Tears welled up in her eyes, with such fear that it could be true. Sarah clenched her fists and pushed back the emotions, trying to steel herself for the worst. Right now, she wouldn’t draw conclusions until she’d talked with Alec. There was only one way to know for certain who was telling the truth.
She sat down in a chair to wait, reminding herself that Ben could be wrong. Alec might have been protecting her instead. She clung to the thought, praying it was true.
The sound of the room door opening caught her attention, and Alec came inside, looking sheepish. “Sorry about that. The front desk was having trouble with a guest who was hung over from a night of partying.”
She nodded and then asked, “Could I borrow your phone a moment?”
Alec handed it over without hesitation and unlocked the security code. “Here. Or you can call anyone on the hotel phone if you need to.”
The tightness in her stomach didn’t ease, despite his willingness to give over the cell phone. Yet, he acted like a man with nothing to hide, which was a positive sign.
“I’d like you to call your assistant,” she said. “There’s something I need to ask her.”
There was a slight furrow in his brow. The reaction deepened her uneasiness, but she forced herself to confront Alec. She needed to know the truth about whether he had any business dealings with Ben.
“What is this about, Sarah?”
The fear deepened, but she said, “Tell me her number.”
This time, his expression tensed. “Not until you tell me what this is about. Something happened, and I deserve to know what it is.” In that moment, she caught a glimpse of a ruthless businessman. There was no trace of sympathy or kindness.
A part of her withered at the sight of it. She knew. Deep in her bones, she knew that Ben had told her the truth. She met his gaze and confronted Alec. “You’re having a business meeting with my ex, aren’t you? It’s in a few days.”
His stony expression never changed. For a pause, he said nothing but continued to stare at her. She waited for him to lie about it, but instead he admitted, “Our meeting is on Tuesday, yes.”
How could he? She forced herself to sit down on the bed. Her cheeks were burning with humiliation, and she felt as if Alec had stabbed her in the gut. Why had he kept this from her? Was it truly for his own gain?
“When did you set up the meeting?” she asked. “How long ago?”
“Before I met you.”
Her feelings gathered up in a tight ball of physical pain. She could hardly find the right words to say. “I thought you wanted to help me. But you only used me, didn’t you?” The sound of her voice came out hoarse, filled with all the emotions cracking apart. “You knew who I was from the very beginning.”
His expression tightened. “I learned who you were on the second day. And you’re wrong. I did want to help you.”
“Because it would give you an advantage over Ben, is that right? Because I told you everything about him, and you could force him to accept your terms.” His betrayal cut her so deeply, she could hardly keep back the tears.
“After what Ben did to you, I wasn’t about to turn you over to him.” His tone was sharp, filled with fury. He drew closer until he was no more than a hand away. “I could have told him where you were on that first day, but I didn’t. I protected you.”
Her eyes welled up, and a single tear escaped. She held her arms around her waist, trying to hold back the storm of emotions. Though she hated confrontation, she had to know why he’d continued this ruse. And if she started crying, she’d never get through it. With effort, she demanded, “Why didn’t you tell me you had a business deal with him?”
“Because this is about more than me. I have a dozen hotels at risk, with more than five hundred jobs at stake. If I make the deal with Carnell, Venture will make all their travel arrangements through my hotel chain. It would keep those properties open and help hundreds of people and their families.”
He reached out to take her hand, but she pulled it back. She didn’t want him trying to soften what he’d done or distract her with hand holding.
His expression remained somber. “I still wanted to help you. Regardless of my business deal, I didn’t want him to hurt you again. And he knows I was helping you. He threatened to end the deal because of it.”
That did sound like something Ben would do. It seemed that both men were trying to manipulate each other for the sake of business. She stepped back, uncertain of what to say. “You should have told me. Especially after the time we spent together.” Her cheeks were burning at the thought of the intimacy between them, and her heart ached at the memory. Just like before, a wealthy man had taken advantage of her, and she’d let it happen, believing in fairytales.
“I knew you’d be angry,” he answered. “There was no good way to tell you.”
“So, you decided to keep it from me.” She reached for her key card, realizing that it was impossible to heal the shattered trust.
“If I had told you the truth from the beginning, you would have run from me. Just as you’re doing now.” He eyed her key card. Then he softened his tone. “I know you’re angry with me. But how could I jeopardize the livelihood of so many people for the sake of one person? It’s not just my life or yours. It’s Jasmine’s and Dawson’s, and Cora’s. I don’t want to shut down the New York property and lay off hundreds of employees right after Christmas. And if signing a deal with Carnell will stop it from happening, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?” She needed to know the truth.
“Eventually.” He paused a moment. “When I first met you, I was furious with Ben for what he’d done to you. It brought back memories of my father’s abuse.” He closed his eyes as if to push back the invisible pain.
“I don’t need you to save me anymore,” she told him. “I’m going to stay with my brother now. I’m going to get a job in Florida and put my life back together.” She knew it was necessary. Right now, she needed to get away from her past and start again.
“And what will you do if Ben comes after you again? He won’t give up.”
A thread of fear wound itself around her heart, even though she knew Ben couldn’t force her to return. “He’s married to someone else. He’ll let me go.” Though even as she spoke the words, she didn’t quite believe them.
“Will he? He’s already spent money on a private investigator.” Alec crossed his arms and regarded her. “He doesn’t want you to be free of him. To him, you’re like a lost puppy who needs to be brought home again. And if that happens, he’ll try to punish you.”
Her anger tightened at his words, but she said nothing—because he was right. Ben had the money to continue stalking her. He had the means to manipulate her emotions until she was living with terror at every moment. She had become a shell of a woman, cowering at his control until she had lost herself.
“You’re right,” she heard herself say. Ben had already tracked her this far, and he would consider it a game to continue stalking her. But how could she set herself free? The only real answer was to stand up to him. “Before I go to Florida, I’ll have to confront him and make him let me go.”
Alec was already shaking his head. “Not if he’s going to hurt you. I’ll be damned if I stand back and let that happen.”
“I’m not your responsibility,” she reminded him. “This is my life and my problem. I don’t need you trying to control me the way he did.”
He went utterly still. Though Alec was nothing like Ben, she needed him to let her handle her own problems. If she let him step in and rescue her, it would be the same situation all over again.
“I’m not trying to control you,” he said quietly. “I just want you to be safe. I care about you, Sarah. I want to help.” He reached up to trace the fading bruise, and the warmth of his hand softened her anger. She had feelings for him too, even if they were complicated.
“I need to tell Ben in person that it’s over. I need to face my own fea
rs.”
But Alec appeared doubtful. “You need a restraining order, not a conversation.”
She suspected that was true, but she wasn’t ready to involve the police. “I’ll talk to him first. Likely at his office. He won’t make a scene in front of his colleagues.”
For a long moment, Alec studied her. “Then let me come with you.”
“No. It’s better if I do this alone.” Even as she spoke the words, she felt her own heartache resonate throughout her body.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about our business deal.” His voice was haggard and rough. “I should have. But I didn’t know what would happen between us. I thought I could help you escape him and that would be the end of it.”
He stared into her eyes, and in them, she saw the unspoken emotions. “I’ve never met anyone like you before, Sarah. And after we became friends, I found that I didn’t want to let you go. I still don’t.” His expression grew raw, and she felt an ache deepen inside her. She longed to go back into Alec’s arms to forget all that had happened in the past hour. But she couldn’t simply let it go. He’d kept the truth from her, lying by omission.
“There can’t be anything more between us if you can’t be honest with me,” she said. “No more secrets.” He hesitated, and she sensed he was holding something back. “Was there anything else you wanted to tell me? Anything else you’ve kept hidden?”
Again, the hesitation. But then he looked her squarely in the eye. “Ben cut off all your money. I loaned you ten thousand from my personal account.”
Oh God. It felt as if the air to her lungs had been sucked away. “You weren’t going to reveal that either, were you?”
He shrugged. “Not at first. But you said you wanted no more secrets. There are no more.”
Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. All this time, she’d believed that the money was hers by right—only to learn that she’d been destitute all along. She’d mistakenly thought that she was seizing her independence, but the truth was, she’d been borrowing from Alec. It felt as if she were falling into an endless pit, unable to grasp a handhold to pull herself out. She didn’t want to be dependent on anyone else, and he needed to know that.
“Why would you let me believe it was mine?” she demanded. “Did it entertain you, having that power over me?” The sickening feeling inside her strengthened. She’d wanted to believe that Alec was different, but he was exactly the same.
“That wasn’t my reason. You needed help, and I gave it to you.”
“Ten thousand dollars was far too much,” she insisted. “You shouldn’t have done it.”
But he appeared unrepentant. “I make donations to battered women’s shelters all the time. This time, I simply donated to you.”
That only made it worse, for she felt like a charity case. “I’m going to pay you back,” she said quietly. “Every last penny.”
He gave a single nod, but added, “There’s no rush, Sarah.”
After a pause, he asked, “I know this is a bad time to ask, but do you still want to go out to dinner?”
She had no idea how to answer that. After all she’d learned about his interference, her pride had taken a sharp blow. Her very survival had been dependent on Alec. And if she went to dinner with him again, she was afraid they would only end up back in bed again.
Right now, she needed distance to clear her head. She needed to gather up the remains of her courage and face her ex. Only then, could she consider a relationship with someone else. And right now, she doubted if she could ever be with Alec—not after the way he’d used her.
She met his gaze evenly and picked up her room key. “I think it would be better if we don’t see each other again until your business dealings with Ben are over.”
CHAPTER NINE
Alec was careful to give Sarah her space when he saw her at breakfast the next morning. She still maintained that she wanted to face Ben, though he didn’t think it was a good idea. Given how much Carnell had done to her, the man would only try to humiliate her further. And he couldn’t let that happen.
Guilt weighed upon him, though he didn’t think he could have changed the outcome. If he’d told Sarah that he’d been involved with Carnell at the beginning, she would have fled the hotel after the first night. But now, she didn’t trust him—and he couldn’t blame her for that. He didn’t deserve her trust. And though she hadn’t truly broken it off with him, he could sense the distance widening between them.
Sarah emerged from the hallway, wheeling her suitcase behind her. She wore a green dress that accentuated her curves, and a black wool coat. Her blond hair hung loose around her shoulders, and she walked with purpose, as if he meant nothing to her anymore. He deserved that.
When she approached the front desk to check out, he waited for her by the door.
“The car is waiting,” he told her, signaling for the bellman to take her suitcase. She followed him outside to the car. Freezing rain was falling, and he helped her inside the vehicle.
He offered nothing further and stared straight ahead while trying to decide what to say. The atmosphere was tense, and he wanted to reach for her hand to reassure her. But she was pressed up against the opposite door, looking outside the window as they drove to the airport. It was clear that she didn’t want anything to do with him, and the last thing he wanted was to pressure her or make her feel uncomfortable.
And so, the silence continued.
His phone buzzed with a message from Lacey. We found Carson. Do you want me to give him your number?
A part of him wanted to say no. And yet, his mother had written him a letter, begging his forgiveness. He didn’t know what he should do. And so, he revealed his phone to Sarah, and said, “Lacey just texted me about Carson. What do you think I should do?”
She eyed him for a moment, as if she couldn’t believe he was asking her advice. But he needed some way of breaking the rigid silence between them.
She read the message and thought a moment. “If it were me, I would give him your phone number. You could talk to him and see what he’s like. At least, for your mother’s sake.”
“I still wonder if he wants something. Why else would he send the letter with no note of his own?”
“Did he send you the letter?” she asked. “Or was it someone else?”
“He sent it to the New York office, and Lacey forwarded it to me here.” But she had raised a good point. What if someone else had found the letter and sent it to his assistant? His father was in jail and had no access to his personal belongings, so it couldn’t be Logan. “I don’t see how it could be anyone else. But I suppose I can find out from Carson.”
Her eyes softened upon him, and he was glad he’d asked her advice. He sent a quick text to Lacey, giving her permission to give his half-brother his cell phone number. Time would tell whether anything came of it.
“Where do you want to stay tonight?” he asked. “You’re welcome to have your own room at my place. Or I can book you a room at the hotel.” He didn’t want her to feel obligated or threatened in any way.
“You don’t need to worry about me,” she said. “I’ll take care of my own reservation.”
“I do worry about you,” he admitted. “I want you to be safe.”
“You’re under no obligation to me,” she started to say, but he cut her off.
“No. This isn’t about obligation. It’s about the fact that I care about you. Even if you’re angry with me, even if you want nothing more to do with me. I want you to be protected, no matter what.”
She drew back from his anger, but he wouldn’t apologize for his words. For a long time, she turned her attention back to the freezing rain spattering against the window. “Was any of it real between us, Alec? Especially since you had business plans with a man who tore my life apart.”
He couldn’t blame her for being suspicious. She had every right to be. But he had to choose his words carefully so she would understand his reasons. “At first, I only meant to protect you. Bu
t the more I got to know you, the more I liked you.” He thought of the night she had baked him cookies and her generous heart. “You’re beautiful, intelligent, and the kindest woman I’ve ever met. I enjoyed spending time with you, Sarah. And then when you spent Christmas Eve taking care of me, I realized I was falling hard.”
He wanted to take her hand, touch her shoulder. Anything to make her see the truth. But he saw a tear slide down her cheek. If he touched her now, she might pull back again. And he didn’t want her to feel threatened.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes since the day I met you. I never meant to seem controlling or to take advantage.” He laid himself bare, hoping she would understand. He now knew that it was better to step back, to give her the freedom she wanted. Only then could they build a real relationship. “But I want you to be happy, more than anything else. Even if it’s without me.”
The words pained him, but they were true. And he knew that, even if he let her go and gave her the freedom she needed, she still might never trust him again.
Sarah had no idea what to do now. Her mind felt scattered with everything she had left to do. She’d made an online reservation at another hotel, and she’d decided to postpone her Florida flight until after she’d spoken with Ben. The very thought made her stomach twist with nausea.
Throughout the flight, Alec had been attentive and kind, and he hadn’t pressed her for more. But sometimes when she’d sneaked a glance at him, she had glimpsed yearning upon his face.
He lied to you, she reminded herself. He doesn’t deserve a second chance.
She knew that…and yet, she couldn’t deny that he’d made her feel wonderful. Even so, she couldn’t take such a risk after he’d kept so many secrets from her. Their relationship had begun on uneven footing, and just like her first marriage, she’d fallen under his spell, believing in the fairytale. She had allowed the white knight to rescue her, but now it was time to rescue herself.
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