The Whispers
Page 28
‘I should go over there,’ I say to Ben, but I don’t move. His arm squeezes tighter around my shoulder.
Since New Year’s Eve, Ben and I have spoken about everything that happened the night Heather died. He has listened to me dissect it over and over. While he will never be fully able to understand how I didn’t do the right thing in telling the police, in giving them the leads they needed to possibly save her life, he has reached a level of acceptance that allows us to move forward.
‘Maybe you just need to put it to rest now,’ he told me. ‘There is nothing you can do to change what happened. Twenty-two years have passed.’
Yes, I will put it to rest for the sake of Ben and Ethan, and little Zadie, who we have just spent our first weekend with. I will put it to rest for them because I have to – but the memories will never leave me.
‘Anna?’
I turn around to see Graham behind us. He looks handsome in his dark tailored suit, a thick black coat hanging open on top of it. But behind the clothing his eyes are empty, his face drawn and gaunt. I wonder how he has been looking after himself and Matilda over the last two weeks, whether Catherine’s company has helped or made it harder for him.
‘It was a lovely service, Graham.’ Ben holds out his hand for the man to shake.
‘Thank you,’ he says, his brow furrowing as he glances at his daughter.
‘You know we are always here if you need any help,’ Ben continues.
‘I appreciate that,’ Graham says. ‘Actually, Anna, do you mind if we …?’ He gestures to the path that leads towards the graveyard. I nod and release myself from Ben’s grip and we walk away out of earshot.
‘How are you honestly doing?’ I ask him.
Graham shrugs. ‘Oh, you know, holding up, beating myself up, wondering what I could have done differently … All those things,’ he says.
‘I don’t think you could have done anything differently,’ I tell him. ‘For what it’s worth, I think you put more into your marriage than many would have done.’
Graham raises his eyes as if there is a part of him that knows this, but it won’t stop him from questioning himself anyway. ‘The detective, the one who says he knew Grace,’ Graham goes on, ‘Hargreaves?’
I nod. ‘Yes?’
‘He said something odd to me the other day. He said he thought Grace seemed tormented the last time he saw her, on New Year’s Eve.’
I recall Marcus’s words, how he wondered whether Grace might have jumped that night on the cliffs. ‘Graham, it was an accident,’ I say. ‘She slipped, she fell. It was nothing more than that.’
Graham nods. ‘You honestly think that?’
‘Yes,’ I say. ‘I honestly do.’
The truth is, three things could have happened that night. She fell. She jumped. Or she was pushed. We will never know for certain, but after the detective left on New Year’s Day I thought about what he had suggested and realised I didn’t believe Grace had jumped for one minute. That wasn’t Grace. However complex she might have been, she was a fighter, and she was here to stay. ‘I’m never leaving Clearwater,’ she had told me that night.
I glance up at the swathe of people making their way back towards their cars lining the long path out of the cemetery. She was right, I think. At least she got her way in the end.
She will never leave now.
Acknowledgements
Writing The Whispers in the middle of a pandemic has at times been challenging, given the addition of home schooling to my day, but at others a welcome break from the weird and scary news surrounding us.
I was lucky enough to be able to visit Portland in Dorset in the summer and this was thanks to Lorna Phipps. Before this trip I was struggling to find the fictional town of Clearwater’s ‘place’ but as soon as I stayed in Portland I was inspired to base Clearwater on this area.
As always there are many people who have helped me write this book, and not least the outstanding team who support me. My agent, Nelle Andrew, who continues to be a huge and important influence on my writing, and who I couldn’t be without. And the team at RML: Alexandra Cliff, Rachel Mills and Charlotte Bowerman.
My editor in the UK, Emily Griffin, who manages to turn the book around for the better at each and every stage. I so love working with you, Emily, you are the best. And everyone else in the Cornerstone team who work fantastically hard to get the books into stores and get the word out there, including: Jess Ballance, Rachel Kennedy, Natalia Cacciatore, Claire Simmonds, Emma Grey Gelder, Linda Hodgson, Helen Wynn-Smith, Mat Watterson, Cara Conquest, Barbora Sabolova and Rachel Campbell.
I am so excited for you to read this book. I have loved writing it. Readers and bloggers are integral to what I do and I am so grateful to all of you for choosing me, reviewing my books, recommending them and writing to tell me what you think.
The Whispers is about friends – new and old, and it is the intricacies of these friendships that I have enjoyed exploring. I am lucky to have the best friends in my life, some who have been in it for as long as I can remember, others who I have met more recently. Thank you all for your love and support.
And of course, as always, to my family. My mum, who I am incredibly lucky to have around the corner, which has meant I have been able to see her throughout the year, even if it has been through a window!
My husband, John, thank you for your continued support and encouragement and all the laughs. Lockdown brought your job home and we are all so lucky to have you here.
Finally, to my amazing children, Bethany and Joseph, who are my world. I am loving watching you grow into the wonderful people you are. Thank you for being so special and for allowing me the time to write around being your mum. Reach for the stars; you can do anything you put your mind to.
Make The Whispers your next book club pick
Reading Questions
How did you respond to the different kinds of female friendship represented in the novel? Which of Anna’s friends did you empathise most with and did this change as the novel progressed?
What differences did you see in the way the novel portrays childhood friendship and adult friendship? Do you think one type is seen as more positive than the other?
In what ways does the novel explore the complexities of being a parent, and particularly the bond between a mother and her child?
How did the sections which focussed on the parents at the school gate contribute to the overall narrative? Did you like the device?
In what ways do you think the novel explores the concept of control?
How did your ability to empathise with Anna and Grace shift as the novel progressed?
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First published in Great Britain by Century in 2021
Copyright © Heidi Perks 2021
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ISBN: 978-1-473-57223-2
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