by Teri Wilson
“Of course, dear. I just love little Nicky.” Alice glanced at her antique wristwatch. “I’ve got a crochet class starting in just a little bit, and most of the students are new moms. He’s sure to be doted on. Take your time, and be careful. The snow is really coming down out there.”
“Thanks so much. It should only take a few minutes, though.”
There wasn’t much to say to Brad Walker, really. I give up. The studio is yours. Where do I sign?
She forced a smile but felt a little sick to her stomach as Alice’s gaze narrowed.
“Are you sure everything is okay? I’m always here if you need to chat.” The older woman’s face creased into a benevolent grin, and Felicity almost felt like crying. She remembered Madison once saying that her aunt seemed like a mind reader, and Felicity finally understood what she’d meant.
Was it really so obvious that she was on the verge of falling apart?
Felicity cleared her throat and shifted her gaze over Alice’s right shoulder. Who knew what would happen if she kept looking into Alice’s kind eyes? She might accidentally tell all, and that was the last thing she needed to do. She could practically see the headline on tomorrow’s edition of the Lovestruck Bee already.
Felicity Hart turns down Wade Ericson, Lovestruck’s most desirable bachelor!
“I’m fine,” she said. But the second the words were out of her mouth, she spied something hanging on the wall behind the yarn store’s front counter that stunned her into silence.
Right there, pinned to a bulletin board with colorful scalloped trim, were a pair of knitted socks that were remarkably similar to the ones that Wade wore around the house all the time. The pair on display in Alice’s shop clearly weren’t as well-worn as Wade’s. The multicolored yarn was crisp and bright, and Alice’s socks still held their shape instead of being saggy and stretched out like the ones she found so amusing every time she spied them on Wade’s feet. How had she described them to Madison?
Hideous. Albeit, sort of adorably so. It was kind of a relief to see the nerdier side of the man who every single woman in town wanted to marry.
“Those socks.” She pointed at the bulletin board. The words Upcoming Craft Projects were printed on a card near the top of the corkboard in the kind of swirly hand lettering that was currently all the rage on Instagram. “Wade has a pair just like them.”
Alice turned to glance over her shoulder at the socks and then nodded. “That’s right. His mother took the rainbow socks knitting class a while back. I offer it once a year.”
Wade’s mother? “Oh, I hadn’t realized the socks were handmade.”
“They are, yes.” Alice’s brow furrowed. “If I’m remembering correctly, that was the last knitting class Evelyn Ericson took before she got sick, the poor dear. She made several pairs.”
Felicity couldn’t speak all of a sudden. All she could seem to do was stare at the socks as Nick babbled happily in his bouncy seat.
“Class starts the day after tomorrow if you’re interested in joining us. No knitting experience necessary. I can always help you with the more challenging parts.” Alice’s gaze turned hopeful.
“I’m sorry. I don’t think so,” Felicity said. Now wasn’t the time to be putting down more roots in Lovestruck when she knew she’d be leaving right after Christmas.
And why would she want to torture herself by taking knitted rainbow socks with her when she left? Every time she wore them she’d think of Wade...
And his mother.
She’d obviously meant the world to him. He doted on her mischievous dog and he wore the socks she’d made every night, no matter how many times Felicity teased him about sending his picture to her friends at Fashionista for the Fashion Faux Pas section.
Her heart gave a tug, and she pressed the heel of her hand to her chest to try to get ahold of herself. Now wasn’t the time to go all aflutter over Wade—not when she was minutes away from giving up her future in Lovestruck. Even so, her head spun with the sudden realization that she’d been wrong about Wade all along. So had he, actually.
My, my, my. Look who’s a family man, after all.
“Are you sure you don’t want to sign up for the class? The socks make lovely Christmas gifts.” Alice reached into a drawer behind the counter and pulled out a sheet of pink paper. “Here’s the schedule. No need to commit right now. You know you’re always welcome here, dear. We’ll save you a seat, just in case.”
“Thank you.” Felicity blinked hard. What was happening? Was she going to cry now? In one of the busiest shops on Main Street?
Over a pair of ugly socks?
“Wade and his mom were really close, you know. His father wasn’t the nicest man, and I think Wade spent most of his life trying to make his mother realize how much she was loved. He felt very protective of her. She would be so glad to know that Wade has you and Nick now.” Alice placed her hand on top of Felicity’s as her fist tightened around the pink flyer, nearly crumpling it into a ball.
She shook her head and blinked ferociously as she denied their relationship yet again. “But it’s not like that between Wade and me. We’re not...”
She couldn’t finish, not this time. The words just wouldn’t come.
So she took a deep breath and bent to pick up her handbag so she could tuck the pink flyer away inside of it. Out of sight and—hopefully—out of mind. “Anyway, thanks again for watching Nick. I really should be going.”
But Alice wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying. Her attention was fixed squarely on Felicity’s pink handbag, sitting on the countertop between them.
“Oh, goodness.” Her hand fluttered to her throat as she angled her head for a closer look at the purse. “That’s not... It can’t be, can it?”
Felicity’s heart beat hard in her chest—so hard that she could hear her pulse throbbing in her ears. “Alice?”
“That’s her bag,” Alice said, nodding.
“Whose bag?” Felicity said, but somewhere deep down, she already knew.
“Evelyn’s. She bought it on her trip to Italy. It was her pride and joy.” Alice let out a dreamy sigh, and then her eyes welled up. “May I ask where you got it?”
Felicity started trembling so hard she could barely force the words out. “Wade gave it to me.”
Alice flashed her a knowing smile. “That’s an awfully special Christmas gift, don’t you think?”
Felicity couldn’t seem to look Alice in the eyes anymore. Her gaze darted to the pretty pink leather bag, but that made her feel even worse. Good gravy, what was happening? “It wasn’t exactly a Christmas gift. It was...something else.”
An apology.
She’d been so upset about her stupid Birkin that Wade had given her his mother’s bag. He’d told her he wanted to build a life with her—a family—and how had she’d reacted?
By telling everyone within earshot that there was nothing special going on between them. Over and over and over again. She’d just kept on saying it, even when she knew good and well that it wasn’t true. She had feelings for Wade. She’d had them for a long time now. She’d just been too afraid to admit—so afraid that she was about to give up her yoga studio and her fresh new start in Lovestruck.
She inhaled a shaky breath.
Open your heart.
Maybe it was time to do some apologizing of her own.
Chapter Fourteen
“It’s going to be a white Christmas,” Jack said as the fire engine heaved to a stop alongside Main Street.
“You think?” Wade stared out the windshield toward the heaps of snow piled up on either side of the road. Even after a lifetime spent in Lovestruck, he couldn’t quite tell where Main Street stopped and the sidewalk began. “Any other grand predictions? I’m all ears.”
Jack shot him a sidelong glance. “You really want me to go there?”
Wade si
ghed. He’d walked right into that one. “Not about my personal life. I’ve got that under control, thank you very much.”
“Under control? Really?” Jack nodded. The windows of the fire engine started fogging up with steam, but neither of them moved. “I suppose that’s why Felicity could barely look at you this morning at yoga. Or last night at the living nativity.”
Point taken. Things were strained between the two of them, but that wasn’t Wade’s fault. He’d been the one to put his heart on the line. He’d asked her to start a family with him—he’d wanted a real, permanent arrangement, and she’d soundly rejected him. There was no way Jack could blame the lingering awkwardness hovering over his fragile home life on Wade.
He couldn’t even blame things on the casserole queens.
“It’s not what you think,” Wade said quietly.
Jack shrugged. “How do you know what I’m thinking?”
“I just do.” Wade’s jaw clenched. They were supposed to be digging the fire hydrants up and down Main Street out of the snow, not hunkering down in the engine for a heart-to-heart. “You think I screwed up. You think I’ve done something to push Felicity away, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, the other night I suggested that we officially adopt Nick after Christmas—together—and she said no. So, there you go. I tried to make it work. I tried to make us work, but it’s not what she wants.”
Wade still wasn’t convinced that was the whole truth. Deep down, he had a feeling he knew exactly what Felicity wanted. But what Felicity wanted and what she was willing to give were two different things.
Wade couldn’t blame her, really. Felicity was heartbroken. Anyone could see that—heck, he’d spotted the hollow look in her eyes right from the start. Strangely enough, it was only now that he knew her whole story that he realized her tender vulnerability was one of the things that had attracted him to her in the first place. When everyone in town had been showering him with pizza parties and casseroles, she’d been the one person who somehow seemed to understand how he felt after delivering a baby to a lost and lonely teenager. He hadn’t felt like a hero at all. Something inside of him had broken that day—a part of his heart would belong to that sweet, innocent baby for as long as Wade lived. No one could understand that like Felicity could.
And now, by some strange twist of fate, he had a chance to reclaim that tender piece of himself. He could give Nick the sort of home he deserved. But could he do it without Felicity?
Jack’s eyebrows rose. “Seriously? You told her you were in love with her?”
“Yes.” Something hardened deep in the pit of Wade’s stomach. That’s not quite what he’d said. “Well, no. Not in so many words.”
“Dare I ask what words were actually involved?”
Wade glared at Jack. He was starting to regret all the times he’d butted into his closest friend’s personal life. Turnabout was fair play, after all. “Listen, it’s not that simple. The situation is far more complicated than it seems.”
He didn’t want to betray Felicity’s confidence and spill all the details surrounding the baby she’d almost adopted. But Jack needed to understand what he was dealing with. This was real life with real problems, not some crazy episode of The Bachelor where all he needed to do was pick a woman, give her a rose and live happily-ever-after.
Jack shook his head. “If you love her, it’s as simple as three little words.”
That couldn’t possibly be true.
Could it?
Wade’s bones ached. He was tired—exhausted to his core. It had taken every ounce of strength he had to tear down the brick wall around his heart and let someone in. First Nick, and then Felicity. Or maybe it had been the other way around. He was no longer sure where one of them ended and the other began. He just knew that they felt like they were his. It seemed impossible that it would never be true, but he was doing his level best to accept it.
“I can’t force her to stay,” he said. “I can’t, and I won’t.”
“I get that. I do, but don’t you think you should at least be honest with her?” Jack gave him a bittersweet smile—one that Wade recognized in an instant. He hadn’t seen that particular expression on Jack’s face since the time he’d nearly lost Madison for good. “Learn from my mistakes, man.”
Wade let out a long, slow exhale and shook his head. “It’s just not the same.”
Wasn’t it, though? Wade had watched Jack try to get Madison to stay in Lovestruck by offering her the best of himself without being open about who he really was. It had been so obvious to anyone watching from the outside that it would never work. And it hadn’t...not until Jack had opened himself up in the most raw and real way possible.
Wade hadn’t done that with Felicity. He’d only torn the wall halfway down, and now there was even more he hadn’t told her.
“I applied to adopt Nick—not as a couple, but on my own.” Wade dropped his gaze to his lap. The world beyond the windshield was too bright, too full of holiday cheer for him to take right now.
He should have talked to Felicity again before he filled out the paperwork. He knew he should have, but he’d managed to convince himself that doing so would have made her feel pressured. And now here he was, trying to glue his fragile family together by any means possible.
There’s nothing between Wade and me.
Felicity’s voice rang in the back of his head. How many times had he told himself it wasn’t true? There was plenty going on between him and Felicity, more than either of them wanted to admit. And now the space between them was filled with secrets—one that had the potential to bind them together, and another that would tear them apart.
Jack went still beside him. After a long, quiet moment, he finally nodded. “You’ll make a great dad, Wade. I know you will, just as surely as I know Nick belongs with you. But you have to talk to Felicity. She deserves the truth—all of it, just like Nick deserves the both of you. And that will never happen unless you tell her you love her. I have a feeling that once you do that, the rest will sort itself out.”
Wade tried to take a deep breath, but a weight had settled on his heart that made it difficult to take in a lungful of air. He wanted to believe Jack, but he was almost afraid to hope. Jack hadn’t seen the anguish in Felicity’s eyes two night ago. Pain like that didn’t just work itself out. The best Wade could do was wait and be patient.
It was too late for that now, though. He’d already emailed the social worker. He knew he should have waited, but he’d sent the message in the wee hours of the morning after Felicity had shut him out. Nothing good came from decisions made at four a.m. Wade should have known better. He’d fought enough late-night fires to know people didn’t think straight in the middle of the night.
Christmas was only two days away. He needed more time—or better yet, a Christmas miracle.
He fixed his attention once again on the frosty windshield and the gentle swirl of snowflakes beyond the glass, craving the wind on his face. What he really wanted—needed—right now wasn’t a romantic pep talk, but the bitter wind on his face and snow crunching beneath his feet. He wanted the inevitable numbness that came with performing manual labor in the middle of a winter snowstorm while carrying seventy-five pounds of gear on his body. He wanted to just not feel for a while.
“Let’s get to work,” he said, reaching for the door handle. “Those fire hydrants aren’t going to dig themselves out.”
And then he stepped out into the cold. Alone.
* * *
Felicity pulled her coat more snugly around her frame as she left Main Street Yarn and blinked against a ferocious swirl of snow.
It was really coming down. No wonder Alice and the knitting ladies had warned her against taking Nick outside today. She hadn’t seen a snowstorm quite like this one in a long time, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a white Christmas in Manhattan.
&
nbsp; But, of course, she wasn’t in New York anymore. She was in Vermont, where winter—and the holidays, in particular—were larger than life. Of course Lovestruck would have a white Christmas. She’d probably wake up on Christmas morning and see reindeer prints in a blanket of glittering white in front of Wade’s cozy cottage.
And then the next day, we’ll turn Nick over to the social worker and I’ll be free to go. Free of Wade. Free of babies...for good.
A shiver coursed through her as she headed toward the Bean. If she planned on staying in Vermont, she’d probably need a better winter coat. One of those full-length puffy ones that were all the rage with the Lovestruck moms. They were about as glamorous as Wade’s rainbow socks, but a puffer coat sounded pretty good about now. And she’d definitely developed a soft spot for his socks.
Don’t think about the socks right now. Or the handbag. Or Wade, for heaven’s sake. There will be plenty of time to apologize after the papers are signed.
She could tell him she was sorry for mocking his socks and thank him profusely for the bag at the same time she broke the news about giving up the yoga studio. It would be like ripping off a Band-Aid. Or like ripping her heart straight out of her chest, one of those things for sure. Probably the latter.
Felicity paused outside the Bean, lingering on the sidewalk and waiting for a gust of wind to pick her up and carry her far, far away from Brad Walker and his paperwork. She wasn’t sure she could do this, especially after what she’d just learned about Wade. But every time she thought about staying and trying to make things with Wade permanent—and real—she remembered how she’d felt that day in the courtroom. In the blink of an eye, everything about her future had changed. It had been hard enough to go home to an empty crib all by herself. She couldn’t imagine losing a partner at the same time, and Wade hadn’t said a word about the two of them staying together if they weren’t able to adopt Nick.