Absolute Shopping Addict- Volume 1

by Way Woo

  Except for the shopping addiction, of course. Jake thought that he was a pretty ordinary person, if he didn’t count his addiction to buying things online.

  But that was if you didn’t actually know him, like his friends and family.

  According to them, his obsession with shopping was almost legendary.

  It got to the point where his parents thought about giving him some time off at a sanitarium to get over his shopping addiction.

  And as Jake rushed towards one of the orcs at the edge of the chamber, he thought that it was this shopping addiction of his that caused him to end up here, in a damp cave with only some torches and rocks for lighting, cracking the jaw of a rather ugly and muscular orc with a baseball bat.

  Episode 6

  ***

  Right before the first orc he ran into got a head full of baseball bat, Jake Smithson, shopping addict of Nohas, was holding his bat like he was back at home on a home-run derby.

  This makes me wish I spent more time training with my local softball team, Jake thought, not surprised that his body was moving by muscle memory as soon as he planted his feet.

  A bunch of guys around the neighborhood and office used to play softball on the weekends, and they dragged me along for the ride. It made for a good few hours for actually going out and doing something, and it also got me out of trouble with my folks for being too much of a shut-in.

  And now, something I do to keep my work life “healthy” turns out to be a really useful skill here?

  Color me surprised.

  The orc’s groaning knocked him out of his thoughts, and before Jake knew it, a massive meaty orc fist came hurtling towards his face.

  Odd, Jake thought as he saw the punch coming in slow motion, his confusion slowly being replaced with confidence as he eased himself past it. I could tie my shoelaces before this orc’s fist would end up anywhere near my face!

  As the fist sailed past him, Jake grinned, remembering nicer days from the past. Even middle school me could dodge a punch that lame.

  The old bloodlust that he had kept hidden inside himself began to swell forth, and as it did, the surge of adrenaline reminded him of that time he gained the moniker Jake “Mad Dog” Smithson, the guy who walked away, bloodied but unbowed, from a five-on-one fight against the high school bullies giving him a bad time.

  But as Jake’s grin widened to what he personally thought as “serial killer level”, he didn’t know that the orcs he was dealing with were only downgrades that exist only within the beginner’s area.

  But it didn’t matter, as the world immediately kicked back into high gear as Jake reared up again and swung for the same orc, knocking him on the head with a very satisfying thwack.

  However, the orc’s skull seemed to have the resilience of a bicycle helmet, causing Jake’s hands to go numb.

  He didn’t stop, yelling “LIMITED! SALE!” each time he swung down, almost like how a martial artist yelled right before chopping down a set of tiles.

  This bat is pretty reliable, he thought as he was close to ten minutes battling the orc. It really earned the name Hardened Bat. I’ve been smacking this orc around for goodness knows how long, and I haven’t felt this thing give way yet.

  [Best used when swinging for the fences or at the heads of goblins.]

  Something popped out of the corner of his eye.

  [Unbreakable through conventional use.]

  Well now, Jake thought as he saw the additional flavor text. Guess I don’t have to worry about the bat for now – I can use this on the orcs all I like.

  The sounds of hardened ebony wood smacking against orcish skull echoed in the cavern, all the while Jake considered how he was bringing his full strength to bear when hitting the orc.

  Judging by how hard he was swinging, Jake hypothesized that he gained the equivalent amount of strength a normal person would after going through general weight training in a gym for a few years.

  This guy should have been taken down a few minutes ago! Jake thought, and swung in frustration at the orc’s head a little harder than he wanted – he felt a strain in one of his shoulders.

  Thud.

  His extra effort paid off, as the orc finally tottered and fell, the life going out of its eyes.

  Close to half an hour, Jake thought, calculating the time he took based on the “LIMITED SALE TIME REMAINING” counter at the corner of his eye. I had to yank one of them so that I’d beat it up in close enough quarters for me to swing this bat, and to dodge the orc’s fists. This is taking too long for my liking.

  And as the now-deceased orc began to vanish, Jake gave it a dispassionate look, the one a worker wears while looking at his phone and waiting for a payday deposit alarm to come.

  As soon as he turned his head, a most welcome chime resounded in his ear, and at the corner of his eye, he saw his reward...

  [300 points earned.]

  ...and his jaw dropped.

  “Eh?”

  Wait a minute, Jake thought, crushed with disappointment as if his monthly salary had an undisclosed deduction. These orcs were much stronger than the goblins I took care of before! What’s going on?

  What Jake didn’t know was that the goblin scouting party that attacked Brino were some kind of bonus monsters Nohas prepared to train new adventurers – and that was why those goblins gave a lot more points than normal.

  These orcs weren’t made for training new adventurers, they were just located in the beginner-friendly area.

  Jake sighed, as he spent a lot of energy just for taking down one orc. This is going to get tougher and tougher. 300 points – still need 2500 more, meaning I need to take down 9 orcs.

  He looked ahead in the gloom to where several other orcs were lying in wait.

  No matter how fucked up I felt about working at my company, I just couldn’t quit. This feels similar, somehow, he thought. I mean, this is the only way to make money. If I stop now, I can’t shop. And if I can’t shop, what’s the point of me being here?

  Well, Jake thought, as the old saying goes, ‘nothing worthwhile comes easy’.

  He turned to another orc who had spotted him running into the corridor and was now closing in on him.

  Jake sighed and hefted his bat.

  “Looks like I’m running the graveyard shift today! Come on!”

  Another thud of many echoed in the cavern.

  ***

  Much blood, sweat, and tears later, Jake smiled the smile of the victorious as he was making his way back to Brino from his orc incursion.

  The smile stretched even wider as a pleasant surprise came his way.

  [As a bonus to our loyal subscribers, you will receive a Book of Strength as a gift after you have purchased from our shop 3 times.]

  The telltale chime and alert pointed Jake to the inventory, and Jake took out the box and began unpacking the box with a finesse borne of someone who has done the same thing many, many times.

  The sound the tape made as it was ripped from the package was music to Jake’s ears, and a welcome reprieve from all the orcs he’d been fighting.

  While the clothes he was wearing – the same ones he wore at the time of his summoning – were soaked with the sweat of his toil and the blood of his enemies, the smile he was wearing said that all of his hardship was definitely worth it.

  If everyone in Nohas could smile like Jake did at that moment, it would be the happiest place in the entire universe.

  ***

  Opening packages never changes, Jake thought, hearing an angelic choir in his mind as he opened the cardboard box. After removing the crumpled paper bags used to hold the item steady, he looked within to see an extremely luxurious book that made his eyes light up and mood lighten just by looking at it.

  He let out an admiring whistle. These guys really know everything that needs to be known about online shopping.

  The design of a package is one of the core bases of an online store, and Jake knew this by heart. He found that he bought more items and more often
from sellers who paid attention to this rule.

  Despite it being a very superficial rule and a blatant appeal to vanity, Jake liked it. It was kind of like the tasty cherry on top of a delicious fudge sundae. Sure, the item inside is what you buy, but how the package is presented speaks more about how serious the store takes their business.

  It also needs to be said that Jake was, in his own words, extremely vain ...and that he liked to shop to curb his addiction and indulge his vanity at the same time.

  It’s this feeling, this rush, this excitement, he thought. Once you’re done buying, the feeling is gone, and it’s on to the next purchase. Oh wait, my hands are dirty. I am NOT touching this beautiful book with my hands full of dead orc.

  And after wiping his hands off on his pants, he flipped open the cover to his brand-new book.

  [Opus of Defense: Gives you an additional 2 to physical defense (this is a hidden stat).]

  Unlike last time, Jake took a moment to read the additional flavor text he missed the last time he bought an item from the Hero Shop.

  [We’ve taken some time to come up with the perfect item for you: a book that increases physical defense is really hard to get. Upon reading this book, you gain tougher skin and harder bones, for that extra bit of safety when fighting monsters. As your physical defense grows, you will slowly but surely defend against harder attacks! Isn’t it great to have a head start on that? Thanks for staying loyal to the Hero Shop, and we hope for more business from you in the future!]

  [Would you like to read the book? ]

  Of course I should read it, Jake thought before opening the cover. This is one of those important stats needed when hunting monsters. Humans are, by nature, squishy.

  He turned the pages, and as Jake was reading passages from the book, he could feel the change just as much as he could see the essence of the book itself flowing to him.

  Jake could not describe it – it sort of felt like he was becoming harder, more solid.

  He flexed his arms to see that his biceps had more definition to them and felt them one by one – they not only improved in shape, but in feeling as well – they felt harder. At the same time, he also noticed that the skin on his arms had also looked more vibrant and flexible.

  After the book disappeared giving its knowledge to Jake, he looked at the newly-changed status window.

  [Name: Jake Smithson

  Level: 1

  Class: Bargain Hunter

  Basic stats

  Power: 13

  Dexterity: 13

  Intelligence: 13

  Physical Defense: 2

  Skill: Shopping (Hero Shop currently in beta)]

  All right, I got a new stat category! I think it started out as zero before I read that book, though. Guess I’m not THAT squishy compared to other players now!

  After closing the status window, Jake looked to his inventory to see that all of the skill and stat up books he read was still there, but all of them were marked with “Read”.

  “Wait a minute, the books didn’t disappear after I read them?” Jake asked himself before checking the flavor text on the books he bought. Sure enough, all of the ones marked with “Read” had an additional line of flavor text added to them.

  [This item has already been used and can be dropped from your inventory without any penalty. Discard? Yes/No]

  Jake was torn. On one hand, he wanted to keep inventory space open. On the other, it was a proof of him making an actual honest-to-goodness purchase from all the points he gained smashing up goblins with rocks and whacking orc heads with a baseball bat. He also considered the sentimental value and that he might be able to put these on a coffee table if he had a chance.

  He was about to make a decision when he reflexively opened his mouth and yawned rather loudly.

  Well crud, he thought. All that orc bashing left me a bit tired. I think I’ll take a break. Even marathon shoppers need to relax once in a while. Besides, there won’t be any new events after this… right?

  Jake stood up and began the long walk back towards Brino and to its nice inn, taking care to read the Book of Strength en route, and keeping all the books he read as a souvenir of his adventures.

  Plus, if he had a chance to have a place to call his own, he’d store and display all the books on a shelf and place it in a prominent location.

  He was halfway back to Brino and already picturing how he’d design the first house he’d buy… unfortunately, that was when the Hero Shop decided to take up Jake on his offer of defying fate and dropped a new push notification on him.

  [Featured Event: Hidden Stat Extravaganza! This event is limited only for customers with at least one hidden stat! 10% off all books of hidden stats! 30% off on all orders!]

  Oh, nice. A seasonal event. Kinda like those summer sales. I get it – if I bought a pair of board shorts, I can’t shortchange myself and skip out on the goggles, the sun cream, and the waterproof digital camera for underwater picture taking.

  Naturally, Jake found himself opening the Seasonal Event menu, because one can’t be called a proper bargain hunter without buying one of those packages.

  [Mana Up! Do you believe in magic? Yes, we do! And we can give you the stats so even YOU can learn magic and set monsters on fire! Only for 2000 points.]

  [Magic Defense Up! Are you the type of player who runs away when a magician starts throwing fireballs at you? Buy this now and laugh in the face of danger! 4500 points only!]

  [Luck Up! You have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky? With this, now you can really feel lucky! Dodging undodgeable blows and scoring critical hits is now within your reach! Only 4000 points!]

  Jake checked the items carefully, his practiced eye looking for a way to get all of them for less…

  Discount rate of bulk purchase? Yes, here it is.

  [You can purchase all three as a bundle for 7000 points! And if you buy this Hidden Stat Bundle, we’ll throw in a Tome of Guidance (All Stats +1 except Hidden stats) absolutely free!]

  Despite the amazing offer, Jake continued walking.

  This is unbelievable! Jake thought. It’s incredible. It’s attractive. And it even has a freebie! If it was lemon-scented I would have snatched this up in a heartbeat – wait, how long is this offer lasting?

  [Our Hidden Stat Extravaganza will be available for the next two days! ]

  Jake’s mood quickly did the fastest 180 degree turn imaginable.

  WHAT? I have to get 7000 points within two days?

  I… I don’t have time!

  But… I have to try it.

  No… I HAVE TO BUY IT!

  With the fatigue from his system replaced with an urgency to gain 6800 points in 48 hours, Jake made a mad dash across the meadow back towards Brino.

  ***

  Back in Brino, strange matters were afoot.

  “If you do not obey the rules from now on, you’re out of the guild,” one of the knights said towards a group of lightly armored adventurers, crossing his arms.

  As the knight said this, very few could see the judging eyes of a cloaked young man viewing the situation.

  “This reminds me of that book I read in college,” the young man muttered before vanishing in the shadows, “the one with the boys on the island.”

  A few minutes later, in an empty part of Brino, a brown cloak emerged from the shadowed alleys, and with it the young man. He procured a scroll and a small piece of coal and started writing down what he knew.

  It took less than a day for the power structure to be established in Brino.

  Those with strong powers made groups and the rules.

  And they force other, weaker adventurers to obey the rules.

  The young man quoted one of the knights.

  "This is to prevent problems from occurring in advance, and I would appreciate it if you followed me."

  He continued writing.

  On the surface, their actions seem reasonable, as there is neither law enforcement nor incarceration in this brave new world. There ar
e no punishments for crimes here. It is like the Wild West in America.

  But if you take the time to think about it, someone may do something they should not do out of malice.

  Which is why powerful adventurers have created rules to prevent them.

  If that’s the case, then who watches the watchmen? Who keeps the stronger adventurers in line and stops them from abusing their power?

  Who or what gave them the right over others? Nobody did. It was just pure and simple power.

  And these guilds… this is less a way of keeping order and more a way of gaining power.

  As the cloaked man finished his writing, he rolled up the scroll and tucked it away in what looked like a bandolier for safe keeping and articulated the thought that bothered him all along.

  I cannot deal with all of them myself.

  ***

  When the man in the cloak arrived on Nohas, he found out that he had an extremely useful adventurer class: the assassin.

  And as an assassin, the skill given to him was stealth.

  True to form, nobody knew that he had such a skill; he did not employ his stealth during the battle with the goblins.

  After the battle, he took some time to go to the outskirts of the village and tested out his personal skill in secret, figuring out how it worked in a relatively short time.

  For all its benefits – he could become literally invisible – it also had its fair share of disadvantages. One, stealth did not affect his attack power or strength, and it was not good for killing monsters. Also, he was struck by a stone thrown while he was in stealth and it hurt him more than when he was hit in the shoulder by a goblin spear during the first battle for Brino.

  Also, someone was able to sense him while he was invisible.

  All in all, his personal skill wasn’t appropriate for larger-scale battlefields where many adventurers and monsters are battling each other.

  Thus, the adventurer named Emmanuel did not gain much experience or attention during that first battle, and why the stronger adventurers did not have any interest in him.

  This was also why Emmanuel could only watch as the stronger adventurers started pushing the weaker ones around.