Fourth Rite: A Reverse Harem Tale (Lovin' the Coven Book 4)

by Jacquelyn Faye

  Thank you?

  By the time our conversation was over, I was dressed and had my towel wrapped around my head. Since I wasn't driving, I figured a nice glass of wine before dinner sounded kind of awesome.

  The elf was on my couch watching TV with an astonished look on his face. I poured my glass of wine and sat on the love seat. "I'm going out for dinner."

  "I shall make myself presentable."

  "While I appreciate the thought, this is a romantic evening. I would advise staying here."

  "Oh. Another one?"

  I do believe the elf just called me a slut…

  "Yeah. You know us human types. Fuck like bunnies."

  "I see that. While the fae appreciate making love in all its forms–"

  "It's like painting a living room?" Nana's description on their technique popped out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Damn Siamese twin, again.

  "Pardon?"

  "I just meant that it should only be done with care and thoroughly. But not too often."

  "Precisely. Yes. It is much like painting a living area."

  I was crying on the inside. Barely being able to contain my laughter, I took a sip of my wine.

  Bwahahahahahaha. I got him to admit it!

  "Well, anyway. You have the night off. Enjoy your documentary on crayon making."

  "They are extraordinary! I would love to have some. To think of the ease of wich art could be created…"

  "Um, yeah. I'll pick some up for you."

  "Truly?"

  "Sure." Now I felt bad for picking on him. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy.

  "I shall be eternally in your debt. Though, it saddens me to be indebted to one such as yourself."

  "It saddens me to see you sad, when silent would be so much better."

  He harrumphed. "I meant no offense."

  "Still talking."

  "You wish me to be silent?"

  "Tell me what I am, Jaeren."

  Things were much quieter after that. Thankfully he wasn't leaning forward when his face turned red and he passed out. Hopefully I would be sitting in a restaurant, eating skrimps, before he woke up.

  Mmmm. Skrimp. Garlic skrimp. Coconut skrimp. Skrimp scampi… Eat all the skrimps!

  I closed my eyes and leaned back against the soft cushions of my love seat, sipping my wine. It was a dry white and I fervently wished it was elderberry instead. That stuff was magical.

  So was the fae serving it.

  My thoughts drifted to Shea. Shirtless Shea.

  Garlic Shea. Coconut Shea. Shea scampi…

  Woah.

  I was disappointed in myself. For not checking out the rest of his tattoos. That thought caused my breathing to pick up a little. I fanned myself and took another sip of wine. I smiled as my hand, already in my lap, began tracing patterns over my thigh. I looked around the kitchen and saw I was utterly alone. Yuki had gone to eat. I'd made a call to her dear old dad and set it up for her, or any of my people, to make withdraws. Yuki was so happy, she even gave me a hug. Josie and Candace were out. Dar was nowhere to be seen…

  My finger moved on its own down between my thighs. As my vision danced with glowing tattoos and tapered ears, I began breathing even heavier as I touched myself.

  "Woof!"

  Dar was sitting up on the floor next to me, staring at my face over the arm of the love seat. All the heat that had been warming me from within cooled as it traveled up and settled in my cheeks.

  I'm going into my room to go die now.

  Sorry to disturb you…

  Yeah. This shall never be discussed.

  As you wish.

  I thought you were outside.

  Obviously.

  I wasn't…

  Yes, you were. In front of a passed-out elf, no less.

  I wasn't thinking about him, though.

  I'm sure.

  Alrighty then. Good talk.

  He just let out a doggy chuckle as I slinked into my room. I closed the door and leaned back against it. I liked my room and since I would no longer be able to face the damned dog in my living room ever again, I should probably get used to staring at the four walls.

  The doorbell wrecked that plan.

  I pulled the towel off my hair and whispered the canting of my drying spell as I ran my fingers through it. I still needed to brush it, but at least it didn't look like I had just gotten out of the shower or busted masturbating.

  I power walked from my bedroom to the front door, ignoring the still chuckling dog.

  Better I caught you than those two.

  Pulling the door open, I smiled at Jimmy and panicked when my eyes flicked to Derek standing behind him…

  "Hey…guys. Come on in. I'm almost ready."

  "Hi, baby." Jimmy kissed me as he walked in.

  "Hi, Angel," Derek said and leaned in with a goofy grin. I pushed him back.

  "Nice try."

  "Damn it all ta hell. Thought I had ya with that one."

  "Not even close. And I'm not your angel. Not anymore."

  "Ouch. Right in tha feels."

  "Should I be worried that you two are hanging out together?" I cocked an eyebrow at Jimmy. He was horrible at looking innocent.

  "Of course…not."

  I wanted to swat him for the pause. "Let me go throw on some shoes and brush my hair."

  "Okay. We'll occupy ourselves in the living room."

  "Don't hurt the elf."

  By the time I looked over my shoulder, he was already poking him in the face. I chuckled and grabbed my shoes, slipping them on and running the brush through my hair as quick as the tangles would let me.

  When I was back in the living room, the elf was awake. I briefly wondered where else Jimmy had poked him. "I'll be back later, Jaeren."

  "A word?"

  I sighed. "Wait for me in the car, kids."

  "Come on, Derek. Momma and Daddy are having a fight."

  "Aye."

  I waited until they left through the front door with Dar. Apparently, he was going with us. "Yes?"

  "I apologize."

  "What?"

  "I am sorry. I consistently say the wrong thing and anger you. I am having a difficult time accepting my role and taking it out on you. Some of it was unintentional. Would you please bear with me and not cause me to lose consciousness again? I find it rather disturbing."

  "Fine. No more snark from you and no more roofie phrases from me."

  "Roofie?"

  "Long story. I'm sorry, too. Have fun and I will get you some crayons if I see any."

  His face brightened a little. He was rather attractive when he wasn't being a complete asshole. "Thank you."

  "See you later."

  "Have a good evening, Lady."

  Damn it. Now I feel guilty.

  Pulling on my jacket and grabbing my keys, I headed out the door. All three of them were standing by my car, waiting patiently. "He confess his love?" Jimmy asked after I closed the door.

  I nearly panicked, visions of Shea dancing in my head. The visions were dancing, not the Shea's. But then he was holding on to a stripper pole…

  What the fuck?

  "Ho? I mean who?" I shook my head to clear it.

  Jimmy cocked an eyebrow at me and tilted his head a little. "Or did you profess yours?"

  "Whaaaat? To the elf? Are you kidding me? No."

  He turned and looked at Derek, who shrugged and looked like he wanted to run. I didn't blame him. I kind of did, too. "Anyway. I'm starving. Let's eat!" I tossed Jimmy the keys and headed for the passenger side door.

  I slid into the car and Derek got in the back with Dar.

  "I know he's your familiar, but do ye go everywhere with him?"

  "With as many times as I've been shot, blowed up, bitten, stabbed, and magicked, he and my vampire have sworn to never leave me alone again. You're lucky I got the elf to stay home."

  "Ya. He seems like a bit o' a stick in the mud."

  "You have no idea. The other end of the stick is in h
is ass."

  Jimmy started the car and we were on our way to dinner. Thankfully. My stomach was chewing on my backbone. I gave a brief, silent plea that I didn't react to seafood like I did meat.

  I wouldn't worry. I can hardly even stand the smell.

  Let's just hope you don't inherit my desire for skrimp.

  What's a skrimp?

  Shrimp. Shellfish.

  I would not worry. He made a gagging noise in the back seat.

  "You okay, doggy?"

  I could feel Dar's piercing glare.

  "So. What's the special occasion?" Jimmy took his eyes off the road for a moment to see if I was talking to him. I was. I wanted to know what he was up to.

  "Nothing. Just trying to get to know Derek a bit more. He's really fun."

  "Thank ya. Not so bad, yerself."

  Oh, goddess. They were bonding.

  "So. How was your day?"

  I glanced at him in panic. Having no intention of withholding any information about my morning with Jimmy and my evening with Shea… I wasn't exactly keen on discussing it in front of my ex-boyfriend. Who left me. Good thing I wasn't bitter anymore.

  "You don't want me to tell you right now."

  "Oh, now I do."

  "No."

  "Please?"

  "Nope."

  "If it's about the chief, I don't mind, Dot."

  I'm not so sure about that. "It's okay."

  "Don't make me turn this car around."

  "Fine. I was riding Jason on his couch and Chief walked in. Happy?" I added testily.

  "Well, a little more detail would have been nice. My junk barely flinched."

  "I'll make your junk flinch."

  "Ouch."

  "You have no idea…"

  Derek leaned forward, putting his head closer to us. "Is Jason another boyfriend?"

  "Yeah."

  "So, you have three of em now?"

  He wasn't angry, and didn't sound disgusted, either. Which was refreshing. He was merely curious. "Yes."

  "Never woulda thought I'd see somthin' like this happen. You were so…reserved in our youth."

  "She still is. It took her longer than I thought for her to come to terms with it. She wanted to take things slow, but all of us wanted her so bad, we kind of egged her on." Jimmy smiled at Derek in the mirror.

  "Aye. I can see that. I still do na understand how ya don't get jealous of each other. Step on each other's toes. Or dicks."

  "Simple. It turns me on. I love the thought of Dot being with other people. Chief loves her but doesn't want to get married or live together. And Jason…probably just thinks he's the luckiest sonofabitch in the world."

  That made me smile. It was probably true. "Yeah. Chief and I would both probably end up arrested for attempted murder if we lived together. We're too much alike."

  "And do ya love him?"

  "Yes. Jason, too."

  "Sorry. I not pryin'. Just tryin' ta understand. If I ask too many questions, tell me ta shut me mouth."

  "Don't worry. I will."

  He chuckled. "Just the three?"

  I hesitated a moment too soon. Jimmy caught my pause. His head turned completely toward me with a curious expression on his face. "Yes."

  "What aren't you telling me?"

  I sighed. "I'm finding myself extraordinarily attracted to somebody…"

  Derek seemed to swell in the back seat. With pride. Not lust. "Who?" He asked, thinking he already knew the answer.

  "Not you," I said honestly. When he came back over Thanksgiving and I saw him at my door, I was. I practically drooled while watching him eat. But when I saw how afraid both Chief and Jimmy were, it made me stop and think. I thought about the hurt and betrayal I felt after he left. He never even tried to contact me once while he was in Ireland. Not once. I hadn't heard shit from him in forty years. That kind of pissed me off and I wasn't the little lovestruck witch he left behind.

  I turned my head and gave him a steady glare. Even thinking about it just made me angry. He gave me a sad smile and a knowing nod.

  "Who?" Jimmy asked, again.

  I turned my head back and said, "Shea."

  "Woah."

  "Librarian Shea?" Derek asked incredulously.

  "Trap Shea?" Jimmy sounded intrigued.

  "Trap?" I was trying to make the connection but failing miserably.

  "It's a trap!" He sighed when I didn't get the joke. "A trap is a man so feminine and beautiful that you receive a surprise when you see him naked."

  "Oh. He's definitely a trap," I said as the car jostled as we entered the Red Lobster parking lot. Jimmy almost hit three parked cars in shock.

  "You saw him naked?" He pulled into the closest open spot. At least they weren't busy.

  "What? No. Only half naked. I asked him to take his shirt off."

  "So, ya aren't sure if the lad has a package?"

  "Oh. No. I just meant I got a surprise when he took his shirt off."

  "He has tits?" Jimmy sounded like he was about to shoot a load in his pants.

  "What? What is wrong with you people? He has tattoos, not tits. He's covered in them and they glow when I touch them."

  "You touched his tattoos?"

  "Yeah. It was really cool. They almost looked digital when my fingers slid over them."

  Jimmy groaned and shut the car off, they were both staring at me with open mouths.

  "She moves fast, Jimmy."

  "Aye, Derek," he answered, mimicking his accent perfectly.

  "I'm starting ta see the attractiveness of her touching another man, though."

  "Aye."

  I was shifting, uncomfortably, under their stares. "Come on. Let's eat. Roll the window down for Dar."

  He turned the key back on and rolled the window down before shutting it off again.

  "Be a good boy and I'll bring you a doggy bag!"

  Bite me.

  I shut the car door, heading toward the entrance while the boys adjusted themselves. It only took a few moments, and I was glad I hadn't mentioned the kiss. Yet.

  "Hi, welcome to Red Lobster! Just you tonight?"

  "No. Two more are on their way in."

  On cue, they opened the door and walked in. Little Suzy, if I read her name tag right, lost all sensibility and stared hungrily.

  Mine.

  "A table in the back if you have one."

  She blinked and looked back to me. I almost heard the ripping noise as her hungry gaze was torn from my man flesh. "Sorry! Yes. Right away."

  She grabbed a handful of menus and led the way. What bothered me more than her staring was the jealousy that flared inside me. I was getting used to it, but this time I wasn't sure if it was for Jimmy, Derek, or both of them. I sighed and followed her after palming a pack of kiddy crayons for the elf. I'd buy him a big pack next trip to the store. He could make pretty things with four colors for now.

  We were seated in a corner booth. Shockingly, I ended up in the middle and the two of them were a little closer than necessary. I mean, they both smelled good and I didn't mind if we weren't going to be eating. They hadn't seen me devour skrimp. I didn't want to take out an eye with a stray shell. I spread my elbows and they took the hint, looking a little embarrassed.

  Our waitress, a cute little blonde with short cropped hair, thankfully seemed to be more interested in me than the guys. She efficiently took our drink order and left while the guys looked at the menu.

  "Did anything else happen?"

  "Where?"

  "At Shea's."

  "I might have kissed him when I left. Softly. Oh, and I agreed to go on a date with him when we get back from Faerie."

  "Did ye say Faerie?"

  "Yes?"

  "Why?"

  "Elven assassin. Goddess commanded me to go. Long story. Jimmy fill him in."

  He nodded, not looking up from the menu.

  "Ye are so different from so long ago."

  I looked over at him, a little in shock. "That was forty years ago. Of course,
I am."

  "Am I?"

  "I don't know. You haven't left yet." I laughed and slapped my knee.

  "Ouch."

  "Tell me you didn't deserve that."

  "Aye. I did. I should have kept in contact with ya. I figgered I was makin' things easier on ya."

  "You didn't. But thanks for trying."

  He nodded and focused back on the menu.

  Our waitress brought our drinks. "What can I get you folks to eat?" I tore into my strawberry daiquiri as fast as I could without freezing my brain. I hated frozen drinks, but it sounded yummy. And had dark rum on top.

  "Ultimate shrimp feast."

  "Same."

  "Same."

  "Have it out to you shortly."

  I grabbed a biscuit, ripped it in half and shoved both in my mouth. That way, I had an excuse not to answer anymore of Derek's questions. Maybe I could chew slowly enough that the food would be out before I finished. My plan worked until I started choking on the biscuit. It literally tried to end my life. Sure, I'd tried to kill it first, but it was one of those garlic cheese thingies. They deserved to die. Nothing should be that delicious and live.

  Derek started pounding my back, Jimmy got ready to do the Heimlich, and I grabbed my drink. I poked a hole with the straw through the wad of buttery, garlicky wad of drywall paste it had transubstantiated into in my mouth and started sucking as hard as I could. The liquid, thankfully, started to dissolve it and I swallowed it down like a spider sucking out the innards of a fly.

  I suddenly wasn't very hungry anymore.

  "Well, this is fun," I managed to croak out through my raspy, biscuit scraped vocal chords.

  "Watchin' ya eat…tis interestin' ta be sure."

  Chapter 11

  My belly looked like I was heavy with child. Thankfully it was just a food baby. I'd devoured my ultimate shrimp feast, and part of Jimmy's. If I were more comfortable with Derek, I might have stolen more of his, too. After all that, there was the brownie with ice cream. The waitress even brought three spoons like I was going to share it. She was cute, but stupid.

  I groaned in the passenger seat of my SUV, wanting nothing more than to get home, strip naked, and curl up in my nice warm bed. My groans elicited a couple of chuckles from Jimmy and Derek. Dar ignored me. I walked back to the car without a steak for him. In penance, I texted Josie to order him something from somewhere. No shellfish.

  "Dot?"

  "Yes, Derek?"

  "I missed ya."