House of Shadows: Royal Houses Book Two

by K. A. Linde

  If she didn’t want to watch the people and place she loved burn, she’d have to do what he said. She didn’t see any other alternative. He had her entire world in the palm of his hand.

  “Do you understand?”

  She swallowed and nodded. “I understand.”

  She understood that she couldn’t go through with this, and yet she had no idea how to get out of it. Her magic spun all around her as fear crept in stronger and stronger. It was the same sensation she’d felt after the capital attack when she was arrested. She’d assumed it had been a fluke, but here it was, swirling all around her.

  March was speaking to her, but she couldn’t hear him through the droning in her ears. She stumbled away from him, out of the alcove he’d sequestered them in. March reached for her, but then Fordham’s face came into view. He looked concerned, but March swatted him away from her.

  She tried to speak, but nothing came out. The bottomless of her magic rushed up at her, emptying like a sieve. Her vision went black, and she collapsed.

  “Kerrigan? Kerrigan, can you hear me?” Darby’s voice said above her.

  For a moment, Kerrigan could almost believe they were back in the House of Dragons. Darby was going to brew her one of her hangover-cure healing potions, like old times. Then, she opened her eyes and remembered what had happened.

  March.

  “Ugh,” she groaned, blinking.

  “You’re okay. Take a breath. You collapsed at the party. Sonali and I had you brought back to your rooms.”

  “Oh.”

  She glanced around through bleary eyes but only found Darby.

  “Sonali already left. She said you were stable. The only thing she could recognize was that your well of magic had depleted to an unsafe level.”

  “Oh,” she repeated.

  “What happened?”

  Kerrigan shook her head and came up to one elbow. Darby offered her a glass of water, which she drained. “I don’t know. One moment, March and I were arguing, and the next, my magic went on the fritz.”

  “Has this ever happened before?”

  “No.” Kerrigan sighed. “Yes. It happened when I was arrested. And it happened a lot during the tournament.”

  Though she didn’t mention that it’d happened in the tournament because she was having visions. Here, she hadn’t even seen anything. What was happening with her spirit magic if she was having the same circumstances of her visions but no vision?

  “Okay. Well, this is way beyond me. I think you need to talk to Helly when you get back to the mountain and try to find a cause. In the meantime, you have a very concerned gentleman waiting for you.”

  She winced. “March?”

  Darby shook her head. “Fordham.”

  “Right.” Kerrigan sighed. “I do need to talk to him.”

  “Try to rest. I’ve been doing some reading about healing magical ailments, and anything that depletes your magic isn’t good.”

  “Story of my life.”

  Darby smiled at her and then opened the door, letting Fordham inside. He closed the door behind him but didn’t take the seat. He just stared at her with that guarded expression back on his face. She hadn’t ever wanted to see it again, and now, she was only going to make it worse.

  “Hey,” she croaked.

  “How are you feeling?”

  She shrugged. “Like my magic depleted and I passed out.”

  “I see. Did you have a vision?”

  “No,” she whispered, staring down at the stone floor. “I didn’t. This happened when I was arrested, too. I didn’t have a vision then either.”

  “That’s unusual.”

  “I’m supposed to see Helly about it when I get home.”

  “That’s a good idea.” He paused before taking a step forward. “What happened with March?”

  She closed her eyes, wishing she didn’t have to say what was about to come out of her mouth. “We’re still engaged.”

  Fordham froze. “I see.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “I’m sure it is,” he said on a sigh.

  “He had guards in Lillington. They found us in the hot springs.”

  Fordham’s gaze turned stony. “Of course he did.”

  “We were still engaged at the time,” she breathed. “And he threatened…”

  He held up his hand. “I know precisely what he did. You don’t have to explain.” He laughed brusquely and turned from her. “It’s the curse.”

  “Fordham, it’s not.”

  “It is. I should have known better, but I took the chance anyway.”

  “We can still…”

  “We cannot,” he said, his voice cold.

  “You won’t even let me finish? You won’t even fight for me?”

  “I’m letting you go before the curse kills you,” he said, crossing his arms, guarding himself from her. “My feelings matter little if your life is in danger. We will still work together. I promise to help you with training and get you to pass the flying test when we return, but that’s it.”

  She choked on a sob. “Fordham, I don’t want this to happen.”

  His shoulders bunched. “It doesn’t matter what we want,” he said and then left the room.

  Tears stung her eyes. She balled her hands into fists and tried not to cry. She didn’t even hear as Darby came back into the room. Just felt her wrapping her up tight and holding her as it all came unraveled.

  45

  The Heart

  CLOVER

  “Holy gods, did you hear what happened to Kerrigan?” Hadrian asked the minute he stepped into the house he shared with his mentor, Fallon.

  Clover frowned. “No, she’s not even back yet.”

  “She got back today,” Hadrian said.

  He patted the seat next to him, and she crossed the room to sit at his side. Fallon was gone for the afternoon, which meant they had the entire time all to themselves. She should have been dealing in the Wastes, but she’d ditched when she got the message from Hadrian.

  It wasn’t love. That was what she kept telling herself as she shirked her responsibilities to end up in his arms. It was just a fun thing to pass the time. It wasn’t because he’d saved her life and they’d huddled together in that sewer for hours with only each other for company.

  That wasn’t the first time she’d endured something like that. Unlike Hadrian. When everything had come crumbling down around her when she was younger, she’d only had herself to rely on. Now, she had Hadrian. It filled a void that she hadn’t known she was missing.

  But it wasn’t love.

  A hundred percent not love.

  His lips trailed down her jawline. “You stopped listening.”

  “Sorry. What were you saying?”

  “She had some blackout at the court after an argument with March.”

  “Ew, March,” Clover grumbled. “How did Fordham take it?”

  “I didn’t hear that much. Just the gossip.”

  “I’m worried for Red, especially after her arrest. Maybe I should go check on her.”

  He kissed her collarbone. “Or you could check on her after you leave.”

  She laughed and pushed him away. “You’re insatiable.”

  His blue hair stuck up in a perfectly tousled way. Those big brown eyes staring straight through her. “I’ve never known anyone like you, Clove.”

  “That right, sweetheart?” she teased. “You should slum it more often.”

  Fighting with him still made her hot.

  “Don’t say that about yourself,” he said, reaching for her again.

  “Hey. I know my own worth. I’m worth ten of any Fae around,” she joked. “I also know that I’m not a pretty, fancy noble like…”

  The name that she didn’t say lingered between them. Darby. She wasn’t like Darby. Darby, who had turned her down. Who was currently sullying her perfectly beautiful self with some Fae male who would never appreciate her and who she had no affection for. All to make little Fae babies rather
than making herself happy.

  Clover’s mood soured at the thought.

  Hadrian stroked back the cut of her bob behind her perfectly normal human ears. “I like you just the way you are.”

  “Course you do,” she said with a wink.

  His finger moved to the chain she always kept at her throat, and he pulled it out from where the necklace nestled against her skin. She grabbed it back from him and tucked it away.

  “Sorry,” he said quickly. “You just never take it off. I was wondering why.”

  “It was my dad’s,” she said softly. The shape of the locket pressed firm against her skin. “It was the last thing he ever gave me. He told me to always keep it safe. That it… I would change the world.” She laughed. “It’s ridiculous. What’s one girl going to do anyway?”

  “Isn’t that why you’re part of Rights For All?”

  “And look at what that got us,” she snapped unfairly.

  He held up his hands. “I just think you should give yourself some credit. You are changing the world. At least mine.”

  He pulled her close again, and this time, she didn’t resist. She didn’t want to resist him anyway. Men were so much more complicated than women. She never preferred one over the other. In fact, she’d always just been attracted to the person rather than their gender. None of that had ever mattered to her. But Hadrian was one of the few males she’d felt comfortable with for this long. And she wanted it to work… even as they hid it from everyone else.

  “Hey,” he whispered, tipping her chin up to look at him. He was a full head taller than her, which was a feat. She was tall for a human.

  His lips grazed hers. She groaned and leaned against him, forgetting the world. They still had hours to themselves. She needed to stop arguing with him and use the time to their best interests. Neither of them heard the soft tread of satin slippers against the wood or the sitting room door click open. Only the pained gasp from the now-open doorway.

  Clover’s head jerked to the side to find Darby’s stunned expression. Tears came immediately to her big black eyes.

  “Darbs,” Hadrian said, taking a step toward her.

  But Clover could say nothing. Just stared at her as Darby witnessed what they had been trying so hard to hide from the world. They were together. And Clover’s heart still lay at least partially in Darby’s hands. No matter how much she tried… she truly wanted them both.

  Darby shook her head and then ran from the room. Hadrian made to follow her, but Clover stopped him and went after her instead. She reached her just as she flung the front door wide.

  Clover yelled, “Wait!”

  Darby stalled at the front steps. She even looked beautiful as she cried. “What?”

  “Why did you come here?”

  “I hadn’t heard from you or Hadrian in weeks. I thought something was wrong. I didn’t think this.”

  “Why not?” Clover asked, pushing her. She knew that she should back off, but she never could back down from Darby. “You said we couldn’t do this. You said you were going to marry a male and pop out a brood of Fae littlings. You’re in the Season, Darby. You have no right to be upset about this.”

  “Then, why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Would you have preferred I rub it in your face?”

  “No,” she said, swiping at her tears. “Of course not. But… I just thought…”

  “What? You just wanted me to wait while you moved on?”

  Darby looked pained and her lip quivered. “It doesn’t stop how I feel about you.”

  Clover’s anger cooled. She released a breath. “Me either.”

  Darby’s eyes jumped to hers. “Then… why?”

  “I’ve always wanted you, Darbs. You know that. But I want Hadrian too. I want you both.”

  “It doesn’t work that way.”

  “It can,” Clover said. “If you weren’t so set on being someone you’re not.”

  Darby pulled back as if she had been slapped. “If that’s how you see it, then I guess I made the right choice. I hope you two are very happy.”

  Then, she slammed the door on her way out. Hadrian appeared at her side a moment later.

  “How much did you hear?”

  “All of it,” he said, reaching for her hand.

  “And you still want to touch me?”

  “I already knew how you felt about her.”

  Clover met his gaze. “And how do you feel now?”

  “I will take you however I can get you, Clove,” he said in complete earnest. “If you want us both, you can have us both. I want whatever makes you happy.”

  “I don’t think that will ever happen,” she said as she glanced toward the door.

  “Then, I’ll keep you as all mine.”

  He covered her mouth with his. He had a way of making her forget everything. And she dived into it, mind, body, and soul. Anything at all to forget that look on Darby’s face.

  46

  The Blackouts

  Fordham was true to his word.

  Kerrigan scrubbed her face dry and met him for the next three days for training. And in that time, he scrapped everything they’d been working on. What was the point of bond training if she had no bond? He made her memorize the flying test as he remembered it so that she could fake the testing for Alura.

  They didn’t discuss what had happened between them or March. He never once changed from the military general she’d first met back to the caring man she’d fallen in love with. He was direct and unwavering. She hated every minute of it even though she knew it was necessary. Both giving up what they’d briefly had and focusing only on the training.

  When they returned to Kinkadia, Alura ran her through her paces.

  She shook her head when Kerrigan finished the test. There had only been one snag that was different than Fordham’s impeccable memory, and she’d faltered but recovered.

  “I must admit,” Alura said when she reached Kerrigan and Tieran, “I didn’t think ten days was long enough to make up for what we had done in a month, but you passed. You keep surprising me.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  Alura circled her, pacing softly around the dirt-covered arena. “You practiced with Fordham?”

  “Yes. We were in my home of Corsica for a week and used ancestral land to work on it.”

  Alura stopped just outside of Kerrigan’s vision. “Corsica? Were you near Lillington by any chance?”

  Kerrigan’s heart hammered as she nodded. “Yes. We celebrated Geivhrea with the locals.”

  “Interesting.”

  “Your mother is from there, isn’t she?”

  Alura came into her view. “How do you know that?”

  “My father told me.”

  “Your father is a swine,” Alura snarled.

  Kerrigan arched an eyebrow. “No argument there.”

  A smile cracked Alura’s hard features. “My mother always said she would take me there one day, but it’s never happened.”

  “You are more than welcome.”

  Alura narrowed her eyes. “My mother wouldn’t be though.”

  “I think she would. It all happened a long time ago.”

  “Feuds sustain themselves,” she said under her breath.

  “Sir?” Kerrigan said.

  “You’re dismissed, Argon. Come back tomorrow with the others, and we’ll get to work on formations.”

  “Yes, sir,” she said and then patted Tieran’s side before traipsing out of the arena.

  She found Fordham, Audria, and Roake seated around the dining room table, chowing down on roasted chicken, vegetables, and bread. Kerrigan reached for a skin of water and took the seat farthest from Fordham. They might be back to how things had been, but it didn’t make it any easier to see him. It only made it worse.

  “You passed?” Audria asked.

  Kerrigan nodded. “Formations tomorrow.”

  “Finally,” Roake grumbled around a bite of chicken.

  “Where’s Noda?”


  The three of them went silent.

  Kerrigan glanced between them. “What? What am I missing?”

  Audria sighed. “She’s not coming back.”

  “What?” she gasped.

  “She decided to return to Concha.”

  “But what about Avirix?” she asked about Noda’s dragon.

  Roake shook his head. “They sent her back to wherever she came from.”

  “Gods,” she whispered.

  Fordham finally looked up at her. “Her bond was weakening, and she didn’t think that she could keep doing it. When she made the decision not to stay, it broke the bond. They wouldn’t let either of them stay after that.”

  Kerrigan swallowed. Right. No one was allowed in the Society without a bonded dragon.

  “That’s terrible.”

  “They said one in three can’t hack it,” Roake said. He looked between us. “They guessed two would be gone.”

  They all gulped.

  Audria shook her head. “Noda has been frazzled for months. Think about what she said—that she wasn’t good enough. She could have made it if she had confidence. We all said we’d make it at the beginning, and we are all going to make it.” Audria said it with such veracity, as if just by proclaiming it, it would make it true.

  No one argued with her regardless. No one wanted to be next.

  It was late, and Kerrigan was at her desk, taking notes on her latest history assignment when there was a knock on the door.

  “Come in.”

  To her surprise, Valia appeared.

  “Valia!” Kerrigan gushed, rising to her feet. “I haven’t seen you in ages. How was your holiday?”

  “Hi, Kerrigan. My holiday was relatively boring. Everyone was out of the mountain on Geivhrea, and I had the run of the place.”

  Kerrigan frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that. It must have been lonely.”

  “I’ve grown accustomed to my own company. I did see several of the other stewards, and we exchanged gifts. Nothing big and extravagant like the Season party at Belcourt Palace,” Valia said with a wink.