Christmas in Chamonix

by Christmas in Chamonix (retail) (epub)

  ‘Yes, of course.’ Lily felt disappointed. They had connected so much over the fondue and Luc had seemed to really trust her to have told her such intimate details about his life. But the spell appeared to have been broken and Lily wasn’t sure if it was because of the Jamie conversation or if it had been Elodie’s phone call.

  They stepped outside into a swirl of falling snow that was settling on top of the snow already on the ground. It was starting to get dark and the view through Chamonix, filled with fairy lights everywhere, looked simply magical. Lily couldn’t help thinking that even these sorts of sights must set Luc off and remind him of Anais.

  Luc put a call into Elodie on the way back to the hotel, but there was no answer.

  ‘Let’s just get back,’ Luc said, his long legs taking great big strides through the town.

  Lily hurried alongside him, trying to keep up and feeling a flash of trepidation about what might be waiting for them at the hotel.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Back at the hotel, drama was indeed taking place. Staff were milling around, agitated, in the reception area even though it was almost time for the dinner service.

  ‘What is going on?’ Luc asked Imogen as they came through the main doors, bringing a whirl of snowflakes and chilly air with them.

  ‘Seems you’re not the only one having accidents,’ Imogen said, giving Lily a wry smile. She was dressed in the hotel sweatshirt, ready for dinner service. ‘Pierre had a horrific fall today. Oddly, it was when he was teaching on a green run and he’s broken his leg in three places. He’s been taken to the local hospital for surgery. They’re saying he might never ski again.’

  ‘Merde.’ Luc looked upset. ‘That is terrible news.’

  Imogen agreed. ‘He was demonstrating some parallel turns and his ski got caught on a lump of ice. His ski went one way and his leg went the other way.’

  Luc winced.

  Imogen continued. ‘Celine is at the hospital with Pierre and Marc has been put in charge.’ Her expression suggested that this was a terrible idea, but she refrained from further comment in front of Luc. ‘Elodie is around somewhere, but I’m not sure where.’

  ‘Thank you, Imogen.’ Luc gave her a brief nod. ‘I need to make calls. Lily, I will speak to you soon.’ He turned away, already dialling.

  ‘Will Pierre really never ski again?’ Lily felt awful for him. She might not have taken to skiing yet, but she couldn’t imagine loving something with the passion that Pierre did and it being taken away.

  ‘That’s what everyone is saying. It’s a really bad break. They’ve had to completely re-set his leg.’

  ‘Ouch. Poor Pierre. Makes my banged head seem rather silly now, doesn’t it?’

  ‘Nah. That was still bad.’ Imogen nudged Lily. ‘Where have you been all afternoon, you minx?’

  ‘Hypnotherapy,’ Lily explained. ‘I wasn’t going to go. It was all rather unexpected.’

  ‘How did it go? What happened? Did you eat a lemon thinking it was a chocolate muffin and pretend to hump a lamp you thought was the sexiest thing you’d ever seen?’

  ‘Shut up! No, nothing like that.’ Lily gave her a nudge back. ‘It was weird, but not in that way. I just can’t remember the middle part of it.’ She gave Imogen a quick rundown of her time with Bernadette, including all the stuff that had come up about her dad.

  ‘Sounds strange, but you never know. Maybe it will do the trick for you. How are you about the dad stuff?’ Imogen knew all about it, having nursed Lily through much of the fallout. There were many nights when they had stayed up until the early hours at Lily’s house, whispering about Lily’s dad and everything that was hurting her.

  ‘Not great. I was going to tell Luc about it, but he told me about his sister and I didn’t really want to go there.’

  ‘Luc has a sister?’

  ‘Not anymore, but I don’t think I should say more than that.’

  ‘Crikey. Fair enough. And where were you the rest of the day?’ Imogen demanded, pointedly checking her watch. ‘You’ve been gone for ages.’

  Lily shrugged in an off-hand manner. ‘Luc and I went for a fondue.’

  ‘Luc and I went for a fondue,’ Imogen mimicked. ‘You’re saying that as if it’s not a big deal, Lily.’

  ‘Why is it a big deal?’ Lily took her coat off. ‘God, it’s always boiling in here.’

  ‘It’s like a sauna,’ Imogen agreed. ‘But anyway. Stop changing the subject. It’s a big deal because Luc is only the hottest ski instructor here. And he never takes anyone out for lunch. He’s very private.’

  ‘Actually, I took him out for lunch to say thank you for my free hypnotherapy and yes, he is very private, but he did open up to me over the fondue. Big time. And then Jamie phoned.’

  ‘What?’ Imogen was almost beside herself with excitement. ‘I need to hear all about this, but we need to do dinner service. Sylvan has cooked coquilles St Jacques – seriously good by the way – followed by blanquette de veau. I hate veal so it’s pizza for me later, but don’t tell Sylvan.’

  ‘And dessert is a Paris-Brest,’ Ollie grinned, joining them. ‘Sounds naughty, but it isn’t. A cream puff, by all accounts. Full of whipped cream.’

  ‘Saucy,’ Imogen said, giving him a juicy kiss. ‘Come on. We have hundreds of guests to feed and none of them will particularly care that Pierre has his leg hoisted up in the air in plaster.’

  ‘And might not ski again,’ Ollie added glumly. ‘Poor guy. He has a stick up his ass, but I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.’

  Putting the drama to one side for the moment, they all got on with dinner service.

  * * *

  Hours later, Lily sat in the room alone, staring at her phone. Since Jamie had called her, she had been in a quandary. What should she do? Should she continue to ignore him, or should she call him back? Maybe a text message. That was more distant, not as personal.

  But it was so tempting to hear Jamie’s voice. She hadn’t spoken to him in days, no, weeks. That wasn’t normal for them. Lily missed his voice and his jokes and just everything.

  Not sure she was doing the right thing, Lily sat down on the bed and dialled his number. As soon as she had dialled, she regretted it. What if Ivy was with him? How bad would that look? About to end the call, Lily started when Jamie answered.

  ‘Lily! Thanks for calling me back.’

  Jamie sounded delighted to hear from her.

  ‘Oh, hi,’ Lily said tentatively. He sounded close, but also far away. She felt half-upset and half-elated to be speaking to him. ‘I wasn’t sure if I should call or not.’

  ‘Why not?’ Jamie sounded genuinely surprised. ‘We talk all the time.’

  ‘No, we used to talk all the time,’ Lily corrected him. She paused. She had sounded sharp. And she didn’t want to sound like some bitter old biddy who’d been rejected. ‘It’s just that I don’t want to upset Ivy. You know, if she saw my number coming up on your phone or whatever.’

  ‘But we’re friends!’ Jamie protested. ‘Don’t be silly. Listen, I know you were upset about me and Ivy, but I really want us to still be friends. Can we talk more? Please?’

  Lily hesitated. She didn’t want to encourage Jamie to call more and she wasn’t sure if it was healthy for them to go back to chatting all the time.

  ‘Where is Ivy now?’ she asked, laying back on her bed. She felt deeply relaxed and she wasn’t sure if it was the hypnotherapy or not. Or maybe it was speaking to Jamie again. She loved the hotel room she shared with Imogen; it had become their little sanctuary. They had all their personal touches like photos and ornaments dotted around the room and Lily had recently received a parcel from her mum with some extra bits like the fluffy pale blue fleece she used to have on her bed and her skanky old stuffed bunny, the one she had cuddled for years. Both of them smelt achingly of home.

  ‘Ivy’s working late,’ Jamie said, sounding as though he was also settling down on his bed. ‘Hang on, I’m just getting comfy. She works late a lot, your sister.’<
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  ‘Are you living together?’ Lily asked cautiously, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

  Jamie scoffed. ‘Living together? No way. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Red.’ There was a pause while they both digested the fact that he had used his nickname for her for the first time in weeks.

  ‘What do you mean? Don’t you want to live with Ivy?’ Lily wasn’t sure if she liked Jamie scoffing like that. Ivy was still her sister.

  ‘Yes, of course. In the future,’ Jamie said smoothly. ‘But not now. Not yet. It’s early days. And Ivy is kind of married to her job.’

  ‘You feel neglected,’ Lily guessed, wondering if this was why Jamie had gotten in touch.

  ‘God, no! I don’t feel neglected. You know me. I’m super sociable and super independent.’

  That was true, to be fair. Jamie had always done his own thing and whenever he had a girlfriend, he didn’t tend to live in their pocket. Actually, Jamie hadn’t moved in with any girl yet. He did like his own space.

  ‘So enough about me and Ivy,’ Jamie said comfortably. ‘What’s happening there? How are you after your accident? I’ve been worried sick about you.’

  Lily couldn’t help the leap of pleasure his comment gave her, but she berated herself. Oh, do stop it, she told herself. Idiot. ‘Oh, it’s all happening here. I’ve had hypnotherapy for my fear of heights, which bought up all sorts of horrible memories about my dad. Today the owner of the hotel broke his leg in three places and might never ski again.’

  ‘No way,’ Jamie breathed.

  ‘Yes way. Poor bloke is being operated on as we speak.’

  ‘Wow. That’s hardcore. Fancy never being able to ski again. I get arsey when I know I’m not going again for another year. But if I could never ski again, I think it would kill me.’ There was a pause. ‘So how do you feel after all the stuff about your dad coming up today?’

  ‘Sad. Upset. Angry,’ Lily mused, rolling over and tucking her arm under her pillow.

  ‘I’m not surprised.’ Jamie sounded compassionate. ‘Every time it comes up, it’s like re-living the trauma, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes, exactly that.’ Lily let out a sigh. This was the thing with Jamie. He always understood and he always made her feel better.

  ‘That was so brave of you, though,’ Jamie said. ‘To talk about that. And with the height thing. He was such a nasty bully.’

  ‘I just didn’t think it would affect me the way it has. To think that the horrible things he said to me all those years ago could stop me from learning to ski. I’ve honestly never been so petrified in my life.’

  They chatted for another ten minutes, talking about Lily’s dad and skiing and what was going on at Jamie’s work.

  ‘So, I’m still coming to visit,’ Jamie said towards the end of the call. ‘If that’s all right with you.’

  Lily felt a tremor of excitement at the thought of seeing Jamie again, but she pushed it down because she knew it was inappropriate. It might not actually happen anyway. Lily decided to put it to one side until it did.

  ‘It’s fine with me. Maybe Ivy might want to come?’ Lily felt that she should invite her sister as well.

  Jamie scoffed again. ‘I don’t think she’d step away from work for long enough to visit, Red. I can’t even get her to agree to a holiday next year.’

  Lily felt a flash of jealousy at the thought of Jamie and Ivy on holiday together, the two of them stretched out on loungers in shorts and bikinis, sipping Aperol spritzes as they laughed and tanned together. God. What on earth was wrong with her? She was such a horrible person. There she had been, thinking she had grown up and moved on from all this envy.

  ‘Aah well. Let’s see what happens. Nice talking to you, J.’ His old nickname slipped out accidentally, but it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

  ‘And you. Night, Red.’ Jamie sounded contented.

  Lily ended the call. How did she feel about Jamie now? The same? Different? Lily got up from the bed and thought about it. She had definitely missed talking to him. She loved the jokey tone and the way he made sense of everything. They had been friends for so long, he knew everything about her and that just made things so incredibly easy. There was history between them. It was as though Lily didn’t need to explain herself to Jamie because he already knew what had happened and how she felt about her past or whatever else might come up when they chatted. That was it. Jamie felt like home.

  Lily wandered over to the window. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Jamie coming over to Chamonix. It almost made her escape pointless. Well, not exactly. There was still the experience of it and hopefully the skiing and seeing Imogen and meeting everyone. Like Luc. But still, she had come to Chamonix to get over Jamie and here he was, talking about coming to see her. Maybe she should insist that he didn’t come? Maybe it would just set her back months and she would wish she hadn’t seen him?

  Feeling as though she needed some air, Lily grabbed her pale blue fleece from home and popped her slippers on. She opened the doors to the balcony and stepped out, breathing in the chill, sharp air. It was an extremely clear night; the sky looked dark navy and it was dotted with a gazillion tiny stars that Lily was sure made up many constellations, but she had no idea what any of them were. She wasn’t sure what a clear night meant for the following day in a ski resort. Lots more snow? No more snow? She would have to see in the morning.

  Lily realised she could hear low voices talking beneath her and she carefully leant over the balcony to see who it was. It was Luc and Elodie. Lily could tell it was Elodie from the bright blond of her hair and the other one had to be Luc with all that messy, dirty blond hair and the brown ski jacket. Lily pulled back, not wanting to eavesdrop, but not before she saw Luc draw Elodie into his arms. He pressed a kiss to Elodie’s forehead, then gave her a proper hug, tucking her head under his chin.

  Lily pulled her fleece around her more tightly. There had to be something between them. Simply had to be. Who kissed someone that tenderly if they didn’t have feelings for them? And hugged them in that ‘I’d do anything for you’ kind of way?

  Not sure why she even cared what was going on between Elodie and Luc, Lily left them to it and went back indoors. She was going to crash out asleep and replay the phone call with Jamie in her head. Not her afternoon with Luc having chats over fondue, but Jamie.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The Following Day

  Luc turned to Lily. ‘Are you ready?’

  ‘I think so.’

  Lily gritted her teeth. Luc had finished his formal lessons and she had completed breakfast service, two massages and a hurried lunch with Imogen in the local patisserie. Well, not so much lunch as a hot chocolate and an exquisite pastry called a religieuse, which was made of two choux pastry cases filled with crème pâtissière, covered in ganache, with more whipped cream piped on top. My god, it had been incredible. Lily couldn’t wait to get skiing, if only to do her thighs a favour.

  She was standing in central Chamonix at the entrance to the cable car Imogen had told her was one of the highest in the world. They had left their skis, poles and boots in a locker.

  ‘OK, so today, I am testing out Bernadette’s hypnotherapy. Using the cable car Aiguille du Midi.’

  ‘Right.’ Lily felt a mixture of calm settling upon her and anxiety coursing through her and she wasn’t sure which one was going to win.

  ‘We’re going up inside that,’ Luc pointed to the cable car. ‘Before we even ski. We’re going up and we’re coming back down and depending on how you feel after that, we’ll stick to a low slope and we’ll ski.’

  ‘Right,’ Lily said again. Luc looked suave in his red ski jacket, his tan giving him a healthy glow. But since seeing him with Elodie last night, Lily felt detached from him again, almost as if their intimate chat the day before hadn’t taken place. She wasn’t sure if it was some kind of defence mechanism that she had deliberately put in place or if it was something that had occurred naturally.

  Luc was
different today too. Was it because he had confided in her and he felt that he had opened up too much? Or maybe it just came down to Elodie. Maybe the tender hug and kiss had put him back in that headspace and that was why he was being rather coolly professional towards her.

  ‘How do you feel about going in the cable car?’

  Lily realised Luc was talking to her. ‘I’m not sure. I feel OK, but every so often my legs go wobbly.’

  ‘OK, that’s not too bad. Anything else?’

  Lily frowned. ‘I’m having these really weird thoughts and I don’t know where they’re coming from.’

  ‘Weird. What do you mean?’

  Luc gave her his full attention, which unnerved Lily. Sometimes Luc had this way of focusing his dark eyes on her as though he could see nothing else and didn’t want to. It was intense. Lily tried to get hold of her thoughts.

  ‘Things like… nothing bad is going to happen to me. I have nothing to be afraid of here. I’m in complete control. I’m calm and I can do this.’ She glanced at him. ‘Stuff like that.’

  Luc looked pleased. ‘That is Bernadette. Trust me. Those are the kinds of phrases she would use during the hypnotherapy.’

  ‘But why don’t I remember her saying any of that?’ Lily still felt sceptical, but maybe this stuff did actually work. To be fair, she did feel relatively calm. Anxious on the inside, but it was under control, rather than spiralling into something chronic.

  ‘Let’s get in it and see how you feel.’ Luc led the way. ‘I’m afraid we can’t get off apart from the official stop off points obviously, but we are going all the way round and back down again without attempting to get out higher up the mountain.’

  ‘OK.’ Obediently, Lily followed Luc to the queue and shuffled forwards in line. Soon enough, they were at one of the cable cars. It was a rectangular box with red edges and floor to ceiling windows. The kind that usually gave Lily nightmares.

  The doors opened and they got in. Lily felt a moment of extreme panic, but she was able to squash it down. It subsided without much effort and she found herself saying the same phrases over and over again in her head.