Love is a Dance Step (Rockstars Anonymous)

by Michelle MacQueen

  “Don’t. She’d never want you to feel guilty. Let’s talk about something else. Tell me about the tour.”

  Lola’s eyes scanned the bus. She wanted to tell Asher everything—minus a few things—but not here surrounded by the others. “Can I call you when we get to D.C.? I’ll tell you everything then.”

  “Definitely. Love you.”

  “Love you too.” As she hung up, she realized those words didn’t have the same meaning they once had. It had hurt when she knew Asher’s ‘love yous’ didn’t hold the same weight hers did. But maybe now with some distance, they were on more equal footing.

  And it felt good.

  “You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend.” Nolan raised one brow.

  Lola crossed her arms and leaned her head on the window. “I don’t.”

  “Sure sounded like it.” He laughed.

  She couldn’t explain her relationship with Asher to anyone else because she’d never quite understood it herself. Maybe now she could. Her feelings had always been so muddled, but they were starting to make more sense.

  Because Asher never looked at her the way Drew had, like she was the only person in the room.

  He’d never made her crave his touch or ignore the warning bells clanging in her mind.

  21

  Drew

  “Drew, tell us about the dancer.” Mitch Hardy, the Entertainment News reporter, leaned forward in his chair and looked down at the notes on his desk. “Lola Ramirez, is that right?”

  Drew tensed. He knew when agreeing to this last-minute talk show appearance there was a possibility that would come up. Unclenching his fists, he nodded. “Yes, that is my new dancer’s name.”

  “Aw, come on, that can’t be all you’re going to give us? According to the internet—which we all know is completely accurate—” The crowd laughed. “—Lola Ramirez is a family friend. Is that how she caught the eye of Drew Stone?”

  Drew sighed. “Look, Mitch, I don’t know everyone my family does. Yes, I have a house in Gulf City, but it’s been a decade since I lived there full time. The truth of the matter is Lola auditioned, we chose her. End of story.”

  Mitch smiled. “We have a clip of that audition recorded from a cell phone. Let’s play it for you.”

  Drew watched both parts of Lola’s audition play out. At first, she looked good, better than good. Then, during her dance with Nolan, everything fell apart. How could he explain why he’d chosen her anyway? If he said it was because he just had to dance with her, they’d take that the wrong way.

  The video faded away, and Mitch looked to Drew expectantly. “I gave her a second chance.” Drew shrugged. “There wasn’t much more to it. She was a teacher at the local dance studio, and I had a hunch she was better than that audition would make it seem. So, I gave her one more chance to wow me, and Mitch, even a cynical reporter like you would have been wowed.”

  Wowed wasn’t the right word, but he wouldn’t admit dancing with Lola stole the breath from his lungs.

  Mitch chuckled. “Okay, okay, but from how I understand it, she is not dancing the lead at your shows. Everyone knows Drew Stone always dances with someone else, rarely alone. Leah Baker is almost as famous as you for that reason. Yet, the winner of your impromptu auditions is dancing backup. Is there a story there?”

  “Not an interesting one. It takes time for a dancer to get up to speed. In fact—” He paused, making a decision in the moment. “Lola will be making her debut as lead right here in D.C. Tonight.”

  Mitch sat back in surprise. “Hear that, folks? Drew Stone and Noah Clarke’s show at Capital One Arena tonight is sold out, but the scalpers will be out in force. It’s not one you want to miss.” He turned to the camera. “After the break, we’ll welcome Noah Clarke and Jo Jackson to the stage.”

  The light on the camera blinked off, and Mitch’s shoulders relaxed. He held out a hand. “Good interview, Drew. Tell me, is anything you just said true? Or is it all a cover to make sure the world doesn’t find out rock’s most eligible bachelor is no longer single?”

  Drew shook his head and gripped his hand. “Still a bachelor, but a bachelor with a phenomenal lead dancer.”

  Mitch clapped him on the shoulder. “Good luck tonight.” That was Drew’s cue to leave the stage. He passed a grinning Jo who punched him in the arm on her way by.

  Noah stopped him. “You think Lola is ready?”

  “You care how well my set goes?” Drew laughed. “I’m touched.”

  “Not particularly, but I do care if that girl is embarrassed in front of thousands of people because you rushed her.” Drew had rarely seen Noah care about anyone other than their Rockstars Anonymous group.

  “I won’t let her get embarrassed.” And he meant it. No one else saw it because Lola was a different dancer when dancing with Nolan or Noah. They didn’t see how they were together.

  She was ready.

  And she’d prove everyone wrong.

  The commercial break ended, and Noah followed Jo onto the stage, leaving Drew to face an irritated-looking Piper.

  She crossed her arms and pulled her lips to one side.

  “It’s going to be okay, Pipes.” He walked past her, itching to get out of the tight jeans his stylist forced him into for the interview.

  She stomped after him. “Of course it will because Lola will kill it tonight, but you can’t make those proclamations on TV without first discussing it with me.”

  A production assistant opened the door to Drew’s dressing room, and he walked in. Piper shut the door behind her.

  Drew busied himself stripping off his clothes.

  “Ew.” Piper groaned. “Give me some warning. I’ll come back when you’re done.”

  “Just turn around, Pipes.” He struggled out of his skinny jeans and changed into a loose fitting pair before shrugging on a simple band t-shirt. “Okay, I’m dressed.”

  Piper walked around him and retrieved some cotton pads and lotion from the table. “Come here. I’ll remove the makeup. They put too much on you.”

  “I thought you liked a man with makeup.” He laughed. Piper’s boyfriend wore so much makeup on stage he was almost unrecognizable in real life when he looked like a normal guy.

  “Please,” she groaned. “Ben looks much better without it. As do you. Bend down, you’re too tall.”

  “Somehow, I don’t think this falls under assistant duties.”

  A smile tilted her lips. “Well, I’m not just your assistant, I’m your friend. And that’s why I need to tell you you’re going to have a problem on your hands.”

  “You don’t think she’ll want to dance lead tonight?”

  “Oh, she’ll want to.” She dabbed lotion on his face with a cotton ball to remove the makeup. “But I meant the other dancers. They already treat her like a pariah, and now you’re replacing Brooke with her at a few hours’ notice. Drew, you announced it on TV without telling either of them first.”

  He rubbed a hand over his face. “Not my finest moment.”

  “It’s okay, we all know you have a problem with thinking before you speak.” She finished wiping the makeup from his face and smiled. “There you are.”

  “Thanks.”

  She nodded and turned to pack up Drew’s belongings so they could leave when Noah and Jo were done. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Shoot.”

  She hesitated for a long moment. “Why now? By all accounts, Lola’s practices with Nolan haven’t been going well. And it was worse with Noah. They were like two children who couldn’t stop giggling. Seriously, you should have seen it. What makes you think she’s ready?”

  “I danced with her.” He spoke so softly he wasn’t sure she heard him. “Two nights ago. And it was…”

  “Special?”

  “Yeah. There’s something about dancing with Lola that affects me. It no longer feels like I’m just repeating the same steps for the millionth time. Concert after concert we put on the same show, but with her, it’s new. She has this pas
sion… it’s like she needs to dance in order to breathe. I’ve never known anyone like that. The world of professional dance beats the passion out of us. Even Leah… this was a job, one she loved, but still a job.

  “Lola hasn’t reached that point yet. For her, it’s still a dream. When you spend so long living your dream, you forget it’s okay to dream of something else, something more. And Lola… she makes me want to dream again."

  He hadn’t meant to admit so much to Piper, or really even to himself. Piper’s silence was like a weight on his shoulders.

  “Drew.” She sat on the edge of the dressing table, her legs hanging over. “I know a little something about wanting someone you can’t have.”

  “I don’t want her, Piper. I want to dance with her.” At least, that was what he wanted to want.

  Piper didn’t look like she believed him, but she hopped off the table and kicked his shoes to him. “I’m going to call a car. As soon as Noah is done charming all of Washington, we need to leave.”

  “What’s the rush?” He checked the time on his phone. “We have another seven hours until the concert.”

  She smirked. “Yes, but I scheduled a nap for you, and we don’t need a cranky Drew tonight.”

  “Bet you didn’t schedule naps when you worked for Quinn and Ben,” he grumbled.

  She flashed him one more smile before yanking open the door and walking away.

  Drew didn’t see Lola until he arrived at the arena for the concert. The car pulled through the parking garage to the back entrance where a team of security led him through the bowels of the arena.

  Two girls rushed toward him, different in both looks and personalities. Brooke reached him first, her mouth already moving quickly as she spouted vitriol he barely heard. Her blonde hair shook out over her shoulders as she snapped her hard eyes to his.

  “I am the lead,” she growled. “Have I done a bad job?”

  “No.” Drew’s eyes were on the dark-haired beauty behind her.

  “Have I missed a single step?” Her hands flew to her hips.

  He sighed. “No, Brooke, you haven’t.” Tearing his eyes from the waiting Lola, he settled them on Brooke. She’d done everything asked of her, stepping in without missing a beat. “You’re an amazing dancer.”

  “Then, why am I being replaced?”

  “The job wasn’t yours permanently, and you knew that.”

  The ice faded from her eyes, replaced with a glassy quality. “I thought if I earned it, if I proved I was good enough, you’d see me. But all you see is her. None of the rest of us will get opportunities as long as you’re playing favorites.”

  He wished Leah was there. She always knew how to handle Brooke.

  “I’m not playing favorites. Lola auditioned and won the job.”

  “But she’s not any better than the rest of us. What makes her so special?”

  His eyes drifted to Lola again. “I don’t know, Brooke. I really don’t. There’s just…” If he said there was a connection, rumors would fly the moment Brooke walked away. Yet, he couldn’t think of what to call it. “There’s just more.”

  She glanced back over her shoulder before turning on her heel and marching toward Lola, bumping her as she passed.

  Lola lifted her eyes to Drew’s. They hadn’t spoken since dancing together. He didn’t know if he’d been avoiding her or if she was avoiding him. Either way, he hadn’t known what to say, to do.

  There’d been a moment he almost forgot about everything holding him back. The tour. His rules. Their age difference.

  Asher.

  Lola Ramirez was the girl his entire family thought would end up with Asher one day, the girl they wanted to bring into their family. They’d said as much at his concert in Tampa.

  He didn’t realize how long he’d been staring until Lola cleared her throat. “Um, so… I’m dancing lead tonight?”

  “Yeah.” He ran a hand through his hair and glanced to the security guards who were pretending not to listen. “I’m sorry I just sort of blurted that. I hadn’t made a decision until that moment. He was saying all this stuff about you and showed the audition video—”

  She put a hand on his arm, and he swore he could feel the warmth of her touch through his jacket. “Thank you. That’s all I wanted to say. No one has defended me on live television before.”

  He blew out a breath. “They shouldn’t even be talking about you. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault.” She looked down at her hand still on his arm and released him, stepping back. “I’ll try not to let you down.”

  He dipped his head to meet her gaze, the corner of his mouth curving up. “You’re nervous.”

  “A little.”

  “I’ve never seen you nervous before. When we dance, you seem like you know exactly what you’re doing.” And what she did to him. She made it impossible for him to want to dance with anyone else. Only her.

  She wrapped a strand of hair around her finger as she chewed her lips. “I don’t know why…” She paused. “You make me feel like I can do anything.”

  Drew’s chest tightened at her words. She claimed he gave her the confidence, but it was all her. “Lola.” He reached for her before changing his mind and letting his hand drop. “You couldn’t disappoint me if you tried.”

  “You have such faith in me.”

  No, he had faith in them. But he couldn’t say that. Instead, he only offered her a smile. “I’ll see you on stage.”

  She nodded once and turned to walk away. His gaze followed her to where Nolan waited. When Nolan wrapped an arm around her shoulders, Drew told himself the irritation was just the usual pre-concert anxiety.

  But he’d never been a good liar.

  Not even to himself.

  22

  Lola

  They never tell people the spotlight is blinding, how it obscures the faces of the crowd, putting up a barrier between you and them.

  As a background dancer for the past few weeks, Lola was used to the bright lights but not the single light that followed her around the stage, flashing as the beat quickened.

  They never tell people that the front of the stage is an entirely different world than the back, that the nerves are worse and the expectations higher.

  From the moment Lola stepped out on stage, she couldn’t think. All she could do was move. The audience became the background to her dance, the encouragement to keep going. All the nerves left her. She wasn’t good at much, but this, dancing, she could do. With thousands watching or no one, she could put on a show.

  Each dance felt like it was part of her, like Drew was just an extension of who she was. They shared their connection with thousands of people, and yet, it was still just them. She imagined the two of them at the studio in Gulf City, no interruptions, no one there to decide what they were.

  Her feet floated across the stage. When Drew brought her close, their hearts beat in time. When he pushed her away, hers nearly stopped entirely.

  Or, at least, it felt like it. In reality, her pulse quickened with each song as her legs strained to keep up and exhaustion entered her bones. After a while, pure adrenaline kept her going, and she wouldn’t, couldn’t stop.

  Her hand slid up Drew’s chest, feeling the hard muscles underneath his thin tank top. He’d already removed the button up. Each concert was the same from the outfit he wore to the dance steps to the exact moment he flung his white collared shirt to the side of the stage. It was choreographed to perfection.

  But Drew, he was different somehow. Maybe it was his proximity, but his deep voice echoed through her soul, calling her to keep going, to never stop. Dancing was as necessary as breathing on that stage, and Drew, he was the oxygen she needed to live.

  For a small sliver of time, they danced as if nothing could tear them apart, telling the stories of his songs. Tales of love and loss, wanting and needing.

  As the music faded, and the lights dimmed, Lola turned into Drew. Their chests rose and fell together, perfectly in sync.<
br />
  The audience’s cheers rushed in at her, sending adrenaline surging through her veins. A grin spread across her lips as she felt it, all of it. The noise… the lights… Drew. It was too much and not enough.

  Just like each time before, neither looked away. Drew was the famous rock star, and still, they were in this together.

  “The crowd is chanting your name.” Lola’s grin widened.

  Drew didn’t seem to notice the crowd or his name drifting to the rafters. This, being on stage, was his home.

  And Lola wanted to be here with him. Every night. She wanted to feel the strength of his fandom again and again. She wanted to stand in the bright lights dancing and living a dream she’d never let herself dream.

  They stayed staring at each other until finally Drew let her go. “We need to get off the stage.” His voice was hoarse, and she didn’t know if it was from singing or their nearness, but it snapped her out of the moment, and she stumbled back away from him, turning to follow the other dancers.

  She started running and didn’t stop until she reached the hall to the side of the stage. Only then did the roaring approval of the crowd crash in on her. She backed up against the wall and leaned over, trying to catch her breath. She’d done it, danced as the lead in front of thousands, proven to everyone, including herself, that she had what it took.

  Her heart pounded against her ribs.

  “You did it!” Nolan ran toward her, sweeping her into his arms.

  She laughed as he spun her around, and the tightness in her chest loosened. “I did, didn’t I?”

  He set her down, a grin plastered across his face. “I’m so darn proud of you. I’m not even going to ask where all that came from. I’ll admit, when Drew announced you’d be dancing lead, I was worried. But, Lo, you killed it.”

  She leaned against the wall whether for support or just to have something solid behind her, she didn’t know. Her tired legs felt like noodles beneath her. Soggy, slapped against the wall noodles.

  “So, Lola Ramirez, now that you’ve danced with a rock star in front of thousands, what do you have left to live for?” He held his fist out to her like a microphone.