First Kiss

by Bernadette Marie

“None of this is your business. You need to get the estate settled and go home, Cade. There’s nothing for you here.”

  If it were any other woman he’d have walked out the front door and let it slam behind him as he sped off in his fancy car. None of it mattered he told himself, but he knew that was a lie.

  This was Olivia. The girl he’d shared the early years of his life with. The girl who helped him build that tree house that still stood in the back yard of his father’s house. The same girl he’d shared all his childhood secrets with and, of course, the first girl he’d ever kissed.

  Once all those thoughts ran through his head, he realized there was more. She was another misfit in the town without a parent. He had no mother, and she and Conner didn’t know their fathers.

  The three of them were a team. He was the leader. She was the brains. Conner was the follower without any say.

  His chest ached, and he rubbed the palm of his hand down his breastbone to ease the pain.

  Conner.

  Conner was just another person Cade had jilted in his life and never looked back. The boy looked up to him. The young man needed him. The grown man was someone Cade had never known, and now he was gone.

  The heat in the kitchen seemed to grow more intense. This wasn’t how he wanted to walk away from her.

  “Olivia, were you and my father…”

  “Say it, Cade. The entire town has the same words dripping from their tongues. Why should you be any different?”

  He stopped and watched her shoulders jerk with the sobs she tried to control.

  Cade moved to her, turned her to him, and wrapped his arms around her. She seemed small against him—fragile. But at the same time he’d caused her so much pain, he felt the healing powers in holding the woman he’d fallen in love with as a child. Emotions quickly stirred in him that were unlike any he’d ever known before.

  Her cheek nestled against his bare chest, and the dampness from her tears brushed against his skin.

  When her breathing had calmed, she adjusted, letting him still hold her—comfort her. She raised her hands to his chest and let her palms warm against him.

  His heart rate became faster, nearly uncomfortable. She shifted her head back and looked up at him. There was a need. A need to be accepted and cared for. He understood that need more than anyone could imagine. Wasn’t that, after all, what had brought them together as friends?

  Cade moved his hand from her back to her cheek. He brushed away the stray tears with his thumb. She sucked in a breath and he moved in.

  There was not time to think before he pressed his lips to hers and pulled her in closer to him. Right in his arms was the woman he’d always known belonged there.

  He’d expected some resistance, but he didn’t get any. She opened her mouth to him, her lips were pliant, her tongue eager.

  Olivia’s arms moved around his neck and he eased them both against the counter, pressing their bodies closer together.

  Once the fire of the kiss had been lit, he knew there’d be no stopping him—them.

  Her fingers moved through his hair. Their kiss deepened, and he was sure it wasn’t him who had done it. She was as hungry as he was. At least that part he was familiar with.

  He hoisted her up to his hips, wrapping her legs around him. She was like a doll in his arms. His doll. His responsibility.

  The thought shook him, but her lips still worked against his. He carried her down the hallway, their mouths and tongues still entwined, and made his way to her bedroom.

  As they walked through the door, he kicked it shut with his foot before moving Olivia up against it.

  She arched against the door at her back, holding him tighter.

  “Cade…” His name carried on her breath as he moved his lips to her neck. “What are we doing?”

  “Oh, don’t tell me you’re going to stop me.” He moved his lips to her ears. “But if you want me to, I’ll stop.”

  She didn’t speak right away.

  Cade lifted his head away, still holding her against him. Her eyes settled on his.

  “I don’t think I want you to stop.”

  “That’s what I wanted to hear.” He moved his mouth against hers again, but the kiss was different now—hesitant. “You’re thinking too hard.”

  “The last time I had sex with a man, I got Gage.”

  “Not a bad trade.”

  She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. “No, it wasn’t.”

  Of course, the thought crossed his mind that the last man she’d been with was his father. That was enough to ruin anyone’s desire.

  Instead of undressing her, the way he desperately wanted to, he carried her to the bed and sat her down.

  “I’ve done enough to hurt you over the years. I’m not going to do that now.”

  “See,” she chuckled, pushing a strand of hair from her eyes. “You should have gone when I told you too.”

  “I don’t want to go now. I like looking at you in my shirt, though out of my shirt would be better.”

  She smiled. “I don’t want you to go, but I don’t think I can do this. The sex part.”

  He narrowed his eyes on her. “What else is there?”

  “Stay the night. Let me sleep in your arms. At least when you’re gone in a week I won’t have lost anything, but maybe I’ll have a good memory of time with a dear friend.”

  How could he deny her that logic?

  It had been three o’clock when Olivia had awakened to check on Gage. He hadn’t woken all night. It shouldn’t have worried her, but it had.

  The comforting part was, when she woke, she was still wrapped in Cade’s arms.

  Why she’d stopped him from making love to her, she didn’t know. But, in her heart, she knew it was right. How could she give herself to another man who would make her leave, or who would leave her?

  When she curled back up against him, he wrapped his arm around her.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Checking on Gage.”

  She felt him move against her. “He’s okay, isn’t he?” His voice had shot up, more alert.

  There had never been a night in his short life in which he’d slept that long. “Never better.”

  “Hmmm,” he nuzzled his lips to her neck and soon he was asleep again.

  The next time she opened her eyes, the sun streamed through the curtains. She rolled to press her lips to Cade’s, but he was gone.

  Disappointment dropped into her stomach, and then the void was filled with anger. Why had she thought he’d be more than an average man? Thank goodness she hadn’t given more of herself.

  A moment later, she shot up from her pillow and ran out of the bedroom and down the hall. Gage. Gage wasn’t awake. He hadn’t had any terrors.

  She burst through his door, and there he was sitting in his crib playing with a toy. He looked up at her and smiled before he stood and held out his arms to her.

  “You had a good night, didn’t you?” She picked him up and held him close to her.

  Gage would never leave her or break her heart. At least she had that.

  Only a moment later, the doorbell rang. She looked at the small digital clock on the dresser next to the picture of Gage and Austin. It was seven-thirty.

  A surge of hope raced through her. Perhaps he’d only gone out—a run maybe, no—coffee. Yes, that must have been it.

  Olivia hurried to the front door with Gage wrapped in her arms. She flung open the front door and standing there, on the other side of the screen, was her mother.

  She let out what she knew was an ungrateful sigh. “Mom, I didn’t expect you.”

  “I just got back into town. Of course, you are my first stop.”

  Of course she was. Olivia pushed open the screen and looked past her to the driveway. His car was gone. Well, at least her mother hadn’t seen him coming out of her bedroom.

  Her mother reached out her hands. “Look at my grandson. Come see Grandma.”

  Gage turned his face int
o his Olivia’s shoulder.

  “Oh, he doesn’t know me. See, you keep me from him.”

  “I do not. You’re never around. I haven’t seen you in almost two months.” She turned and headed toward the kitchen, her mother close behind. “Where have you been?”

  “Oh, you know. Here. There. It’s a good thing I ran into Cade at the store. He said you weren’t living with Austin anymore, but had bought this place.”

  Olivia set Gage in his high chair and turned to make coffee. She hoped her mother didn’t see the shock that had forced her eyes open wide. “You saw Cade at the store?”

  She could hear her mother rifling around in her purse. “He said he was on donut detail this morning. But then he left the store without anything. I didn’t know he was back in town. Is that why you’re not with Austin anymore? Cade moved in and disrupted your cozy living arrangement?” There was a snide tone to her voice. Her mother made her point perfectly clear.

  “Austin died mom and I lived there, I wasn’t with him.” She turned and saw the cigarette between her mother’s lips. “Mom, don’t light that. Gage…”

  “Oh, relax.” Her mother put the cigarette back in her purse. “So, Austin died, huh?”

  “I’m sure you knew that.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure I heard something about it.” She examined her perfect, red manicure. “How come he didn’t let you stay in the house? Seems like you two were so close.” She gave a wave of her hand in the air. “You always were, that is. I never thought it was an appropriate relationship.”

  Olivia turned back to the coffee maker and set her jaw. Even her own mother didn’t respect her. Not that it shocked her any. Olivia was never Celeste Baker’s top priority. That was how she grew so close to Austin and Cade, after all. How many nights had Celeste gone out all night and left her home alone?

  She took two mugs out of the cupboard and set them on the counter.

  Olivia had figured out years ago, when she was still a young girl, that Celeste’s problem with Austin wasn’t his relationship with her daughter. It was that when she’d made her own play, or plays as it was, he’d never noticed. He was much too busy raising his son, his nephew, and taking care of her daughter to think about rolling in the sheets with Celeste. All it had done was prove to be a challenge and a source of aggravation until Celeste married again.

  Just the thought of that sent a chill down Olivia’s spine. Thank goodness for Carter men when it came to Celeste’s ex-husband. Without them, Olivia wouldn’t be standing in her own kitchen, cringing at her mother.

  “This is a nice place, sweetheart. How do you afford it?”

  Olivia picked up the coffee pot and slowly poured coffee into each mug. “I have a good job, Mother.”

  “Right. Parker Woods always did like you.”

  “I have a degree in finance. It has nothing to do with Parker’s feelings for me.”

  “Hmmm.” Her mother purred out as Olivia pulled a sippy cup from the cupboard and then opened the refrigerator and pulled out the milk. Her mother looked up at her. “Oh, Cade said he’d have to stop by and see you to say hi. I’m surprised you didn’t see him at the funeral. I heard you arranged everything.”

  Olivia bit back the smile. Her mother didn’t even realize she’d passed on a message.

  He hadn’t run out on her in the middle of the night. He’d gone for breakfast, but had run into her mother. Even Cade knew that wasn’t a good sign.

  Perhaps he had changed. She let the smile surface on her lips, but only momentarily. It had been a very long time since Olivia looked forward to seeing Cade again, and this time perhaps she wouldn’t let him only sleep.

  Clearing her mind, Olivia poured the milk into the cup, tightened on the lid, and set it in front of Gage. He scooped it up and went about drinking it.

  “I did arrange Austin’s funeral. There was no one around to do it.”

  “What about that sister of his? Last I saw her she was in Vegas.” Which meant Celeste had been, too.

  “You know, she’s gone.” Olivia thought better of it. “Or was. I think she was here long enough to empty the house of a few things while we were all at the funeral.”

  Her mother gave her a slow nod. “So Cade just let you do all the work?”

  She wasn’t going to sell Cade out, not at this point. “It was my pleasure to do it, Mom.”

  “I’ll bet it was.” The words were said under her breath, but not completely hidden.

  The vile taste of distain filled Olivia’s mouth. “So, how come you showed back up now?”

  “A woman wants to see her grandson from time to time.” She brushed her hand over Gage’s head. “Why don’t you let me take him for the morning? I’ll go get him a donut or something sweet. That’s what Grandmas do, right?”

  “Mom, he doesn’t need anything like that.”

  “Well, it would give you a moment to get out of that nasty T-shirt and get a shower.”

  Olivia let out a long breath. She wasn’t going to get into it with her own mother. But there was more, and it didn’t take rocket science to quickly figure out that her mother thought Olivia was going to get something out of Austin’s estate.

  She lifted her coffee mug to her lips and looked at Gage. Olivia had everything she ever needed in life, and thanks to Austin, it was all securely hers. She didn’t need anything else. It was all Cade’s.

  The coffee scorched her throat when she swallowed hard. Yep, it was all Cade’s, and he’d soon be throwing it all into boxes or dumpsters and heading back to his life in Wisconsin.

  Chapter Seven

  Olivia’s mood had quickly soured after her mother’s visit. The offer had been made, because that’s what good daughters do, for her to stay with them during her visit. But even Celeste knew it would be better to get a room in town. After all, Olivia was a bit too old fashioned when it came to her own mother bringing strangers home from the bar. Not that those words had been said aloud, but they both knew the implications.

  Olivia shook her head as she washed down the kitchen table. That wasn’t fair. Perhaps her mother had changed. Then again, maybe she hadn’t.

  She scrubbed harder as she thought that she missed Austin much more than she’d ever missed her mother. Celeste Baker never seemed to be quite far enough away, except when Olivia had moved back to Grand Junction before Gage was born. She had been quite surprised to find she was a grandmother, and Olivia had been just as surprised to find her mother had been in jail that whole time.

  Her negative thoughts shifted when the phone rang. She reached for the receiver and answered it.

  “I saw your mom’s car drive over the bridge. I figured it was safe to call.”

  She had been so angry all morning, Olivia couldn’t have imagined that Cade’s voice on the other end of the phone would actually put her at ease.

  She slid into one of the chairs at the table and relaxed. “I got your message.”

  “Good. I didn’t want you to think I snuck away.”

  She didn’t confirm that that had been a thought.

  “I thought you’d like breakfast in bed,” he continued. “I figured when I ran into your mom at the store that she’d be headed your way. I thought she’d left town years ago.”

  It surprised her that he knew that, but then again, when she’d left it was under the black cloud of scandal. Not that that was a new story in the life of Celeste Baker.

  “She seems to have just shown up for the first time in months.”

  “Hey, listen, I was thinking I owe you a couple meals.” Thank goodness he changed the subject. “Why don’t I burn some steaks on the grill for dinner? You and Gage come over and spend the night here.”

  Olivia bit down on her bottom lip. That sure was a mixed invitation. “We would love to come for dinner, though burning steaks doesn’t sound like a cooking method.”

  He laughed. “You haven’t seen me bar-b-que.”

  “But, about the other part…”

  “Olivia, I want to spe
nd more time with you. With both of you. I’ve missed you, and I didn’t realize just how much.”

  She couldn’t decide if that was reason to pursue the invitation—to find out what he meant—or reason enough to reject it. After all, after the age of twelve, Cade Carter had been nothing to her but a thorn in her side—and an unsatisfied ache in her heart.

  “I can’t set Gage up like this.” The maternal instincts were ramped up now. “He can’t get used to you. You’re going to leave.”

  “I’m in no hurry. In case you didn’t hear, I’m a washed up, injured football player. No one wants one of those.”

  “Cade…”

  “It’s okay. You nearly die on the field holding tight to that damn ball, and moments later, your career is over. They write you a check, tell you maybe they’ll consider you for a coaching position, and the next minute they’re having a press conference telling the world they just signed some new hot shot. It’s how the game is played.”

  Though he was joking, she wondered how much pain there really was behind the words.

  “What time would you like us there?”

  “How about five?”

  “We’ll see you then.”

  “Olivia, plan to stay.”

  The line went dead, but her heart kicked into gear. What was she getting herself into?

  Cade watched Olivia and Gage unload from the car. It was a sight that had caught him off guard. A mother and her son. The glances. The touches. The smiles they exchanged. He didn’t remember his mother. He’d missed out on a lot, he saw that now.

  He limped down the front steps to the car, and Gage reached for him. He took him from Olivia’s arms and held him against his chest.

  “That looks like a diaper bag.” He nodded to the bag she pulled from the floor of the car. “When I said plan to stay, I meant pack a bag.”

  “Cade, I can’t start up some affair with you just because you’re here. All of this is awkward. I think dinner is a good place to leave it.”

  “I’m not trying to hurt you,” he found himself whispering as though someone else would hear. “C’mon, what happened between us that we can’t enjoy each other as adults?”