“I need to take it slowly,” she said. “I trusted Ben, and he lied to me. I couldn’t bear for that to happen again.”
A strange expression crossed Alec’s face, but he masked it. She wasn’t certain what she had said, but it made her suspicious of the conversation he’d had with Miranda Carnell. There might have been more that he hadn’t told her.
He squeezed her hand and stood from the bed. “There’s something I want to show you. It’s something that was sent to me yesterday.”
Curious, she followed him to the desk where he handed her a letter. She read the handwritten note slowly. When she realized what it meant, she understood the trust Alec had placed in her by letting her read it. “You have a brother.”
He nodded. And yet, there was no sense of joy. Instead, his face remained impassive, as if he wanted to shield all emotions. She read it again and then realized why he seemed uneasy. His mother’s affair had caused his father’s abuse. “How do you feel about this?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what to think. But a part of me wonders if my father would have beaten her if Eva hadn’t cheated on him. I always knew Logan was a bastard for what he did. But now I know he had a reason to be angry.” He let out a ragged sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “It still doesn’t excuse what he did.”
“No.” She couldn’t stop herself from putting her arms around his waist. For the first time, she saw a trace of vulnerability in Alec and she wanted to console him. “Will you try to find Carson?”
“I don’t know. I need to investigate what happened. For all I know, this note could be a lie.”
She hadn’t thought of that, but then, a man as wealthy as Alec Harrow had reason to be wary. Too many might try to take advantage of him.
“I agree with you. But if you find that Carson is your brother, it sounds as if he wants a relationship with you. Why else would he send the letter?”
“And how did he get it to begin with?” Alec wondered aloud. He drew her into his arms. “I don’t know what to think.”
“Just find out what you can,” she suggested.
He moved his hand up her back, resting his hand on her zipper. He kissed her, sliding his tongue inside her mouth as he moved the zipper downward. She understood his need to be close to her, and she wanted the same.
But more than that, she wanted to heal the loneliness. And as he pressed her back to the bed, she opened her arms, trying hard not to think about a future without him.
The last two days passed by quickly, but with each hour he spent at her side, Alec regretted his business meeting with Ben. It felt wrong on every level, and he was already taking steps to change it. The discussion with Miranda was critical.
He had also begun searching for information on his half-brother and had contacted a private investigator to learn more about Carson. They had traced the return address to a business law firm in D.C. His brother’s full name was Carson Evan Kildare. A simple Internet search had revealed that Kildare’s law practice was thriving, and it wasn’t likely that the man needed money of his own. But why hadn’t Carson sent a note of his own to accompany their mother’s letter? Was he simply making Alec aware of his existence? Or was there another hidden intention?
After he finished a hot shower, he found Sarah poring over catalogues while seated at the desk in his suite. He’d told her earlier that he needed to update the furnishings in one of the Boston hotels, and she’d asked if she could help choose the chairs and tables. He saw no harm in it and had agreed. It appeared that she was making notes about what to order.
He kept the towel wrapped around his hips as he drew closer. “Did you find anything you wanted?” he asked, coming up behind her to rest his hands on her shoulders.
She turned and stood from the chair, and her gaze slid over him. “Maybe.” Her smile turned wicked as she stared at him. Heat flared in his skin when she put her hands upon his waist. “I do see some things that interest me.”
Alec slid his arm around her, and she rested her hands upon his damp chest. “There was a square laminate table that would work perfectly for the breakfast area.” A droplet of water slid down from his neck, and she traced it with her finger.
Her touch ignited his own lust, and he leaned in to kiss her. “What else did you find interesting?”
She kissed him back, her hands moving through his hair. Against his lips, she murmured, “I also saw some ergonomic desk chairs.”
A laugh caught in his throat. “How…fascinating.”
“Lumbar support is quite useful,” she said. Her hands moved up his spine, massaging his bare skin until every thought left his brain. He needed to touch this woman, to make love to her until they both lost themselves in pleasure.
He wanted her to stay with him. He knew she was planning to leave, and he didn’t want that. For the first time in his life, he’d found someone he cared about. She fit into his life in a way he’d never expected, offering her suggestions on the hotels and ways to improve business. But more than that, there was the sense that she was the missing piece. Sarah’s smile humbled him, and with every day at her side, he was falling hard for her. He would do everything in his power to convince her to stay.
“I think you should show me,” he said, taking a seat on the chair and letting the towel fall open. “Will this chair have the right support?”
Her expression grew intent, and drew closer, watching him. She studied his body, her gaze memorizing every detail, and he grew rock hard at the anticipation. Sarah loosened her wrap dress and lifted it away, revealing a black bra and black lacy panties. He wanted nothing more than to push her back onto the bed, tearing off the undergarments until he was inside her, but he forced himself to let her be in command.
She had been abused and undermined for two years now, subjugated to another man’s will. He wanted her to hold the power now, to do whatever she desired. Slowly, she drew closer, and he fought for control.
Her hands moved over his shoulders, and the simple caress was electric. He tried to reach up for another kiss, but she pulled back.
“Wait,” she whispered. She went to the desk and withdrew a condom from the box he’d bought earlier. Then she tore open the foil and rolled it over his erection. The forbidden touch of her hands made him harden even more. More than anything, he wanted to be inside her, and the tension was killing him.
“Take what you want from me,” he said darkly. “You’re in charge.”
She bit her lower lip, and then reached back to unfasten her bra and remove her underwear. When she stood naked before him, he admired her, noting the curves of her breasts and the pale pink nipples that he wanted to touch.
“Move forward in the chair,” she ordered, and he obeyed. She stood between his legs and leaned down to hiss him. He showed her his fierce need, kissing her hard, while his tongue slid inside the way he wanted to be in her. A soft moan escaped her, and she pulled back, drawing his mouth to her breasts. He took one nipple in his mouth, savoring the taste as he pulled her to straddle his lap. Her fingers dug into the back of his head, but he suckled one and then the other, driving her wild. God, he needed her so badly. He pulled her closer, and when her cleft moved against his shaft, he nearly lost it.
Slow down, he warned himself. This is about her.
He regained control, using his mouth to show Sarah how much he desired her. He continued to kiss her breasts, gently swirling his tongue against her erect bud. She was breathing harder now, pressing herself against him intimately. He gripped her hips, and she rubbed herself against him in rhythm. He wanted nothing more than to thrust deep within her, but he forced himself to let her take the lead. She was getting close to the edge, her face strained as she reached for her release.
When the orgasm struck her, she shuddered against him, her fingers digging into his shoulders. He could feel her wetness against his length, and she stood, helping to guide him inside her.
While he sat on the office chair, she began to lower herself, thrusting gently.
He gripped her hips, helping her ride him, and she squeezed his length within her depths. She kept the pace slow at first, and the feeling of her wetness surrounding him, taking him deeper, brought his need to a razor edge.
“Are you all right?” she murmured.
“You’re killing me,” he gritted out. “But I would take this death a thousand times.”
She smiled, claiming his mouth in another kiss. He held her waist, trying to encourage her to move faster, and when she did, the pleasure seized him with a force that overwhelmed him.
“Stay with me, Sarah,” he said. “This doesn’t have to end.”
Her face was racked with her own rising need, but she lifted and lowered herself upon his shaft, quickening the pace. He was fighting to keep his control, but with every thrust, she drove him closer to his own release.
“I just want to enjoy this time together and live in the moment,” she said. “Don’t ask me for more.”
“We’re good together, Sarah. We both know it.” This time, he stood up from the chair, still embedded deep inside. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he carried her to the bed and lowered her down.
“We are good together,” she agreed. “But it’s too soon to ask me for more. Just…let it be.” Her eyes grew hooded, and her gaze turned hot. “And I want you to make love to me now, the way you want to. Don’t hold back.”
He kept her hips elevated and penetrated her deeply. She gasped as he increased the rhythm. She met his thrusts, arching her back as they came together. He continued to move inside her, hoping she would consider staying with him.
He wanted her to give them a chance, to be together a little longer. And so, he slowed his pace, lacing his hands with hers. The tenderness nearly undid her, and her reaction shifted to yearning. “Please, Alec.”
He could feel her frustration rising, and he withdrew with such slowness, she began to tremble. He made love to her slowly, drawing out her pleasure until she gripped his shoulders and gasped. The moment she came apart, she squeezed him hard, urging him faster. He obeyed, and claimed her, thrusting until he found his own release.
But the physical release was only temporary. For a time, they lay entwined in one another, and he kissed her, savoring the feeling of her body beneath his. It still bothered him that she would not consider returning to New York with him. And though he wanted her to stay, he knew how important it was for her to make her own choices.
His cell phone rang, and he debated letting it ring. At first, he let it go to voice mail, but then it began ringing again.
“You’d better see what it is,” she told him.
Alec answered the phone, and his front desk manager informed him that there was a problem with one of the guests. The last thing he wanted right now was to leave Sarah, but he’d given his general manager the day off.
“I need to handle a situation downstairs,” he said. “I’ll call you, and then we can go out to dinner.”
She rolled to her side while he got dressed, and an unfamiliar emotion gripped his gut. He didn’t want to leave her at all. But he forced himself to go, knowing she would be there on his return. And he hoped that somehow, he could convince her to stay with him in New York.
Nearly half an hour passed before the room phone rang. Sarah reached over and picked it up, wondering what Alec had planned for their dinner.
“Hello?” she said.
“Isn’t this interesting?” Ben said. “I called to discuss changing my meeting with Alec Harrow, and I hear you instead, Sarah. Now why would you be in his room?”
Ice flooded through her veins, and she nearly hung up before he added, “Of course, I already knew about it. My PI found you within a day. It wasn’t hard to figure out you were in Paris with him.”
She took a moment to calm herself. He couldn’t hurt her anymore. Since they had never been married, he held no power.
Quietly, she said, “I’ll tell Alec you called.”
Ben expelled a soft laugh. “Harrow hasn’t told about our business deal, has he? He’s been using you all along, trying to gain the upper hand over me.”
Their business deal? What was he talking about? She guessed that Ben was only trying to feed her more lies. She couldn’t trust a word he said.
But what if it were true? Was it possible that Alec could have hidden this from her? It would explain why he had stayed close to her. She had revealed a lot about Ben, information that Alec could use against him. But once again, she forced herself to remain calm.
“What do you mean?” Her voice revealed none of her rising anxiety, but she sat up on the bed. If nothing else, she would get as much information from him as possible.
“Six months ago, we began talks for a contract between our two companies. Alec wanted me to use Harrow Suites exclusively for Venture’s travel needs. He was willing to give us a discount if we contracted with his hotel chain.”
It felt as if the floor had dropped out from beneath her. No, it wasn’t possible. She hadn’t seen any evidence at all that Alec would do business with a man like Ben. To the contrary—he had done everything possible to help her escape him.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Believe what you like, but we have a meeting in New York in three days,” Ben said. “Call his assistant, and she’ll tell you.”
She wanted to deny it, but her mouth had gone dry and it didn’t seem possible to form words. For a moment, she debated mentioning Ben’s wife, but instinct warned her not to say anything.
And yet, if Alec had kept his business dealings with Ben a secret, how could she trust him anymore? Her mind was spinning off into confusion, trying to separate the truth from lies.
There was no way she could trust Ben or anything he was saying. It was possible that he’d invented the entire story—just as he’d deceived her in the marriage. Sarah managed to gather her courage and blurt out, “Every word you’ve ever said to me was a lie. Especially our marriage.”
He laughed softly. “Does it matter? I took care of you the way I would have cared for a wife. You had money. A beautiful home. Everything you could have ever wanted.”
“Why would you do something like that? You were already married.” She couldn’t understand why a wealthy man would go to such lengths, making her believe the lie.
He laughed. “The same reason any man has an affair. Because I wanted you and because it was exciting. And you were so young and innocent, you thought it was all real.”
“I was never enough, was I?”
He gave a soft laugh. “You couldn’t possibly survive in my social circles, Sarah. You still can’t.”
A dark spiral of anger strengthened her, pulling her out of her fear. “I thought you loved me.”
“No, I enjoyed watching you try to transform yourself to please me,” he admitted. “I knew you’d find out eventually. I just didn’t care.”
The hurt within her transformed into a ball of rage. It was about power and control. To him, the false marriage had been a game, spinning a web of lies to see how far he could go. She despised this man and everything he stood for. And one way or another, she would be rid of him.
“I suppose you believe the lies Harrow is telling you. He probably wanted you to return to New York with him and start over, is that it?”
“Go to hell.” She wanted no part of him, and the anger was making her stronger. “I may have been a fool when I thought I was married to you,” she said, “but I have my eyes open now.”
“You made a mistake in leaving me, Sarah.” His tone grew softer, as if he were trying to sweet talk her. “But I’ll forgive you. We were good together, and I know you miss what we had. I gave you everything, and I want you to come home.”
It took an effort to keep her mouth from dropping open. How could he switch tactics so quickly? Did he think she would fall for his lies again?
“You hit me,” she reminded him. “Why would I want to come back to you?”
“Now you’re being melodramatic,” he said with a sigh
. “It was just a light tap to get your attention. I didn’t really hurt you, Sarah. You know I would never do that.”
“There’s a black bruise on my cheek that says otherwise.”
“But that was your fault. You made me so angry at the thought of you leaving, I lost my temper. If you hadn’t tried to leave, I never would have done it.”
She could hardly believe what she was hearing. He was delusional if he thought he could blame the bruise on her. “I have nothing more to say to you,” she told him. “Just let me go. Don’t call me anymore.”
“You’re overreacting and being too sensitive,” he said. “Calm down and listen to reason.” She was about to hang up on him when he added, “If I back out of this business deal, the details of our relationship will become public gossip. And if that happens, I will personally do whatever it takes to ruin Harrow Suites. Several of his hotel properties are struggling. He’ll have to close the New York location, among others.” With a slight pause, he added, “Or you could come home, and I’ll forget about your…indiscretion. I’ll sign the deal.”
Her skin crawled at the thought. “No. I’m not coming back to you.” She hung up the phone and tried to calm the troubled emotions inside her.
It felt as if she’d taken another blow to the face, and she sat down. For a time, she simply took a few deep breaths. She squeezed her arms, trying to gather control. He’s lying and is only trying to bring you back under his control. He doesn’t want you. He only wants you to yield to his every whim.
But her heart ached at the thought of being betrayed by Alec. She didn’t want to believe that everything between them had been a lie.
And yet…what man would take a woman he barely knew to Paris? Why would he buy her clothes, a romantic dinner, and Christmas presents? Was he using her, trying to gain more information about Ben? Had she fallen prey to another man’s sick idea of a joke? Her gut churned at the thought of it being a lie. She had given herself to Alec, believing it was a way of healing the broken pieces of her heart. Instead, it might be yet another terrible mistake she’d made.
Christmas in His Arms Page 13