by Mary Grand
‘I’m surprised to see you here,’ said Beth.
‘I had to come and check some paperwork. It doesn’t stop because I have a personal emergency. I know some patients are waiting for important results. I had to check for them.’
Beth was struck anew by how dedicated William was to his job. ‘That is very good of you. How’s Imogen?’
‘No change. I’m going straight back to the hospital now.’
‘I hope things have improved.’
‘And what are you doing here at this time?’
‘Just coming to see Alex for a chat.’
William gave her a sad, weary smile and left.
Alex let her in. ‘Fancy a drink? I’ve got some white wine from the island vineyard. It’s very good.’
‘Thanks.’
Alex went into the kitchen, talking as he moved around opening cupboards.
‘I’ve given myself tomorrow off,’ he shouted from the kitchen. ‘I’ll do a bit of work on the online pharmacy work, but then I’m going to have a day cycling around the island. It’s a good weather forecast. I have to say, you’re lucky with the weather over here.’
As he talked, Beth wandered over to the shelves where the brown envelopes were arranged in two neat piles. In the first pile each was numbered in the left-hand corner. She picked them up and looked inside. They were empty. She ruffled through the next pile and was about to look inside one when she was aware of Alex returning. She quickly tried to put the envelopes back. ‘Your glass of wine,’ he said, then noticed where she was. ‘What are you doing over there?’
Alex gave her the glass of wine but frowned when he saw the untidy pile of envelopes. He moved to tidy them, then looked back at her. The flash in his eyes made her blush. ‘Were you looking in these?’
‘Why should I? They’re just envelopes,’ she stammered.
Alex screwed up his eyes. ‘I think you were. What did you think you might find?’
‘Nothing.’
He picked up one of the empty envelopes.
‘Are you thinking this is like the envelopes Imogen’s drugs were sent in?’
Beth felt very sick. She half smiled.
He looked at her more closely. ‘Seriously. Is that what you’re thinking?’
She nodded.
‘You suspect I’m doing more than selling coins online?’
Beth eyes widened in fear. ‘I don’t know.’
He sat down. ‘Why would you think that I would have anything to do with selling drugs?’
She swallowed. ‘The envelope. You telling Imogen about the dark net, and I saw her come here the night before she took the overdose.’
‘I never told Imogen about the dark net. I have no idea how you get on there.’
‘I remember when we were talking at the pharmacy after Imogen went in. You said that these people on the dark net saw what they were doing as no worse than selling clothes or something. It sounded like you didn’t think it was such a terrible thing to do.’
Alex frowned. ‘I was simply trying to explain how some of them might see it. Of course, I don’t condone it in any way. It’s monstrous. Of course, I would never approve of what they’re doing and certainly never have anything to do with it myself. I would no more do such a thing than your Sami would. Look in my safe, the envelopes, the whole flat. There’s nothing. You can have sniffer dogs brought here if you want.’
Beth gritted her teeth. ‘I’m so sorry, but can you understand why I was suspicious? I saw Imogen come in to see you last night.’
‘Yes. She’d found some pills that she’d lost the box to.’ Alex glowered at her. ‘She didn’t come here to be supplied with drugs. I’m fed up of your insinuations. I’m a dedicated pharmacist. I would never, ever, be involved in anything illegal.’ He jumped up and rushed over to a drawer. ‘And as for Amy, here is the copy of the report from the inquest. Read it.’
Beth took the papers, but her hands were shaking.
‘Read it,’ he repeated.
Beth tried to concentrate and read, and as far as she could make out from the wordy document, Alex was speaking the truth. There was no mention of the mix-up of drugs, but it was hard to take it in. She handed it back. ‘I’m sorry—’
‘I’ve had enough. I’d like you to go.’
Beth got up, feeling humiliated. She left the flat, ran up the road, and up the steps to the graveyard. She collapsed next to Kathleen’s grave and sat sobbing. She was so confused: if Alex hadn’t done any of these things, no wonder he was insulted.
‘Kathleen, I tried to so hard, but it’s all falling apart,’ she sobbed. ‘Everyone hates me. I’m so stupid.’
Beth took out her phone and shone it on the grave. It looked lost here: just a mound of earth. She would be glad when there was a headstone. She noticed another bunch of flowers, like the last time, tied with the pink ribbon. This time there was no message, simply a heart. As she looked at the flowers, she was reminded of something. Of course, it couldn’t be a coincidence. She knew who had left those flowers and, looking at the heart, she knew why.
‘I’m sorry.’ The voice startled her. Through the darkness she could make out Alex. She stood up, wiping the mud off her knees.
‘No, you’re right. I’m blundering around. I hear one thing, then the opposite. I don’t know who to believe.’
‘Look, it’s all right. Come back, check this CCTV.’
She was about to turn down the offer, but she needed to see that video, so silently she followed Alex back. It was eerie entering the empty pharmacy, white coats hanging on the back of the door watching them, judging her for being there.
Alex turned on the computer, and loaded the file.
‘This system we put in at Christmas, it can be downloaded direct on the computer. Saves piles of discs. We record in real time, so the quality is good. Ah, good. We’ve got as far back as that Sunday night. Don’t tell anyone. According to the guidance, we should only be keeping about thirty days, I think. Anyway, let’s see what its shows.’
He started it at nine on the night of the house party. They could only see the corner of the pharmacy car, but had a very clear view of the entrance.
‘Do we need to go back that far?’
‘Just curious. You know, in case, say, someone moved the car the night before. We’ll put it on fast forward, though, or we’ll be here all night.’
It was all very still, slightly spooky with the night camera. They saw a cat, then a man come in and urinate against the hedge. But no cars, no other movement. It started to get quite tedious, but Beth tried to keep concentrating. At one point Alex went out to fetch his glass of wine, but Beth never took her eyes away from the screen. They reached two, three o’clock. Everything was very quiet.
Eventually, it started to reach the early hours. Alex slowed it down. From six o’clock she was on high alert. At 6.30 she saw William drive in and park his car. Beth sat forward. They slowed down more, watched William take out his briefcase, lock his car and then let himself in through the main door. They carried on watching. No one else arrived until the receptionist at 7.30. They saw William let her in. After that the other doctors arrived in quick succession, and patients soon after. At 8.00 Alex stopped the video.
Beth sat very still. The feelings of anti-climax and humiliation wrapped themselves around her. ‘So, that’s it. After all that, no one used the pharmacy car. I got it all wrong. You must think I’m so stupid.’
‘Of course not.’
She felt her cheeks red, hot. ‘Sorry. I should be pleased, shouldn’t I? I didn’t want Imogen to have come in here.’
‘No. It’s good news really. So, does that mean you finally can accept no one went over to Kathleen’s?’
Beth scratched the palm of her hand. It was too quiet; they were too alone; now wasn’t the time. Instead she said, ‘Maybe,’ and stood up. ‘Thank you for helping me despite everything. I’d better go. I told Sami I was going for a walk. He’ll have the police out looking for me.’
As Beth walked home, she tried to think through what she’d learned. She was hugely relieved about Imogen, but what was she to make of Alex?
34
The next day, Beth was thinking about Alex as she walked home from the school, when she received a phone call from Patrick. He sounded breathless, panicky.
‘Listen. Something has cropped up. Can you come over?’
‘Today?’
‘Yes. Please, it’s urgent.’
‘What is it?’
‘There’s something you need to see.’
‘I have to walk Ollie, so I could take him up to the Downs and come to you after. Can you cope with a cocker spaniel as well as me?’
Beth grabbed a packet of crisps and a banana before driving up to the Downs. It was not brilliant sunshine, but instead it was a dull, quiet kind of day. Together she and Ollie walked slowly up the central path. The sea was only just distinguishable from the sky, but it was restful.
She drove on to Patrick’s, and rang the doorbell.
‘Is it OK to bring Ollie in? I’ll keep him on his lead.’
It was a measure of Patrick’s distraction that he didn’t seem to care.
‘Come in,’ he said, briskly. ‘I finally got up the courage to go through Kathleen’s things. It was going well, and then I found something.’
Beth waited, and noticed Patrick glance down at Ollie.
‘Wait there and I’ll bring them down.’
Beth sat on the sofa; Ollie lay down on the floor beside her.
Patrick returned with some small jewellery gift boxes. ‘Sorting through the drawers, and look what I found—’
He laid them on the coffee table in front of her.
‘She had some lovely things,’ said Beth.
‘But I never gave her any of these,’ said Patrick. ‘They’re very expensive pieces. I don’t understand. Where have they come from?’
Beth picked up a pearl necklace in a beautiful box, and touched a diamond brooch in a case. ‘I’ve only ever seen jewellery like this at Alex’s house,’ she said.
‘Amy gave her that butterfly necklace. Do you think she gave her these? It seems too much; I don’t understand.’
Beth breathed deeply. ‘I think you need to ask Alex about them.’
‘Is he at the pharmacy?’
‘No. He’s off today, cycling.’
‘I could try his mobile.’
Beth was busy thinking of a way to get away: she couldn’t face Alex after last night.
Alex answered Patrick’s call surprisingly quickly. Beth heard Patrick explain what he needed to discuss.
Patrick reported, ‘Funnily enough, Alex is close by. He said he could be here in ten minutes.’
‘Why don’t I just leave you to it?’ suggested Beth.
‘Please stay. I could do with the moral support.’
They went out into the garden. Beth released Ollie and he ran straight to where the chicken coop had been. He ran around sniffing.
‘Have the chickens settled in OK with Jilly?’
‘I haven’t asked. I guess so.’
‘How is Conor?’
‘We’re getting on OK. His dad has a lot to answer for. However, the exciting thing is that Conor likes coming out on shoots with me. He is very eager to learn. Who knows if it’s something he’ll do seriously, but I enjoy having a protégé: it’s given me something to do. And it’s given him something else.’ Patrick looked out at the sea. ‘It’s good for me. Although, of course, nothing fills that hole, does it? I see Kathleen, hear her, all the time.’
‘Have you thought of counselling?’
‘No, not yet. William suggested it the other evening when he came round, but I don’t think I’m ready yet.’
‘I suggested it to Conor. It can help to talk to someone.’
‘I will mention it to him again. He’s got a lot to unravel. What I’d love to do is get away. Everything here just reminds me of Kathleen. The trouble is, just when I think I’ve made a step forward, the pain of it all washes over me and I feel like I’m back to square one.’
‘I heard somewhere that grieving the loss of someone so close is like climbing a spiral staircase: you feel like you are going round and round, but slowly you are climbing.’
‘I guess that could be right. It’s difficult. I don’t know that I want to get better. I don’t ever want to forget her.’
‘Of course not.’
Alex came around the back of the house. Beth could feel her cheeks burning. However, he called out in a friendly way, propped his bike against the hedge and came over.
‘Thanks so much for coming,’ said Patrick. ‘Come and get a cold drink.’
Alex gave Beth a quick reassuring smile, and they went inside. Alex drank a glass of water, and then asked, ‘So, what is the mystery?’
‘Come and see this.’
Patrick showed Alex the jewellery on the table. Alex stared at the items and reached out, his hand shaking. He handled the necklace and the brooch. He looked back at them.
‘Do you recognise these?’ asked Patrick.
‘Where did you find them?’
‘In Kathleen’s drawers. Tell me, Alex, did Amy give any of these to Kathleen?’
Alex sat down on the sofa, shaking his head. ‘Amy didn’t give them to Kathleen, but they did belong to her.’
Patrick turned pale, slumped down, his mouth open. When he finally spoke, his words stumbled out. ‘But how? I don’t understand.’
Alex took a deep breath. ‘I didn’t want to raise it, Patrick. None of it matters any more.’
‘I think it does. Please, Alex. Tell me.’
Alex looked at Beth, pleading with his eyes but she said, ‘I think Patrick needs to know.’
The patio doors were open. Beth could hear the seagulls and crows in the distance; it was a very still day.
‘As you know, Amy became fond of Kathleen very quickly. Well, the second time Kathleen went to stay, that was in October, Amy gave Kathleen the butterfly necklace. I admit I found that hard as I’d given that to Amy when we got married, but it was Amy’s choice and I could see Kathleen was delighted with it. But then, after Amy died, it must have been late January, Kathleen told me she’d found the butterfly earrings that match the necklace in her bag. She said she couldn’t remember taking them: all she could think of was that she’d picked them up by mistake.’
‘That’s not likely, is it?’
‘No, not at all. I wanted to believe her. She’d been such a good friend, helped me through one of the hardest times of my life. I was desperate to find an excuse. That’s why I went to William. It seemed so out of character. But he obviously didn’t think there was any medical reason. I had to face the fact that she had stolen them. I guessed it was guilt that made her want to return them. I was so upset, angry. I didn’t know how to handle it. Kathleen had been like some angel, coming and looking after Amy occasionally, and then supporting me. I couldn’t take them back. I was too hard on her, maybe. Looking at all this makes me wonder if she did have a problem after all.’
‘So, you hadn’t missed any of this?’
‘No. I’ve hardly been in Amy’s room, never looked at her jewellery.’
Patrick’s face creased with pain. ‘I can’t believe it. Kathleen would never have stolen anything. You know her upbringing, strict Catholic. I would have thought fear would have stopped her if nothing else. Didn’t the pharmacy fail an inspection because pills had gone missing? Kathleen seemed worried about it; you don’t think she stole anything from there, do you?’
‘No. I told Beth. I never believed she would do that.’
‘But you think she stole these?’ Patrick was bent in despair. ‘You must take them back.’
‘No, I couldn’t. I don’t want to touch them.’
‘But I can’t keep them. Kathleen always loved jewellery, but to steal—’ Patrick stared at the jewellery as if it was only just starting to sink in. ‘My Kathleen did all this? I don’t understand. I thought I knew he
r.’
‘The day she died,’ he said, his voice trembling, ‘they asked me about how she was. Maybe she took her own life: felt so guilty for what she’d done.’ He sat down, his shoulders shaking. He moaned quietly like an injured animal, but there were no tears.
Alex sat by him. ‘Patrick,’ he spoke the name firmly, causing Patrick to still. ‘We are all made up of many pieces. Just because we don’t like one, it doesn’t mean the others are not also part of us. Kathleen may have done this, but she was capable of love, kindness, generosity. I know that whatever she did, she loved you. She told me that you were her world, her everything.’
‘Did she really say that?’
‘I’m not lying. And you must hold on to that, Patrick. I promise you, any other path will lead to madness.’
Patrick stood up. ‘You’ve been so understanding. Thank you, Alex. That was brave. I still love her with all my heart, but I am so very sorry for what she did.’
Alex gave a heartbreakingly sad smile. ‘I’ve forgiven her. It’s in the past now. I think I’d better go. Please, both of you, don’t let this go any further: leave Kathleen’s memory safe. I don’t want any police involvement, nothing. It’s finished now.’
Alex left. Patrick found a small bag, and put the boxes into it. Holding it out to Beth, he said, ‘Please can you do something with these. Sell them. Give the money to charity. Please, I don’t want them in the house.’
‘But I don’t want them.’ Beth could feel herself shaking. Not fear, but anger bubbled away inside her. How dare Kathleen do such a thing? Beth didn’t believe Kathleen had been ill: this was greed, and she’d stolen from someone who trusted her. It was despicable.
She saw tears on Patrick’s cheeks, ‘Please, Beth.’
Beth relented. ‘OK. I’ll take them. I don’t know what to do. What if Alex changes his mind, wants them back?’
‘I don’t think he will. He doesn’t want to think about them any more than I do.’
‘I’ll take them for now. We’ll think in a few weeks’ time what we should do with them.’