‘And where did it lead, Mel?’ He pulled at a loose thread on the hem of his shirt.
‘It made me realise how much I missed you and it led me back home, so I thought I’d join you in Carcassonne.’
Oh, shit! ‘I’m not in Carcassonne; I didn’t fancy going after you pulled out. I’m at the cottage in Great Stangdale.’
A loaded silence hung in the air. Zander could hear Livvie talking to Alf, her words of praise and kindness floating through to the living room.
‘Who’s that? Is that a woman’s voice I can hear? You’re not alone, are you?’
Oh, double shit. He took a deep breath and launched into a brief explanation of the situation – excluding the parts that he knew would cause her to fly off the handle.
‘And she’s still there, this Lizzie?’ There was no disguising the hostility in her voice.
‘It’s Livvie, and yes she’s still here; she paid for the cottage. By rights, I’m the one who shouldn’t be here.’
‘Then why are you?’
This was draining. ‘Because of what I just explained. It’s all perfectly above board, Mel.’ Oh, Lord, he knew that wasn’t strictly true if his mind and heart were anything to go by.
‘How would you like it if I went on holiday with other men?’ Her voice was beginning to feel like it was stabbing into the side of his head.
‘You did exactly that when you took off for London.’
‘That was different!’
Before Zander could reply the call was cut. ‘Jeez.’ He sank into the sofa, his mind reeling from the bashing it had just received.
30
Livvie
Livvie filled the kettle and sat it on the Aga hotplate, then went to get Alf’s towel so she could dry him off.
‘You’re a funny lad,’ she said as he wriggled around in happiness as she rubbed the towel over him. He delivered a sloppy lick across her face. ‘Ugh! I think your dad’s told you about that, hasn’t he?’
Alf replied with a wag of his stubby tail.
With the kettle boiled, she poured the water onto the tea bags in the pot and set it on the table until Zander had finished his call. Her stomach clenched at the thought of Mel’s text and how it had thrown a wet towel over the afternoon. Their walk had been lovely, crisp and fresh and Alf’s enthusiasm as he’d bounded backwards and forwards had warmed her heart. At one point she’d even felt Zander’s hand brush against hers as if he was going to take it in his. That was seconds before his phone had vibrated in his pocket, stealing her happiness away.
She didn’t want to eavesdrop, but he’d left the living room door open and she couldn’t help but hear the odd snatch of a word. By all accounts, he didn’t sound too happy. She busied herself, checking in the cupboards to see what ingredients they had that could be put to use for dinner that evening. Was he staying for that? She didn’t know, but there were plenty of things in to make wholesome meals for several days.
She checked the time. ‘Ah, that explains why you’re giving me that look, Alf. Would you like your dinner?’
Alf’s ears shot up and he ran to the utility room where his food was kept. Livvie laughed. ‘Hungry, eh, after all that fresh air and running around?’
As Alf was getting stuck into his food, Zander walked back into the kitchen; his face, she noted, looked weary.
‘Everything okay?’
He threw his phone down. ‘Depends on your definition of okay, but put it this way, Mel thought I was in Carcassonne and had an idea that she’d be joining me there after her failed trip to London.’
‘Oh dear.’
‘Oh dear indeed.’
‘So what are you going to do? Are you heading back home?’ Livvie’s heart started hammering in her chest, the thought of him leaving making her voice catch in her throat.
‘Well, Mel didn’t sound too happy – she heard your voice in the background and cut the call.’
‘Oh, no, I’m so sorry; I tried to be quiet but I didn’t want you to think I was eaves dropping or anything.’ She pressed her hand to her mouth, feeling terribly guilty.
‘Don’t apologise. Anyway, in answer to your question, I’m certainly not going back today. I bought some very tasty-looking chorizo and butter beans from the village shop and I quite fancied making a Spanish stew for dinner tonight. Does that sound okay to you?’
‘It sounds delicious. I love chorizo.’ Livvie felt relief gently push sadness out of the way. The thought of spending another day with Zander made her inexorably happy.
‘Did you just hear something?’ asked Zander as Alf’s ears shot up.
‘I think it’s outside; the wind’s picked up, it’ll just be that.’
‘Yeah, you’re probably right. He picked up the bottle of red wine. ‘Fancy some more?’
‘Mmm, please, it’s delicious, as is this stew.’ Livvie held her glass as Zander poured. ‘Not too much though; I don’t want to get tiddly again.’ Her face was already feeling flushed.
‘Ah, the infamous night when you drank the pub dry of Prosecco.’ Zander’s mouth twitched with the hint of a smile.
‘I did not! Though I have to admit, I did have more than I usually do.’
‘Ah, so is that why you told me I was lo—’
‘Told you what, Zander?’ said an angry voice.
Livvie’s heart started and she turned to see a tall, well-groomed ice-maiden standing in the doorway, her face set hard as stone.
‘Mel! What are you doing here?’ Zander’s smile vanished along with the happy glint in his eye.
‘Shouldn’t you be addressing that question to Lizzie?’
‘It’s Livvie, and I’ve already explained the situation to you.’
Despite the tension in the air, Livvie noticed that Alf made no attempt to greet Mel; instead he went to Livvie, resting his head on her lap while she smoothed his ears.
The sound of a horn beeping in the cold night air cut through the silence.
‘The taxi needs paying; I had to get one from that funny little place, can’t remember the name, anyway, you’ll have to go and settle it, I don’t have any cash on me.’ Mel stalked into the kitchen, snatching Zander’s glass out of his hand. ‘And my case is there, too.’
Livvie noticed him roll his eyes as he reached for his wallet. ‘That would be about right,’ he said.
Mel watched Zander leave the house before she turned to Livvie. ‘So, what’s your game, lady?’ She took a slug of wine.
The question took Livvie aback. ‘I don’t have a game. Zander said he’d explained everything to you.’ She wasn’t going to back down, no matter how intimidating this ice-queen was.
‘And you expect me to believe that?’ Mel sneered, leaning against the worktop, swirling the wine around the glass.
‘Yes, I booked this cottage online through the holiday cottage agency – there’d been a last-minute cancellation so I grabbed it and—’
‘Cut it out, Mel. Livvie doesn’t have to explain herself to you. I’ve told you how it is and it’s been good of her to let me stay rather than be in Leeds on my own.’
‘Well, I’m back now, so you won’t be on your own; we can head off first thing.’
‘Actually, I’ve been invited to a party at one of the local farms, and I’d really like to go to it. You’re welcome to come too,’ he said.
Livvie’s heart sank like a lump of lead. Why did he have to do that? She’d been looking forward to going, to seeing her new friends again, but there’s no way she could go as a spare part with Zander and Mel. In less than five minutes everything had changed.
‘I think I’ll go and run a bath and have an early night; it’s been a bit of a day.’ Livvie looked across at Zander, hoping she’d managed to disguise her disappointment.
‘Hey, you don’t have to rush off; it’s only just after nine.’
‘If Lizzie’s feeling tired, just let her go.’ Mel turned, scrutinising Livvie’s face. ‘Come to think of it, you do have a bit of a haggard look to your eyes; an ea
rly night will do you good.’ She gave a viper-like smile.
Livvie pushed herself up and reached for her plate. ‘If you insist on having an early night, I insist on seeing to the dishes,’ said Zander. He had a look in his eyes that she couldn’t quite read.
‘Okay, thank you.’ She wanted to get out of the room as quickly as possible. ‘See you in the morning.’
She was conscious of Zander’s eyes on her as she retreated. ‘Sleep well, Livvie,’ he said, while Mel just pinned her with an icy glare.
‘That was well out of order,’ Livvie heard Zander say as she headed through to the living room.
‘What?’
‘You know exactly what. There was no need to make bitchy comments.’
‘Oh, get over yourself, I was only saying what the rest of us can see, that’s all.’
As hot water thundered into the bath, filling the room with lavender-scented steam, Livvie sat in the Lloyd Loom chair and let the hot, salty tears flow. She knew she had no right to feel the way she did. Zander was with somebody else, she knew that; she’d always known that. But this feeling she’d had from the moment they’d locked eyes – and she knew he felt it, too –made their circumstances seem so unjust. Her gut feeling was telling her loud and clear that they were meant to be together, but the situation they were in was telling them they didn’t stand a chance. And, anyway, why would Zander pick someone like her when he had the perfect, stunningly beautiful Mel, she thought. Anyone could see there was no comparison.
‘I wish I’d never come here.’ She sobbed into the towel. ‘And now my eyes are going to look even more haggard.’
As she climbed into the steaming water, she was glad that the noise from the pipes and the water tank filling meant that any sounds from downstairs were drowned out. The last thing she needed was to hear Zander and the ice-queen laughing and joking. As she let the soothing warmth penetrate her skin a thought made her heart freeze: if Mel was staying the night would she and Zander be sharing a bed? Her spirits dipped even further as she answered her own question – of course they would.
Livvie heaved herself out of the bath and dried herself off; she wanted to get back to her room before she encountered either of them on the landing.
31
Zander
Well this was a bolt out of the blue – and not a particularly welcome one at that – thought Zander as he regarded Mel who was now occupying the seat Livvie had just vacated. He was sad she’d felt she had to scurry off, but he could understand why she did. Mel wasn’t a woman’s woman by any stretch of the imagination; she could be bitchy and intimidating.
‘So, what made you come here after all this time of never being tempted to visit before?’ he asked.
‘Because I was missing you, Zandie.’ She reached across the table and put her hand over his. Her smile was insincere, her motive transparent.
‘Really?’
‘Of course I did. And did you miss me?’
‘So what happened to tear you away from London?’ Zander freed his hand, batting her question away; he didn’t want to have to lie to her.
‘I don’t want to talk about it, but it wasn’t what I was expecting.’ Mel’s mouth set in a hard line.
Zander could only imagine what that meant. He looked across at her, attempting to assess his feelings for her. She was attractive, there was no denying that; a brittle, harder-featured version of Grace Kelly, with her sculpted cheekbones, platinum blonde hair and model-like figure. But there was a coldness to her and a hard look in her eye that was becoming less and less appealing. As for her selfishness, well that was really beginning to grate. There was no getting away from it, their relationship had reached its expiration date.
While Mel rambled on, Zander’s mind wandered. How had he not noticed these things before? Was it because he’d simply chosen not to and was content to continue with their relationship that was purely based on no deeper a connection than physical attraction? Or was it the easy option and better than being on his own?
Or was it because of his feelings for Livvie?
The answer to that was screaming at him, loud and clear.
They’d talked for another hour, or rather, Zander had listened while Mel talked about herself and bitched and moaned about Anna, and what a terrible friend she’d turned out to be.
He rubbed his brow, he didn’t know how much more of it he could listen to. ‘I think I’m going to call it a day,’ he said.
‘Same here.’ She ran her tongue seductively over her top lip which triggered an immediate reaction in Zander’s jeans.
He cursed inwardly as she ran her foot up his leg, seeking out his crotch, massaging it gently. He stood up. ‘I don’t think so, Mel.’
‘What do you mean? You used to love me doing that, especially in restaurants; it used to drive you crazy I seem to recall.’ She smirked, forcing him to look away.
‘Come on, Alf, time you paid a visit to the garden.’ He opened the back door and the Labrador rushed out. Zander followed him, glad of the cool air and the moments away from the intensity of the kitchen and Mel.
‘Right, I’ve locked up and I’m heading up to bed,’ he said.
‘Okay, I won’t be a moment; I just need a quick ciggie.’
‘Can you do that outside?’ An image of his house at Leeds sprang into his mind, the oozing makeshift ashtrays, the foul lingering smell of stale cigarettes.
‘Fussy man.’ Mel reached inside her handbag and pulled out a box of Marlboros and a lighter.
With a heavy heart, Zander climbed the stairs. It felt weird to know that he’d be sharing a bed with Mel when Livvie was in the next room; almost like a betrayal. What he’d give to suggest to that Mel that she sleep in one of the beds in the snug, but there was no way he could do that; the fall-out would be unbearable.
Upstairs, he was pulling off his jeans when Mel came into the room. She closed the door and slinked her way across the carpet, undoing her hair that fell like a gleaming halo in the soft light. Reluctantly, his eyes were drawn to her as she slowly undressed and stood before him naked, her body smooth and lean. Zander’s mind shot back to his first glimpse of Livvie, catching her in all her delicious, voluptuous nakedness, her body just as nature intended. He gasped, feeling suddenly aroused at the memory; she was breath-taking. She was the opposite to Mel who was so waxed and polished, Zander was surprised she didn’t squeak when she walked.
Pulled from his thoughts, and before he realised what Mel was up to, she’d pushed him back on the bed and straddled him.
With a groan, he closed his eyes and the face he saw was Livvie’s.
‘Someone needed that.’ Mel rolled off him, smirking. ‘I knew you’d be pleased to see me.’
Zander didn’t reply; he simply leaned across and flicked off the bedside light.
What the hell was I thinking? He covered his eyes with the back of his arm. I’m a bloody idiot! A weak bloody idiot! Sex with Mel was the last thing I wanted. Shit! Shit! Shit! Why didn’t I just tell her I wasn’t interested? Because he was always interested and she knew that.
He lay awake for half the night trying to get his head around what he’d just done. The only explanation he could come up with was that his attraction for Livvie had meant that his testosterone levels were buzzing around his body on high alert with nowhere to go. It wasn’t Mel he’d wanted sex with, it was Livvie – he knew that much – but he’d needed to channel his urge somewhere, pathetic weak male that he was. And he was pretty sure Mel knew what she was doing by offering herself on a platter. God, he felt cheap.
32
Livvie
Livvie had hoped to have dozed off before Zander and Mel came to bed so she wouldn’t have to hear evidence of their togetherness. But her mind, it seemed, had other ideas and she’d lain awake, going over the time she’d spent with Zander and what he’d said to Donny about her being perfect and beautiful – did he really say that, she wondered, or had she imagined it? And if he had said it, did he really mean it?
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She sighed and rolled over, hearing Zander muttering something as he walked along the landing past her bedroom door. How she wished she could turn the clock back to last night before Mel had arrived.
A few minutes later, Mel hurried by humming, making no attempt to be quiet, clicking their bedroom door shut.
Before long, the rhythmic squeaking of the cast-iron bed started up, accompanied by much theatrical groaning and moaning from Mel. Livvie squeezed her eyes tight shut. ‘God, this is awful,’ she said as she pulled the duvet over her head, but there was no escaping their sounds of love-making. Livvie felt her throat tighten and tears sting her eyes. She felt utterly confused and utterly sad. There was no other option, she’d have to leave first thing.
The following morning, Livvie rose just as daylight was peering through the clouds. She poked her nose through the curtains to see there’d been a gentle dusting of snow overnight; she hoped it wasn’t enough to stop her car from tackling the lane.
Hurriedly, and with her heart hammering against her ribcage, she threw her clothes in her case, got dressed, scribbled a brief note to Zander saying she was heading off, and tiptoed downstairs. It saddened her to think she wouldn’t get chance to go to Molly and Camm’s house party or to say goodbye to her new friends, but after last night, Livvie felt she had no alternative.
She made her way to the kitchen where Alf jumped up from his bed and trotted over to her. ‘Morning, Alf.’ She bent and pressed her head against his, fighting back tears. ‘It’s been lovely getting to know you, you’re a one of a kind, special boy.’ Her heart felt heavy as she swiped her tears away. A floorboard creaked upstairs making Alf’s ears twitch. ‘Bugger!’ Quickly, Livvie pulled on her coat, wound her scarf around her neck and propped the note against the radio. ‘Take care of your dad for me,’ she said. She unlocked the door and slipped silently out of the house.
A Christmas Kiss Page 20