Late to the Party

by Kelly Quindlen

  I laughed. “Yeah?”

  “Isn’t there anyone you can think of that you might have a chance with?”

  “No.”

  “Even with all the pretty girls at school? You’ve really never met anyone who caught your attention?”

  Something stirred in my mind. I thought of the girl I’d spoken to at Ricky’s party, the girl who had recognized me from school, but I didn’t know who she was or whether she even liked girls.

  “What?” Ricky said.

  “Nothing.”

  “What?” he pressed.

  “Well … there was a girl at your party. A cute girl. But I don’t know her name.”

  “Did you talk to her?”

  “For a second.”

  “And?”

  I told him all about my picture faux pas, and how the girl had been so nice about it. “And she recognized me,” I said, trying not to sound too pleased about it. “She knew I went to Buchanan.”

  “But you didn’t get her name?”

  “We got interrupted by her friends. They came over and started tugging her away to watch those guys shotgun.”

  “What’d they look like?”

  I described the girl and her friends. Ricky’s eyes grew bright.

  “Do you know her?” I asked, half hopeful, half terrified.

  He grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I might.”

  “Ricky—please don’t tell her—”

  “Relax, Codi,” he laughed, holding up his hand. His usual warm energy was back, like he’d drunk some sunshine along with his coffee. “I’ll take care of you.”

  * * *

  I pestered Ricky with questions on the drive back to our neighborhood, but he refused to tell me anything else. “You’ll see,” he said, over and over. “I’m gonna make it worth your while.”

  It wasn’t until we turned onto my street that he switched the conversation to something else.

  “You know how you said it was obvious with JaKory?” he asked, suddenly low-key again.

  “What?”

  “When you were talking about Maritza liking girls, you said it shocked you.”

  “Yeah…”

  “But JaKory wasn’t shocking to you.”

  I knew where he was going with this, and I tried to sound nonchalant with my answer. “No, Maritza and I thought he was gay for a while.”

  Ricky glanced at me. “Why?”

  I didn’t know how to phrase it without making him read into it. “Well … the way you can just tell with some guys.”

  Ricky was silent for a long moment. Then he asked, “I’m not one of those guys, right?”

  I wasn’t sure how to answer. The truth was he wasn’t one of those guys, at least not as far as I could tell, but I didn’t want him dwelling on that as if it mattered.

  “No…” I said uncertainly. “I don’t think so. But it’s not a bad thing or a good thing, it’s just … you know…”

  His expression was inscrutable. He didn’t take his eyes off my driveway, but he nodded very slightly. “Cool,” he said, though he sounded anything but. “Catch you later, Codi.”

  He gave me a stiff smile, and I clambered out of his truck.

  7

  JaKory Green: What’s the plan tonight, comrades? I’m thinking Indian take-out and another ~special~ movie

  Maritza Vargas: You make it sound like we’re watching porn. But I’m down. There’s that one I wanna watch with the two girls and the spotted unicorn

  JaKory Green: Sounds kinky but okay

  It was Saturday night, and I was working the closing shift at Totes-n-Goats with nothing to occupy me but my phone.

  Until Ricky showed up out of nowhere.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, looking up at the sound of the bell tinkling.

  He wandered curiously into the store. “I wanted to buy a goat.”

  “Funny.”

  He was dressed like he was on his way out somewhere. He stepped up to the register, his eyes roaming over the line of handbags behind me, and I recognized the crisp cologne he’d worn the night of his party. Was he on his way to another party? And if so, would he invite me to tag along?

  “Got a big night planned?” I asked, trying not to sound too eager.

  Before he could answer, Tammy swept in from the stockroom, breathless. It had been a slow night, and her eyes popped at the sight of a potential customer. “Hi, can we help you find something? How’d you like to see our panda oven mitts?”

  Ricky gave her a polite smile, but the corners of his mouth were twitching. “Uh, no, thank you. I just came by to talk to Codi real quick.”

  Tammy’s expression sank. She threw me a look like I’d offered her a piece of pie and then yanked it away. “Of course,” she said, giving him an awkward little bow before she dipped off to the kitchen section.

  Ricky turned to me, eyebrows raised in a way that said That bitch is crazy. “Is it okay that I came in?”

  “It’s fine,” I said, shaking my head. “She’s just not used to me having visitors.”

  “What time do you get off?”

  “Nine.”

  He smirked like that was exactly what he wanted to hear, and I could tell he was going to spring something on me.

  “Wanna come out with me and my friends?”

  I processed his invitation slowly. Ricky and I had been hanging out a lot, but it was always the two of us by ourselves. I’d never met any of his friends before. I was flattered—and terrified—that he would even suggest it.

  “Do you have something else going on?” he pressed.

  I thought of the texts Maritza, JaKory, and I had been sending about our plans to hang out later.

  “Maritza and JaKory wanted to watch a movie,” I said, biting my lip.

  “One of the same old movies you always watch?”

  He had me there. I gaped at him, stalling with my answer.

  That knowing smirk was still on his face. “Well, if you change your mind, it’s shaping up to be a good night. We’re grabbing food at Taco Mac, and then who knows what’ll happen.” He paused, his eyes twinkling. “I’m gonna wait in my car. You can ride with me if you decide to come.”

  I hesitated. I’d already said yes to Maritza and JaKory, but I knew exactly how a night with them would go. Ricky’s offer promised something new.

  I exhaled and rolled my eyes at him. “You know I’m gonna say yes.”

  “I know it,” he singsonged. He held up a pack of cocktail napkins featuring a pig in a pearl necklace. “You’ll get these for my college going-away party, right?”

  Before I could do more than laugh, he turned around and ambled out the door, setting the bell tinkling again.

  Tammy reappeared and looked at me nosily. “Is that your boyfriend?” she asked, like she couldn’t quite believe it.

  “No,” I snorted, cleaning a stain off the checkout counter, “not even close.”

  * * *

  Ricky played an Aretha Franklin album on the way to Taco Mac. There were a few artists I’d come to realize he played when he was feeling good, and Aretha Franklin was one of them. Even after we’d pulled into the parking lot at the back of the restaurant, he didn’t turn off the ignition until the song ended.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  My stomach was in knots. I had no idea what Ricky’s friends were like—what if they were snotty, or mean, or way too cool for me? What if they didn’t like me? What if they made him realize he didn’t actually like me, either?

  “Codi,” he said firmly, as if reading my mind. “Relax. My friends are nice. You’ll like them.” He jumped out of the truck. “Take off your name tag, though.”

  “Ricky,” I said, following him toward the restaurant, “how many people are gonna be here?”

  “Just a few,” he said, shrugging. “Come on, I’ve been craving this queso all day.”

  He steered me into the restaurant. I tried to walk all cool and casual like him, but my heart was hammering and I wasn’t
sure what to do with my arms.

  There was a small group of people stretched across a table in the center of the restaurant, and as Ricky and I approached, they turned toward us with raised arms and goofy grins. I took them in without really seeing them; I was too focused on sitting down so they’d stop looking at me.

  “Where’ve you been?” a loud guy asked. I recognized him as the guy with the buzz cut from Ricky’s party.

  “I was meeting up with Codi,” Ricky said, gesturing toward me. “Everyone knows Codi, right?”

  My face burned as everyone looked at me, but Ricky didn’t give me time to feel embarrassed: He pulled out my chair, turned to the buzz cut guy, and said, “Cliff, introduce yourself.”

  Ricky’s friends didn’t miss a beat. They all smiled and told me their names, and none of them questioned why Ricky had brought me along. Cliff, Samuel, and Leo had been on the football team with Ricky; they looked like they worked out as much as he did, except maybe Leo, who was short and skinny. Terrica bounced in her seat when she said hello; she had delicate shoulders and perfect teeth and looked like she could have been a model. Then there was Natalie, the pretty redhead I remembered from the party, who offered me some of her salsa. And finally, tucked on Natalie’s other side—

  It was her. The girl I’d talked to at the party. The girl I’d told Ricky about.

  “Lydia,” she said, giving me a little wave. “Nice to officially meet you, Codi.”

  I blushed all over.

  Under cover of the others talking, I shot Ricky a questioning look, wondering if he realized that Lydia was the same girl I’d been talking about at Starbucks. The smirk he returned told me he knew exactly who she was.

  “I hate you,” I muttered under my breath.

  “You’re welcome,” he muttered back.

  The table was loud and crazy. I was almost overwhelmed, watching them all shout back and forth and steal each other’s fries. Terrica was trying to corral everyone into a game, but she was so soft-spoken she had to bang on the table to get their attention.

  “Thank you,” she said, raising her eyebrows. “Can we keep going? It was Leo’s turn.”

  “Noooo,” Leo said, shaking his head fast, “it was Natalie’s turn.” He exaggerated his features to show he was lying.

  “You’re a fucking liar,” Terrica said, “but fine, Nat can go.”

  “What are we playing?” Ricky asked.

  “Don’t Judge Me, But.”

  Samuel leaned forward, addressing me. “You gotta excuse Terrica. She’s obsessed with games. Never lets us rest.”

  “Excuse me,” Terrica said, smacking his arm. “You can shut up, asshole, ’cause this is an amazing game. Codi, have you ever played?”

  I blushed again, surprised at the attention. “Um, no, I haven’t.”

  “Awesome, awesome,” Terrica said, clapping her hands while everyone else let out dramatic groans.

  “Terrica loves explaining things,” Ricky said.

  “Ignore them, Codi,” Terrica said, holding her hands up like she was blocking her friends out. “Okay, so it’s pretty simple. Whoever’s turn it is says, ‘Don’t judge me, but…’ and they follow it with something that’s embarrassing or gross or weird about themselves. If that sentence applies to you, too, then you have to drink. The goal is to get as many people to drink with you as you can. Obviously we’re playing with sweet tea instead of alcohol—”

  “—Which means it’s taking longer to get to the sexual stuff,” Cliff said, to laughter from the others.

  I laughed uncomfortably. “Um … cool. Sounds good.”

  “Right?” Terrica said happily. “Okay, Nat, you’re up.”

  Natalie shook her long red hair. She had a relaxed, self-possessed air about her, as if she didn’t take shit from anyone. “Okay…” she said, like it was the easiest thing in the world. “Don’t judge me, but … last year I had a sex dream about the Keebler Elf.”

  The table erupted in shouts of laughter. I sat still, watching them all, trying to smile so I didn’t look out of place. I’d never confessed a sex dream to anyone; come to think of it, I wasn’t sure I’d even had one yet. Maybe this had been a bad idea, and I should have stuck to my original plan to hang out with Maritza and JaKory. I could just imagine them in this same situation: JaKory would sit silently, arms around his torso, completely out of his element; Maritza would overcompensate by naming the craziest sex dream imaginable, even though it’d be obvious she made it up. They would both be just as awkward as me.

  I was deep in my head, still wishing Maritza and JaKory were there, when a sudden pain brought me back to the moment. Ricky had pinched my arm. I looked up at him, startled.

  “You good?” he whispered, tipping his head toward his friends, reminding me to be present with them.

  I breathed.

  Next to him, Cliff was looking fake-horrified, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. “This changes everything,” he was saying to Natalie, scooting his chair away from her. “We have to break up.”

  Natalie shrugged and popped a chip in her mouth, completely unfazed. Next to her, Lydia was losing her shit laughing. She had a big, bursting laugh that made her whole face turn pink. Without meaning to, I found myself smiling.

  “Should I shrink myself?” Cliff went on, curling up in his chair. “Would that turn you on?!”

  Natalie laughed in spite of herself. She grabbed for Cliff’s hand, and he pretended to recoil from her, turning to Ricky instead.

  “Rick, Rick, can you find me a red hat?”

  “Get him a green jacket!” Samuel shouted.

  I was laughing now, picturing Cliff, with his meaty arms and square chin, as the tiny little Keebler Elf. Before I could stop it, my voice was out of my mouth, joining in on the joke:

  “You’ll need pointy ears, too.”

  It was like time froze: For a second I was free-falling, bracing for the worst. Then everyone laughed. Ricky beamed at me, and my heart soared.

  “All right, all right, Cliff’s turn!” Terrica said.

  Cliff cleared his throat. He was smirking, his eyes dancing. “Don’t judge me, but … I’ve hooked up in Samuel’s house.”

  “What the fuck, man?” Samuel said.

  “Was it with Samuel?” Leo asked, deadpan, and Terrica swatted him.

  “That’s at least four of you who have to drink,” Lydia said. She looked at Natalie. “I mean, I’m assuming.”

  “Um, yeah,” Natalie said, rounding on Cliff. “You’d better mean with me.”

  Cliff laughed and wrapped his arm around her. “Of course I mean with you.”

  I looked at the rest of the table, trying to figure out who the two other people were.

  “Well, come on, lovebirds,” Cliff said. “Or are you trying to tell me you’ve never hooked up there before?”

  He was talking to Samuel and Terrica. They looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and drank.

  “Thanks, dickhead,” Samuel said.

  “You’re welcome. Anyone else?”

  There was a pause. Then Ricky sighed and took a sip of his Dr Pepper.

  “Whoa!” the guys shouted. “Hold up, hold up, hold up!”

  “Who’d you get with?” Leo asked.

  Ricky shook his head. “I’m not saying.”

  He was playing it cool—acting like he was the kind of guy who didn’t kiss and tell—but I had an instinct about his answer. He’d told me before that he met Tucker through Samuel, and my guess was Ricky had hooked up with Tucker at Samuel’s house.

  “Typical Ricky,” Cliff said, shaking his head. “Won’t trust us with his hookups.”

  “My business is my business,” Ricky said.

  “Not anymore it’s not,” Terrica said, “’cause it’s your turn.”

  The table fell quiet. I watched Ricky, waiting to see what he would say, wondering how deep he would go with his friends. Had he ever offered a hint of his sexuality?

  “All right,” he said, clearing his throat. H
e looked thoughtful for a moment, then gave a slow, careful answer.

  “Don’t judge me, but … sometimes, when I’m alone…” He took a breath. “I listen to Nickelback.”

  The table exploded with shrieks of laughter.

  “Come on, man!” Leo shouted. “There are some things you just don’t say!”

  “I know, I know,” Ricky said, burying his face in his hands. “I’ve never been so ashamed.”

  It was the first time I’d truly laughed during the game. Nickelback sucking was one of those culture-wide jokes I actually understood, and I knew Ricky well enough by now to appreciate how funny it was that he secretly liked their music.

  “And to think,” I said, surprising myself again, “you were totally feeling yourself with Aretha Franklin earlier.”

  His friends roared with laughter again, clapping their hands together like my teasing was the best thing they’d ever heard. I could feel my neck flushing, but in the best way.

  “So who’s drinking to that?” Terrica said, eyebrows raised.

  There was a pause, and then every single one of us took a drink.

  “That’s what I fucking thought,” Ricky said, pretending to glower.

  It was my turn now. I took a deep breath, my heart rate picking up. I’d been trying to figure out what to say since Terrica had first explained the game. Natalie and Cliff had made me nervous with their confessions of sex dreams and hookups, but Ricky had given me an opening by talking about music.

  “Okay,” I said, trying to keep my voice strong, “don’t judge me, but … I used to think that TLC song was about a boy named Jason Waterfalls.”

  “Wait, what?” Natalie asked, but I barely heard her over another voice: Lydia had shouted, “What, me too!” at the exact same moment. We locked eyes, and she beamed at me.

  “What are y’all talking about?” Cliff asked.

  Lydia turned to him, still beaming. “You know that song about chasing waterfalls?”

  “I thought they were singing to a guy named Jason Waterfalls,” I said, laughing. “Like, ‘Don’t go, Jason Waterfalls!’”

  “Exactly!” Lydia said. “I thought Jason Waterfalls was some really cool, really cute boy, and they were begging him not to leave them.”