Forbidden Kisses

by Laurel O'Donnell

  Still, she needed the rose as payment now, too. She was his competitor. Could they use one rose as payment for both of their debts? She was locked into the search as much as he.

  When he had begun looking all those years ago, he had been certain he would find it. He was young and wasn’t concerned with consequences. There was only one consequence he cared about. And that was his father.

  He glanced at Ella. She was looking beneath the thick brush at the base of a tree. At first, he had befriended Miles because he knew Ella’s garden was his best bet. She knew about roses and how they grew. But then he and Miles had become friends. It had been unexpected but welcomed.

  Ella had not been what he expected. At first, she hated him, which he was prepared for. Now, something was different. Something had changed between them. She was actually helping him find the rose! Why? It must be for herself. She must need the rose for payment to the witch, as he did. She wasn’t helping him.

  He glanced at the sky. The sun was moving lower over the horizon. They only had hours before their light was gone. They could search for a while more before they had to find cover for the night.

  “Ella,” he called.

  She paused and looked at him. She was bent over near the base of the tree. Waves of her hair hung down to the ground; her face was smooth and perfect.

  He shook himself. “We don’t have long before nightfall. We should search for an inn for shelter.”

  Ella shook her head. “The closest inn is half a day ride. We will camp here and start the search immediately come sun up.”

  Shocked, Graden stared. If he was alone, there would be no question that was what he would do, but he would never have her sleep on the cold ground. Miles would skin him. “I think we should head back to the castle.”

  Ella straightened. “That would be a waste of time.” She glanced at the sky. “There are no clouds, no possibility of rain. The river is close, we can clean up there.” She moved some fallen branches aside, continuing her search. “No. We’ll stay.”

  She was more determined than he. “As you wish,” he mumbled and continued his hunt, looking for anything blue. But in nature, blue was a color that was not natural. He had found some flowers that had blue petals, but never a rose.

  When the sun had all but set, leaving long shadows and a pink sky, they returned to the horses. They found a sheltered area in the thicket and made a camp. Graden gave Ella his blanket and shared his ale and bread with her.

  Ella ate as Graden saw to their horses, removing the saddles so they could rest easy.

  When he returned to her, she was watching him. The moon had risen enough for him to be able to see her in a pale glow. She sat on a blanket in a small clearing not far from the horses looking lovely and innocent and so…

  “Did you look for the rose in France?” she wondered.

  Graden nodded. “I searched everywhere I went.” He stopped before her, just off of the blanket.

  “Is it true you saved Miles’s life in France?” she asked.

  He bowed his head. He didn’t think what he had done was save his friend’s life, but Miles repeatedly told him he had done so.

  “What happened?”

  “It was during the fight with the French just outside of Agincourt. Miles was locked in combat with a French knight and didn’t see the other coming up. I did.” Graden sat in the grass across from her. “He would have done the same.”

  Ella took a bite of the bread. “Maybe.”

  Graden grinned and removed part of the loaf of bread from the sack. “Maybe,” he agreed. “After that, things were different between us.”

  “It was a very noble thing of you to do.”

  “In war, you react. There is no noble act. Let me ask you something. Why are you helping me look for the blue rose?”

  “The woman in the woods wants it.”

  “Woman in the woods?” Graden echoed.

  “The witch.”

  Tremors of unease snaked their way down his spine. Her payment. He reached across the blanket to grasp her hand. “Don’t do it, Ella. No matter what she offered you. Don’t make a deal with her.”

  Ella clutched his hand. She opened her mouth and then closed it.

  “Nothing good can come of it.”

  “She said she could help me if I bring her the rose.”

  Trepidation tightened his chest. Lord, no! Not Ella! Graden squeezed her hand, nodding. “She plays off your morals. Off what you want. I want to have a family, a life. I want to be free. But this hangs over me like chains. It has consumed me because I can’t find the rose.”

  Ella hesitated, her gaze sweeping over his face. “You agreed to that to save your father.”

  He didn’t want to, but he released her hand. “Yes. I would have done anything to save my father.”

  She leaned forward and cupped his cheek. He looked up at her, startled at the kindness, at the warmth of her hand against his skin.

  “How long ago did he pass?”

  “Thirteen years ago.” He couldn’t look away from her eyes; they were a deep blue in the darkness. He had gotten used to being alone, to depending only on himself. He very rarely had companionship. People showed him respect, but not love.

  Ella sat back on her heels.

  Graden missed her touch immediately.

  “When your father died, did you feel betrayed by the woman, er witch?”

  “No,” Graden said, confused. “She had given me those two years with him. I was grateful.”

  Ella nodded. “You were lucky to have that time. I wish I had extra time with Edwin. Just a day.”

  “I wish I could give you what you want. I wish I could go back to that night.”

  “Do you think if I bring the blue rose to the woman –”

  “Did someone say blue rose?”

  Graden shot to his feet and stepped protectively in front of Ella as a small child emerged from the cover of the forest. The boy was slender and could not have been more than eight summers. His clothing was tattered. He swiped a lock of dark hair from his forehead. “Are you looking for a blue rose?”

  Ella climbed to her feet. “We are.”

  “No,” Graden said at the same time.

  The boy’s gaze moved between them. “I only ask because I have one!”

  Chapter Six

  Ella glanced at Graden in shock. The boy had the blue rose! “Yes,” she said, stepping toward the child. “Where is it?”

  The boy shucked his head. “It is very rare. I don’t carry it with me. Someone might take it. I hid it.”

  Graden touched Ella’s arm in warning, but she ignored him asking, “Will you show us?”

  The boy narrowed his eyes at them. “How do I know you won’t rob me?”

  Ella drew herself up. “I am a noble woman. He is a knight.”

  “And…”

  She was insulted that she had to explain herself. “We have a code we live by.”

  “Beggin’ yer pardon, milady, but there’s been plenty of knights that have taken what they want.”

  “Aye,” she agreed. “But we’re not like them.”

  The boy quirked the side of his mouth in disbelief and ran a hand through his hair. “Perhaps if ye gave me some coin I’d be more likely ta trust ya.”

  Ella glanced at Graden. She had no coin, she had all but fled the castle to search with him.

  Graden shook his head in disagreement.

  Ella silently implored him, grasping his arm. “It might be our only chance.”

  Graden sighed and dug into a small sack tied to his belt. “And what’s to say you won’t run away after I give you the coin?” he asked of the boy.

  “I can make more coin if I sell you the blue rose.” The boy held out his hand, palm up.

  Ella grinned. She liked the child. His reasoning was sound and logical.

  “If you have the blue rose.” Graden put the coin into the boy’s hand.

  “Oh, I have it!” He looked down at the coin with satisfaction be
fore curling his fingers around it. “This way.” He turned back through the thicket.

  Graden captured Ella’s wrist, halting her. “I’ve come across many people who said they have the blue rose,” he whispered. “None have.”

  “We have to check. He might be the one who does.” Ella hurried after the boy. She lifted her feet high over the brush as they crunched through it. “Where did you find the rose?”

  The boy shrugged. “I was walking through the thicket and happened to look down. There it was.” He turned and walked backward while talking to Ella. “Lots of people are looking for it. But I didn’t trust them as much as I do you.”

  Ella cast Graden an encouraged glance as he trailed behind them. Others were searching for the rose? “Why are others searching for it? What do they want with it?”

  The boy shrugged. “Can’t say. But I hear tell that it heals wounds and achy legs. It is also supposed ta turn enemies into lovers.”

  Ella watched where she put her feet. She didn’t want to trip. “Wondrous and magical,” she whispered. The words her mother had used to describe the flower.

  “Lots of old people want it for potions and the like.”

  Darkness had claimed the lands making it difficult to see the child as he moved in the shadows.

  “It only blooms once a lifetime,” the boy went on. “So, it’s really rare. Really rare. And worth a lot of coin.”

  “What are you doing out at night?” Graden asked. “It can be dangerous.”

  “I stay in the shadows,” the boy answered. “And away from the groups of drunk men.”

  “Where is your father and mother?”

  “I don’t have a father. And me mother died a long time ago.” The boy pointed ahead. “It’s just up here.”

  “You hid it in the thicket?” Graden asked in disbelief.

  “Yep. Safer than keeping it with me.” He looked up at the opening in the trees above him and then moved forward, as if following a map. Finally, he ducked behind a growth of bushes beneath a tree.

  Graden grabbed Ella’s arm, halting her. “It could be a trap.”

  The boy disappeared into the thick shrubbery.

  Anxiety churned within Ella. The boy had the blue rose and now he was gone. He had their coin. She glanced at Graden to find him staring at the spot in the bushes the boy had gone into. She wanted to rush after the boy, to find him, to make him show them the rose. Why was she so desperate to get it? Why? Because she didn’t want to feel so sad. She wanted to laugh. She wanted to feel life again. She wanted to be forgiven.

  Just as her hope began to fade, the boy emerged, dusting off his hair. In the other hand he held something.

  Ella’s heart beat in anticipation, in excitement.

  “I wasn’t really searching for it,” the boy was saying. “Red roses are common. Ya almost can’t turn around without seeing one.” He lifted his hand. Pinched between his thumb and forefinger, he displayed the blue rose to them. “You’ll never guess where I found it.”

  Ella didn’t care. She stared at it, her fingers curling in anticipation of touching it. She almost sobbed at the sight of the blue petals.

  “It’s rare. Hard to find. Others couldn’t find it. But I did!” He twirled it around in his fingers.

  “Can I see it?” Ella asked.

  The boy looked down at the rose. He pulled it against his chest protectively. Then with a small sigh, he held it out to her. “I suppose.”

  Ella reached for it, but just before she touched the treasure, the boy yanked it out of her reach.

  “Ya won’t run away with it, will ya?”

  “No,” Ella promised. “Of course not.”

  The boy tugged it closer to his chest. “Because some would.”

  “We’ve already given you coin, boy. What else do you want?” Graden demanded.

  The boy looked up at Graden and then at Ella. “Maybe, after I give you the rose, I could have a good meal. One that fills me stomach.”

  Sympathy tugged at Ella. “Of course. Every night for a full week.”

  “Gaw!” The boy erupted. He held the rose out to Ella again.

  Ella reached for the rose reverently. It was beautiful! Even in the muted light of the moon, she saw the petals were deep blue. She carefully wrapped her fingers around the stem. She couldn’t believe it. Finally. After all the attempts at growing it. The blue rose her mother had told her about. It really existed!

  Graden stared in shock.

  “Thank you,” Ella whispered, staring at the flower. It was lovely. Simply beautiful. It was all she could have imagined. Everything her mother told her about. Their search was finally over. She could be happy if she gave this flower to the woman in the woods.

  Graden reached for the rose.

  A feeling of relief and absolution crested over her. Tears rushed to her eyes. “Thank you,” she repeated.

  The boy grinned.

  Graden carefully removed the flower from her trembling hands.

  As Graden inspected the delicate petals, Ella could only stare. She had never seen a blue rose before. Her mother believed in the blue rose, the power. She had told Ella stories about the rose. Magical and wondrous.

  “Ella,” Graden called.

  She couldn’t take her gaze from the rose in his hands. She had it! She wouldn’t be sad any longer.

  “Ella.”

  Ella looked at him.

  He showed her his thumb. A smudge of blue stained his skin.

  For a long moment, Ella stared, unable to fathom what the stain was. Her gaze shifted to the rose and she saw one of its petals had a red mark on it. She took a step closer to Graden, unable to tear her confused gaze from the rose. The smudge on his finger matched the color of the rose. Blue. She looked closely at the rose. It looked like the rose’s color had been scrubbed away. Shock raced through her and a feeling of falling swept over her.

  It was a red rose! A red rose died blue!

  Chapter Seven

  Graden whirled on the boy, fury burning through his veins. He tossed the flower aside. “What trick is this?”

  The boy’s eyes grew wide in fear. He held up his hands. “Please, m’lord! It was me father’s idea. He knew you were searching fer it. He made me do it! He…” The boy spun and fled through the thicket.

  Graden took a step to go after him but stopped. He was used to this kind of deceit, but Ella was not. He turned to her.

  She was staring at the rose cushioned in the weeds on the ground. “It’s fake,” she whispered brokenly.

  “I’m sorry,” Graden said softly.

  She slowly walked over to the flower and stared down at it.

  “Come, Ella,” Graden called, holding out his hand to her. “We should return to the horses.”

  Ella bent and picked the rose up. She looked at it with such a crestfallen look, such a hopeless look, that Graden’s heart twisted. He was used to the disappointment, the chronic failure. He was used to having his hopes crushed. But to see that despair in Ella made him want to protect her from such devastation. “We’ll find it, Ella.”

  “How can this be?” she asked, staring at the smudge of red on the blue rose. “How can someone do this?”

  “For coin. For a meal.” Graden shrugged. He reached for the rose but stopped. The rising moon glistened on Ella’s wet cheeks. “Ella.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t… I can’t do this.”

  “You don’t have to. I’ll escort you back to the castle and search the farmhouse myself. You are not tied to the rose, yet. You can still be free.”

  “Free?” she asked, her voice catching. She looked at him with tears glistening in her large eyes. “I’ll never be free. I thought this would buy… I thought this would give me hope. And yet, all I feel is more sadness. More misery.”

  Graden stood, stunned for a moment. Did he do this to her? Cause her this misery? “Is it me?”

  “I don’t know anymore. I just know that I miss Edwin. And his death took happiness from me. A hap
piness I don’t know if I’ll ever find again.”

  “I’ll take you back.” Graden eased the rose from her hand.

  She winced and looked down at her hand. One of the thorns had cut her finger. A drop of red blood, as red as a rose, formed on her index finger. She looked up at him with innocence and desperation.

  Graden felt desire for her swirl inside him. He felt a need to take her in his arms and kiss away her sadness. He framed her face in his hands, brushing away her tears with his thumbs. Her sadness overwhelmed him. His gaze dropped to her full lips. He would do anything to stop her pain. Anything.

  She nodded and looked down at the blood on her finger.

  Graden dropped his hands, although every instinct was to protect her and cherish her. She would never want the man who had killed her brother. And he could never ask her to be a part of his unending search for the blue rose. Unable to resist, he took her hand into his and led her back to the horses.

  As they rode slowly back into town, the weight of disappointment and despair settled on Ella’s shoulders. They drooped in response. Her head hung, and she watched the steps of her mare on the dirt road.

  “Are you alright?” Graden asked, positioning his horse beside hers.

  She lifted her gaze to him. He sat tall in the saddle, his hair hanging to his shoulders. “You knew. You knew it would not be the real rose.”

  Graden inhaled deeply. “I’ve been chasing it for a long time.”

  “This was not the first time you’ve discovered a fake rose.” She peered closer at him, her heart twisting with remorse. “How do you do it? How do you keep going?”

  “I have no choice.”

  She reined her horse to a stop. Moonlight washed over his head and shoulders casting him in a surreal glow.

  “The first time I found a fake rose, it was difficult, just as it is for you.” He looked down the road. “After so many times…” He shook his head. “I won’t believe it is the real blue rose until I see it with my own eyes. I won’t allow myself to hope.”