by Renea Mason
“What are you hiding? You’re not telling me everything.” I leaned into his field of vision, demanding to be heard.
He wrapped me in his arms. “He had no right to do this to you. To take your choices away. This is why we left the council in the first place. This life should have been your choice. He promised he’d care for you. I didn’t want to bring you into my world. It’s dangerous. I’m a few steps ahead of the council for now, but that may not always be so. When they find out…” He held me to him in a vice-like grip as though I would run away.
“Baron, what are you saying? What choices? I don’t understand.”
He nuzzled his cheek against my hair. “I’ll do whatever I can to atone for what I’ve done. I’m no better than Allister. But I couldn’t let you die. I should have checked on you, but he—”
“You saved me, didn’t you? If you hadn’t come for me, I would have died in that alley.”
Releasing me, he grasped my hands and stared into my eyes. “No, love, I’ve damned you. You will never know peace. You’ll be held accountable for my mistakes. He used you for selfish reasons, and I made things worse. We’re both the monsters we pledged we’d never be.”
“I still don’t understand.” There was so much guilt and anguish emanating from him, it was hard to feel my own emotions. “Baron, I need you to calm down. Please, explain this to me."
“A blood bond with a mate can bind our life forces to one another. Completing the ritual increases our chances of survival. When both life forces have to be extinguished in order for both to die, death is more avoidable. Vampire mates are rare. Once the mating process is complete, the vampire and his mate are forever linked, but it takes more than one encounter. Allister knew the council was after him. Mating with you would have allowed him to survive, even if they captured and tried to kill him. But he was too weak; he started the blood exchange but couldn’t finish the process before they came for him. When I saved him, he was supposed to return to you and complete the ritual. I gave you my blood to help sustain you until he returned.”
“See, you saved me.”
He shook his head. “No. I didn’t. A blood exchange is considered a means of subjugation if there is no chance of mating. It’s used to create human minions, the side effect is temporarily extended life, but if you’re not turned, you will die. Allister was supposed to come back to claim you and turn you. I stayed away because it wasn’t fair for you to have to feel me like you are now. You didn’t ask for the blood exchange, so I wanted to make sure you didn’t suffer because of it.”
I closed my eyes. “The blood exchange…that’s why I feel so insanely comfortable with you.”
He nodded. “Yes, and you would more than likely do my bidding, no matter the request, should I truly demand it of you. I never wanted that for you. Allister should have never been so selfish. If there had been another way, Lillie, I assure you, I would have. But I couldn’t let you die.”
It was strange to feel his anguish. I wanted to comfort him, but I didn’t know if that was truly what I wanted or if it was his desire. “Where is Allister now?”
“I don’t know. I need to find out. He was supposed to return to you at your hotel, complete the mating bond, and turn you. He was supposed to explain everything and teach you about this life.”
I wondered if he could feel my emotions too. If I tried to suppress them, would it work? The questions came faster than answers, but the biggest one bouncing in my head flew out of my mouth, “So what exactly was supposed to happen? I mean, you and Allister both seem to have had a hand in fucking up the original plan. I’m curious, did what I want ever figure into any of this? Because so far, I seem to be the last consideration in my own fate.”
“You should be angry.” He eased away from me, giving me space.
“Good. We at least agree on that.”
His fingers massaged his forehead. “The original plan was all about allowing you to choose. Why do you think I’m so angry with Allister? With myself?”
I wanted to stay mad. I wanted to hate him, but all I could feel was his regret and remorse. “So now what do I do?”
He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. “If you don’t complete the mating bond and turning soon, it will destroy you. Part of your life force saved Allister that night. But it is temporary. It will cut your time short. When he initiated the bonding, he started a timer of sorts. You asked if you are a vampire. The answer is not yet, but your vampire side will devour your essence like a disease unless you are turned fully. You are a forsaken in your current state. An unmated mate. You have none of our powers. You are still mortal. Forsaken are considered rejections and are terminated. The council will kill you if the vampire in you doesn’t do it first.”
“So that’s it. I have to find this Allister and have him finish what he started?”
“That is the best option, yes.”
He worked hard to hide his uneasiness with his definitive answer from me, but I knew there was more to the story. Fatigue from information overload had frazzled my nerves.
Baron took a step back and clasped his hands in front of him. “Let me go retrieve Colin. It’s best to begin your lessons right away and that he understands how best to help. It will give you a little time to…relax. I shall return shortly.” He strode with haste through the main doors.
5
Desire
The tomes lining the walls of Baron’s study were older than any books I had ever seen. I suppressed the urge to run my fingers over the pages, not wanting to damage the delicate paper. Every topic, in every language, many I didn’t even recognize, seemed at home in the vampire’s collection. The opening door interrupted my perusal. For the first time, I took a moment to analyze him. Baron’s long strides, expensive suits and accessories, and close-cropped hair all served as brush strokes in his portrait of power. In contrast, Colin’s familiar face felt like home.
Colin eyed me with concern.
I shot him a wide smile to let him know everything was OK.
“Colin, can I get you a drink?” Baron sauntered to the small bar and busied himself with a variety of bottles.
“Yeah, sure.” Colin made his way to the sofa, grasping and squeezing my hand.
Baron looked back at me over his shoulder. “Lillie, love, I’d offer you something, but I don’t want to ruin your appetite. We’ll save that lesson for another night, there are more important matters to tend to tonight.”
Colin raised an eyebrow at Baron’s cryptic statement.
I smiled to help put him at ease. “Everything is fine. We found our vampire teeth.” I nodded toward Baron.
Colin’s eyes went wide, then returned to concern.
Baron returned with two drinks in hand. He handed the first one to Colin but paused before releasing it. His gaze fixated on our entwined hands. He forced a smile. “Here you go, Colin. A Death in the Afternoon.”
Colin swallowed nervously before saying, “Thank you.”
Baron took a seat in the high-backed chair facing us. With elegant grace, he crossed one leg over the other before raising his glass into the air. “To Lillie.”
“To Lillie,” Colin repeated.
“Colin, Lillie told me that you provide her sustenance via blood donations. You are the reason she lives. For that, I am in your debt. Your dedication to Lillie has saved more than just Lillie. Typically a fledgling in the throes of turning can be devastating—the bloodlust insatiable. I need to train Lillie to feed without killing. The arrangement you both have now will work as long as medical supplies are prevalent, but circumstances can change, or an emergency may occur that doesn’t allow for such carefully managed preparation. If that happens, she will kill. She’ll have no control. It’s important she masters that control. Would you be willing to help her practice?”
“What? No. I can’t.” My eyes implored Baron.
He set his drink on the small end table and rose to stand in front of me. Grabbing the hand not holding Colin’s, Baron dropped to
his knees in front of me.
“Why ever not, love? If he agrees...”
“No.” I shook my head.
Baron studied me, stroking his thumb over the back of my hand. “I could compel him to agree if you’re worried he may decline, but it goes against everything I believe. Free will is the greatest of gifts. Something those of us with the ability to deny it, fail to appreciate.” Baron’s gaze was mesmerizing.
I wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t compelling me to feel things, but his calm demeanor put me more at ease.
“Besides, I see the way he looks at you. I think he might enjoy it. Wouldn’t you, Colin?” Baron’s hand moved to my leg.
“I want to do whatever is easiest for you, Lillie.” The Colin I knew and loved gazed back at me.
Baron slid his hand along the slit of my dress until it rested on the inside of my thigh. “Lillie, it’s a common misconception that vampirism is death magic. It’s not. It’s transcendence and awakening. There is more life in my existence than in yours. I command life. I can take it, ingest it, sustain it, and remake it. Vampirism is an exchange of life. There is no greater intimacy. No greater power. And where does life begin? Not with conception, but rather the coming together. With sex.”
I swallowed hard as Baron’s fingers played at the edge of my panties. I should’ve been appalled, but instead, the prospect of his touch excited me.
Colin grabbed Baron’s hand. “Don’t touch her.”
Baron acquiesced to Colin’s demand and rested his hand on the settee. “There he is. The protector. Look at me, Colin.”
I pushed on Baron’s shoulder. “Don’t command him. Please…”
Baron’s soft gaze fixed on my face. “I promise, Lillie. I won’t make him do anything. You need to understand that you are never going to lose him. He is yours. It kills me to see how much pain hurting him causes you. There is another way.” He shifted to face Colin. “My touch is no threat to you, Colin. She shares my blood. She will desire me. But the bond you two share cannot be broken. So please understand, I do not wish to take her from you, I only want to help you.” Baron’s hand hovered above my thigh. “May I?” He waited for Colin’s approval.
Colin’s gaze darted to me, searching for guidance.
I wanted Baron’s touch. I ached with anticipation. “It’s OK, Colin.”
He blinked twice and then nodded.
Baron’s fingers wasted no time pulling back the edge of my panties. “Tell me, Lillie, do you orgasm when you drink his blood? Does it make you come? Oh, you’re wet just thinking about it.”
It was something Colin and I never talked about, but both knew, but that didn’t make Baron’s questions any less awkward.
One of Baron’s fingers smoothed over my folds. “But the pleasure isn’t just yours, is it Lillie. Giving you his blood excites him.” He turned to focus on Colin. “You can’t get away from the image in your mind, can you? Your cum inside her. Your blood in her veins. Completing her, giving her every ounce of life you can spare. Tell her. Tell her you’d love to feel her lips on your skin as she drinks from you. Your body fused with hers.”
The temperature in the room rose twenty degrees with Baron’s words. The sexual tension between Colin and I was unmistakable, but I always kept my distance, his friendship more important than sex. “We don’t have that kind of relationship, Baron.”
“Why not? He’s your human familiar. Your companion. You already rely on him to sustain you. You take him into your body. It’s his blood your heart pumps.” The tip of his finger threatened to enter me. “It’s his blood here, causing you to swell, reacting to your excitement. His blood that flushes your face. And it’s his blood that’s hardening his cock right now. The bond between vampire mate and familiar is sacred.”
I tried to suppress the moan when Baron’s thumb brushed over my clit. “Familiar… you keep saying that, what does it mean?”
“My apologies, Colin, I had hoped to discuss this with you first, but since time is of the essence, I beg your forgiveness.”
“I hide nothing from Lillie, so no apologies are necessary.”
“Very well.” Even though he was speaking of Colin’s life, he addressed me. “Colin’s mother was a witch from a small town in the mountains in Romania. Centuries ago, the coven was decimated by a pack of werecreatures, so they sought the help of the vampires in the regions. For the vampire’s protection against the werebeasts, each witch agreed to relinquish their firstborn to look over and protect a vampire mate until it was time to claim them at maturity. A spell was placed on each of the children, binding them to the vampire’s future mate. It is an honor to be a human familiar. A chosen one. As gratitude for their service, the familiar is welcomed as part of the vampire family after the mate is claimed. At that time the spell is broken and the familiar is free to leave if he so chooses, but they never do. Allister and I gifted you Colin.” Baron focused his attention on Colin. “He placed you in Lillie’s life to look after her until he could come for her. You didn’t grow up next door to Lillie by coincidence. Your family had to keep you close to her. Your adopted mother and father are guardians.”
Colin’s brow furrowed. “I know about my family in Romania, the rumors of witches. My mother used to tell me stories, but I didn’t know there was any truth to them.”
“Are you saying Colin has no free will?”
“He does now. Allister’s mishap broke the spell. Since that time Colin has chosen every day to stay with you. To nourish you. He could go at any time, but he won’t, because he doesn’t want to. Isn’t that right, Colin?”
The word that left his lips was soft and breathy. “Yes.”
I thought back to all of Colin’s recent declarations. About how he told me he loved me. If Baron could be trusted, perhaps I had been making the wrong decision regarding him.
“Lillie, love, I’d like you to consider allowing Colin to penetrate you here…” Baron’s fingers teased around the rim of my entrance. “...while you drink from him. You’ll be able to feel his pulse more acutely to know better when to stop. And the pleasure you receive from the experience will be more intense. And for him, it will be like nothing he’s ever experienced.”
“Colin… I…”
Colin stroked a finger across my cheek. “I’ve told you before that I love you. That’s not going to change if we have sex. I see how much it pains you to stick a needle in my arm. I end up fisting my cock while I hear you cry out from the bathroom anyway. I know you know. If we could share our pleasure, take the distance out of the process, I’d...be much happier. I want to share it with you if that’s what you want.”
I shot him a pained smile. “OK. You’re right. We’ve already crossed lines that can’t be uncrossed.”
“Splendid.” Baron hooked his fingers in the sides of my panties and worked them down my legs. As he worked my dress up my thighs, he buried his nose between my legs. “You have the most delightful fragrance. Like ocean spray in spring. Perhaps someday, you’ll permit me to savor you. But for now, we have other pressing matters. We must teach you to feed.” Baron stood, exposing me to Colin. He retreated to his chair and picked up his drink. “Go on, Colin. It would be impolite to turn down what the lady is offering.”
Colin lifted his gaze from between my legs and sought my reassurance.
I reached out my hand and pulled him to me, before glancing to see Baron sipping his drink, intently watching our performance. This wasn’t what I had imagined for the first time with Colin. Even though I had maintained distance between us, I had guiltilty indulged more than my fair share of fantasies about him. None of them included a vampire voyeur, but Baron was necessary. I needed his guidance and the calm erotic fascination flooding through him helped put me at ease.
Colin knelt between my legs, his back to Baron. “Lillie, are you sure about this? We don’t have to do this. I’ll gladly keep taking the needle if you think you’ll regret even a moment.”
In that moment, Baron didn’t exist. It was o
nly us. “I could never regret giving you pleasure over pain, but I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t. I promise you that.” He cupped my cheek in his hand and smiled, lightening the mood. “Besides, if this orgasm is anything like the one in the van that first time, you won’t be able to get rid of me even if you try.” He pressed his mouth to mine. He tasted of mint and anise. His soft, supple lips tugged, and a desire caged for our lifetimes was released on his breath.
I sighed his name, “Colin…”
“Please…” his only response, before he steadied himself with one hand on the back of the sofa and the other drifted to his waist to undo his belt and unzip his pants. Reaching a hand into his boxers, he pulled out his cock. His impressive member nudged my entrance while our mouths danced.
“Lillie, press your nose against that spot just below his ear. Inhale. You can smell the absinthe in his blood. When you no longer can scent his blood, you will need to stop. You’ll strike just below his ear when you’re ready. Allow him to enter you first.” Baron’s voice was deep, soft, and sensual, adding a new level of eroticism to the experience.
Colin slid his cock back and forth through my wetness before sliding into me. His hot breath caressed my face. “Oh Lillie, I—”
I tried to focus on the task at hand, but the feel of him overwhelmed. “Yes, Colin...I know.” A completion, an understanding between us had finally been realized. It was as though this was where he was meant to be. My only regret was that I had denied him for so long.
“There is a slight pulse to his cock. That will help you gauge when the time is right. It will be the first pulse to weaken. Extract your teeth and lick the wounds when you feel the tempo change.”
It was hard to focus on Baron’s instruction while experiencing Colin inside me. I wanted to feel without splitting my focus, but that wasn’t a luxury I could afford now.