World Devoted

by Emily Albert

  The song ended with the man in the middle thrashing the bell stick around while the other two pounded on the drums as hard as they could, which was still nearly inaudible.

  The band was sloppy, awkward, and grating. But for a while, the cries of hunger pains and sobs of mourning mothers were quieted by the humor and music.

  Coira was laughing hysterically beside her, covering her mouth with her hand. Lenna shot her a judgmental look, but after a moment of watching her, laughter started to bubble up in her own chest. “Stop…” she said to Coira, even as she felt herself losing control. “Stop! Stop! That was pathetic! It wasn’t funny at all!”

  Coira, still laughing, pointed to Lenna and said, “Oh, yeah, it looks like it wasn’t funny at all.”

  “I’m not laughing at that! It wasn’t funny! I’m laughing because you are! Stop right now!”

  This made Coira cackle harder until she was practically screeching.

  Before the two had even settled down, the next song had begun. This one involved something like two drunk women in a tavern, but Lenna could barely focus on the words through her bursts of giggles. Both of their faces were bright red.

  The song hadn’t been close to funny, but Lenna couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed like this. It felt good. She found herself wanting to laugh, so she let it out. She wondered if Coira found this more amusing than the song.

  “It’s really not funny,” Lenna said to Coira as they settled.

  “Okay, your Majesty.”

  “You’re right, I’m just in a good mood.” She felt self-conscious saying it, not just because Coira was the street rat she shouldn’t be confiding in, but because she didn’t expect the words to escape her mouth.

  “I know,” was all Coira said.

  Lenna smiled and buried her mouth in her hands. She saw Coira smiling out of the corner of her eye.

  Several more songs passed before Lenna asked Coira, “Do you think if we go down there the people will like me better? Like I’m a part of their community?”

  “Dangerous.”

  “I have a guard.”

  “Still dangerous.”

  “I think we should do it. I have a guard.”

  Coira looked unsure. Just as Lenna was about to get up, she heard from far across town, “My queen, if you’re really out there, come to me! I know you’re here with us today! People have seen you! I know you’re out there! Come here, and I will give you the power to help us!” There was a long pause. “People don’t think you can do it, but I do! I believe!”

  Everyone in the area froze. After a moment, a baby screamed. It was a sharp wail that didn’t last long, and then there was dead silence. Lenna drew a sharp breath and Coira ducked her head. “Don’t move. They’ll blame you for it if they see you.”

  “Don’t they already?”

  “Yes. That’s why you don’t wanna down there.”

  “I didn’t have the power to do anything until now. How are they dense enough to know I’m not going to respond and keep killing people anyway?”

  “Until now, your Majesty. Havin’ the power to do somethin’ isn’t enough. You have to actually do it.”

  She was right. She had to act now that she could. “Don’t they believe I will? Can’t they stop the sacrifices?”

  “Don’t you get it?” Coira glared at her. “They’re desperate. So desperate that even now that you’ve got your crown, you’ve gotta show us you’re gonna do somethin’ before we stop the pressure. Even people who’ve always had faith in you and understand the situation pray all day and kill their children come nighttime, I swear it. They’ve gotta believe any little thing will help, even if they don’t really believe.”

  Lenna took a shaky breath.

  “This is our normal. If it’s affectin’ you, you should respond. Maybe then they’ll stop killin’ their own.” Coira crossed her arms and looked out at the people who had already gotten over the shock of a baby’s dying scream and had gone back to watching the silly show.

  Lenna nodded. “I’ll do something. I will…”

  Coira nudged her. “Let me walk you back to the castle. It’ll be dark by the time you get back.”

  Lenna realized they had woken in the afternoon and spent most of the day watching performers. Marco would be worried. “I’m fine, I have my guard. What could you do, anyway?”

  “Your guard didn’t sleep at all last night ‘cause he was watchin’ over us. Let me walk you back, you’ll at least have someone else with you.” Lenna was about to argue before Coira said, “And at the very least you’ll be seen with a townsperson—a street rat—and that might look good.”

  Lenna sighed, trying to release someone her stress. “Fine. Let’s go.”

  Lenna, Coira, and the guard walked through the city to get home, but first through a very rural area. Lenna felt on edge, and Coira looked comfortably protective. They passed several farms, and many farmers wore scowls so intense that it made Lenna’s skin crawl.

  “The farmers hate you most,” Coira whispered. “Not sure why; I think it has somethin’ to do with their crops. Not enough money for fertilizer and all that. I think they’re mostly bad farmers, that’s what I think.”

  Lenna crept closer to her guard and didn’t face the farmers.

  “Hey!” Coira yelled, long before Lenna realized what was going on. There were four farmers inching closer to them and throwing stones in her direction. “Get away from our queen! Go! Get away!”

  The men picked up their pace, getting dangerously close. Both the guard and Coira stood in front of the men, the guard with his sword ready and Coira with her fists. The men kept coming with no hesitation. They spread out so two of them were near the guard while the other two flanked Lenna. They all laughed maniacally, even in the face of the guard’s sword. The guard spun around and tried to defend all sides, but it wasn’t possible. Whoever wasn’t in front of the sword came closer to Lenna.

  Her heart raced and she felt herself sweating through her clothes. She was too stunned to say anything.

  What, there’s going to be a weak queen, then? You’ll fight when it endangers you, but not to defend yourself? Fight! They’re nothing! They’re yours! You puny thing, fight!

  Lenna’s mouth felt pasted shut as she stood in the middle of the men, unable to move. They saw this and laughed even harder.

  “Get away! Get away!” the guard said. “You will face lethal consequences if you step any closer!”

  “I’ll hang you by your toes ‘til they rip from your body, how’s that? I’ll hang you by your fingers next!” Coira matched their energy but looked just as overwhelmed as Lenna felt.

  The men kept moving in, and the guard swung his sword at one of them but missed. It was a lazy swing, and Lenna could tell Coira had been right about the guard having had no sleep. He swung again, and still missed.

  Coira ran up to a different man and swung at him, but he easily kicked her knees and pushed her to the ground. She stood, but as she did the man stomped on her back and kept her down.

  The guard was still swinging at the same man. He got close enough to slice his chest right as Lenna felt something heavy and blunt hit the back of her head. She gasped and heard more laughter.

  Fight, you fool! You’re weak, are you? Can’t even fight? The world is yours to conquer, but you’re going to stand here and take this? Your ancestors would be ashamed.

  She tried to turn around and punch, but her vision was blurry and she was dizzy, so the man stepped out of the way. She felt a kick to the back of her legs and fell down onto her hands and knees. He kept kicking, over and over. “This”—kick—“is for”—kick—“my daughter”—kick—“and Walton’s son”—kick—“and all the Wiley kids.” The last kick was the hardest of them all, and it knocked the breath out of her. She barely heard him say, “Not so god-like now, are you?”

  The guard came to her and cut the throat of one of the men behind her; she wasn’t sure which one. She looked up to see Coira pushing herself to st
and and the guard breathing heavily. Two farmers lay on the ground dead, and the other two were running away.

  “I’ll hang you by your toes, I will! Rip you apart until flies and maggots make homes in your rotting meat!”

  Weak! Do you want to be a weak queen? You’re going to let peasants attack you? And you’re going to sit and cry as they run away? You made this mess with your neglect, and you have to face it. Someone like you can’t rule the world. Maybe I was mistaken. I should never have chosen you.

  This shoved the breath out of her harder than the kick had. She didn’t have the clarity to think about what it meant by choosing her.

  There was a lump in her throat and tears fell uncontrollably. She reached up to feel the bump that was surely forming on the back of her head.

  “Ow…” Was all she could muster.

  Get up! Get yourself up!

  The guard offered her his hand, but Coira pulled her up first by the armpits. She was practically carried back to the castle by her guard and Coira. She didn’t want to be seen that way, but she didn’t have a choice, as when she walked there was shooting pain all over her body.

  When they got to the castle, Coira had to stop outside of the gate. She stood there, waiting for Lenna to get inside safely. Lenna didn’t have the energy to turn around and say goodbye and thank her. Instead, she was dragged in by her huge guard.

  “Thank you,” she croaked. “Will you take me to my husband?”

  “Of course, your Majesty.”

  They arrived at their bedroom door, and Lenna dismissed the guard. She knocked on the door, and Marco opened it almost instantly.

  “Where have you been?” he shouted, then saw the dirt, bruises, and her defeated look. “What happened? Oh, my Lenna, are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m fine.” She pushed past him and sat on the edge of the bed. Marco sat next to her.

  “No, you’re not. What happened?”

  “I was in town and—”

  “Town? Why were you out in the town?”

  “I know it’s not safe. I know they don’t like me. That’s why I had a guard. But people despise me more than I could have imagined. You know about the sacrifices, right?”

  He nodded grimly. “They blame you for it?”

  “Yes, they do. They’re desperate is all, and they want to communicate with me.”

  “We’re working on it. We’ll fix it. I’m here now, and I will fix it.”

  “We will fix it. I am their queen. I have been with them since I was born. They need me. And we can do more, Marco. It’s great that we have the money left over from the wedding, but we can do more. Didn’t it feel good to give them that money?”

  Marco looked down at his hands and took Lenna’s.

  “What?”

  Lenna scrunched up her face.

  “I have to tell you something.”

  “Yes?”

  “I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed in me. I’m afraid…”

  “What? I won’t be upset. What is it?”

  “My people in Elawar are having some problems. Financial problems. There wasn’t enough money to cover the repairs from a bad storm, so I had to send some of the money to them. I hoped you would understand, as you would do the same for Haeden. I had to help them.”

  Lenna gaped at him and pulled her hands away. “Why would you think I would understand that? Your country is known for its wealth. Your people are perfectly comfortable. They have everything they need. Meanwhile, have you ever been to Haeden’s capitol? Our towns? Have you seen the havoc?”

  Marco sighed. “I have. And Lenna, I understand that your country needs help, but so does mine, so I diverted some of it. It will only be once. I know you understand how important it is to take care of your people when they are in need.”

  “I do, which is why I was trying to take care of my country. And how much is ‘some’?”

  Marco wouldn’t meet her eyes.

  “So all of it? You took all the money that was supposed to go to my country?”

  “Lenna…”

  “You told me,” Lenna snarled, “that the money would go to Haeden’s people. That was supposed to not only help them, but also make them accept me. I need the towns to be fixed so that I’m respected, so I can be a better queen. You didn’t listen to me when I said that my people have been suffering for years. Where did that money really go? What did you buy, another dozen ships to add to your collection? New decor for the castle? Gems? What did you buy?”

  “I swear, it was for my people.” Marco said with effort. “The buildings were demolished, the towns destroyed. I had hoped that if was honest with you, you would believe me and accept what I had to do. I think that’s important in a relationship. This is such a small thing, Lenna. We will build your people up.”

  “Hah! Accept that you stole money from my country to give to your own?”

  “We are married now, so we should be able to share finances, no?”

  “No. You promised that was for Haeden, and you lied.”

  Lenna stood quickly and almost fell down from dizziness. Marco tried to catch her, and she screamed, “Don’t touch me! You lied!”

  “Lenna—”

  “Don’t.” Lenna rubbed her temples. “In fact, get out. I don’t want you here.”

  Marco walked out quietly, and Lenna said before he opened the door. “You know, I was just thinking earlier about how I was in such a good mood. Really, I felt great. But now I am furious.”

  He opened the door as Lenna threw a crystal candle holder toward him. It hit the door and shattered loudly. He slinked out without another word.

  I warned you. I warned you about him. You should have listened. You never listen!

  Her guardian was screaming, and it filled her whole body.

  “He’s the reason I’m Queen,” Lenna whispered. She cried softly. “I need him.”

  No, you needed him. You needed him temporarily like I said you would! He has served his purpose. Now he is useless. Worse than useless. He is a danger. You should have listened when I told you that! You never listen.

  Lenna covered her ears. “I love him.”

  No, you can’t. You were lonely, but you don’t need anyone, don’t you see? People only bring pain. The thought of loving him is just weakness. Don’t you see the trouble in him? In his face, in his words? You never should have followed him to the mountain, never should have touched him. You don’t deserve love!

  She started to sob, and she barely heard herself over the screaming.

  I am all you need. Remember? I am your partner.

  She fell to the floor and knelt. Her whole body was filled with aches and sharp pains. The echoes of screams would not dissipate, and she clutched her head in anguish. Everything she had believed about Marco disappeared. Everything she believed about their relationship. Maybe it wasn’t love, maybe it was only necessity. Her guardian was right. He ruined her.

  She punched the floor with all the force she could muster, and her whole body quaked. She screamed out in pain and frustration.

  “Leave me alone! I understand now! I get it! Leave me alone!”

  No, you don’t understand. You still hesitate. One day you will see that hesitation is weakness, weakness is vulnerability, and vulnerability is pain. You must listen to me!

  “I will! I will listen! I promise!”

  Adrenaline made her push through the pain and punch herself this time, hitting her thighs over and over. The pain was unbearable; she cried out but couldn’t stop. Messy sobs continued to escape her.

  “Please…”

  You deserve to live in pain. I told you to run, and you were too stubborn. It wasn’t him who ruined you. You ruined yourself. Feel the pain as it comes. Feel it and know that it was because of your own mistakes.

  “It was your idea to get married! I didn’t want to! You made me do it! This is all your fault!”

  You didn’t want to marry him, but you needed to. You wanted to love him, to trust him, and that will be your d
ownfall. You could have stopped him.

  The voice was hard, dark, and terrifying. She promised herself, her guardian, her people, that she would do better.

  Forty-One

  Lenna and Marco sat at opposite heads of the conference table. Marco tapped his fingers on the table as Lenna tried to keep from turning red, heart pounding. Marco opened his mouth to say something right when the advisors began to trickle in. He stayed quiet then, tapping and tapping each finger methodically.

  “Finally,” Lenna said, more to herself than to the advisors.

  All the advisors took their seats, and something was different: there were new faces. New people she had never seen took the seats of some of her best advisors. Lenna looked at Marco for the first time that day. “Who are they?” she said, trying to keep her voice steady. She turned to them. “Why are you here?”

  The new members sat quietly, looking at Marco. They all had his golden skin, black hair, and bold features. They belonged to him.

  “They come from Elawar. They are mine; I thought I should have people who know my country and my people so they can help. Matel and Arlo will be joining Parliament, and the rest will be counselors.”

  Lenna’s nostrils flared. “In my country? The country you left your homeland for? The one you promised to protect?”

  “They’ll help Haeden too, but they’ll always put Elawar first.”

  “That’s your brother’s job,” she hissed. “You know, Elawar’s king.”

  Marco flinched and restarted his tapping.

  Lenna said, “It’s not your country anymore. Haeden is.”

  “It’s my home, whether you like it or not. I want to help it in any way I can, and I thought being around people connected to my country could help me stay in touch.”

  “Get them out.”

  Marco said nothing, just looked vacantly at her and moved his fingers.

  “You’ve already spent the money—my money, as my country paid for the wedding—doing who-knows-what for yourself. That was betrayal enough, and still you want more?”

  “It’s only what’s fair. We are married now, so we share our resources, no?”