The Whispers

by Perks, Heidi

  ‘What are we doing here?’ Anna asks.

  ‘Well, clearly we need to talk,’ Grace says, ‘because for starters, I’m not going anywhere. Clearwater is as much my home as it is yours, Anna. I don’t really think you can tell me to leave, do you?’

  Anna shuffles from one foot to the other. She is clearly nervous, but Grace goes on, regardless. ‘Do you have any idea how upsetting that was for me to hear? To know that you must hate me as much as you do to tell me to get out of town?’

  When Anna doesn’t respond, she says, ‘I don’t get how you can treat me like this after everything—’

  ‘After everything you’ve done for me?’ Anna breaks in with some sudden bravado. ‘Like you always say? What do you think you did for me, Grace? On that night, which I assume you’re referring to.’

  ‘I lied for you. You know that. I told the police you were with me all night.’

  ‘Only you lied, too. You admitted to me that you saw me, didn’t you? You followed me, Grace, so you saw what happened.’

  ‘Yes,’ she says, ‘I saw exactly what happened. I saw your argument. I saw Heather fall.’ She pauses, waiting for it to sink in.

  ‘You know I didn’t kill Heather,’ Anna says as they both hear the sound of a twig cracking behind them. She looks around and Grace steps forward, trying to see what has made the noise.

  ‘Who knows you’re here?’ Grace hisses.

  ‘No one,’ Anna says when she turns back. Her face is even paler now. Eventually she adds, ‘I didn’t kill Heather. You know I didn’t.’

  Grace raises her eyes. She should tell Anna about the conversations she’s been having with Marcus. How he’s been so caring towards her, so open about the investigation when she started talking to him in the café after Anna told her to leave town. It seems like they both had things they wanted to get off their chest.

  ‘I’ve been speaking to that lovely police officer,’ she tells Anna. ‘Marcus Hargreaves. He’s very handsome.’

  Anna doesn’t respond.

  ‘We’ve become quite friendly.’ She takes hold of a branch and snaps a twig off into her hand, which she twirls in circles like a majorette’s stick. ‘Did you know he always thought he missed something on that case?’

  ‘Missed what?’

  Grace can tell that she has piqued Anna’s interest at last. ‘He always found it odd that no one particularly knew Heather. He said he thought at least one of the girls was hiding something.’

  ‘Why would he tell you that?’

  Anna is still shuffling from one foot to the other, her eyes wide in a panic. Good, Grace thinks. She hated having to drag her best friend here from her celebrations with all her other friends. It shouldn’t be like that. She should be celebrating New Year’s Eve with Anna, not having to bribe her on to the cliffs to be with her. ‘Oh, I almost forgot,’ Grace says and she swings the bag off her back and throws it on to the ground in front of her, unclasping the catch.

  ‘What are you—’

  ‘I’ve got this,’ she declares, pulling out a bottle of champagne. ‘I thought we could toast the New Year together.’

  ‘Are you mad?’

  ‘Maybe only mad enough to think you might want to spend some time with me, Anna Fallow, like you once did,’ Grace spits.

  ‘I’m Robinson now,’ Anna says, ‘and I’m not staying here. This is crazy. You are crazy. I’m going back to my husband and my friends.’

  Grace flicks out a wrist and looks at her watch. It is nearly eleven thirty. She thinks Anna will still be here at midnight, whether she plans to be or not, because despite her threat to leave she isn’t actually moving.

  ‘Marcus was very interested to hear that Heather did have friends,’ Grace says.

  Anna is shaking her head, her mouth hanging open like a carp.

  ‘I told him you were good friends with Heather,’ Grace adds.

  ‘No.’

  ‘I told him this today, as a matter of fact,’ she recalls, thinking back to how Marcus had so kindly agreed to meet her before his shift, just after Graham had advised her that he wanted to take her daughter away from her.

  It has been nice to have someone listen to her, someone to talk about the past with. ‘Come on,’ she continues. ‘Let’s go to the edge of the cliff and have this.’ She waves the champagne bottle. ‘I’ve got glasses too,’ she adds cheerily.

  Grace turns and starts walking in the direction of the cliff edge. She is risking Anna turning back to the safety of the pub but she knows her best friend better than that. Anna is going to want two things tonight: the truth about the night Heather died, and what Grace has told Marcus Hargreaves.

  ‘It’ll be midnight soon,’ Grace calls over her shoulder, and sure enough she can hear Anna following her.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Anna

  I have no choice but to follow Grace, even though I long to turn and walk away. She holds all the cards, just as she always has since we were five years old. I didn’t realise it then, of course – that the little girl who had proclaimed she would be my best friend would impact my life to such lengths.

  Grace knows I can’t walk away. There is something about her and the game she is playing tonight that scares me. Rachel’s words still ring in my ears, about how this is a time for new starts, because one way or another she will surely be right.

  I follow Grace, dancing between the trees as if we are playing some kind of hide-and-seek, though she is slowing now as I knew she would be because she is reaching the part of the cliffs that were once cordoned off with police tape, and this has to be where she wanted to bring me.

  I haven’t been to this spot in over twenty years. I have walked along the path with Ben and Ethan, but never this far, never back here. But now I am, I’m taken back to that awful night as if it were only yesterday. All of it crystal clear and carved into my memory so deeply.

  Grace is sitting on the ground, running her finger under the foil of the champagne bottle. She has set two glasses beside her. There is a sudden pop as the cork flies out, which makes Grace laugh. She pats the ground next to her. ‘Come on. Sit down.’

  Obligingly I sit and absently take a glass that Grace is passing me, waiting for her to fill it. The whole idea of us sitting here on the edge of the cliffs, drinking champagne, only twenty-five minutes before the New Year, is farcical, and yet I have been lured here so frighteningly easily.

  ‘What shall we drink to?’ she asks. ‘I know, how about Zadie?’

  ‘What?’ I gasp. ‘How do you know—’

  But it seems Grace can’t be bothered to explain how she knows about the adoption as she interrupts me. ‘I followed you that night,’ she says, ‘because I couldn’t bear the thought of you being there without me, Anna. I was looking out for you,’ she adds, beginning the story.

  June 1997

  Anna was still yelling at Heather to come back from the edge when all of a sudden Heather’s foot slipped and she tumbled over.

  Grace shot up from her spot behind the tree. In an instant Anna’s shouts stopped and the air was filled with an eerie silence except for a twig that cracked beneath Grace’s trainers. It hadn’t been enough to catch Anna’s attention, thankfully. She was too absorbed in what had happened to Heather as she sank to the ground, the air seemingly sucked from within her.

  Grace deliberated whether she should run over to see what had happened or race back to Anna’s house to ensure she got home first, but in the end she did neither. Instead she watched as Anna shouted Heather’s name, which was quickly followed by the sound of Heather’s laughter.

  She hadn’t gone far, just out of sight. Grace realised she hadn’t actually fallen off the edge of the cliff at all. Now she could see Heather curled in a ball, one leg hanging over the edge. She and Anna must have known that could have been it for her, a fatal slip, but she had only gone far enough to stop Anna’s screeching.

  ‘It’s not funny,’ Anna was crying.

  ‘Yes it is. Your face is a pictu
re.’ Heather couldn’t stop laughing as she rolled on to her back.

  ‘I thought you were going to fall.’

  ‘Oh, don’t be so dramatic.’ She laughed harder still. The sound rippled through the trees to Grace.

  ‘Oh my God, Heather, I’m not. Will you just come up now?’

  ‘No!’

  ‘What do you mean, no?’

  ‘Join me down here. It’s beautiful.’ Heather’s voice sounded all hazy and dreamy as she spoke, her arms stretched out wide on the ground.

  ‘Come up now.’ Anna was scared. Grace could hear the tears in her words. ‘I mean it. I want to go.’ Heather had obviously given her quite a fright. ‘Fine, I’m going anyway. You can stay here,’ Anna cried.

  Heather continued to laugh as Grace watched Anna stomp away. She pulled back for a moment. Strangely, Anna wasn’t heading in the direction of her house, but instead was weaving through the trees.

  Grace pulled herself out from her hiding place. It was time to leave; she knew she had to go now if she was to get back before Anna, so why was she so drawn to Heather, who was making snow-angel shapes with her arms in the rough ground?

  Maybe it was Grace’s anger that pushed her on until she was almost on top of Heather, hovering over her.

  ‘What the hell are you doing here?’ Heather asked.

  Grace didn’t answer.

  Slowly Heather pulled herself up but she winced when she tried to move her leg. ‘My ankle’s caught,’ she said, reaching forward, trying to dislodge her foot. ‘Help me, for God’s sake; don’t just stand there.’ Heather tried to reach for the twine that was caught around her ankle, having to move herself closer to the edge of the cliff. ‘It’s hurting,’ she said in a panic, her hands fiddling with the twine, but still Grace was silent and still.

  It happened so suddenly then, the ground beneath Heather giving way. She slid further from Grace, her hands grappling to clutch on to clumps of soil or rock, anything that would give her purchase.

  ‘Help me, Grace,’ she yelped as Grace hopped back by instinct to avoid the crumbling soil. ‘Do something, Grace!’ she screamed. ‘Bloody help me.’

  Heather’s fingers continued to paw at the ground. She was managing to shake her ankle free from its trap when Grace stepped forward again. All she needed to do was reach down and take one of Heather’s hands and she could pull her to safety. But instead she just continued to watch as the ground slipped away again beneath her grasp and this time it took Heather and a blood-curdling scream with her.

  Grace stumbled back. In the distance she could hear Anna’s voice calling Heather’s name in panic. Anna would have heard the cry for sure. Any minute and her friend would be here and so Grace did what she had to do. She ran as fast as she could, all the way back to Anna’s house, where she slipped out of her clothes and back into bed and waited for her best friend to return and tell her what the night had taken.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Anna

  It must be almost midnight.

  The air is still and cold and yet I don’t feel it. I am warmed by the champagne that cruises through my veins, putting me in a kind of trance, though at the same time I am alert to every sound, every crackle of twig and hoot of an owl in the distance.

  ‘You let her die,’ I say, not in disbelief because I have been imagining this, but still it shocks me. I turn to Grace. ‘How on earth can you believe you were looking out for me?’ I ask. ‘How can you justify that to yourself?’

  ‘Heather wasn’t good for you,’ she tells me seriously. ‘She led you astray.’

  I stare at her. ‘Do you know what?’ I say eventually. ‘I know you don’t believe that. You’re not even trying to convince yourself, it’s just bullshit, and you know it.’

  I numbly push myself on to my feet. Grace is watching me. ‘You let her die,’ I repeat, ‘and you let me feel guilty for it. All my life you’ve held this over me. How you could ever have called yourself a friend?’ I say. ‘How could you—’

  But there are no words to finish the sentence and no point arguing with her because there is nothing worse than fighting with someone who does not even see reason.

  ‘I’ve always been a good friend to you. Always,’ Grace is saying. ‘Do you remember that time—’

  ‘Oh shut up, Grace!’ I cry. ‘Just shut up. I can’t bear to hear another memory.’

  Grace turns away and looks out to the sea, slowly taking a sip of her champagne.

  ‘All my life you’ve tried to control me, Grace, and you’re doing it again. Getting me up here, away from my friends. Well, this is where it ends.’

  ‘I haven’t tried to control you,’ she says plainly. ‘I’ve looked out for you, there’s a difference.’

  ‘Why me?’ I ask. ‘How come after twenty years you travel across the world because of me?’

  ‘I didn’t come back because of you,’ she mutters.

  ‘I think you did.’

  ‘No,’ she laughs. ‘I didn’t.’

  ‘That’s what Graham told me.’

  ‘Yes, well, you can’t believe a word my husband says.’

  ‘Only I do believe him, Grace,’ I say, taking a step closer. ‘I believe him and I don’t trust you. You let Heather die because you were jealous. You let me believe you were being a good friend to me so you always had something over me. I look back at our childhood and see it all so clearly now, the way you manipulated me right from the start. Your mum told me how you cut up my favourite dress because you didn’t want me playing with someone else.’

  ‘Oh, I bet she did,’ Grace says. ‘You were always her bloody favourite, weren’t you, Anna? She always took your side over mine.’

  ‘No she didn’t—’

  ‘I had to share her with you; but I didn’t complain because I loved you like I would have loved a sister.’

  ‘No,’ I protest, ‘you didn’t have to share me, you wanted—’

  ‘You really think I wanted it? Of course I didn’t. She was my mother, but she treated you just the same as she did me.’

  I shake my head. It isn’t the way I see it, but then what if Grace is right? Did I take a part of her mother away? I cannot ever imagine treating one of Ethan’s friends as Catherine did me. No one could come anywhere near as close to my son.

  But I cannot give Grace any more ammunition for her twisted beliefs. ‘You need to leave Clearwater,’ I tell her. ‘I don’t want you in my life any more, Grace.’

  It is ten to midnight. I have been gone for an hour. Ben must be worried sick by now. Even if I hurry I won’t make it to the Old Vic in time to see in the New Year, but I start walking, regardless.

  ‘You seem to be forgetting what I’ve told Marcus,’ she calls out as she stands, too.

  I pause, turning back. I want to ask, I really do, but I know I just need to keep on walking.

  ‘Don’t you want to know?’ Grace screeches at me. ‘I’m never leaving, Anna, you know that. I’ll be back at school next week.’

  ‘No!’ I shout as I turn and fly at her. ‘I don’t want to see you again. I don’t want you at our school.’ I hurl myself forward, pushing my hands against Grace’s chest. It is the thought of this I cannot bear the most, of seeing her every day. Of her being in Ethan’s life.

  ‘Anna!’ I hear someone calling from behind us. ‘Anna?’

  It is Nancy who comes running through the trees, followed by Rachel, and then Caitlyn. ‘What’s going on?’ she’s asking.

  ‘What are you all doing here?’ I say.

  ‘Ben thought you might be somewhere on the cliffs.’ Nancy is panting, out of breath from running; she has stopped now, her hands on her hips, bending forward slightly as she inhales deep lungfuls of air. ‘He’s been going out of his mind. He went outside to find you and when there was no sign of you we all started looking. The boys went one way …’ She throws an arm in the opposite direction.

  ‘You needn’t have come,’ I tell her. ‘I was heading back anyway.’

  ‘What th
e hell are you doing here?’ Rachel asks.

  ‘We were just talking about old times,’ Grace butts in. ‘Weren’t we, Anna? Maybe we should fill them in?’

  ‘What’s she talking about?’ Nancy asks, straightening up. ‘And will you just come away from the edge, both of you?’

  Neither Grace nor I move. I know we are both precariously close to the point where the cliffs disappear into the sea, and yet I don’t want to step away first because as soon as I join Nancy and the others, Grace will tell them everything.

  ‘No one’s going to listen to you, Nancy,’ Grace is telling her. ‘This isn’t your night tonight. It’s mine and Anna’s.’

  ‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’ Nancy says. ‘Anna, what’s she talking about? And will you come back from the edge? You’re far too close.’

  ‘We’ve been reliving our past, haven’t we?’ Grace is saying. ‘Sharing secrets.’

  ‘Anna?’ Nancy stares at me; her voice is quieter now, less strident.

  ‘Did you know that once upon a time Anna had a friend called Heather?’

  ‘Stop, Grace,’ I tell her. I feel the tears swelling in my eyes, a wave of anger beginning to uncurl from within me. Whatever I tell my friends, it needs to be my version of the story, not Grace’s.

  ‘And one night they came here to this very cliff, right about where we are now.’

  ‘Stop it,’ I say, turning to face her. ‘Just stop, Grace.’

  ‘And that night, Heather died.’

  ‘Shut up!’ I scream as I push my hands into Grace again.

  Nancy leaps towards me, pulling me back. I feel her grip on my arms but I won’t let go. My fingers dig into Grace’s skin, and I am pushing at her and Nancy is tugging at me, pulling my hands off, and Caitlyn is here now, urging me to get back, and Rachel is here too, I realise, because we are too dangerously close to the edge. All of us. Just like Nancy said we were. Too close. So close that something was bound to happen. One of us was bound to fall.