by Amy Watkins
“Let me show you the crazy emails I get.” I stood up to get my laptop.
“Here, use mine.” Caroline said.
I logged on to my email and showed her all the crazy shit I had been getting. I showed her the crazy texts on my phone, as well.
Caroline took my phone to see the texts better. “Hm. Ms. Naomi, look at what she sent to Ethan.” They both shook their heads in disbelief as they scrolled through my phone.
I continued to go through the messages on her laptop.
“Tracy mentioned Angela in this text. How does she know about her?” my mom asked.
“I don’t know.” My mom’s question really threw me for a loop.
Naomi suggested, “Maybe Angela is working with Tracy. Maybe they both trying to set you up.”
The comment made me wonder, Tracy did know a lot of personal information. Some stuff only Angela and I knew. How would she know unless Angela was talking to her?
“Nah, I don’t think so. Angela is a good girl. She wouldn’t do that to me.”
“How you know? How well do you know this Angela?” Naomi asked.
“Well, I know she’s Christian. She goes to church every Sunday. Like you, mom.”
They both laughed at me.
“She is not like me. I practice what I preach.” Naomi gibed.
“Yeah. If she so Christian, why she sleeping with you? You married. She ain’t that Christian,” Caroline argued.
I looked at her sideways, “You Christian and you slept with me.”
“Yes, but I asked for forgiveness, I am forgiven. She still sleeping with you. Real Christians repent and stop sinning. She not Christian, she a hypocrite. This girl is not to be trusted.”
Mom added, “Yep, it says that in the Bible, 1 John 3:8. ‘Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil.’ So, she a child of the devil. Sounds like you done jumped out the frying pan and into the fire. Angela’s worse than Tracy.”
I pondered that and worried that they were right. I may have been wrong about Tracy but they saw her for what she was long before I did. Maybe I was wrong about Angela, too. I wondered if I was making another dumb decision by being with her. I wondered if I should cut my losses and move back to Kentucky. I wondered, but my heart was completely in love with her and I didn’t want to give that up. So, I decided to proceed with caution, a lot of caution. I may love her but I refused to be dumb about it. I’d still watch my back and keep my eyes open to see if she really was out to hurt me.
I spent a week with Trinity and then left to go back to Virginia Beach. I started getting text messages again before I even crossed state lines, several of them were very disturbing.
Unknown: Hey Ethan, this is Jonathan. I really enjoyed this week with you away. Sorry, I used your shirt to wipe my dick off after me and Angela finished fucking.
When I got back to Angela’s house, I noticed my laundry was neatly washed and folded. “Angela, you washed my clothes?”
“So?” she shrugged. “They were dirty and I thought I’d do you a favor while you were away.”
I didn’t like that answer and grew more suspicious, but it didn’t stop me from sleeping with her that night. The next morning, I got another text.
Unknown: Ethan, I am watching a video Angela sent to me of you two having sex. She said it’s from last night. She said she’d send it to Tracy. Don’t worry though, man, I got your back. I can send it to the clinic where she works instead. That way it backfires on her.
Me: No, don’t send it to her job. Don’t send it to anyone. Send it to me.
There was no response. Between all the texts, threats, police reports, rumors, and my child fighting for her life in a Kentucky NICU, I felt like I was going crazy. Over the next few weeks, the texts became more intense and came more frequently.
Unknown: Hey Ethan, this is Tracy, your WIFE! Yeah, you don’t know Angela like I do. That’s my girl. We go way back. I know Jonathan too. We got your ass. You will be paying me your whole check for the rest of your life.
Unknown: Hey Ethan. Angela is not who you think she is. Jonathan and Angela are together. Remember when Angela went to D.C. for her cousin’s wedding? That was a lie. She really went to spend the weekend with Jonathan. They have an open relationship. She is just using you. She be hooking up with Jonathan whenever you are at work. She claims she is going to dance practice at church but she’s really sucking Jonathan’s dick while her daughter is at dance practice. Whenever you kiss her you are really tasting his dick. Is it yum?
I got messages every day, multiple times a day, and I couldn’t take it anymore. How did the person texting me know so many details about my personal life? How did they know about Jonathan? I hadn’t told anyone about him. How did they know Angela was going to dance practice every week? I hadn’t told anyone about that, either. How did they know when Angela and I had sex?
Angela was the only person who knew these personal details about our life. She must have been telling someone about it and whoever that was had been texting me. What I couldn’t figure was why Angela would tell anyone about us knowing the risks involved. Could these text messages be true? Was Angela really working with Tracy? Was she really with Jonathan? Was I her sidepiece? Was she using me? I had to find out the truth.
Angela had just left with Abigail for dance practice so I decided to follow her. I saw her car parked in the church parking lot, but they had not gone into the building yet. I was fuming when I pulled in behind her. I got out of the car, shut my door, and approached the driver’s side.
I knocked on the window, startling her. “We need to talk!”
Shrugging, she rolled down the window. “Okay?”
“Thought you guys had dance practice? Why are you still sitting in the car in the parking lot?”
“The doors to the church aren’t open yet. We have to wait for Janet to let us in.” She spoke slowly as if she was confused why I was giving her the third degree. Right then, Janet pulled up next to us.
“Hey, girl!” she waved.
“Hey Janet!” Angela responded. “Abigail, go in with Janet, I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Okay,” Abigail obeyed.
“What really happened between you and Jonathan,” I asked after I made sure Abigail was far enough away from the car that she couldn’t hear our conversation. “I know you said you made out, but I believe there is more.”
“What you mean by more?”
I demanded, “Did you fuck him? Have you been fucking him? Do you still have feelings for him?”
She was shocked. “What? No, I mean, it’s not like that.”
“Oh really? Then what is it like? What really happened that night?”
“Why does it matter? It happened before you.”
“Caroline happened before you but you still want to know every little detail. Well, so do I.”
We bickered a little more before she broke down and explained that kissing led to touching, which led to him going down on her.
“He ate you out?” I was angry. “You lied to me. You said you guys just messed around. You never said you had sex.”
“I didn’t lie to you. I just didn’t give you details. I didn’t think you wanted to know details. We had Bill Clinton sex, not sex sex. He didn’t stick his dick in me.”
“Really, you expect me to believe that?”
“Well, It’s true.”
“Really? You think a guy would just eat you out and not have sex with you. No! That doesn’t happen. I don’t believe you.”
“I’m not lying!” she yelled.
“Well, how am I supposed to believe you? You lied to me when you said y’all just messed around. Messing around and having oral sex are two different things” I jeered. “I’m pretty sure the dictionary has two different meanings.”
She was heated, “What are you tripping about? First of all, that shit with Jonathan happened way before you and I even started to date. Secondly, how can you even
be mad at me when you actually had intercourse with someone else and you have a baby with that someone. You are the liar. You straight out told me you had sex with no one and yet, you was fucking Caroline. You lied to me and you lied about me. But you sitting here chastising me about Jonathan?”
The baby was Angela’s trump card and she seemed to bring it up during every disagreement.
“I wasn’t fucking Caroline, I only had sex with her once. And we are not talking about me and Caroline. We are talking about you and Jonathan. Also, I never had any strong feelings for her like you have or had for Jonathan.”
In my mind, I felt like she wasn’t being honest about how she really felt about Jonathan. She did say he was just her friend and that they talked only every so often. But the text messages I got had way too much detail. I knew she wasn’t being completely honest. There had to be something more. I knew plenty of guys who hit up old flames when they wanted to get some ass. It’s part of their game. Call an old girlfriend every now and again to check up on her. Then when she had some trouble with her man, dude would be there to comfort her and get his dick wet. And I felt like that’s what was going on with Jonathan and Angela.
“You sure you didn’t have intercourse with him?”
“Yes, I’m sure!” she fumed.
I shook my head. “I don’t believe it. No guy does that and doesn’t get something in return. Was that the only time you guys ‘messed around’ or were there other times?” I asked.
Angela lowered her head, “There were other times, too.”
“What! The fuck? And he ate you out then, too?”
Angela nodded.
“And, what…what else. You blow him?”
Angela nodded her head. I got more heated punching the air and then the dashboard. She lay a hand on my arm, “But, that was years ago when we were in college.”
“So, this is an ongoing thing. You guys get together, kiss and mess around, and, and…” I was so upset I couldn’t get the words out. I just cupped my hands together and made kissing and fucking noises.
I knew Jonathan’s intentions; he was testing the waters. He was trying to see how far she would go. He wanted to go all the way with her and I swore to myself that’s what would happen the next time they got together. He’d get her to go all the way. Everyone knows oral sex is only foreplay. Sex is the goal, so the next step had to be sex, if they hadn’t already fucked. Was Angela Jonathan’s side chick and he was her back-burner dick?
Angela did tell me that she doesn’t do casual sex, but wasn’t the times with Jonathan casual sex? She said she did it for pleasure, only. Sounds like the classic definition of casual sex to me. So, she lied to me about that, too. What else was she lying about? Was she lying about not having intercourse with Jonathan? Were they still having intercourse? Were they together? Was she working with Tracy? Were all the rumors true?
“Do you love him?” I asked.
“Only as a friend. I’m not in love with him. I’m in love with you.”
“You expect me to believe that? Really?”
Angela got so mad she stopped talking. She stomped her foot and crossed her arms, breathing heavily.
“So, are you guys together? Do you plan on getting together?”
“No,” Angela growled through clenched teeth.
“Did you ever talk about getting back together?”
“He asked me if he should leave his wife for me like ten years ago and I told him no. I’m not a homewrecker. I’d never want to break up a marriage. We never talked about it since then.”
“But you did talk about it, right?” I bitterly nodded my head. She breathed heavier and angrier.
That was all I needed to hear. In my mind, they still had a connection. Something more than a regular friendship that would put a damper on our relationship. How could I get past that? If Angela went to hang with her college buddies and he was there, would sparks fly and then they’d be all over each other? I couldn’t handle that type of heartache again. He probably still called her pet names like “beautiful,” and “boo”.
Angela retorted, “Well, at least I didn’t fuck him like you fucked Caroline.”
Caroline and I were nothing like Jonathan and Angela. I was never in love with her and I was never in a relationship with her. Jonathan and Angela had a deep connection.
“That’s different.” I argued.
“Doesn’t sound so different to me. You guys were friends and you fucked. That’s worse than what I did with Jonathan. We were friends and we had oral sex. Yet you expect me to be okay with you and Caroline and your ongoing friendship. I have to be comfortable with you going to Kentucky and staying with her for weeks; but you are not comfortable with Jonathan and we haven’t even seen each other since before you and I started talking. What a fucking double standard.”
“It’s not the same.” I ground through clenched teeth.
This was going nowhere, so I dropped it, got out of the car and into my own, and then sped away. The whole Jonathan thing continued to bother me, though. Angela’s answers didn’t make sense to me. But what place did I have? We were not together; well, not officially, and I was the one who decided to take it slow. But in my heart, Angela was my woman and I planned on marrying her as soon as my divorce was final. I’d have to make it clear that if I married her, then Jonathan would have to go. If the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn’t stay friends with an ex who she felt uncomfortable with.
When Angela returned from dance practice that evening, I kissed her and apologized. She accepted my apology and reassured me that Jonathan was nothing to worry about. We went about our life and, even though I felt uncomfortable that Jonathan was lurking in the background, I kept my mouth shut, letting the worry fester.
My day in court was fast approaching and I had still not been able to retain the lawyer Naomi and Caroline promised. I couldn’t afford to hire a lawyer myself and I worried the judge would eat me alive in court if I represented myself again. Angela could see my frustration, so she asked, “Hey, love. I know your court date is coming up. You all set?”
I didn’t want her to worry so I was reluctant to tell her—but I did. She offered to front me the money but I didn’t want to take it. I had always been independent and felt less than a man depending on someone else. She insisted, saying she was tired of seeing me suffer; that it was in both our interests for me to have a decent lawyer. I relented and promised to pay her back.
The messages from unknown never stopped, they only got worse. There were more details of Angela’s affair with Jonathan.
Unknown: Angela is a liar. We didn’t just have oral sex. We had way more than that. I’m still fucking her. Tracy, Angela, and I? We all fuckin.
There were more claims of Angela and Tracy being in cahoots.
Unknown: Hey Ethan, this is Tracy. You thought you could leave me without paying up? That’s why I got my girl Angela to set your ass up. I got you now.
There were even claims of Jonathan and Judge Wilcox being in cahoots with Tracy.
Unknown: Ethan, I feel so sorry for you, man. You have no idea what you are getting into. Tracy, Angela, Jonathan, Judge Wilcox and I are in the Fraternal Order of Wilx. It’s a secret sex society. Why else do you think Judge Wilcox took Tracy’s side. Why else you think Jonathan is letting you fuck his girl. Why else you think I know so much of your business? I think it’s fucked up what they are trying to do to you which is why I’m reaching out. Stay away. Go back to your little town in Kentucky. You will be safe there. Right now, you are not safe.
Was it really possible that Tracy was involved in a secret society? The way that Judge Wilcox looked at Tracy during our hearing and sided with her without even bothering to look at the evidence? It made sense if there was collusion. But what about Angela? That didn’t make sense. Why would she give me money if she was trying to set me up? What was Angela’s real angle? What was her real goal?
I called my mom. I needed someone to help
me sort out all the foolishness. They did not sound surprised.
“Ethan, see? I knew there was something wrong with that girl. Sounds to me like you got yourself another Tracy. They scheme and they plot to get what they want. I know you think Angela is a good girl, but she is not. Things are obviously not what they seem with this girl. You need to leave her,” Naomi complained.
“I understand what you are saying, but Angela seems so genuine. We are good friends and I can’t see her scheming against me.”
“Well, I don’t see any other explanation. These messages contain information that only you two know, so if it’s not you then it must be her. Damn, I was really hoping Angela would be different, but obviously she’s not. You need to watch your back,” Naomi warned.
“Yeah, maybe,” I sadly responded. I didn’t want to believe Angela was out to hurt me but there was no other explanation.
“Not maybe. Definitely. Besides, you promised me you wouldn’t open any other doors yet and it sounding to me like you tryna open some doors. You jumping out of the pot and right into the fire. Tracy was the pot and Angela is the fire. She sounds way worse than Tracy. You need to leave Angela alone. This is such a mess. You know that God don’t bless no mess.”
I shook my index finger at her. “I’m not opening new doors before closing the old ones. Angela and I are still just friends. Besides, me and Tracy are done—that chapter of my life is over. I ain’t never getting back with her. She cheated on me. In the Bible it says it’s okay to divorce a cheating wife. And all this filing false police reports and stuff, it’s not safe. So, you don’t have to ever worry about me getting back with Tracy,” I argued.
“That chapter won’t be over until you get a divorce. And let’s not forget you got a baby now.” She pointed at Caroline, “This chapter is wide open,” Naomi retorted.
I wanted to tell Naomi how I really felt about Angela. She was more than my friend; Angela was my lover. I so wanted to admit that I was in love with her and wanted to marry her. But I knew she’d be pissed at me for breaking my promise to her if I had, and then they’d probably be even more suspicious of Angela.