the Porder is the funniest joke I’ve ever heard.” I crack myself up, covering my mouth to stifle the laughter.

  Mercer laughs but stops before I do. “If that’s the case then you should get dressed. The thoughts running through my mind aren’t very pure, ma’am. In fact, I’m not sure they’ve ever been more impure.”

  I take another step toward him, letting my fingers finally touch the skin on his chest. I step back so I can watch them run over his hot, sweaty skin. Heat clings to him—everything wants to be on him right now. “Clover,” he rasps, eyes watching my hands move against his body, a methodical study laced with nefarious intent. “You’re not well versed on how things work behind closed doors, I realize. But when the only thing standing between my dick and your body is a pair of jeans and a scrap of lace, touching me like that makes things a bit more challenging. How about we both get some clothes on?”

  Ignoring his pleas, I watch my hands glide over firm muscle. “Question,” I say.

  “Can my virginity leave this room intact by morning if you stay with me tonight?”

  He pulls away from me, “Woah, woah, woah.”

  “I’m not a horse,” I say, teasing, biting my bottom lip waiting for his reply.

  He fists his hands by his sides. “On a normal day, when I’m not strung out from being away from home for six months, probably, but tonight? When I’m realizing I might be in over my head with you, I’m not so sure.” Mercer shakes his head twice, slowly.

  “You call the shots,” I say. “Tell me to stop. We can take breaks. Even sleep if you want to. I don’t want this to end. I want you to stay with me. I’ve never been able to reach out and take what I want before. Not without balancing what it would cost.”

  “Don’t forget the most important part there, killer. You want to wake up a virgin. Woah,” he says once again, dragging both hands through his hair. He glances up at the ceiling and looks like he’s praying, lips opening and closing. After several seconds of him muttering things I can’t understand, he says, “Fine. You have to listen to me though. What have you done with men? I need you to be honest.” He runs a hand down his face. “Have mercy, I’ve never sobered up so quickly in my entire life.”

  “And I’ve never been this drunk in my entire life.”

  “Another point in the ‘I should leave this room right now’ column. You aren’t helping your case, here.” He slings his hands on his hips. I back onto the bed and kick back the musty comforter. “Answer my question, Clover. What experience do you have?”

  “What’s it matter?” I pat the bed next to me.

  “It matters to me.” Mercer stalks to the end of the bed and watches me, blue eyes blazing into my own. “Tell me.”

  “You’re killing the mood.”

  “Good. I think that would be best anyway.”

  “Kissing. Fondling. I’ve let a few guys get to third base, but I have zero experience on how to do anything to a man. Properly anyway.” I laugh. “There isn’t much proper about doing things to a man, is there?”

  He tosses his arms out to the sides. “Hilarious, Clover. If you can’t talk about it without laughing, how improper are the actual acts going to feel? What does get to third base mean to you? I want to make sure you aren’t using an antiquated system.” He presses his lips together and adds, “You’re not doing anything to me tonight,” he deadpans. “I’m not doing anything to you either. At least not until you’re sober.” I fold my arms across my chest. Bentley must have come back into the cabin because the song switches and the stereo volume increases.

  “That doesn’t sound like any kind of fun,” I say.

  “Trust me, I feel the same way. Let’s make out,” Mercer says, licking his lips. “My pants stay on and in a perfect world so would your shirt, but your body is,” he says, clearing his throat, “pardon me for saying, is so fucking beautiful that covering it up would be a crime. I’ll deal with what it’s doing to me. Don’t worry.”

  Yes. Yes. Yes. This feels so right. Nothing has ever felt this natural. Why is it happening now? “What’s my body doing to you?”

  He crawls toward me and when his hands are on each side of my head, he says, “You’ll be able to feel that soon enough.” His lips pull into a delicious side smirk.

  He lays down on his side and pulls me to face him. Mercer cradles my head and brings his lips against mine. They move with mine for several seconds. He pulls away too soon. “I forgot to breathe,” he says, inhaling noisily, and chuckling. Butterflies flap in my stomach and my head swims.

  My skin feels electric where it touches his. “I took your breath away, huh?” I slide closer to him, pressing my breasts firmly against his chest and rubbing my skin on his. Mercer’s hand slides down to my neck, then to my collar bone, and down my arm and rests on my hip. Mercer’s fingers glide over the side of my panties. I kiss his mouth again. It’s still wet from our last kiss. He tastes like tequila and everything forbidden. A combination that is toxic—to not only my body, but to the very core of my being. He groans as he clutches my panties in a tight fist.

  Against my mouth, he says, “I want to take more than your breath away. I’d start with these.” He grasps the lace so tight, they cut into my skin. He groans again and deepens the kiss, his tongue possessing my mouth. My stomach spins and I forget my own name. Wetness floods my panties and I lose my breath. It all happens at once. I’ve kissed men before, but this feels different. I don’t want it to end, and I’m not worried about what it will cost in the morning. I’ve underestimated what it feels like to take what I want and accept what is freely given.

  “Maybe you should do just that then,” I say, laying my hand on top of his, the one clutching my panties.

  Mercer rolls on top of me, placing his hips between mine. “Maybe I should.” His neck works as he swallows. I feel him hard, through his jeans. Mercer leans down and kisses my chest, just once. I feel it all over my body. He takes one of my nipples in his mouth and it feels like it’s connected to my core. I clench tightly. Then again Mercer moves over to the other nipple.

  “You should,” I moan out, wrapping my legs around his waist. “You really should.”

  He drags his tongue along my neck, up to my ear. “What would everyone say?”

  “That Clover got something she wanted,” I fire back. “That Mercer is the king that conquered the Ice Queen? I don’t care what they say.” In this moment, I really don’t care. I’d take the backlash if it meant feeling Mercer inside me. Finally losing my virginity to a man who knows exactly how to work my body. His experience is a sure bet.

  “You want it?” he asks, thrusting his hips so he rubs against my core.

  Closing my eyes, I fantasize about the scenarios that could take place. “More than I thought was possible.” He kisses me again.

  Against my lips, he says, “Good.”


  My heart rate ratchets up and the familiar Lynyrd Skynyrd song vibrates against the thin wall. We both smile. “Here’s the thing, I care what people say, Clover.” He leans back, looking down at me, shaking his head. “I could fuck you right now and prove everyone right. Or, I could show you the real side of me and you can let the real side of you come out and we could really have something together.”

  “Why does that make me want sex even more?”

  He laughs, his smile makes me wetter than I was a second before. He mumbles the lyrics to the song we’ve both heard a billion times. This time they mean a little more than they used to. “Sweet Home Alabama,” he whispers softly, resting his forehead on mine.

  “I’ll take the second option tonight. But that first option better be on the menu eventually.”

  He shakes his head. “Killer, I’ll let you order whatever you want when your requests don’t smell like tequila.”

  Chapter Five

  ___________________________________

  Clover

  “THANK GOD YOU don’t have a job,” I say, sitting in the passenger side of Bentley’s work truck. We dropped him off at the main office for desk duty and Mercer just returned to the cab with a pink shopping bag. “Right now, I mean. You don’t really have a job right now.”

  “I have a job, I’m on leave. You’re lucky I like shopping for ladies on my downtime.” He hands me the familiar boutique bag and I peek inside. I’d take anything at this point. I’m wearing Jimmy’s hunting jacket over my bra and panties. My hair is tied up into a top knot and my face is bare of makeup. I. Am. Scandalous. I. Am. Free. “I saw a few dresses that had Clover written all over them, but I bought you something a little more appropriate for what I have planned for us today.” It’s a pair of jeans, cowboy boots, socks, and a tank top. We went over my sizes before he entered one of my favorite stores. We also went over what to say to the ladies who work there if they asked who the clothes were for.

  I smell like a dead animal mated with a bottle of Old Spice and it makes me want to vomit. I couldn’t stroll into the rental car place wearing Mercer’s shirt. Nor could I enter my parents’ property looking like I’d been ridden hard and hung up wet. “What are we doing today?” I ask, glancing over my shoulder to make sure no one is around before shimmying off Jimmy’s jacket to don my new clothing.

  Mercer clears his throat and rests a hand on his mouth. “Before you were nearly naked, I thought we could go four-wheeling out in the East Woods.” He pauses, gaze picking parts of my body to study. I’d be self-conscious if I didn’t know exactly how much Mercer likes my body. He must have told me a thousand different ways last night, maybe even in a foreign language once or twice. “Now that you’re almost naked, I’d like to kiss every single inch of your body.”

  “Both plans sound acceptable,” I say, pulling on the jeans. “Drop me off at the rental car place and I’ll meet you at your house at two.” I tell him he should spend some time with his parents since he missed church and I need time to deal with the damages from last night. My phone buzzes from my purse. It’s Tannie. “I have to take this. I’m sorry.”

  “Back to reality, huh?” he jokes, but my stomach sinks. It’s accurate. I have so much to deal with before I can truly be free with him for three weeks of untethered madness. I slide the tank over my head and answer the call.

  “I’m fine. I’m alive.”

  “Are you still intact? That’s the only important factor here. Did the master of mack show you his ways?”

  I meet Mercer’s gaze, and he looks like he’s floating on a cloud as he takes in my new outfit. I mouth the words, thank you, as I slide my hands down the jeans that fit like a glove. He nods, a dreamy smile on a pair of lips I want to kiss more than anything else right now.

  “Since when was it appropriate for you to talk like a dirty, drunk male? A lady never kisses and tells, and for your information, everything is still intact, including your bitty varmint personality.”

  Tannie huffs. “I’m sorry. Seriously though?”

  I stare out of the windshield. It gives me a better idea than a rental car. “Listen, Tannie. I’m coming over. I need to borrow your old BMW for a few days.” I pause. “I’ll tell you everything about last night.”

  I hear her clap. “Of course. Did he deflower you in your car? Is it defiled? Does it need to be detailed because of the mess it made? Oh, I knew it was going to be dirty. I’m so jealous you got a taste of that.”

  I swallow hard. Letting her believe her own lie will be less harmful than telling her the truth. Even if it makes my stomach hurt. I’ve protected my integrity for nearly thirty years, and it’ll be gone to the Greenton gossip mill in a matter of seconds after I hang up this call. Sherlock. I meet Mercer’s eyes. I’ll lose it to him eventually. Maybe even today. “You know me so well,” I tell Tannie, choking on the last word. “It was amazing.”

  Mercer’s eyes widen. I shake my head. Tannie squeals like a piglet. “I’ll tell you everything when I get there. Thanks for letting me borrow Sara-Beth. I owe you.” I hang up the phone.

  “It was amazing, huh?” Mercer says, pressing his lips together in a smirk. “To Tannie’s then? You sure that lie was a good idea?”

  “The man at the rental car place would ask too many questions. I made a snap judgment call. She will tell the town we had sex, but at least I’ll control the narrative. I really want to take care of my car situation without my parents finding out. It’s best for my cause.” He pulls out of the parking lot. “If I tell them about moving out and getting a job at Goldie’s, at least I’ll have something to stand on without their help.” Mercer is chuckling. I remind him where Tannie lives.

  “Thanks for the clothes again. You did a great job picking stuff out. You’ve done it a lot, I’m guessing. Girlfriends in the past or whatnot.”

  He runs a hand over the scruff on his jaw. “I’ve had a relationship with my job. The clothes are because I know you. I don’t think I’d be able to get it right for another woman.”

  “You don’t know me. Not anymore,” I reply, looking out the window. The cows are in the big field today.

  Mercer clears his throat. “I know you better now, after one night, than I ever did before.” He pauses. “You really don’t care that everyone is going to think we did the deed last night?”

  “There are more pressing matters in the world.”

  “Your parents?” Mercer presses.

  I suck in a breath. “I’ll deal with them. Tell them the truth. Well, not the whole truth, but you know?” I lean over and put on the cowboy boots. They’re tight like all new leather boots. I’ll have blisters in no time.

  “You’re beautiful,” he rasps, drawing my gaze to the side of his smiling face.

  “And that’s not the tequila talkin’,” I say.

  His grin widens. “It never was, ma’am.” We pull into Tannie’s drive. It’s a modest home, in a great neighborhood where real estate goes for a ton more than it should.

  Mercer pushes the drive shaft into park and looks over at me. “Last night was fun.”

  “Could have been more fun,” I fire back.

  He nods. “Three weeks. You sure you’re ready for this adventure?”

  My stomach flips, and I lean over to kiss him. He grabs my head with one hand and pulls me in tighter. When he releases me, we’re both breathing heavy, minds recalling last night when we wore less clothes and had one thing on our minds. Mercer hops out of the truck and goes around the open my door. My boots hit the ground and he lays another kiss square on my mouth. “Two o’clock sharp, ma’am.”

  I nod. “I’ll be there.”

  He waits until I’m inside Tannie’s house before he jumps back into Bentley’s truck and leaves. Tannie’s voice screeches down the hall. I turn and face my best friend. She’s already impeccable, face done, hair coifed, and dress crisply pressed. “Clover Wellsley,” she spits out, gaze roving over my nonstandard outfit. Are you okay?” She raises one brow.

&n
bsp; I smile wide. That remains unchanged, I think. “Do you know how good that man looks naked? You don’t. Let me tell you.”

  Suddenly, my outfit is all but forgotten and she’s leading me into her gossip parlor offering me sweet tea and finger sandwiches. Who is counting my lies at this point?

  _______________

  My mama bought my story about getting my windows tinted. She taught me how to tell white lies with success, so she doesn’t really have anyone to blame but herself. I feel the least guilty about lying to her. I know I only have a little while until Tannie spreads the details of my illicit romp with Mercer far and wide. What I didn’t tell Mercer is that it’s part of my plan to cut myself loose from my chains. I’ll be sullied. Less likely to nab a suitor my parents are thrusting my way. I feel most guilty for that, but he should know better than getting tangled up with a woman like me. He even told me he cared about what people said, what they thought of us.

  I push open my glass front door and I’m met with a pleasant smell of gardenias. It’s the scent of cleaner Maria uses. It’s the perfect temperature, cool, but not cold. Everything is impeccable in here, and I can’t deny I’ve gotten used to a certain standard of living over the years. The wheels of my plan are starting, and I know I’m going to leave all of this behind. I’ve lived in the house on my parents’ property since I turned eighteen. It’s an allusion of privacy—a scrap of dignity because they assume I’ll always be here.

  I open the fridge and pour myself another glass of iced tea. This stuff is made with fake sugar. My mama gives the orders to the chef about all of the food and drinks in both of our houses and because I’m trying to match with a suitor, the phrase this decade is “slim hips sink ships.” Wincing, I swallow the last of it. It tastes like garbage after having the real stuff at Tannie’s house. “Tannie’s hips are still slim, Mama,” I growl at the empty glass, rinsing it and setting it in the sink.

  I take a real shower, with all of my favorite products, take my time with my hair and makeup and pop a Tylenol to stave off the lingering effects of last night’s tequila binge. I can hold my liquor, but I’ve reached the age where I feel it longer. Another sign of my dwindling youth. I take care in my oversized closet selecting a matching bra and panty set. I cut off the tags and lotion my entire body before putting the outfit Mercer picked out back on. I smile as I look at myself in the mirror.