Snowbird Season

by B J Phillips

  There was a timid knock on the door. Kelly opened it and there stood Andi—her eyes a bit red like she might’ve been crying. Oh, great. It was difficult for Kelly to avoid reacting visibly to the sight of her. Her heart beat a little harder as she stepped aside and motioned for Andi to come in. She didn’t say anything as she shut the door behind Andi and turned for the kitchen.

  Andi stood wringing her hands. “Thanks for inviting me over. I’m sure this wasn’t easy for you. You should know this isn’t exactly comfortable for me, either.”

  “Have a seat,” Kelly said. She motioned for Andi to sit at the dinette table as she fetched two mugs of coffee and the cream and sugar.

  Kelly sat down, looking at Andi. She waited while Andi kept staring at her coffee mug. “I’m listening.”

  Andi took a sip of her coffee and swallowed hard. “I was married,” she blurted out.

  “What? When?” Kelly’s eyes widened, she looked out the window for a second, then her head snapped back to look at Andi, her brows furrowed. “Wait, you said ‘was married,’ didn’t you?”

  “Yes. I did. I’m now divorced.”

  “Wow! You were married while you were here before?”

  “I was. I came down here thinking the time away would be good and she’d miss me. I’m ready to tell you what happened now, if you want to hear the whole sordid story.”

  “If you want to tell me, I’ll listen.” Kelly picked up her mug and leaned back against the bench as she took a sip of coffee. “Go ahead.”

  Andi looked down at her own mug, then back up at Kelly. “I fell in love with Jo when she came into a gallery I was working in several years ago, back before I bought it out and made it what it is now. Jo’s an artist. You may have heard of her, JoAnne Duncan.”

  “Actually, I have heard of her. Duncan’s picture is in People magazine almost as often as Ellen DeGeneres. Unfortunately, she’s as infamous for her womanizing as she’s famous for her paintings and sculptures. No one would’ve guessed she was in a relationship.”

  “Almost everyone has heard of her. She wasn’t only in a relationship with me, we were married. I know I shouldn’t have married her, knowing what she was like. I fell completely in love and I thought being married might make her settle down. After all, it was Jo who proposed.”

  “It’s hard to believe someone like that would propose marriage to anyone. I’m even more surprised your wedding wasn’t highly publicized, like everything else she does.”

  “We kept it low key, believe it or not. It was a courthouse thing in Pennsylvania. To this day, I’ve no idea why she wanted to marry me. She still treated me the same way as before; unfortunately, after the wedding we were legally bound.”

  “Then why in the world did you stay with her? What could’ve possibly made you want to be treated like that?”

  “I still loved her,” Andi said in a near whisper, looking down at her cup before looking up into Kelly’s eyes. “It took a while before I finally realized that Jo’s kind of love wasn’t what I wanted or needed any more. I told her I was leaving and I came down to Florida to stay with Aunt Elise while I sorted out in my head what to do next. At first, I thought physical distance would be enough for me to see the situation more clearly. I’m sure now that there was a part of me that thought that possibly Jo and I could work things out. That maybe she’d realize she wanted me.”

  “I’m sorry. I knew you were going through a bad situation.” Kelly shook her head. “It’s obvious now that it was much worse than you let on.”

  “I guess I thought on some level that it was sort of a trial separation to try to get her attention. It turned into a permanent separation right after I met you. I guess I hoped she’d miss me and come running. I thought she’d at least call me and try to get me back. She didn’t.”

  “She didn’t contact you at all?”

  “Only to text me that she wanted a divorce.”

  “That’s really cold.”

  “There’s more. Aunt Elise didn’t know anything about us being married. I hid it from her. That should’ve said something about the relationship, huh?”

  “I’d say so.” Kelly took a sip of her coffee. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that. You deserve better. Why did you go back suddenly like you did?”

  Andi put her mug down and crossed her arms, leaning against them on the table. “Look, I like you a lot. I was afraid if I stayed any longer that I’d want to do something I didn’t feel I had the right to do. I shouldn’t have kissed you that night on the beach. Had you kissed me again, I’d have wanted more from you than that little kiss. I could tell. And I didn’t have the right to drag you into that whole divorce situation.”

  “You know what? I would’ve been fine with being there for you. At least you could’ve told me what was going on. Instead, you let me think you’d decided to run back to New York and had kicked me to the curb.”

  “Look, I’m really, really sorry I did that to you.” Andi reached across the table and gently placed her hand on Kelly’s. She looked up into Kelly’s eyes. “You have no idea how sorry I am. At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought it was the only thing to do. I wanted to be free to come back and see if we had a chance together. I guess, at the time, I wasn’t thinking that there might be nothing to come back to because of what I did.”

  Kelly withdrew her hand. “I pretty much gave up on you. You didn’t even return a text message. You don’t do that to a friend, Andi. What actually made the sudden exit necessary?”

  “Like I said, I’d originally hoped Jo would come around and realize that she truly loved me. Instead, Jo texted me that she wanted a divorce. It happened while I was talking to you about setting up the coffee and dessert thing for the three of us…me, you and Aunt Elise, I mean. We never did do that. I can’t remember why.”

  “Now I understand. That explains why you sounded funny. I wondered what happened. You seemed fine and suddenly you seemed ‘not fine.’ It was clear you didn’t want to talk about it. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “To tell you the truth, I felt that I would’ve had to tell Aunt Elise the truth as well. I’d hidden our marriage from her. She only knew that we were living together in a relationship, and she wasn’t thrilled about that. She didn’t care for Jo at all.”

  “I don’t blame her, if Jo wasn’t treating you well.”

  “She didn’t know Jo and I had problems. No one did. We kept it all lovey in front of others and almost everyone we knew thought we had this perfect life. Of course, by then, most of ‘our’ friends were her friends. She’d managed to get me to cut myself off from most of my own.”

  “Then what made Elise dislike Jo? I mean, it seems to me she’d like anyone who made you happy, if you seemed happy to her.”

  “One would think so. I don’t know why, but Aunt Elise never liked her from day one. Every time I tried to pin her down on why she felt like she did, she’d say she didn’t know exactly. She just didn’t care for her. She invited us over for dinner and holidays and was friendly enough to her. I don’t think I could describe her demeanor as warm, though. She isn’t into being a phony.”

  “I gather she isn’t. I like Elise. She’s quite an interesting woman.”

  “She likes you, too. She’s said so on several occasions.” Andi smiled. “And now, every time she looks at those new bookcases, she just smiles. I think she likes you even more every time she sees them.”

  “Ah, there’s that smile I liked to see. Elise does seem to be a good judge of character, as it turns out, at least in your case. So, where do you stand with her? Now that your divorce is final, does she know you were married?”

  “Yes, finally, officially, I’m a free woman. I broke down and told Aunt Elise at Christmas. She knew people who knew people and my divorce got fast-tracked. She’s very happy that whole thing’s over, and so am I.”

  “Well, that’s good. So, what’s next?”

  “I’m relieved to say that Aunt Elise doesn’t have a
ny issue with us being friends,” Andi said, looking back into Kelly’s eyes. “Or more than friends, for that matter.”

  “Oh, really?” Kelly frowned. “And what makes you or Elise think I might be interested in still being friends with you or more than that, either, after you left me high and dry for all these months. You have to admit that wasn’t at all a polite thing to do.”

  “Again, you have no idea how sorry I am that I did that. I didn’t know if you even cared for me. And it was better for my divorce to be seen alone and lonely and upset. And that’s exactly what they saw.”

  “You mean, it was easier for you to face your friends without someone like me around, who wouldn’t have fit in and would’ve started the rumor mill going?” Kelly sat back in the bench, her arms crossed and face impassive.

  “Absolutely not. That wasn’t the idea at all. In the beginning, I was going to try to get my divorce alone, and hide it from Aunt Elise. If I’d told you about it, I would’ve had to tell her. It would only have been fair. And I didn’t want to. I really didn’t.”

  “I still don’t understand why you didn’t just tell her what was going on. Your aunt loves you very much and would’ve understood.”

  “I know this sounds stupid. It’s because I’d never hidden anything from her before. Ever. Even as a kid, I couldn’t hide anything from her. My marriage was the only thing I’d ever kept from her and I felt awful.”

  Kelly took a deep breath before nodding in response. “I bet you did.” She put her elbows back on the table and reached for her coffee mug.

  “I had to tell her that I had married Jo without her knowing about it, and that I was getting a divorce, at the same time. I thought that made me sound like such an idiot and a failure, too.”

  “One question. How…did you manage to hide it from her? I mean, you live in the same city. You saw each other fairly often. Didn’t Jo give it away? She must’ve been proud of marrying you and told people. Seems like it would’ve gotten back to her somehow, or you or Jo would’ve slipped up and let the cat out of the bag.”

  “First of all, it’s New York. Very big city. We were only living together as married for a couple of years. Our routine never changed, we didn’t make any big announcement, and our friends were sworn to secrecy to keep it out of the press. In that time, we both went to Aunt Elise’s only a few times. Mostly I went alone.”

  “How come she didn’t go, too?”

  “Jo always seemed to have a ‘thing’ to attend.” Andi held her fingers in the air like quotation marks. “She’d say it was important for me to spend time with my aunt and I didn’t need to go to whatever it was she was attending. She’d say it was simply some boring reception or whatever.”

  “Uh, huh…I can hear a ‘but’ coming.”

  “You’re right. The next day, I’d see pictures in the paper of some fundraiser or art show or something and there she’d be,” Andi paused as she slowly shook her head, “all dressed up in a tux with a couple of gorgeous women hanging on her.”

  “And that didn’t make you mad? I’d have been livid.”

  “Of course, I was upset. I went to some of those events, too. Despite my presence, they still hung all over her. They did it with me standing right there. I should’ve known she was drawing them in. It wasn’t just them, it was her, too.”

  “I’m sorry to say this, but you’re probably right. If she had been truly monogamous, she would’ve been sending out very different energy. Plus, standing there close to you and holding your hand would’ve sent a very different message as well. I’m guessing that’s not what she was doing.”

  “We always walked in together. Shortly after that, she’d say how she had to work the room for business. And there I’d be, on my own. I know people, obviously, and always had lots of them to talk to. To be honest, I always thought she only brought me occasionally because she thought she had to, never because she wanted to.” Andi looked down at her hands. “That’s what I told her in my divorce papers.”

  “And she didn’t deny any of it?”

  “Nope. In fact, she never said a word. She let the whole thing go through her attorney and mine, and it was over without another word between us. We haven’t spoken since I left her. As I told you, she even texted me to say she was filing for divorce.”

  “I’m sorry. Really. That was very, very cold of her.”

  “I’m sorry, too. Sorry for several things,” Andi said.

  “Like what? Doesn’t sound like you did anything to be sorry for.”

  “I’m sorry I got involved with someone who didn’t love me, for one. I wasted a lot of time with someone who didn’t care about me.”

  “That happens. I bet it happens a lot. It’s how we learn, I guess.”

  “Maybe, but I’m really sorry I actually married her. With emphasis on the ‘really’ part.”

  “Yeah, that pretty much stinks. You definitely made a mistake there.”

  “I’m very sorry I treated you badly because I was trying to cover up what I’d done.” Andi looked at her hands again.

  “Are you trying to apologize to me for that?”

  “Trying to.” Andi looked up with the beginning of a little hopeful smile.

  “I’m not sure I’m ready to accept your apology. Just because someone treated you badly doesn’t give you the right to do it to someone else. You can’t simply walk right back in and pretend that it hasn’t been months since you had any contact with me and like you didn’t ignore my phone messages and texts.”

  “I know.” The words were barely audible.

  “I’m sorry you were treated like you were. That was nasty. I hate to say this, but in a way, you let it happen to you. You could’ve left her any time. You stayed. It’s not like you didn’t have any place else to go.”

  “I know.”

  “I guess I simply don’t understand how someone could kiss me at the beach then a few hours later run off without a word.”

  “I…”

  “For months.”

  “That was bad.”

  “You know it was. You made me think it was all a mistake and you were only playing around. I started assuming that you’d gone back to Jo and didn’t feel like telling me. So that’s what I’ve had to deal with. That, combined with feeling like I didn’t mean anything to you…even as a friend. You’ll forgive me if I don’t immediately say it’s all okay and pretend like nothing happened.”

  “Of course not. I mean, I know I hurt you. I explained what happened. I’d hoped that you’d understand.”

  “I understand. I can’t quite forgive you for how you treated me yet. It’s going to take more than a few minutes sitting here with you. How do I know you aren’t just using me?”

  “Using you?”

  “Look, I didn’t mean to feel anything for you other than friendship. Obviously, my heart didn’t listen and it happened anyway. Even a friend wouldn’t have done what you did. But someone who wanted more than that definitely wouldn’t have shut me out without any explanation.” Kelly shook her head and got up and began pacing the kitchen. “Really? What did you think I’d feel?”

  “I guess I was so caught up in my own misery that I didn’t think much about how you were feeling. Again, I’m so sorry. I feel like crap for doing that to you.”

  “I know you’re sorry. I get that. Forgiving you is another thing altogether. I need time to think this over and to see that you really want a relationship with me. I won’t just say everything’s fine so you can run off and live your life and forget about it. If you really do want to be part of my life, as a friend or otherwise, I need to see that you mean it.”

  Andi slid out of the booth, stood up next to the table, and took one of Kelly’s hands in both of hers. She looked at their hands. “Kelly, I never ever intended to hurt you. Please believe I didn’t mean to…” She looked directly into Kelly’s eyes. “I won’t be around here all the time. I can’t right now.”

  Kelly slowly withdrew her hand. “Look, we can take it slowly
and try to reestablish being friends. There’s a catch, though. I need to know that you don’t plan to take off without a word again.”

  “I promise I’ll never do that to you again. If I must leave in a hurry for some reason, I’ll at least text you and let you know what’s going on. I’ll never purposely avoid your calls or texts. I have no other secrets to hide and I want to prove to you that I want you in my life. If you’ll only be my friend, friend it is.”

  A little tear escaped from Andi’s right eye, then sat on her cheek. Kelly resisted the impulse to reach out and brush it away. “How long are you going to be here this time?”

  “A couple of weeks. Kind of a ‘yay, I’m divorced’ vacation. Do you think we could do something together? We never did play miniature golf.”

  “Let me think about it. I’m tied up tomorrow. The next day is possible. How about I call you and see what we can work out?”

  “Do you still have my number?”

  “You called me. It’s in my phone.”

  “Oh, yeah. Sorry, brain hiccup.” She grinned, a sheepish look. “I guess I’d better go. I’ll wait for you to call me.” Andi reached for Kelly’s hand again and held it. “The next move is yours. If I don’t hear from you before I go back, I’ll assume you aren’t interested. I hope you’ll call me. I’ve missed you and I’ve thought about you every day since I left.”

  “I’ll call you. Give me a little time to digest what you’ve told me.” Kelly slowly withdrew her hand. She knew she was hurting Andi and she didn’t want to. She had to force herself not to grab her and hold her, but this had been too much to take in without thinking about it. No matter how much she wanted to believe her, she couldn’t jump back in there until she was positive that Andi meant what she was saying.