by Vera Hollins
“I’ve let go of our past. I was holding grudges all this time and reminding myself how bad you were, but you’ve changed, and what you did for me in that house…no, from the moment you stepped in front of Isaac’s gun to protect me in the school parking lot—I’ll never forget it. And now I just want to be next to you and love you. I just want to make you happy. And I…” I placed my hand on his cheek and ran my thumb softly over one of the cuts that marred his cheek. “I forgive you. For everything.”
His eyes darted between mine as he studied me quietly with no smile on his face, and the prolonged silence played with my nerves.
“Say something,” I let out on a breathless chuckle.
“It took you a while,” he said with a smirk and a mischievous glint in his eyes.
I raised my eyebrows as the faint blush coated my cheeks, but then his gaze softened.
“That’s okay. It took me a while too.” He leaned in and pulled my lower lip between his, tugging at it once before he kissed it. “It took me a while and that fucking gun aimed at your head to realize you’re the most important thing to me. Nothing matters but you.” He laced his fingers through my hair. “All this time I was so stuck on my past I didn’t even see I was missing out.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “I was missing out on the best thing that has happened to me, and I almost lost it. I almost lost you.” He nuzzled my nose. “But not anymore. I’m not leaving you. Ever.”
A sweet ache nestled in my chest as warmth and happiness claimed each inch of me. A happy melody formed in my mind, playing out in a quick tempo that matched my fast heartbeat. I couldn’t look away from his eyes that spoke so much to me, feeling the warmth that helped dispel the ever-crushing feeling of his death. He was here; he was alive. Not dead. Not anymore.
Too overwhelmed by my feelings for him, I pressed my lips against his and gripped him by his hospital gown. I felt like no kiss would ever be enough. I was going to kiss him again and again, day after day, and shower him with the love my heart begged me to give him.
“Thank you for forgiving me,” he said in between kisses. “Thank you for being the person you are.”
He held me by the back of my head and deepened our kiss, and it was all I’d ever needed and much more.
“You got under my skin, Jessie, and I love every second of it.” He moved my hair away from my neck and left a kiss under my ear. I let out a satisfied sigh, my eyes fluttering closed. “I can’t get you out of my head.” He placed another soft kiss on my neck. “I can’t stop thinking about you or when I’m going to see you again.” He drew away. “You’re all I can think about these days, and it sickened me that I couldn’t even do anything. It was like my hands were tied again because I had to make things right and avenge Emma.”
“How about now? You wanted them dead. Do you…do you feel like you’ve failed her?”
He looked out the window into the evening darkness. His brows furrowed as he mused on something. Slowly, the corner of his lips quirked up.
“No. You were right. She wouldn’t want me to destroy or sacrifice my life. She would want me happy. And I’m happy because I have you.” He looked at me. “I’d rather see them dead, true, but they will get what they deserve because I’m going to make sure they’re serving life.”
“How are you going to do that?”
“My dad has connections. It would be no problem to convince a judge to sentence them to life without parole, and at the worst prison in the state. A lot of nasty stuff can happen there that will make them ‘reevaluate their life choices’,” he said, quoting Bobby Q’s words. He smirked, and I was offered a glimpse of that cruelty I’d seen when he held Bobby Q at gunpoint. “I guess the video I kept all this time won’t just be a torturous reminder of those days. It will come in handy as evidence.”
“I’m just glad they won’t be able to hurt anyone anymore.” I palmed his cheek and smiled. “It’s over.”
He smiled back at me. “It’s over for them…but it’s just the beginning for us.”
My heart contracted. My lips curled into an even bigger smile, but then the door burst open, and a barrage of questions filled the room. I jumped away from Blake’s bed like I’d been caught red-handed as his parents pushed their way through a crowd of reporters with cameras and microphones that had flocked to the corridor outside Blake’s room.
“Mayor Jones, what can you say about the kidnapping?”
“Mayor Jones, is it true that your son was kidnapped four years ago?”
“Sir, we heard your son was shot in the head. Is that true?”
“Is he alive?”
“No, you’re looking at a vampire,” Blake said in a low tone with a sneer.
The security officer kept his parents separated from the reporters, shielding them as they came inside. The reporters pushed forward to get some photos, but the security officer didn’t allow it.
“No cameras allowed,” he said, preventing one of the reporters from getting in. “You’re not allowed to enter. Step back.” He closed the door, which left Blake, his parents, and me in awkward silence as they stared at me. I blushed.
“Hello,” I said quietly to break the ice, giving them a small wave.
“Jessica Metts?” Nathaniel said.
“You came back from Hartford to see me,” Blake said, his face blank. “Surprise, surprise.”
Daniela and Nathaniel approached his bed and stopped on his other side, splitting a look between Blake and me.
“We were supposed to return tomorrow, but once we got the call, we came as quickly as possible,” Daniela said.
She was a picture of composure as always. There were no worry lines on her face as she looked at her son; there was nothing. If it was my mother in her place, she would be a bawling mess by now. However, I could see a hint of anguish in the depth of those gray eyes, reminding me so much of Blake.
“How are you holding up?” Nathaniel asked him.
Blake assumed a bored expression. “As you can see, I’m in one piece, so don’t be so heartbroken about me.” His sarcasm brought a frown to their faces.
“We’re worried about you, son,” Nathaniel said. “You could’ve died.” He shook his head and closed his eyes for a few moments in an unusual and brief display of vulnerability. “And to think the same people kidnapped you again. It’s ridiculous!”
“But this time you can’t hide it from the public,” Blake retorted with a sardonic smile on his face. “I’m sorry about your reputation, Dad, but you can’t keep it intact this time. I wonder what the media will say once they hear you wanted to keep everything on the down low.”
“Will you stop with that attitude, Blake?” his mother asked. “We’re not your enemies. We’ve done what we thought would be best for our family—what would be best for you. You developed…” She looked at me, stopping herself before she said what she’d intended to say. “You developed some issues after that, and it would’ve been worse if the whole town had gossiped about you. It would’ve been a constant reminder for you.”
Blake curled his lip at her. “How touching. You did it all for me.” He rolled his eyes. “And you can say what it is. She knows I have PTSD.”
Daniela let out an almost undetectable gasp. Her eyes widened imperceptibly as she took me in. “You told her?” She was looking at me differently now, like she was seeing me for the first time, and I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. “Why are you here exactly?”
I felt myself blushing profusely under their inquisitive stares. “I—”
“Why is she here?” Blake asked, staring at them. He took my hand. “She’s here because she’s my girlfriend.”
Girlfriend. I gaped at him.
Nathaniel’s brows rose. “Your girlfriend?”
Blake smiled softly at me. I felt hot and so shy in front of his parents, but that didn’t defuse my happiness.
“Yes, girlfriend.” He didn’t look away from me, smiling. “And I love her.”
It was official. My heart would burst a
ny moment now.
He looked at them, narrowing his eyes. “Any problem with that?”
Daniela and Nathaniel shared an uncomfortable glance.
“No.” Nathaniel was the first to speak. He cleared his throat. “No, not at all.”
“Good,” Blake answered and squeezed my hand, his eyes glimmering joyfully as he looked at me. “Because I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
On Monday, it seemed like the whole town knew the mayor’s son had been kidnapped for the second time. The media went nuts, trying to dig into Blake’s past as much as they could, and the headlines talking about both kidnappings seemed never-ending. People were shocked to hear that Blake had gotten kidnapped when he was only fourteen years old, along with his girlfriend who’d been raped and brutally killed, which sparked public outrage.
The news outlets were starving for drama, so when they heard a girl had been involved in the second kidnapping too, it was like offering blood to sharks, drawing their unwanted attention to me. The reporters had been calling the whole day trying to get an interview with me, but Mom refused every one of them. By Tuesday, she couldn’t handle the phone constantly ringing in our house, so she unplugged the device and cursed journalists—or as she called them, vultures—six ways to Sunday.
The mayor was quick to hold a press conference in an attempt to reduce the damage this could cause to his reputation. He claimed they’d needed to keep the first kidnapping a secret because they feared for their son’s safety, which only gave rise to more questions. However, he skillfully dodged them by talking about Bobby Q, Isaac, and Lawrence and the long time they awaited in prison. He ended with a promise that he would do everything in his power to make sure they received the punishment they deserved, which earned him a round of loud applause.
The way Nathaniel dealt with the public outcry was revolting, and I felt sorry that Blake’s dad couldn’t be someone who cared for his family more than his public image. Blake didn’t make a big deal out of it since he was already used to it, but it only made me want to show him even more that he was loved and cared for. He wasn’t alone in this world. Not anymore.
Since we were on spring break, I used the free time to be with Blake and work on my music. My mind replayed the scenes from that house on repeat, and my music helped me shut it out at least for a while. It helped me forget the dark side of this world that I never wanted to experience again. However, I couldn’t stop the tears as I played my guitar, letting all those negative feelings flow out of me before they ate me alive.
I cried and cried, welcoming each new breath I inhaled more than ever. I could see many things in a new light and appreciate what I had, which fueled my strength to pursue my dreams no matter how hard it would be. One step at a time.
At night, memories unveiled themselves in front of my eyes like a movie reel. Emma. Blake. Me. Lost and broken dreams. Second chances. But I had Blake’s nightly call to help me deal with bad feelings. After almost an hour, his deep voice would lull me into dreamless sleep, and it would almost be as if nothing had happened.
On Thursday night, I edited and uploaded the video of my solo on YouTube, right after I changed the name of my channel from Valerie to Jessie, using Blake’s nickname for me as my new stage name. I was finally revealing myself to the public, and as I watched the video load and play on my screen, I felt a strange mixture of anticipation and relief. I was taking another big step forward after my festival solo, and it was just the beginning.
The next step would be live performances, and I already had some plans for the summer. My stomach twisted just imagining it, but all the anxiety would be worth it. It would be worth it to perform for many people and see their faces as they got immersed in my music.
I smiled. One day. One day, I would make it happen.
My new phone rang, and my smile grew bigger when I saw Blake’s ID.
“Hey,” I said as I sank into my bed and settled myself against the pillows.
“I just saw your video. You look like an angel when you sing.”
I squealed and blushed. I wanted to hug my phone to my chest. “You really think so?”
“Yeah. All those views you have? Half of them are from me.”
I giggled. The previous night, I’d told him about my channel and my dream to become a singer, and he had spent hours browsing through my videos and liking them. He teased me, saying I was about to pee myself with how excited I was each time he clicked on a new video, but it was hard not to be in seventh heaven when he was quickly becoming my number one fan. He even asked me to send him one of my songs so he could use it as a ringtone for my calls.
“I’m just glad I have any views at all. I was so nervous when I posted it.”
“Don’t be. I’m sure everyone will love it. I’ll have to fend off your admirers real soon.”
I started chuckling and couldn’t stop. “Already jealous?”
“Can’t help it when I have such an attractive and talented girlfriend.”
There it was again. I couldn’t get any happier, and my longing for him pulsated stronger. We’d seen each other only this morning, but it felt like it’d been days, and I missed him. I’d never known being his girlfriend would feel so, so good. I still had to pinch myself to prove to myself I wasn’t dreaming.
“You’re so full of compliments today.”
“Is that a problem?”
I grinned. “No, I just feel like you’re going to spoil me soon.”
“I wouldn’t mind that.”
“I miss you.”
“I miss you too. I can’t stop thinking about you. But you already know that.” There was a raspy quality to his voice that underlined his words, and I got a strong urge to make out with him until we were both breathless and totally lost in each other.
“It doesn’t hurt to hear it again.” There was a knock at the door. “Hold on a sec,” I said to Blake and sat up. “Yes?”
My mom peered inside. “Can you come down? Dad and I want to talk to you.” She looked serious, with a hardly visible smile tugging at her lips.
“Sure. I’ll be there in a minute.” She nodded and closed the door. “Blake, I have to go. My parents want to talk to me about something.”
“Okay. We’ll talk later.”
My chest warmed. I was already looking forward to it. “I can’t wait.”
I stood up as soon as I disconnected and left my phone on my bed. I wondered what they wanted to talk about.
When I’d been discharged from the hospital, they had sat me down in the living room for a long talk about the kidnapping. Mom and I had broken into tears when she pulled me into a hug and held me as I shared the most horrifying details.
I’d never seen them more scared, and I wished they didn’t have to go through this. I didn’t want to think about how they would’ve felt if anything had happened to me. Maybe they were too strict and unrelenting when it came to some aspects of my upbringing, but they loved me the most in this world, and I knew no matter what, I was never alone. I would always have them.
They were seated on the couch when I stepped into the living room. “What’s up?”
They glanced at each other. “Last night, Dad and I talked about your college decision.”
I froze mid-step. “Okay.” I lowered myself into the armchair next to the couch and clasped my hands together in my lap. They didn’t look off the wall, but that didn’t alleviate my sudden anxiety. If they wanted to tell me they wouldn’t support me and help me with expenses…
Mom’s lips curled into a tiny smile. The worry lines seemed to have etched themselves into her forehead since Sunday, and it was like she had aged years in a matter of few days. “We support you.”
I was sure I must’ve heard her wrong. “What?”
Dad smiled at me. The dark circles under his eyes matched Mom’s. Both of them looked like they hadn’t slept a wink the night before. “We support your decision to go to a music college,” he said.
I gaped at them. “You do?”
Mom nodded. “Yes.” Her smile disappeared, giving way to pain. “We want only the best for you, but not at the expense of your happiness. What happened on Sunday…” She shuddered. “It opened our eyes. You were right. Life is too short and unpredictable for you to waste your opportunities. We’ve pressured you too much, without ever really asking you what you want.”
“We want you happy, Jess,” Dad said. “And if becoming a lawyer will make you unhappy, we won’t pressure you to do it. All that matters is that you’re safe, healthy, and happy.”
My heart danced madly in my chest as I looked between them. “Do you really mean that?”
Mom leaned toward me and placed her hand over mine on my lap. “Yes. And it’s high time we start believing everything is going to be all right no matter which path you choose, isn’t that right, Owen?” She looked at Dad with a smile.
“That’s right. You have an extraordinary talent, so prove us wrong. Prove you can make a future for yourself. Fight through good and bad.”
“And don’t worry about the money, because we’ll help you with it as much as we can,” Mom added, making my heart beat even faster. “Follow your dreams, honey. Make us proud.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I squealed in excitement and wound my arms around her tightly. “You’re the best!” I squealed even louder as I hugged Dad. “I’ll make you proud. You’ll see.”
I couldn’t stop grinning, jumping up and down like a little kid. They were letting me follow my dreams. I almost expected someone to tell me this was an early April Fools’ joke, but they were serious and it was real.
“I love you,” I told them.
Mom left a kiss on the top of my head. “We love you too.”
“But if you change your mind one day and decide to become a lawyer, you can come to work at my firm any time,” Dad added.
“Sure. Thanks,” I said, but I knew deep down that I would never stray from my path.
“And bring Blake to our house sometimes,” Mom said with a grin as she winked at me. “We would like to know your boyfriend better.”
I groaned. “Mom, no! It’s completely embarrassing.”