by Sierra Hill
I reach for him, desperate to alleviate the tension that’s grown in place of the happiness that was just there.
“This doesn’t have to end us, you know,” my hand covering his wrist. “What we have between us is so important to me, Deacon. I don’t ever want to lose you.”
He wrenches his arm away suddenly, standing in a rush and removing his wallet from his pocket. My eyes prickle with tears as he drops two twenties on the table, more than enough to cover our dinner and a tip and turns to go.
“I’m ready to get out of here.” His voice bristles with anger, a mixture of confusion and sadness.
It’s very rare to witness Deacon in a bad mood, so his abrupt outburst surprises me. Cuts me to the bone. Rips my heart to shreds.
I try to grab his wrist to keep him there, to explain everything, but he shrugs it off and walks away. As he makes it to the door, just feet away, he stops and turns, as if remembering his manners. He waits, impatience radiating from his tense body, holding the door open with this arm as an older couple walk through from outside.
My chair legs scrape across the concrete floor and I slowly rise, following behind him out the door to the car.
Maybe this was always bound to happen, and he’s finally had enough of my shenanigans.
Maybe there is a limit to friendship and Deacon has finally met his.
Chapter 16
Deacon
I haven’t talked to Ellie in two days. That’s honestly the longest we’ve ever gone without talking.
It’s not that she hasn’t tried reaching out, but I’ve been stubborn and have ignored her attempts to appease me. Making an excuse that I’ve been under the weather, I scheduled Elle and Cody to open and close the store in my absence, and I’ve either remained in bed or taken my kayak out on the water to get away from everything.
Unfortunately, I can’t escape my thoughts or my feelings toward Elle. My Ellie Belly. The woman I’m in love with and have been for years.
Why does this have to happen now? Just when things were heating up between us? After I’ve divulged my true feelings and opened up about my love for her. After I laid it all out on the line and exposed my beating heart for her.
Maybe it’s time I finally let her go.
Our timing has always sucked, and I can’t seem to make it work. It didn’t happen in high school. It didn’t happen in college. And it apparently, it doesn’t work for us now, either.
“I thought I’d find you out here.”
I’m facing the ocean from the beach, watching the waves wash up on shore, as Cody’s voice from behind me brings me out of my suffering reverie.
He props up his surf board in the sand and plops down next to me, gangly legs stretched out in front of him.
“Dude,” his gravelly voice is tinged with worry. “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you about me and Bethany. I hope you don’t hate me.”
I nearly choke on my laughter. Thank God Cody is always good for some comic relief.
Swiveling my head to the left, I give him a once over. The panic on his face is kind of funny.
“Oh, shit. You’re not gonna fire me, are you?”
Shaking my head, I give him a sympathetic smile. “No, Cody. I’m not going to fire you because you’re hooking up with Bethany. That’s been over for a long time and was never anything serious. We’re cool, bud.”
His relief is palpable, a large breath of air gushing out his mouth. But just as he seems to realize his love life isn’t my concern and his job isn’t in jeopardy, his expression turns to confusion.
“So, wait. If that’s not the problem, what is? You seem pretty doom and gloom right now, bruh.”
“Yeah, I guess so. It happens.” I lift a shoulder up and down.
Although there’s only a six-year age difference between us, I feel like an old man next to Cody, having lived through the heartbreak of rejection.
Cody picks at a scab on his knee, as the waves crash three feet from where we sit, the tide inching closer and closer this time of day. The sun is slowly dropping in the west, melting into the horizon, leaving us once again until the new day dawns.
He clears his throat, his question thoughtful and sincere. “Is it Ellie, then? You got a thing for her?”
I nod. “You could say that.”
“Women, bro. They can really fuck you up in the head. Great sex, but damn if they don’t confuse the shit out of me.”
Laughing at his commentary, I agree with a slap of my palm against the back of his shoulder. “You’re not alone, dude. They are confusing as fuck, but damn if we can’t live without them.”
Cody snorts. “Well we could if we were gay.”
A burst of laughter escapes my chest and I fall back against the sand. Cody’s comments always have a way of in sighting amusement because he’s just that kind of guy. Half-dopey, half lazy, but always genuine.
Standing up, I brush the grains of sand from my ass and zip up my wet suit. Tipping my chin toward the water, I invite Cody to tag along.
“Want to catch some waves with me?”
He smiles broadly and jumps to his feet with the speed that only a nineteen-year-old can possess. “Right on, bro. Let’s do this.”
We spend two hours in the water together, catching a few sets, and just enjoying the silencing peace that only Mother Nature can provide. Waving goodbye to Cody, he heads off to shower and then start his shift. Which means that Ellie will be off and hopefully at home.
I stop at the pizza shop on my way home, ordering a monstrous sized pepperoni and mushroom with hot peppers. My stomach rumbles with the smell of it wafting through the car as I remember I haven’t eaten at all today and worked up an appetite surfing.
Much to my surprise, as I turn the corner down my street, I notice a car in my driveway. Specifically, Ellie’s car.
I take a fortifying breath as I ease into park, grabbing the pizza from the front seat and opening my door to step out. My eyes scan the front of the house where I lock gazes with Elle who’s sitting on the front porch with her knees drawn up to her chin, arms wrapped in a hug around her legs.
She looks like she did when she was eighteen, waiting at my door to congratulate me on receiving the All-State award and scholarship. But back then, she was cheerful and happy when I approached her.
Today, she is pensive but beautiful. Her shoulder-length dark hair falls loosely at her shoulders, partially covering her face until she brushes it out of the way and stands. I stride toward her, holding the pizza box in both hands as a protective shield. The armor I need to keep myself from reaching out and enfolding her in my arms.
Stand your ground, dude.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” I acknowledge, retrieving the housekey from my pocket and unlocking the front door. “Want to come in for some pizza?”
“If I hadn’t shown up, would you have eaten that whole thing yourself?”
She asks this like she doesn’t know me.
“Well, duh. Have you not seen me scarf a whole pie down in all the time we’ve known each other?”
Her laughter fills my kitchen as we enter the house and it cuts my heart like a knife.
“Touché.”
Ellie grabs two plates from my cupboard, as she’s done a thousand times before, and I place some napkins on the table. This is natural. Easy. The two of us together, side-by-side.
We both take a seat and I open up the box, an uncomfortable silence filling the space between us.
I hold firm and allow her to do the talking by stuffing my face with a piece of pizza.
She picks at the pepperoni slices, moving them around so they don’t overlap as she carefully removes the mushrooms which I know she hates. After our swim meets in high school, we’d go out for pizza with the team, but sometimes the three of us, and I’d tease her unmercifully about her peculiar way of eating pizza. She’d always shrug and just give me her mushrooms to eat. A symbol of our friendship and her devotion.
“I’m sorry, Deacon. I�
��m a big asshole. I’ve been such a selfish and a horrible friend.”
I grimace at the term friend.
I don’t want to be just friends anymore.
I want more.
When I look up from my pizza slice, she’s staring at me, her wild green eyes filling with unshed tears. Part of me wants to take her in my arms and hold her tight, making sure she knows she’s loved, and all is forgiven. That all. I want is the best for her.
On the other hand, she’s hurt me by minimizing what we’ve started and by not prioritizing our relationship or me by jumping into an out-of-state job without even batting an eye. Making a decision without considering my feelings toward her.
“You’re not a big asshole. Just a small one.”
She slugs me in the arm with a sarcastic huff but then turns serious again.
“I’m sorry I didn’t consider your feelings when I accepted the job. I was just so excited about being offered this position and wanting to get back on my feet again, I just jumped at the chance. But Deacon, here’s the thing. I want both you and the job.”
Her words fill my heart and head with hope, but it’s dashed with the simple fact that the job is four hours away and in a different state. We were separated for two years when she was still in school, and I hated the long-distance.
I keep my mouth shut, allowing her to continue what she came here to say.
Pushing back her chair, she stands and moves forward toward me. She cups my jaw in her hands, tipping my head back to look at her. When I stare into her eyes, I see my future.
“I love you, too, Deacon. So much more than I ever thought I could. Your friendship is everything to me, but you’re so much more now. I don’t want to leave you or try to have a long-distance relationship. That’s why I asked the recruiter if they’d allow me to telecommute. And they said yes.”
She smiles broadly and then bites her lip, waiting for this to sink in for me.
“Wait, what does that mean?”
Ellie swings a leg over my lap and straddles me, then dips her head to kiss me. I open immediately, finding her tongue and sucking it into my mouth. She tastes so good and I’ve missed not having her in my arms, which have slipped around her waist and landed on her tight ass.
When she pulls back, I smirk at the dazed look on her face and her wet and swollen lips that I just claimed.
“It means, Deacon Powell, that I’m yours. I’m here to stay. It means, I love you and want to continue seeing where this relationship goes.”
She’s mine.
A deep growl escapes my chest as I lift her in my arms and begin moving us through the hallway and toward my bedroom, feeling joy from her elated shrieks.
Dropping her across my bed, I whip off my shirt and stare down at my best friend -turned-lover.
“I’ll show you where this goes for us, baby. And I think you’re gonna like it.”
The End
Epilogue
One-year later
“Did you pack the chips and sandwiches?”
I give my boyfriend a hugely sarcastic eye roll and wave the cooler in front of me, pulling out all the necessary items for our day at the beach.
“Of course, I did, silly, along with your favorite pickles, orange slices, and homemade peanut butter, chocolate chip cookies. Who’s the best girlfriend ever?”
Deacon finishes untying the two-person kayak from the top of his car roof, sliding it with ease down to the ground and propping it up against the back of the car.
“My Ellie-belly-full-of-jelly is the best girlfriend in the world.” In two steps, he stands behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, picking me off the ground and swinging me wildly.
“You know I hate it when you call me that,” I argue, even though my comment has no teeth and is all bluster.
His voice is low and deep at my ear. “No, you don’t. You like it. And I like getting you all riled up. It’s so sexy.”
Deacon sets me down, placing a light kiss on the top of my head as he hoists the kayak over his head, and we make our way down the secluded path to the beach.
Today is our one-year anniversary and we decided to celebrate with a little R&R in our favorite spot up the coast.
The past year with Deacon has been the most amazing experience as we’ve gotten to know each other in a whole new way. I thought I knew everything there was to know about Deacon before when we were friends but becoming his girlfriend has opened my eyes to so many other aspects of his personality.
For instance, his favorite time of day to make love is in the morning. He’s considerate to let me sleep as he goes out for a run or a swim before dawn, returning home to shower and then brings me my coffee. From there, he’ll slip in bed beside me and do wild things with his hands and mouth.
Another fun fact about Deacon is that he’s a snuggler. I always knew he was a touchy-feely kind of guy before this, but when we’re at home, just the two of us on the couch watching TV, he’ll burrow underneath the blanket with me and hold me tight.
It’s every girl’s dream.
One more important tidbit I’ve learned is that Deacon doesn’t fight fair. We’ve only had two disagreements in the past year; but when they occurred, he threw me for a loop with his warfare tactics.
While I burst into hysterics and yell and shout to get my point across, Deacon remains quietly reflective, listening to me spew my arguments, until I’ve finally said piece and the anger fizzled out. Once that happens, he strips himself naked and does the same to me.
The first time this happened, I fought and clawed to get out of his hold, but once he had me undressed, he pointed out the obvious, holding me in his arms protectively close.
“Ellie, you and I are built differently. But even so, we seem to miraculously fit together in all the best ways. And let me tell you, I love the way ours fit when I make love to you. But that doesn’t mean I’ll understand you or you’ll understand me all the time.”
He took my hand, then, and placed it over his heart, where I felt it thumping wildly in his chest.
“Regardless of our differences, my heart beats for you. It’ll always beat for you, Ellie.”
At that point, I was so confused by the way he’d turned our argument on its head by getting us naked, I completely forgot what we were fighting over, and we made love right on the kitchen floor.
That’s what Deacon does to me.
He can soothe and cool all my fiery angst with just the easy liquid vibrato of his voice and turn me inside out with his warm, dangerously-sexy smile. And he melts my heart with the things he says.
“How’s this spot?”
I drop the cooler and bags we brought with us in the spot Deacon points at. It’s a nice secluded space on the beach with the Pacific coastline stretched out before us, overlooking the haystack rock formations in the water.
After organizing our camping site and starting a beach fire, we sit crossed legged on our blankets side-by-side and watch the sun slowly set into the horizon. It’s perfect, peaceful and all I could ever dream of.
“Hey Ellie?” Deacon asks quietly, shifting on the blanket so that he’s looking at me directly.
“Yeah, babe?”
“Will you open the cooler and get me out a sandwich?”
I shift my gaze to the cooler sitting off to the side and sit up, scooting over to reach for it.
Upon opening the lid, I peer down into the food I packed to find something I most certainly didn’t put in there earlier.
It’s a small blue box.
A ring box, to be exact.
My mouth drops open before I snap it shut, and I swing my head over my shoulder, only to find Deacon has moved to my side, kneeling, a nervous smile perched across his mouth.
“Ellie Diane Green, will you…”
I throw my arms around his neck and nearly strangle him in my attempt to express my excitement.
“Yes, yes, yes!”
Peppering him with kisses, I send us toppling over onto the sand, as I wi
nd up straddling him, his hands keeping me upright on my hips.
“Of course, I’ll marry you!”
His eyebrow shoots up and he notches his face curiously.
“Um, Ellie? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I was only asking for my sandwich.”
I slap at his chest playfully. “Argh! You’re such a jerk! I take it back. I don’t want to marry you.”
Suddenly, I’m lying on my back, Deacon flipping me over and switching our positions in a blink of an eye. His lips twitch with a smile as I cross my arms over my chest in a huff, pretending that I’m mad.
“Ellie Diane Green,” he begins more solemnly and with sincerity. He slowly uncrosses my arms and holds our hands between us. “You’re my best friend and the one I love with all my heart. I can’t remember what my life even looked like before you and I never want to experience a day without you. Will you marry me?”
What else could I possibly say?
He’s my best friend, the light in my life.
I’d already given him my heart. Now I was ready to hand him my future.
Acknowledgments
Thanks, first and foremost, to my friend Verlene Landon who spearheaded this friends-to-lovers collective and championed it along the way. It took over a year and a half to finally come to fruition, but I’m so happy to be included in The Escaping the Friend Zone group of novellas. If you haven’t read the others, find the links at the end of this book.
To my lovely and helpful beta readers, Christine and Monica. Thank you for making time to give this book a thorough read through and providing me all the helpful tips on making Ellie and Deacon’s story come to life.
My ARC team - I love you all!
Lastly, to my husband. Had we not started out as friends way back in the day, I wouldn’t have ended up with the most wonderful husband in the world. I’ve had to put up with a lot of teasing and good-natured ribbing from you over the years, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.