First Kiss

by Bernadette Marie

  “Hey,” Ashley called from the house. “You have a phone call.”

  “Take a message.”

  “Get your ass in here. This one is a coaching position. You ain’t gonna want to pass this up.”

  Olivia picked out an outfit for Gage. A pair of blue shorts and a red T-shirt with a flag on it was very appropriate for the Fourth of July.

  She turned toward the crib to dress him, and he’d put the blanket over his head.

  “Are you hiding?” She reached to peek under it, and he slapped at her.

  “Dade.”

  Olivia set her jaw. “Cade isn’t here. Let’s get dressed and go have fun at the park today.”

  “Dade!”

  Oh, there had been times when she’d grown frustrated with her son before. What parent hadn’t? But this time, she was feeling the sting of anger.

  “Gage Baker, let’s get dressed and go to town. No more talk of Dade…I mean Cade.”

  For the next twenty minutes, she struggled with the strong-minded toddler. By the time she’d gotten his arms through the sleeves of the T-shirt, her hair had fallen into her eyes and a bead of sweat rolled down the back of her neck. The room was hot, her nerves were shot, and she thought she just might get sick.

  Gage reached his arms up to her as if he’d noticed she needed him. She pulled him in close and held tight. He was all she had. Cade Carter wasn’t about to ruin that.

  She packed them a picnic while Gage sat on the floor with his cars. When she was done, she carried it to the front door and turned to see Gage holding an old teddy bear.

  “Where did you get that?”

  Gage turned and pointed. “Box.”

  The bear was Conner’s, and she remembered it well. Tears burned her eyes and quickly rolled down her cheeks.

  She’d tried to forget the box Cade had brought over. She hadn’t looked inside, and she hadn’t wanted to. Everything was too raw, and her emotions were unstable.

  Olivia sat down, right in the middle of the floor.

  Gage hurried to her and handed her the bear, then he slid into her lap.

  She kissed the top of his head. “That was your daddy’s bear.” Austin had been gracious enough to think ahead and build memories of Gage’s father for him. The least she could do was share them.

  “Dade.”

  She wrapped her arms around him tighter. He didn’t understand now, but in time, he would.

  The park was full of people, some from town, others were tourists. Aspen Creek knew how to throw a party, and the people came every year for the celebration.

  Olivia left the cooler with the picnic in the car and walked toward the tent where she saw Kat working the bake sale.

  “Well, look at that big boy,” Kat hollered, and Gage buried his face into Olivia’s neck. “I can’t believe how much he’s grown.”

  “Already it’s going so fast.”

  “Mine were born, and then they were gone.”

  Olivia wasn’t sure that was comforting.

  Kat scanned over the crowd. “No, Cade? I thought he was back.”

  Olivia forced a smile on her face and shook her head, but at the mention of his name, Gage’s head had popped up.

  “Dade.”

  The wide eyes of Kat McCormik had trouble brewing in them. “Dade? Isn’t that cute? Do you suppose that’s his way of saying dad?”

  “I sure hope so.” The voice resonated behind Olivia, and she spun around.

  Limping toward her was Cade.

  Gage’s arms reached for him and Cade took him, giving him an enormous squeeze. “Hey, buddy, I missed you.”

  Gage rested his head on Cade’s shoulder, and Cade kissed the top of his head.

  Olivia’s body tensed and began to shake. “What are you doing here?”

  “I have a house here, remember?”

  “You left.”

  “You said you wouldn’t marry me.”

  Olivia let out a frustrated grunt as he moved in closer to her. She didn’t like the scene he was making, especially with Kat standing so close. “Cade, give me Gage.”

  “Have you changed your mind yet?”

  “About what?”

  He reached for her, resting his hand on her cheek. “Marrying me.”

  “I am very sure you hit your head harder than you think you did on that field. It’s just taken two years for you to lose your mind.”

  “I lost my mind the day you came into my life in the flower-print sundress when you were six.”

  She heard the gasp from Kat and pulled away from Cade.

  “Maybe Gage and I should go.”

  Cade looked at Gage and shook his head. “I really think this kiddo needs a new stuffed animal.” Gage sat straight up and laughed. “Yep, let’s go.” He turned to Olivia. “Comin’?”

  What choice did she have? Obviously Gage was happy with him. She’d let him spoil her son.

  Cade had hoped that the festivities would relax Olivia and they could work some things out. He wasn’t going to tell her about the coaching position he’d taken until he was sure she would accept him back.

  He understood, deep inside of him, that she still might continue to say no to his marriage proposal, but he wasn’t about to leave Gage. After all, Gage was the only family he had left.

  He looked to his side, and the woman he loved walked quietly beside them. “Are you okay?”

  “Fine.”

  “I’ve always been told when a woman says fine, it’s not.”

  She dropped her shoulders and looked up at him. “I’m hot. I’m hungry. I’m cranky. I’m tired. And I just don’t feel good. Add that to you just showing up and Gage’s attachment to you, I think my head is just might explode.”

  Cade stopped walking. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “I know. But it’s hard when I’ve spent so much time being mad at you…”

  “You have to stop.”

  She fisted her hands on her hips. “Why? Because you come back and ask me to marry you?”

  It did sound bad when she said it. “It’s not going to be like that anymore.”

  He could see her consider it by the way she dropped her eyes, but the next voice he heard calling his name had sent Olivia’s shoulders back, her jaw had set, and now her knuckles were white.

  Cade turned to see Patsy Woods walking his way.

  Of all the people in the world to interrupt their conversation, she had to be the worst.

  “Oh-my-God! You are here. Parker said you were in town, but I didn’t believe him.”

  She moved past Olivia without a thought and kissed him right on the lips. Gage shifted in his arms. Even he knew she was trouble.

  “Look at this. You have a little boy. Oh, he is precious! He has your eyes and looks just like you. Lucky little man.”

  He realized he hadn’t even had a moment to talk, but he wasn’t going to correct her on Gage’s paternity. No need. Gage was his, as far as he was concerned. He was a Carter, and it was time he got the recognition of being one.

  “So you’re married? I know you’re not playing football anymore. I saw that play when you got hurt. Knocked you out cold. So where is his mama?”

  Cade watched as Olivia stepped between them. “I’m his mother, Patsy.”

  Patsy looked her over from head to toe and shook her head. “Do I know you?”

  “Oh, you know me. Olivia Baker.”

  Patsy actually gasped aloud, but with her well-manicured hand lifted to her lips, she did all she could to compose herself while looking at Olivia.

  “You sure have changed.”

  “I’ll bet I have.”

  “Parker always did have a thing for you, though I don’t know what he ever saw in you before.” Patsy readjusted her purse on her shoulder. “You must have lost a hundred pounds and had a whole makeover. And now you two…” She wagged a finger between them. “I never saw that coming, especially after all the nights you and I spent together.”

  Cade felt the anger begin to coarse
though his veins, just as it did the night he threw Buck through the jukebox. “Patsy…”

  “We had a good thing, didn’t we? Remember the backseat of my car, down by the creek?”

  Olivia turned to him, her eyes full of fury. She pulled Gage from his arms and walked away. He certainly didn’t blame her.

  “Nice to see you, Patsy.” He turned, but she caught his arm.

  “Really? You and Baker? C’mon, what’s the real story? You wouldn’t have felt her up if she paid you. Now you have a kid?” She shook her head. “She was white trash. How’d you make a woman out of her that you’d want to keep?”

  He could see Olivia heading to the parking lot.

  Cade wondered at that moment what he’d ever seen in Patsy Woods. How many tumbles had they taken? How many lies had he told to be with her? It was her promise of one more time that had him driving away from his father for the last time.

  Guilt riddled him, and he thought his heart might explode as he watched Gage struggle to sit in the car as Olivia buckled him in.

  She deserved better than the man he’d been. Standing so close to Patsy Woods, he could feel the person he was nearly ooze away. It wasn’t what he wanted anymore. No more women. No more booze or late nights. He wanted the woman he loved and the child with his eyes.

  “Ya know, Patsy, all those years ago I was wrong. I should have been sitting on that porch swing or been up in that tree with Olivia when I was off feeling you up. It should have been her with me that last night in town, not you.” He nodded. “I was an idiot. But ya know what? I’m never going to make that mistake again.”

  He adjusted his sunglasses. “I’ll see you around. You’re not worth my time.”

  Cade had driven straight to Olivia’s house, but she wasn’t there. That was a cause for alarm because where did she have that she could go? Her home and her son were all she had.

  But as he stood on her front porch looking in the window, he saw the box he’d brought, still on the floor where he’d sat it. He knew exactly where she was.

  Ten minutes later, he found her sitting on the ground next to his father’s grave.

  He parked his car in the lot and eased out of the confined seat. Gage had looked up at him, but he didn’t run to him. He sat in his mother’s lap as if he knew she needed the comfort of him near.

  “Olivia, I’m sorry for all that. I owe you years of apologies.”

  Her cheeks were streaked with tears, and she shook her head at him. “I wasn’t worth anyone’s time back then. My mother didn’t want me. You didn’t want me. My stepfather only wanted…” She wiped at her eyes. “The only two people who ever treated me kindly are right here. Buried in the ground. And I’m still here facing the same people they tried to protect me from.”

  “I don’t want to be one of those people who hurt you anymore. If the Carter men were the ones in your life that made sense then I should be in your life.”

  “You were the one I wanted, and you were the one who didn’t care.”

  “That’s not true.” He moved to her and tried to kneel down, but his knee wouldn’t bend. Damn it! “Olivia, stand up so I can talk to you.”

  “I don’t want to talk to you anymore. You’re causing me so much pain just being here.”

  “You need me here.”

  She shifted her jaw in the air. “I’ve never needed anyone.”

  “Listen, Gage is my family. I deserve to be with him even if you hate me.”

  The tears started again and that cut him deep. How was it he could always make her cry?

  “My problem is that I don’t hate you. I never did hate you and that drove me in the wrong direction—into the arms of the wrong Carter man.”

  “Then let me be the one to love you.”

  “I don’t think you can.”

  The air squeezed in his lungs. She was right. When had he ever loved anyone but himself?

  “Come back to the house with me. I have things I want to talk about.”

  “Aspen Creek is my home. I’m not moving.”

  “And I’m not going to ask you to move.” He reached down to her and helped her from the ground. “Hear me out. And after, if you feel the need, you can kick me out.”

  She focused on him for a moment and then a smile formed on her lips. “I do think I hate you.”

  “I don’t blame you.”

  This time Gage reached up for him, and he pulled him into his arms and walked back to the parking lot with his arms around both the people he wanted to love the most.

  Now he had to figure out how to tell her about his plans. That could seriously disrupt the progress he hoped he was making.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Gage had fallen asleep on the ride down from the cemetery, and Olivia was glad. She needed the ten minute drive to think about what she was going to do.

  She’d waited her whole life for Cade Carter, and now he was begging for her. But Patsy had certainly raised some red flags. After all, she and Cade were different.

  There was a lot to consider when she moved on with a man—even Cade.

  Gage’s wellbeing was her main concern. She’d had a stepfather, and it was that same stepfather who had nearly taken from her the very virtue she easily gave to Conner.

  Her brow began to sweat. In fact, it was years after her mother divorced the S.O.B. that he’d come after her. Austin picked her up and moved her to Grand Junction to hide her away, but he’d found her. It was Conner who had stepped in and took care of her. That certainly had made it easier for her to fall into his arms.

  But now Cade had attached himself to Conner’s son, claiming him, doting on him, making him his own. She was sure him telling her that Gage was his only family was his way of securing her heart.

  Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel. Gage was hers. What if she didn’t want to share him—even with his blood relative?

  He was right behind her when she pulled into her driveway. There had been a moment of clarity. She didn’t want to share Gage. He needed to know that.

  She stepped out of the car, and it surprised her that he was standing right there. She hadn’t heard him get out of the car, and how had he limped that fast? Or how long had she sat there lost in her thoughts?

  There wasn’t a moment to tell him what she’d thought. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in tight to him. A moment later, his mouth was on hers and she was lost in a sea of confusion that Cade was causing with his kiss.

  It wasn’t just a peck. He deepened the kiss. His tongue found hers, and when he pressed his hand against the small of her back, she was lost.

  Who the hell cared who she shared her life with? Gage liked Cade, right?

  She lifted up onto her toes and pressed her lips to his harder. He moved her just slightly so her back was against the car. If only she could keep Gage asleep a few more minutes, enough to carry him to his room and let him take a full nap, she could have Cade again.

  “I love you, Cade.” Her voice cracked as she spoke when he broke the kiss only to trail hungry ones down her neck.

  He rested his forehead on hers. “I won’t make you move.”

  “I won’t make you give up your life in Wisconsin.”

  “We can do this. We can be a family. You, me, and Gage.”

  She nodded. That was what she wanted. She’d been stupid to tell him no before.

  “Let me get Gage in the house and down for a nap.”

  Cade pulled her in tight for one more kiss. “Hurry.”

  Cade paced the floor as Olivia carried Gage to his room. He’d have liked to put him down, but she knew how to do it better and could get in and out. Cade would probably wake him.

  There was a pent up energy surging through him now. He paced again, and this time he nicked the edge of the box with Conner’s things in it with his toe.

  That, too, had been eating at him. Why didn’t she go through the box? Why didn’t it matter?

  If you had a son with someone, didn’t you usually love th
em?

  Well, that was relative, he thought. Not always was that the case.

  He sat down on the couch, next to the box, and began to take out the mementos his father had tucked inside.

  There was his letter jacket, his high school diploma, and a spelling bee trophy from third grade. A picture of the three of them as children in front of the tree house and a picture of Olivia and Conner at prom were in a small frame. He hadn’t even realized they’d gone to prom together.

  How could he have remembered any of it? He was drunk on stolen wine with Patsy in the barn at Rose Ranch. He’d been such an idiot.

  At the bottom of the box there was a shoe box, and this time he was nearly paralyzed when he saw it.

  “I got him down. What are…” Olivia stopped and moved next to him as he pulled it from the box.

  Atop the box, his father had written Cade’s name.

  Cade sat back against the couch.

  “He knew I’d find this.”

  “What’s in it?” Olivia asked as she sat down next to him.

  He opened the top and inside were all the papers to all the accounts that Cade would have to close out and a letter from his father.

  He’d started to read it and didn’t even notice that Olivia had left the room and gone into the kitchen until she came back out with two glasses of ice water. She handed him one.

  “Thank you.” He sipped it, unaware that his mouth had gone dry. “He knew I’d come when he died.” He held the letter up. “He says he’s sorry for being a bad father, bad enough that I moved away.” He shook his head. That hurt because it wasn’t the truth. He’d been the defiant son. “He said he came to see me play. He was there in the hospital when I was injured and that he wants me to take care of Gage because he loves him very much.”

  Olivia placed her hand over her mouth and batted the tears that Cade could see welling in her eyes. Tears burned his eyes too, but he’d long been trained to push them back.

  “He said one of his fondest memories of our childhood was watching you and I get married under the tree with Conner officiating.”