by J Marie
moving in for the kill.
“I don’t want to ruin this by disrupting your optimism, but I hope I don’t have to
discuss with you the consequences of disappointing me while we’re in public,” he
said, his face stern, but there was a hint of regret in his eyes. He seemed like he
really did want me to enjoy this.
“No, there’s no need,” I said, shaking my head for emphasis. I knew exactly
what would happen if I fucked up. No explanation necessary.
He sighed, seemingly satisfied with my answer, and relaxed. “Good girl,” he said
with a small smile and kissed me on the forehead. “Then, let’s go.”
He placed his hand on the small of my back and led me out the door to the two
black idling Range Rovers. One of the guards opened the door to the last SUV,
allowing Darren to usher me in while he slid in after me.
The drive to Anchorage had me more excited than I wanted to admit. I had
mentally discussed with myself that there would be no thoughts of escape or
pushing Darren’s leniency. I would use this as an exercise to gain his trust. If I
could get through this sans fuck-ups, then maybe he would let me out more often.
And then I could really make my move without being suspected of it.
I silently bounced my knee while wringing my gloved hands in my lap, my
mouth quickly becoming dry as I stared out the window, anxious as fuck. A few
moments later, I felt Darren’s hand press down on my knee, promptly stopping it
from bouncing.
“Relax, Jaden. Everything will be fine,” he said, a slight laugh leaving his lips.
Suddenly, I felt myself wishing to be back inside my room, hidden away from the
potential disaster this event could turn out to be.
Breathe, Jaden. You’ve got this. You’re not ceramic. You’re fucking steel.
43
OUT
By the time we got to the town, I felt calm enough as we parked on what seemed
like the main street of the city and got out.
Taking my hand in his, Darren had a slight smile on his face as we began to walk
the street.
“What are we doing?” I asked, suddenly wanting to know everything so nothing
would surprise me.
“I thought you might like to walk the town and see it for yourself,” he said
genuinely.
“Okay,” I said quietly.
For the next hour, Darren and I walked the streets of downtown Anchorage,
drinking in the atmosphere of their beautiful winter wonderland. The city’s
Christmas decorations still lingered over the streetlights and businesses,
Christmas lights strung everywhere with a giant lit up and highly decorated
Christmas tree in the center of the city. Seeing the mountains in the background of
the city had me wanting to do all kinds of wilderness exploring, even with my latest
near-death experience. I was confident that should a threat arise, it wouldn’t last
long around Darren. I hated how comforting I found that. I didn’t want to rely on
Darren for anything, least of all my safety.
With all the surrounding mountains, it made me curious of their ski lifts. I was
sure those mountains had some excellent powder to snowboard down, but with my
recent injuries that probably wasn’t possible right now. I might be fully recovered,
but it had been a while since I snowboarded, and I didn’t want to jeopardize
anything just yet.
As we walked, I tried hard not to stare at the people, looking at just the buildings
and scenery. When I was able to lose myself in it, the entire scene was simply
breathtaking. The mountains surrounding us were everything I thought they would
be and more. But then I’d feel a slight tug on my arm and remember where I really
was. Darren held my hand the entire time, never letting up on his tight grip, but I
did notice the slight decrease in speed of his typical walking pace. I normally
walked the same pace he did, but I appreciated his slowing down to allow me to
enjoy the city. With the number of times I wasn’t looking ahead of me, it would
have been very easy for me to trip over myself and stumble into something.
I could feel my personal guards, as well as Scott and the other remaining guards
behind us. They traveled at a respectful distance, not wanting to appear obvious as
a security entourage. I appreciated their discretion and the fact that Darren was
allowing it. It was almost as if it was just the two of us out for a stroll, or hell, even a
date.
As the sun went down shortly after four p.m., a light snowfall had begun to fall
over the city, adding to the magic that made Anchorage a special gem to cherish.
And for some reason, it only made me sad. The entire time, I fought to ignore the
fact I was finally out in the open. I was being seen by people who had no idea I was a
walking ghost, that I was once a missing girl who was later found dead in the back
of an alley in downtown Detroit. No one here knew that. No one recognized me or
barely even looked at me for that matter. And to be honest, I was glad. I didn’t want
a scene. I didn’t want anything to happen that would affect the safety of my family.
I despised that Darren was still able to hold them over my head, but at least, he was
no longer hunting every single one of them. Just the ones who had actually foiled
his plans and escaped him.
“So what do you think?” Darren asked me as we walked along the outside path
of Delaney Park.
“It’s beautiful. Thank you for letting me see it.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, but there was a hint of smugness hidden in his tone.
“Come on; let’s step in here for a minute.”
Darren pulled us into what seemed like a small pet store, the door ringing as we
stepped inside to signal our entrance. He leisurely led me over to the section of the
store containing all the collars and told me to pick one. But as I looked over all the
collars, my fingers couldn’t help but casually tap against the one around my throat.
Why was he making me do this? Why hadn’t he just picked one out himself as he
had for everything else that might be considered mine? Why did giving me the
choice of selecting the collar matter so much to him? It felt like a cruel slap in the
face.
Gazing over the large selection, I had a hard time figuring out what to pick out
for my dog. There were collars of all different sizes and colors, some with spikes
and some with bows. Eventually, I finally decided on a sparkly silver one with little
rhinestones around the center.
“Really? That’s the one you want?” Darren asked, his eyebrows raised in obvious
surprise.
“The irony is not lost on me, Darren. It only makes sense that Camaro’s collar
should match my own,” I said boldly.
Darren stepped closer to me, his anger becoming evident. Luckily, we were the
only two in the store and we were well hidden by the numerous shelves around us.
“Are you trying to push me right now?” he asked, his voice low but still just as
menacing.
“Not even a little bit. But you are certainly trying to push me with this, and it’s
not fair.”
Darren stepped even closer, his hand wrapping around my arm in a tight
warning grip and lowered his lips to my ea
r. “When are you going to get over the
idea that I’ll ever be fair to you? You’ll live your life as I see fit, and I’m beyond the
point of caring how unfair you think that is. Now, stop complaining and pick out a
damn tag for Camaro.”
I huffed my sigh as he returned to his full height, and I focused on not rolling my
eyes as I searched through the tags next to the collars. Not giving a damn anymore,
I picked the typical metal bone-shaped tag and handed it, along with the collar, to
Darren. He took my selections to the front counter and had Camaro’s name
engraved onto the metal. I kept my mouth shut, and my eyes unfocused as Darren
answered the clerk’s questions and paid for everything.
When we left the store, he handed the bag to one of the guards who waited
outside, and we carried on our way, my hand still stuck in Darren’s. We walked back
to the SUV and took off again, and even though I wanted to ask where we were
going now, I stayed quiet. My answer eventually came when we pulled in front of a
nice restaurant with a beautiful view of Knik Arm and the mountains beyond it.
Darren ushered me out of the SUV and led me inside where we seated at a private
table in the back that allowed for the best view. The guards and Scott stood off to
the side, almost surrounding our table and naturally making me uncomfortable. It
felt like they were garnering unnecessary attention that I didn’t want. My heart was
racing, and I couldn’t stop myself from glancing from table to table as people stared
at us. My knee started to bounce against under the table.
“What’s wrong now?” Darren asked, his voice hinting at his annoyance.
“Everyone is staring,” I murmured under my breath.
“And you’re concerned by this because?”
“I’m just … not used to that.”
Darren shifted in his seat, leaning forward to place his forearms on the table.
“You’ll get used to it.” His voice was clipped and stern, and it was making me
uneasy.
A few short moments later, a group of waiters showed up and placed two plates
down in front of Darren and me. They also poured us each a glass of white wine and
placed the bottle in the ice bucket before leaving us alone.
I stared down at the grilled salmon, green beans, and redskins, confused as to
when I had ordered anything and looked at Darren for an answer.
“I had everything ordered before we got here,” he answered, noticing my
confusion.
“Oh,” I replied, ignoring the fact that even when we went out, I still didn’t get to
choose what I ate.
Thankfully, dinner was delicious anyway. It felt so strange being seen again,
being so exposed. There was so much hustle and bustle going on around me.
Between the people dining and socializing behind us, and the scenery above, it was
more stimulus than I was used to, and for some reason, it made me nervous. It felt
like every single eye was on me; whether they were Darren’s or his guards or the
people around us, it didn’t matter. It was nerve wracking, and it made it difficult for
me to eat. Again.
Halfway through my dinner, I felt sick, like I couldn’t hold another bite down.
And the idea of asking to use the public restroom absolutely tormented me.
“You don’t look well,” Darren commented from across the table.
“I don’t feel well,” I confirmed. “Can I use the restroom?”
Darren glared at me for a moment, sighing through his nose before finally
nodding. The warning in his eyes left me nearly shaking as I stood from the table.
Hesitantly turning away, my guards followed me to the restroom, standing just
outside the door as I locked myself in a stall. Thankfully, the restroom was empty,
giving me the opportunity to let go.
Bending down to the floor, I threw up everything I’d just ate, my body shaking
from the chills that came over me. When I was done, and my stomach was empty, I
flushed the toilet and sat on the lid to regain my composure. It wasn’t long before I
felt myself begin to hyperventilate, and I had no fucking clue what the hell was
wrong with me. Why was I reacting like this? I was finally out in the open, free of
the confines of Darren’s property, but that didn’t mean I was any less a prisoner. If
anything, I was more restricted out here than I was at his home.
If I fucked up behind the closed doors of Darren’s estate, the punishment
wouldn’t be nearly as bad if I had fucked up out in public. If I involved other people,
they would suffer because of me, and I didn’t want to jeopardize them. There were
so many opportunities to escape, so many options for me to run or call for help, but
none of them would matter. The result would still be the same. I’d end up back with
Darren and in deeper shit than I wanted to think about. I didn’t want to be out here.
I wanted to be back in the shadows where I felt safe from my own potential self-
inflicted disaster.
After a few moments of silent calm, I heard the bathroom door open, followed
by the sound of laughter and chatter from two women. I quickly did my business
and moved to the sinks to covertly wash my hands and rinse my mouth out with the
complimentary mouthwash on the counter. Looking myself in the mirror, I noticed
how pale I looked. Fuck, I was not good.
Reaching under the water, I began to rinse my hands of the soap, when another
two women walked in. The small bathroom was becoming crowded, and I hurried to
get back to Darren.
“Oh, my God. I love your bracelets! Where did you get them?” a high-pitched
shriek of a voice came from next to me. A young woman practically beamed over my
cuffs, and I quickly retracted them from the water to prevent her from noticing the
tags of ownership that were inked into my skin.
“They were a gift,” I said quietly, my voice shaking. She was the first person I
had spoken to in six months who wasn’t under Darren’s payroll.
“Well, you are a lucky girl,” the young woman said very matter-of-factly. “I
wish my husband would treat me to gifts like those.”
If only she knew…
I ignored her and snatched a breath mint from the basket in the counter of the
sink, hurrying out of the bathroom before she could observe my odd behavior
further. Popping the mint into my mouth, I found myself nearly racing back to the
table to prove to Darren that I hadn’t broken any of his rules. My guards actually
seemed to be having difficulty keeping up with me, but I couldn’t discredit them
fully. I was able to weave in and around people like no one’s business.
When I finally made it back to the table, my heart was racing, and my breathing
uneven. My eyes went straight to the table, fearful to look up at Darren. I could
already feel him brooding from across the table. I sucked on my mint and kept my
hands in my lap as I fought to keep my nerves down. This was so fucking stupid. I
didn’t understand why I was reacting like such a little bitch, but I was so fearful of
fucking up out here that I no longer felt safe. It felt like a trap, like a deliberate dark
trap meant to torment me with an idea that no longer existed for me. At least not
yet.
“You threw up, didn’t you,”
Darren finally spoke. It wasn’t a question.
I nodded, my eyes locked on the table, my body rigid with fear. I knew he didn’t
like it when I threw up my food, but when it came to my nerves, my stomach held
no ground. Darren cursed under his breath.
“Look at me,” he demanded.
Almost instantly, my eyes shot to his, the dark blue surrounding me and
reminding me why I should be afraid in the first place.
“Do you want some air?” he asked simply.
“Yes,” I said on a whisper, trying hard not to sound like I was pleading with hm.
“Come with me,” he ordered, standing up and holding out my coat for me to slip
on. I placed my arms into the coat and allowed Darren to drape it over my shoulders
before buttoning it up. My hat and gloves were next while Darren buttoned his coat.
He then took my hand and directed me to the doors that led to the restaurant’s
wrap-around balcony. Pulling me through the doors, he motioned for the guards to
stay behind inside and led me over to the railing.
Caging me in with his arms, Darren pulled me to him in a tight embrace.
“Slow, deep breaths,” he said, his voice soft and surprisingly soothing.
I did as he said, taking long, deep inhales and exhaling through my nose, filling
my lungs with the crisp cold air of the mountain. After about a minute, I felt much
calmer.
“Better?” he asked when I was noticeably calm.
“Yes, thank you.”
“Good. Now, what was going on back there?”
I had to release another breath before gaining the courage to answer.
“I just … started to panic. I’m not sure why.”
“Jaden, you were scared. What were you afraid of?”
I looked up to his face to find his features sincere, washed with concern. It gave
me the strength I needed to answer.
“I’m scared of screwing up. I’m sorry. I just don’t feel comfortable out here.
Maybe I just wasn’t ready for this yet.”
Darren sighed, his eyes glancing up before returning them to me. “Turn
around,” he said and nudged me with his shoulders.
I went with his motion, pressing my back into his chest while his hands rested
on the railing to cage me within his body. For once, I took comfort in that. I felt
shielded … protected. And it was odd that I found myself embracing that comfort.