Falling for the Forbidden: 10 Full-Length Novels

by Jessica Hawkins

  I wrapped my legs around him and drew him into me. “My Master,” I moaned in relief when he filled me to the hilt.

  A deep, pained sound slipped between his clenched teeth. He braced his arms on either side of my head and started to move within me, thrusting hard and deep. His forehead dropped to rest on mine, and he stared down into my eyes, his face drawn tight in an expression I didn’t understand.

  “Forgive me,” he whispered. “Forgive me, sirenita.”

  I didn’t know what he was talking about, and I couldn’t focus on his words. All I could think about was how good his big cock felt stretching my tight sheath, how perfectly we fit together. The ruthless pleasure that had been building inside me crested, and I shattered on a scream.

  My fingers fisted in his hair again, and I pulled his face down to mine so I could revel in his exquisite taste while my orgasm rolled through me. I caught his rough shout on my tongue, felt more wetness on my cheeks as his hot cum lashed into me, soothing the need that had consumed me. I shuddered beneath him as bliss flooded my body, making me light and tingly. My numb fingers fell from his hair, finally releasing him as all my muscles turned to jelly.

  I closed my eyes and slipped into velvety darkness, his softly-spoken words following me down into sleep: “Forgive me.”

  Chapter 23

  I stirred, slowly coming back to awareness. My body felt strangely heavy, and I was sore between my legs. I opened my eyes to find the shades drawn, with only the soft glow of city lights peeking around the edges. Night had fallen, but I was just waking up. Everything started to come back to me in pieces: Lauren, dosing me with Bliss; the red and gold room; the boy touching me; and Andrés, coming to my rescue like some dark avenging angel.

  I sat up, searching for him. He sat on the edge of the bed, watching me with bloodshot eyes. His posture was stiff, his face a blank mask. He was fully dressed in his sharp suit, but his hair was wet, as though he’d just taken a shower.

  “Thank you,” I murmured, reaching for him.

  He shifted away, grimacing. “Don’t thank me. I fucked you while you were high out of your mind. I violated you.”

  “No,” I said fiercely, grabbing his hand before he could retreat farther. “I begged you to.” Even though I hadn’t been able to control myself while under the influence, I remembered everything clearly now. “I needed you to. I was hurting. You helped me.”

  He turned his face away from me, but he didn’t pull his hand from my grip. “You shouldn’t have called me Master,” he said hollowly. “You shouldn’t have done that. I couldn’t—” He pressed his lips to a thin slash, holding in whatever he was going to say. “I’m not blaming you. You didn’t know what you were saying. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. You didn’t ask to be trapped with me. You didn’t ask to be beaten and raped.”

  “You didn’t rape me. Don’t you dare call it that. Don’t you dare.” Angry tears made my vision swim, and I swiped them away from my cheeks. “You were helping me. I trusted you to help me. I love you, Andrés. And I meant what I said. You’re my Master.”

  He rounded on me, his eyes blazing. “Don’t call me that,” he barked, his hand tightening around mine in a vise-like grip.

  I moved toward him, scooting across the bed so I could get in his face. “You did nothing wrong,” I said, imbuing the words with as much fervor as I possessed. “You saved me. You’ve been saving me this whole time. You’ve been protecting me from Cristian. He would have—”

  “He would have what?” he shouted over me. “Ordered Lauren to slip you Bliss and whore you out? That’s what he wanted, Samantha. He wanted you to scream in pleasure while they violated you. He wanted them to send you back to me, broken and used. He wanted to punish me for my failure. I should have killed him,” he hissed, his gaze turning feverish. “But I didn’t. I ran back to you as soon as he told me. He fucking laughed while I ran away from him.”

  “You got back to me in time.” I cupped his face in my hands, trying to get him to focus on me. “You saved me. You protected me.”

  He grabbed my wrists, squeezing to the point of pain. But he didn’t move my hands away from his face.

  “I can’t protect you,” he rasped. “I’m a coward. You deserve better than me.”

  “I don’t, and you’re not,” I asserted. “I want to be with you, Andrés. You’re not a coward.”

  “I’m afraid of him,” he admitted on a bitter whisper.

  “I know,” I said softly. “And I understand.”

  “You don’t. My face…” He trailed off with a shudder and cut his eyes away.

  I touched his scar, applying enough pressure to guide his face back to mine. “Tell me what he did to you.” It was a steady command. Andrés needed to purge this from his soul. It was the only way he’d be able to free himself from the power his brother held over him.

  “It was three years ago,” he began, the words bleeding out of him. “Cristian made a deal with some Russians. He started dealing in Bliss. I’d never dared to challenge him, but I hated it. It was too far, too much. He was selling women, just like he sold my sister. So I decided to stage a coup and take over the organization myself. I’d always been the one to keep the business running. I could do it without him. My life would be better without him.”

  He paused, his eyes sliding out of focus as he fell into memory.

  “He found out,” I surmised, quietly urging him to continue.

  His jaw tightened beneath my hands. “One of my men betrayed me. Cristian came for me before I made a move against him. He strung me up in front of all of our people—the ones he hadn’t killed for following me. He cut me. He made me scream. He humiliated me. Then he stitched me up himself to make sure the marks lasted.”

  My stomach churned, nausea rising in my throat. “Andrés…” I said his name shakily, struggling to get my tears under control. I wanted to weep for him, but that wasn’t what he needed from me. He needed me to be strong. He needed me to show him that his scars only made him more beautiful in my eyes. They were marks of his defiance, of his goodness. He bore them because he’d tried to put a stop to his brother’s evil.

  I leaned in and brushed my lips across the deep furrow in his cheek. “I love you,” I said with the weight of an oath. “We’re going to get away from your brother. Together.”

  His brows drew together, his face twisting in lines of anguish. “I have something for you,” he said instead of responding to my fervent declaration. I didn’t like that he was avoiding what I’d said, but he pulled me into his lap, cuddling me close.

  I sighed and pressed my cheek into the crook of his neck, relief washing through me at the feel of his strong arms around me.

  He shifted slightly, reaching for something on the cart beside the bed. Confusion threaded through me as he uncapped the syringe.

  “Lauren already gave me the birth control shot,” I told him.

  One corded arm wrapped around me, pinning me against his hard body as he carefully slid the needle into my upper arm.

  “It’s not birth control. I should have sent you away hours ago, but I had to see your lovely eyes one last time.”

  “What are you…?” My tongue grew heavy in my mouth, and lethargy rolled over me as my eyes drooped closed.

  “I can’t protect you,” he said, pressing a kiss against my motionless lips. “Goodbye, sirenita. Te amo.”

  I knew what it meant. I love you.

  Chapter 24

  I awoke to the sound of someone’s fist pounding on wood. Forcing open my sandpaper eyelids, I struggled to assess my surroundings. In my gut, I knew something was wrong. The bed beneath me, the too-rough sheets that covered me, the slacks I wore.

  Wrong.

  I could still smell Andrés’ unique, masculine scent. But that was because I was covered by one of his huge shirts.

  The pounding increased in volume, escalating to banging. The sound reverberated in my skull, and I winced, my aching brain working overtime to process
everything.

  “Sam!” A familiar voice bellowed. I glanced toward the locked hotel room door that separated me from my friend.

  “Dex?” I rasped, my throat too dry.

  Wood splintered, and the door burst open. My best friend rushed toward me.

  “No,” I breathed.

  Dex couldn’t be here. That meant…

  “No!” Anguish wrapped around my heart.

  Andrés had sent me back to my friends, back to safety. And he’d left himself at his brother’s mercy. Cristian would punish him for letting me go.

  “It’s okay, Sam. It’s me.” Dex stopped a few feet away from me, keeping the same careful, respectful distance he always did.

  “Are you hurt?” Jason asked. He stood even farther away, barely inside the broken doorway. Tension gripped his body, and his dark green eyes studied me intently. His lips twisted in disgust when his gaze fell on Andrés’ shirt covering me. It obviously belonged to a man; it nearly swallowed my much smaller frame. “Who did this to you?” he ground out, clearly putting two and two together. He saw my state of dress and assumed I’d been violated by my captors.

  “Where is he?” I asked thickly, struggling to control my tongue. The drugs lingered in my system, sapping my strength and dulling my mind. All I knew was I had to get back to Andrés before Cristian hurt him.

  “Who?” Dex asked, kneeling beside the bed so he could study my face. “Who were you with? We got an anonymous call saying you’d be here. Are you…” He eyed Andrés’ shirt, his pale blue gaze igniting with rage. His jaw clenched, and he took a deep breath. “Are you hurt?”

  “I’m fine.” I slurred. “I have to go.”

  “Go? Sam, you’ve been missing for almost a month. You’re not going anywhere.”

  I tried to sit up, but the world wavered around me, and I dropped back onto the pillows.

  “I have a bus on the way,” Jason said.

  I didn’t want an ambulance. I didn’t want to go to the hospital. I wanted to get back to Andrés before something terrible happened to him.

  But I couldn’t seem to move. I could barely think. I heard Dex talking, but I couldn’t quite focus on what he was saying. The room kept sliding into darkness. Every time the world disappeared, I tried to force my eyes back open.

  I was fighting a losing battle. Everything dissolved around me, until all I had left was fear for Andrés.

  ***

  When I finally came back to full awareness, I found myself in a hospital bed. Dex was standing at the threshold to the room, his massive body blocked by a short nurse who was clearly struggling to hold her ground.

  I heard her murmur the words rape kit as she tried to shoo Dex away, and my stomach dropped.

  I couldn’t let them run a rape kit. I’d had sex with Andrés a few hours ago while under the influence of Bliss, and he’d come inside me. I doubted his DNA was on file anywhere, but I couldn’t allow them to collect that kind of evidence against him.

  “I want to talk to Dex,” I said loudly, alerting them both to the fact that I was awake.

  His blue eyes blazed when they focused on me, his tanned face oddly pale. He evidently hadn’t liked the words rape kit, either. Although, he was disturbed for entirely different reasons. He thought I’d been used against my will, violated.

  “I need to talk to you,” I said, more softly. “Please.”

  My mind whirred to life. I had to figure out a way to save Andrés before Cristian realized I was missing. I’d start by questioning Dex. I needed to know what the FBI suspected about my abduction and what was being done to try to find the people who’d taken me.

  The nurse finally stepped aside and allowed Dex to enter. He approached me carefully, moving slowly so he wouldn’t spook me. He reached for me, almost touching my shoulder. Then his hand clenched to a fist, and he pulled away. He never had been willing to push past my barriers and touch me. We were buddies, and he respected my personal space issues.

  Once, I’d longed for him to look at me with desire, with love. Now, he was watching me with concern.

  And all I wanted was for him to get out of my way so I could get back to the man I loved before something terrible happened to him. I knew where Andrés’ building was located. I’d spent enough time staring down at the cross streets below his penthouse windows to know exactly how to find my way back to him.

  Andrés obviously thought I’d accept the sanctuary offered by the Bureau. He thought he could send my friends to retrieve me, and I’d quietly go back to my life with the FBI, kept safe by my fellow agents.

  He was wrong. I was going straight back to him.

  Te amo.

  He loved me. He loved me, so he’d let me go. He didn’t believe he was strong enough to fight his brother.

  But he hadn’t counted on having me by his side. He’d only seen me in my weak attempts to fight as a field agent. He’d never seen me in hacker-geek-goddess mode. If I could get back to him, I could show him how easy it would be for the two of us to take Cristian down.

  I just needed his laptop, and I’d be able to destroy Cristian financially, backing him into a corner before sending the full power of the FBI after him. I’d send all the incriminating evidence straight to Jason and Dex, and they’d handle the arrest.

  Especially if they knew Cristian was the one responsible for my abduction.

  “It was Cristian Moreno,” I said quietly, looking straight into Dex’s eyes. “He kidnapped me.”

  His jaw clenched. He knew about the Bliss and human trafficking. He’d seen me in Andrés’ shirt, and he was clearly coming to some dark conclusions.

  “Jason thought Division 9-C had you. We looked into Moreno, but there was no evidence. We didn’t think you were on his radar. We were looking in the wrong place. Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Sam. Did he… Were you hurt?”

  I cut my eyes away from his, even though I didn’t feel any particular compulsion to do so. My nervous tic seemed to have been eradicated, but I didn’t want him to see the truth in my eyes. I hadn’t been hurt. Not really.

  But it was to my advantage if Dex thought I had been. I needed him to think I was weak, shaken. Not fully mentally sharp and calculating the best way to get Andrés away from both his brother and the FBI.

  “Where’s Jason?” I asked instead of answering him.

  “He’s out looking for the people who did this to you. I’ll call him and tell him it was Moreno.”

  “What about you?” I pressed quietly. “Will you go after Cristian?”

  “No. I’m staying right here with you.”

  Crap.

  I needed him to leave. I had to get back to Andrés, especially while the FBI was distracted with tracking Cristian. I’d been running through all the potential ways to save Andrés, and one had become clear to me: I had to get him and his laptop from his penthouse and go into hiding.

  I didn’t know how to get in touch with Andrés directly. I’d never seen him with a phone, and while I knew he must have one, I didn’t know how often he kept it on him. Certainly not when he was in his penthouse. That was a mostly technology-free zone, except for his laptop. Even if I was able to find his number somehow—and I’d need access to a computer for that—it would take too long to track down.

  I wasn’t sure how long I’d been out of it, but Cristian could find out I was missing at any time and decide to hurt Andrés for letting me go.

  So the time factor ruled out trying to communicate with Andrés remotely. That meant I’d need to go to him in person. Which was an impossibility as long as Dex was hovering over me. He’d follow me. Or worse, prevent me from leaving the hospital.

  I couldn’t risk telling him about Andrés, because then the Bureau would know exactly where to find the man who’d been holding me captive. They wouldn’t treat him gently if they knew his role in my abduction, no matter what I said to defend him.

  Once I got away from Dex and back to Andrés, we’d leave Chicago. I wasn’t sure what kind of private tran
sportation Andrés had at his disposal, but I was fairly certain he’d have something we could use to leave the city. A car would do. A jet would be awesome.

  I’d never cared for his drug money, but in that moment, I hoped to hell Andrés had a private jet. If he didn’t, I’d have to get us fake passports, and that would be a snag I wasn’t quite ready to deal with. Maybe he’d have a connection somewhere that could help. What good was being in love with a master criminal if he didn’t have some useful seedy connections?

  Somehow, we’d get out of the country. I’d move all his money to an offshore account—at least, as much as we needed to survive. And then we’d ride off into the sunset together.

  Now that I was faced with the prospect of being returned to my old life, I realized I didn’t want it. I’d spent years hiding behind my computer. I was ready to live my life, and I wanted to share it with Andrés. I didn’t care where we went, as long as we were together and he was safe from Cristian.

  But I had to get past Dex first. My eyes searched the room. He’d left his keys and phone on the table in the corner, beside a chair where he must have been sitting while I slept.

  I needed those keys.

  Not the phone, because that could be tracked. I didn’t know how to call Andrés, anyway. Access to the internet from the smart phone would have been nice, but I didn’t have time to do any hacking, especially not from a phone. I could do much more significant damage to Cristian once I had access to the raw data on Andrés’ laptop.

  “Um, can you do something for me?” I asked, still not meeting Dex’s eye. He wouldn’t think anything of it; I rarely looked directly at him.

  “Anything,” he said hoarsely.

  “Can you get me some real clothes?” I wore a hospital gown, which wasn’t ideal for escape.

  “I got Chloe to bring you some,” he said, gesturing at a pile of neatly-folded clothes on the table beside my hospital bed.

  “Oh. Thanks. Could you, um, get me something else?”