The freezing air took Livvie’s breath away as it nipped at her exposed skin; she was glad that she’d hung on to Zander’s glove liners. The weather had worsened in the short time since she’d first looked out; the wind had picked up and pin-head sized flakes of snow had started to swirl around her. The ground was frozen hard and she crunched her way round to the side of the house where her little car was still buried under a mound of snow. She groaned inwardly; it was going to take a considerable effort to clear it.
Fifteen minutes later, and with fingers numb from the cold, the windscreen and the rear window were snow free, as was the path to the lane. She’d never worked so fast in her life, desperately trying to be quiet, all the while unable to shake the feeling that she was being watched. Luckily, the snow had come off in huge chunks, just leaving a film of frost beneath. She’d started the engine to speed up the process and melt the ice, hoping that the wind would help disguise the noise. It seemed to do the trick, and before she knew it, she was making her way cautiously along the icy lane as tears flowed freely down her cheeks.
The roads looked very different in daylight and Livvie wasn’t completely sure of which way to go, having driven round in circles in the dark on the night she’d arrived here. She settled on heading to Lytell Stangdale and taking it from there; there were bound to be some signposts for other places and roads that sounded familiar, not that she knew where she was going.
It soon became apparent that there was no way of leaving the area without having to tackle a hill of some description, whether climbing or ascending, and Livvie’s heart jumped into her mouth when she came to a junction and face-to-face with an ice-covered lane. According to the sign, downwards led to Lytell Stangdale, while upwards took you further up onto Great Stangdale Rigg. There was no way she was going to tackle that and risk getting herself stuck in a six-foot snow drift!
Fear dried her tears as she negotiated the right turn and steadily nosed her way down the bank. A couple of glides over thick patches of ice where springs ran across the road had set her heart racing, making her breathing shallow, but she’d managed to right herself, gaining traction on the side of the road where long grass and cow parsley skeletons peered stoically from the snow – Camm’s voice advising her to drive into the skid and leave her brakes alone ringing in her ears.
Just as she’d righted herself from the last heart-in-the-mouth moment, she felt her car slide into another skid, picking up speed at an alarming rate as it glided down the increasingly steep hill, sliding first one way, then the other. Livvie wrestled with the steering wheel, panic gripping her insides, her mind going blank as to what she should do. Before she knew it she was heading towards a sheer drop down a ravine that led to a river. ‘Oh, shit, shit, shit!’ The car was completely out of her control as it slipped over the edge, bumping and bouncing over the uneven surface. She gripped onto the steering wheel, squeezed her eyes tight shut and tried to scream.
33
Zander
Zander woke with a feeling of regret deep in his gut as the events of the previous evening lined themselves up and paraded along the forefront of his mind. What demon from hell told me it was a good idea to have sex with Mel? Why didn’t I tell her we were finished like I’d intended to do? He sighed and threw back the duvet, the room still shrouded in darkness thanks to the thick curtains. Because you were thinking with your balls and not your head – or your heart, for that matter – you stupid arse!
‘Where are you going?’ Mel yawned and curled her fingers round his wrist.
‘To make a coffee.’ He wriggled free of her grip, her touch sending a spike of annoyance through him.
‘Really? Wouldn’t you rather spend a little longer in bed? I could make it worth your while.’ She ran her long nails up and down his back. It made him shiver but not in the enjoyable way she hoped.
Zander pushed his fingers into his hair. ‘I need to let Alf out.’
‘Ughh!’ She flopped back on her pillow. ‘That bloody dog; you put him before everything, no doubt even Lizzie.’
Mel really knew how to set his hackles up. It was her default mode and he was sure she took pleasure from it. ‘It’s Livvie. And Alf’s used to routine – like most dogs. He’ll be waiting for me.’
‘In that case, you’ll be pleased to know, I let him out earlier.’
‘You did?’ This was a first, Mel was rarely out of bed before eleven if she didn’t have to be.
‘Yes. I thought I’d treat you to a lie-in, amongst other things.’ Her hand reached out, curling around the taut muscles of his abdomen.
He brushed it away. ‘Don’t, Mel; I’m not in the mood.’ His mind raced over the reasons she could have for behaving so out of character.
She huffed. ‘And just what are you in the mood for, Zander? A cosy chat with frumpy little Lizzie?’
‘It’s Livvie, as you know full well. And she’s not frumpy, she’s bohemian, which I think is rather nice.’
‘Huh. Really? Is that what you call it? Well, I’m afraid I have to tell you that “bohemian” little whatever she’s called has left.’
‘What?’ Zander felt the air being whipped from his lungs. He turned to Mel, despising the look of glee in her ice-cold eyes. ‘When? How do you know?’
‘Because I happened to see her leave.’
‘How long ago?’
Mel shrugged. ‘I’d say about half an hour ago, maybe more, maybe less; I wasn’t really concentrating on the time.’
‘And you didn’t think to mention it?’
‘Why would I? You were sleeping like a baby.’ She sat up and draped herself around his neck, pressing her nakedness into his back. ‘And I wanted to wake you in a special way, if you know what I mean?’ She nibbled his earlobe.
Zander could feel anger searing its way up inside him. He shrugged Mel off and stood up. ‘I can assure you, that’s the last thing I want right now. And I can tell you exactly why you didn’t wake me, Mel: you didn’t want Livvie here and you knew I’d try to stop her from leaving. And I’ll tell you something else, she left because of you, because you made her feel unwelcome, because you were being a bitch. That’s why.’ He pulled on his pyjama bottoms.
‘I think that’s a bit extreme, don’t you? She left because she knew she was in the way. Come on, Zander, it’s hardly normal for a total stranger to wedge themselves between a couple, is it? It’s just plain weird.’ Mel pouted. ‘And that’s how she felt, so she did the right thing.’
‘Oh, really, and how do you know?’
‘Because she left a note.’
He pushed his arms through his T-shirt and paused. ‘She what?’
‘She left a note.’
‘Where is it? What did she say?’
It didn’t go unnoticed that Mel couldn’t make eye-contact with him. ‘Just that she didn’t want to get in the way and that she hoped we had a lovely Christmas.’
‘Where is it? I want to read it for myself.’ Did she really say that, he wondered?
‘I haven’t got it anymore.’
‘What? Why?’
He watched Mel taking her time to think of an answer. ‘Because … Alf chewed it.’
‘Alf chewed it?’
‘Mmhm.’ She still refused to look at him.
‘That’s bollocks and you know it. Alf doesn’t chew.’
‘Well, he chewed your precious Lizzie’s note.’
Zander stormed downstairs and into the kitchen where he was greeted by a waggy-tailed Alf who ran straight to the door to be let out. Mel was clearly lying about seeing to that earlier. ‘Morning, buddy. Don’t suppose you’ve seen a note anywhere, have you?’
Alf just whimpered and scratched at the door until he was let out.
Zander slid his feet into his wellies and followed Alf as he trotted along the snow cleared path that led right around the house, to the empty space where Livvie’s little car had been.
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so sad as he watched the Labrador sniff u
p Livvie’s scent. ‘She’s gone, fella.’ He stood a while, his heart heavy, not caring about nor noticing the cruel, cold, wind that was whirling around him, nor the snowflakes that were soaking through the thin cotton of his clothing. All he could think about was Livvie, out on the moors in her car that wasn’t equipped for the conditions a North Yorkshire Moors winter could throw at you. He’d heard plenty of stories of unsuspecting drivers who’d set off and ended up getting stranded in deep snowdrifts; or worse, coming off the road. He turned his gaze to the lane where snow had started to cover the hard frost that had taken everything in its grip through the night. His heart flipped as he noticed her just-visible tyre tracks, an idea sparking in his mind. He needed to go out, follow her tracks while they were still there. He’d call Camm, too, ask if he’d seen her, or if he’d ploughed the roads yet. Zander’s mood felt suddenly brighter as he clicked his tongue for Alf. ‘Come on, lad, let’s go find Livvie; bring her home.’
As he made his way back to the house, one thing became glaringly obvious: it was over between him and Mel and she’d have to go. Today. He’d take her back to the station himself, just as soon as he’d found Livvie.
Inside, he stormed upstairs and burst into the bedroom where Mel was stretched out naked in a deliberately provocative pose. ‘Get your stuff together.’ He started picking up her discarded clothes from the floor and throwing them into her open suitcase.
‘What? Why? What are you doing?’
‘Putting your stuff in your case to speed things up.’
‘Zander! Why are you acting like this? You’re being crazy!’
‘I’ve been crazy letting this pathetic excuse for a relationship carry on for as long as it has. And what are these, eh?’ He snatched up a packet of condoms from a corner of her case. ‘It’s been a long time since we’ve used these, hasn’t it? I’d say pretty much since you went on the pill a good eighteen months ago.’
Mel’s face blanched. ‘They’re not mine … they’re, they’re … they’re Anna’s … she … she wanted me to look after them for her.’
Zander shook his head. ‘And you expect me to believe that, do you?’
‘It’s true.’ She leapt out of bed and went to put her arms around his neck.
He grabbed her wrists and stepped back; he was done with her manipulation. ‘Just pack your stuff; I’ll drive you to the station at Middleton. You can go back to Leeds and pack up your stuff there, but I want you out of my house tomorrow. We’re finished, Mel; we have been for a long time. You know it as well as I do.’
Her face twisted bitterly. ‘And is this all because of that tubby little ginger plain thing? You’re dumping me for something like that? You bloody fool.’ She sneered, leaning towards him. ‘Let me tell you this, you won’t get a second chance with me.’
‘Just get your stuff together.’ Zander grabbed his clothes from the previous evening and went to get dressed in the bedroom that Livvie had recently vacated.
He massaged his temples with his fingers, hoping his anger towards Mel would subside; he didn’t like feeling this way. His eyes scanned the room that still bore a hint of Livvie’s sweet perfume; it triggered a yearning in his belly. Something silver glinted on the dressing table. He went across and picked it up; it was an earring in the shape of a star – one of Livvie’s. He rolled it around in his fingers before pressing it to his lips; at least he had something to remember her by if he didn’t catch up with her today.
‘I can’t believe you really mean it.’ Mel chased Zander down the stairs.
With her suitcase in his hand, he strode across the living room and out of the front door.
‘Trust me, I really mean it.’ He threw her case on the back seat of his Jeep while Alf watched intently from his position in the boot.
She stopped in the doorway, her hands clenched into tight fists. ‘Zander, no!’ She screamed at the top of her lungs, stamping her feet. ‘I’m not leaving!’
‘I think you’ll find you are.’ He took her arm and guided her down the path, opening the passenger door of the Jeep. ‘Get in, Mel.’
‘No! You can’t make me.’
‘Just get in the car, Mel.’
‘Please, Zandie, don’t do this.’ She pouted like a spoilt child, desperately trying to squeeze out crocodile tears. ‘I have nowhere to go, I’ve got no job, no—’
‘And whose fault is that? You’ll have to stay at a friend’s or go back to London.’
‘I can’t … my friends are all useless and selfish.’
‘Not my problem.’
‘You sound like you don’t care.’ Her voice had taken on a whiney tone that grated.
‘I don’t. Just get in the car.’
Mel finally did as she was bid and they set off in silence, her arms folded tight across her chest and her mouth clenched in a hard line.
Before they’d left, he’d called Withrin Hill Farm; Molly had picked up and he’d explained briefly what had happened. She’d told him that Camm had set off half an hour earlier to plough the roads, with Ben following up and spreading grit from the bins on the roadside. ‘We want to make sure the roads to our place are nice and clear for everyone coming here this afternoon,’ she’d said. ‘But I’ll see if I can get hold of him, tell him to keep an eye out for Livvie. Try not to worry, Zander, I’m sure she’ll be fine and we’ll see you both this afternoon.’
Judging by the tracks in the road, Livvie’s car had been the only one out on the lane around Dale View which was a relief; he hoped she hadn’t got far. As he drove on, Zander kept his eyes glued to them, the wipers flicking back and forth, swiping the snow off the windscreen. His mind wandered onto the prospect that he may never see Livvie again. He had no way of contacting her. He hadn’t thought to take her mobile number, or her address; but he’d had no need; he hadn’t expected last night to turn out the way it had with Mel arriving on the doorstep and pushing Livvie out. All he knew was that he had to get in touch with her somehow. His hopes brightened as he suddenly remembered she’d told him where she worked. What was the name of the shop again, “something Bridal” or “something Brides”? “Blushing Brides”, that was it! He could call there and get her number from the owner or Livvie’s friend, Bryony, provided she’d share it, of course. A second later, his hopes slumped once more when he recalled Livvie had told him the shop was closed until the New Year. Bugger! Would the website he used to advertise the cottage have details of her address? He hoped so.
Familiar with driving in the snow, Zander allowed plenty of time to slow down as he approached the junction for Lytell Stangdale; he was relieved to see there was still just one faint set of tracks. He reasoned that most drivers who tackled this lane would be locals in vehicles equipped with sturdy, chunky tyres, like four-wheel-drives or tractors; this set in front of him were still narrow – they could only belong to Livvie’s car, he was certain. Or, at the very least, hopeful. As he looked left, Zander stole a glance at Mel who’d been tight-lipped since they’d set off. Her face was pinched into a spoilt, angry scowl; he’d seen that plenty of times before and he’d be glad to see the back of it.
He’d chosen not to say anything as it would only lead to further confrontation, but he knew she’d lied about Alf chewing the note; he’d seen it torn up into little pieces and pushed into the bin. She was spiteful and sly and he’d had enough of turning a blind eye to it.
As the Jeep made its way down the steep slope of the hill, its tyres moving quietly over the snow, Zander spotted Camm’s tractor creeping its way up towards them. He exhaled a noisy sigh of relief, but the feeling was quickly snatched away from him when he saw Livvie’s tyre tacks swerving all over the road and leading to the edge of the sheer drop on the left. ‘Jesus, Livvie!’ He cranked his car into a lower gear and gently eased his foot on the brake. In a moment, and despite a few hair-raising skids over the frozen flow of the spring water that had Mel gripping onto her seat, the Jeep came to a halt on the roadside.
Mel remained where she was, silent and st
ony faced as Zander jumped out, rushing round to the rear where he opened the door for Alf. ‘Come on, lad, let’s see if we can find her.’ Alf leapt out and bounded off, following the zig-zagging tracks, stopping briefly when he reached a patch of freshly crushed snow where the tyre marks had come to an abrupt end. He sniffed around for a moment then hared off, disappearing down the bank side. With his heart thumping, Zander ran down the road after him, slipping and sliding, towards where the tyre tracks stopped. Just as he reached the spot, Camm pulled up in front of him and swung down from the tractor. ‘Zander, I’ve had a message from Molly to keep my eyes peeled for Livvie, but I’m afraid I haven’t seen any sign of her.’ His gaze fell on the disappearing trail and Zander’s distraught features. ‘Oh, shit. You think that could be her?’
Zander nodded, breathing heavily. ‘I’m sure of it; I’ve followed the tracks all the way from the cottage.’
‘Right, let’s get down there.’
Just then, Alf started barking.
‘I wonder if he’s found her?’ Hope flickered in Zander’s heart. He cupped his hands around his mouth and called as loud as he could, ‘Livvie! Livvie!’ If she could hear him, he wanted her to know they were on their way for her.
The two men scrambled down the steep bankside, snow soaking their clothing and finding its way inside their wellies, though neither of them noticed. Zander had never know his heart pound as furiously as it was right now, desperately willing Livvie to be alright.
‘There’s her car.’ He pointed to the little silver banger that had come to a halt on its roof. Alf was sniffing round it frantically, whimpering, his tail wagging in interest. He gave another bark. Zander felt panic twist in his stomach, but did all he could to stay calm, telling himself that losing it wasn’t going to help Livvie.
‘I see it,’ said Camm. ‘But it’s hard to tell from here if she’s managed to get out.’
A Christmas Kiss Page 21